Forum Topic: I can't have kids, man!

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Misunderstood

TAUfanatic

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Posted at: 4/14/08 01:04 AM

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you have my condolences.....but the docters said it MAY render you impotent.....so there's hope.

thanx Phobotech =)

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Crying

TAUfanatic

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Posted at: 4/14/08 01:05 AM

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At 4/14/08 01:04 AM, TAUfanatic wrote: you have my condolences.....but the docters said it MAY render you impotent.....so there's hope.

oh shit I read it wrong........sorry for the false hope......I'm just making it worse aren't I?........

thanx Phobotech =)

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Rig

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Posted at: 4/14/08 01:08 AM

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You could probably go to a sperm bank before the operation and masturbate furiously, then when you want kids, bring your lady down there and do the artificial insemination thing.


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Grammer

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Posted at: 4/14/08 01:53 AM

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Well that's a damn shame. You can always adopt? I dunno. I never saw what was so great with having kids and all, with the world being overpopulated and such.

Error - Missing Required Parameters

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Jesse-Ray

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Posted at: 4/14/08 01:55 AM

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Ouch cant you get a few cups of sperm before they steal that bad boy? Also without a prostate does that mean you orgasm?

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MrThirtySix

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Posted at: 4/14/08 02:04 AM

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p0psZ

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Posted at: 4/14/08 02:15 AM

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Sucks to be you....

You should join The Guitar Hero Club!
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Do I rock, or do I suck? Only your PM's will tell.

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Luxury-Yacht

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Posted at: 4/14/08 02:17 AM

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JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A FUCKING SICK STORY.

Anyway, what you COULD do, maybe, is have some of your sperm frozen before you have the prostate removed, so when you want to have a child later, you could have it artificially implanted into the woman you love.


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rifledark1

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:07 AM

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At 4/14/08 12:54 AM, LardLord wrote:
At 4/14/08 12:50 AM, Rudy wrote:
At 4/14/08 12:39 AM, LardLord wrote:
At 4/14/08 12:36 AM, Sarcasm wrote: You're quite the wily one, Bolo!
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!
So your nice little stories were false.

):
awh man.
At 4/14/08 12:48 AM, Grubby wrote: So, are you petroleum?
Already explained that shit.

Bolo was Petroleum. He fucked with a whole bunch of people, before admitting he tricked everybody. Then he handed off the account to me, a real life close friend of his.

The way his mind works is just fucking weird. I don't know why he did what he did, but I was happy to accept this account from him.

Can we please get back to discussing the problem at hand, now?

Do you guys know of any ways I can preserve my semen in some form of cryo-stasis chamber? Have you heard of any ways?

It's called a sperm bank,where you store your sperm. You people never heard of this?

Well,there is one way you can make babies again: Steal a prostate gland from someone and put it in... But that's just fucked up and wrong. Though, if there are organ donors,there may be prostate gland donors... hmmm...

w00tz4Brawl.inb4intarnetz, thar wush socializing.

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HappyPill

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:20 AM

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My advice, adopt...
Or,steal your neighbors kid...

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LardLord

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:21 AM

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At 4/14/08 03:07 AM, rifledark1 wrote: It's called a sperm bank,where you store your sperm. You people never heard of this?

Well,there is one way you can make babies again: Steal a prostate gland from someone and put it in... But that's just fucked up and wrong. Though, if there are organ donors,there may be prostate gland donors... hmmm...

I don't think some of you are comprehending fully the dire nature of my situaiton; the fluid from the prostate makes up an integral 15% of the mass of semen. Without the prostate, or with it irreversibly damaged, there will be no semen.

I can't simply masturbate one last time, and save the semen - if I did that, the semen would be missing that 15% of mass, and essential nutrients and chemicals. In other words, it would be incapable of impregnation.

What I'm looking for is a lab that is able to create sperm from the remnants of my shattered prostate. I know what cryo-sperm banks are, but I'm talking about piecing together the constituents of my semen manually, using the last dregs of fluid produced by my prostate before it was injured.

And I think the clock is really ticking on that.


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Haoie

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:22 AM

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You have my sympathy.

How old are you, by the way? And I take it you're married.

If each mistake being made is a new one, then progress is being made.


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DaVeB0T

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:31 AM

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Poetic justice, or a new beginning?

We can rebuild him...

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rifledark1

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:39 AM

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At 4/14/08 03:21 AM, LardLord wrote:
What I'm looking for is a lab that is able to create sperm from the remnants of my shattered prostate. I know what cryo-sperm banks are, but I'm talking about piecing together the constituents of my semen manually, using the last dregs of fluid produced by my prostate before it was injured.

And I think the clock is really ticking on that.

Err... Good luck with that.

Is that possible,btw? Too bad stem cell research is outlawed :/

w00tz4Brawl.inb4intarnetz, thar wush socializing.

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Shmossy

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:44 AM

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At 4/14/08 12:54 AM, LardLord wrote: cryo-stasis chamber

I believed what you had said up until now.
You took it too far; good one though.


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j-ufo

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:50 AM

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you could get them frozen in a sperm bank, and maybe make a deal with them, so you can have them for your own personal use. HOWEVER, I don't know about the rules in your area, but here in Denmark, the Sperm Banks only keeps the Sperm for 4 years, due to the damage that the cold could have caused to the sperm.

however, i feel sorry for you. but that how lige sometimes is.
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tally1989

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:52 AM

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i feel sorry for you

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LTcolor

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Posted at: 4/14/08 03:55 AM

LTcolor NEUTRAL LEVEL 06

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why don't you try to fly.
(don't use a parachute, wings or a computer)

warning, this could also be dangerous to the well-being of yourself. please do not try this without a parent supervision.

Its your life to play Free Online Games


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ZENON

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Posted at: 4/14/08 04:54 AM

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I'll admit. I fucking twitched.

Most recent (good) song: Starve Amongst Feasts

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Sawdust

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Posted at: 4/14/08 04:57 AM

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So that means you can't have sex either eh?
Sucks for you then.

Lisa Bonet ate no basil, Warsaw was raw, Was it a car or a cat I saw?

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The-Real-Syko

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Posted at: 4/14/08 05:41 AM

The-Real-Syko LIGHT LEVEL 08

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Owchies D: you can't get a sperm sample before you get it done?

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Digitaaliklosetti

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Posted at: 4/14/08 05:55 AM

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olololololo

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Badggertron5000

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Posted at: 4/14/08 05:58 AM

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That really, really sucks. But if you wanted a kid in later life, you could adopt anyway. Not the end of the world.


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homor

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Posted at: 4/14/08 05:58 AM

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donate spearm.

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[oh hi i wrote afew stories.]
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AbsurdRandomness

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Posted at: 4/14/08 07:27 AM

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Your ass smells like shit... not very hard to answer that one.


Crying

youngblood26

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Posted at: 4/14/08 07:31 AM

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Whoa, sorry for that man.

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H-K-S

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Posted at: 4/14/08 07:32 AM

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You could of donated sperm before you did, you fucking retard. Even if it did hurt, you could of HAD a chance. Sucks to be you.


Goofy

LeeJaySan

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Posted at: 4/14/08 07:37 AM

LeeJaySan EVIL LEVEL 21

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Don't even dare plan a sex change, buttwhipe! Do you wanna go homo?

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AQ girl, My club,
Friends, Homies, and Assholes

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IrishChrisman

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Posted at: 4/14/08 07:52 AM

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Before the operation you could always freeze some sperm so if you ever get married you can have kids.


Crying

armstrong1

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Posted at: 4/14/08 07:57 AM

armstrong1 DARK LEVEL 08

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dude if u are telling the truth i feel so bad for u even if it was your fault but we all make mistakes and i guess this one was horrible. sorry dude my condolences

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