00:00
00:00
Newgrounds Background Image Theme

lazyliving456 just joined the crew!

We need you on the team, too.

Support Newgrounds and get tons of perks for just $2.99!

Create a Free Account and then..

Become a Supporter!

I can't have kids, man!

20,312 Views | 218 Replies

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-30 19:44:16


At 5/30/08 07:01 PM, LardLord wrote: From what I understand, the prostate looked like this when it was removed, except that it was broken almost in three pieces, with a few threads connecting the remains. :(

looks worse than my exploded appendix!

no, really!

Memes, bro.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 00:37:15


At 5/30/08 07:55 PM, deafeningsilence5 wrote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impotence

Impotence is not sterilization. It is the inability to achieve an erection. I hope you're just confused, and meant to say sterilized.

Read.

im·po·tent
adj.

1. Lacking physical strength or vigor; weak.
2. Lacking in power, as to act effectively; helpless: "Technology without morality is barbarous; morality without technology is impotent" Freeman J. Dyson.
3.
a. Incapable of sexual intercourse, often because of an inability to achieve or sustain an erection.
b. Sterile. Used of males.
4. Obsolete Lacking self-restraint.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 00:38:23


At 4/14/08 12:25 AM, totaln00b wrote:
At 4/14/08 12:24 AM, Corky52 wrote: Sorry.
seconded.

thirded

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 00:59:06


At 5/31/08 12:52 AM, deafeningsilence5 wrote: The two major problems experienced by men after prostatectomy are:

# Incontinence (an inability to control urination)

# Impotence The inability to achieve or sustain an erection. (an inability to achieve an erection)

This is directly from the source from your first post. http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/prostat eremoval/PR_whatis.html

Impotence has multiple definitions, as stated above. One of which is synonymity with sterility.

I just fucking outlined this via a dictionary definition.

I would know this, kid. It's happening to me.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 01:03:26


Well look on the bright side....you got to instantly cum, thats pretty rare.


RAWR.

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 01:07:58


HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
Cant... stop... laughing...

sorry. D:

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 23:43:06


At 5/31/08 01:07 AM, Samen wrote: HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
Cant... stop... laughing...
sorry. D:

That's dick, dude. Really dick.

I actually feel better than have in a long time, today. Though I'm finding it very difficult to achieve an erection these days. It's almost like the will to do it is gone now.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 23:46:50


That really is tragic, man. But, as a Newgrounder, I feel the need to ask the following question:

When you pulled the magic wand out of your ass, did a rabbit come out? If so, what color?

Other than that... damn. Your penis. Sorry about that


BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 23:50:47


Jack off into as many doner places as possible...


You are a dickhead faggot with no life and deserve nothing better than having your throat ripped out and your dead body being raped. Have a nice day though.

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 23:54:10


to one of those sperm banks before you get the prostatectomy, so you can have children later!

you will probably have a hard time jerkin it though, with your prostate broken and all.


I hate Poozy.

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-05-31 23:56:56


At 5/31/08 11:50 PM, davidofmk771 wrote: Jack off into as many doner places as possible...

Unfortunately, a bit late for that. :|

The good news is that I was able to harvest a very small amount of sperm, at a local sperm bank before I underwent the operation.

This gives me some piece of mind, albeit very little considering that the sperm's lifespan in cryostasis is not expected to exceed a decade.

Thank you, to those who have cared to give advice.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-06-01 00:33:37


At least you don't need protection, ever!

But that seriously sucks ASS. I hope somehow in the future, they'll be able to revert the surgery, but in the meantime, godspeed.

speedycat sure is speedy!

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-06-01 00:34:33


ouch rough times

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-06-23 16:45:55


At 6/1/08 12:34 AM, tvlinks4u wrote: ouch rough times

We all have our problems. Mine are just really bad.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 03:25:34


Wow man, just wow.

I feel so sorry for you....honestly. I also think these people who are making satire out of your problem are fucked up horribly. If karma exists, then they definitely have a freight train waiting for them.

There is more to life than sex. There is much you can do with your life because you still have a very well functioning mind and a knack for writing. Try finding happiness with things you love to do. My Uncle is sterile and paraplegic, and he is one of the most intelligent and happiest guys I know. There is a type of medication available for erections besides viagra by the way---- for people with problems similar to what you have now. Maybe try researching it.


And just like that....he was gone...

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 03:28:30


hey man now you cna be a man whore! that sucks man and i hope some thing can help ease both the mental and physical pain that your going through./


rar

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 03:32:20


Fucking shit, my perineum hurts just hearing about that.


Newgrounds | PM me for a forum signature

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 04:00:30


I have to admit. I laughed hard.


Cancer doesn't make you immune to fire? - Kenshi2

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 04:52:31


While I sympathize with you, and my prostate aches from just reading your story.
I do believe that you don't deserve to pass on your genetic material after something that retarded.


!..!_ (o_O) _!..!

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 04:54:17


Maybe god doesn't want you to give birth to more kids who do weird ass things to themselves. No seriously i'm sorry, that is the worst luck in the history of shitty luck.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 05:47:09


Atleast you didn't partake in the pain olympics.


HTML you may use <a> link

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 06:38:37


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is proof of natural selection.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 07:17:31


ok listen closley you are now able to take DNA grafts and use the to artifically inceminate your woman (i say woman because i dont know if she will be your wife or girlfriend) this is not cheap but can be done i assure you that you ARE able to reproduce although due to your surgery not the natural way this costs about 12,000 dollars to go through the entire process but you can still hae children and if your children are careful, grandchildren i hope that this can help and the only reason i am not referring you to the doctor that i know of is because i have no idea where you are but just like google it or something.

loc.

pic sorta related (it is a refrence to how we can break more boundaries than we expect.

I can't have kids, man!

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 07:20:55


Lucifer, shut up.
As said before, this is natural selection, we don't need this guy to have children.

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 08:40:24


Aww man.. That sucks. Also er.. (Looks at prostate) *Barf*

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-07-07 08:44:48


Isn't it possible to get a good cup of semen and freeze that shit in before you go into surgery?


BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-09-27 13:06:42


atleast you want have to worrie about using a condom

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-09-27 13:34:31


if i may quote vonnegut-
"so it goes"


We're human beings...

HUMAN BEINGS!!!

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-09-27 13:59:36


um, you could adopt and switch out your entire blood cell to that child and become at least blood related

OH SHIT

http://www.interstellarmarines.com/

the best AAA Indie game in the making, help the game by spreading the word! ;D

BBS Signature

Response to I can't have kids, man! 2008-09-27 14:01:50


You should freeze some jizz before they cut you open.