Recently, the Australian PlayStation site held a competition to promote the release of the new God of War game on PSP. It was pretty simple, you could either submit a drawing of Kratos kicking some ass (or sitting on the beach with a piña colada if you felt that was more appropriate), or say in 25 words or less why you appreciated the GoW series (now I know you guys like to abbreviate Gears of War to GoW as well, but I haven't played that game so try and keep focused). 500 demo UMD's were up for grabs, with the submissions deemed most creative earning the prize. Even though I don't own a PSP, spending a minute thinking about what I had enjoyed in the series so far was nothing to ask. I figured if I won I could give the demo to someone with a PSP, or maybe even use it as a little more motivation to go and buy one myself.
When I checked the mail today I had an old internet bill and some kind of strange bubblewrap envelope I had never imagined could exist. Inside was a robotic congratulatory letter and a demo GoW UMD. I laughed. I thought about giving it to the guy who lives across the hall from me because I'd seen him with a PSP the other day, but he annoys the shit out of me so I quickly decided against that. After having a quick think about who else I knew with a PSP and coming up short, I figured I'd work a different angle. Considering the judges felt my 'entry to the competition demonstrated creativity and a genuine interest in the God of War franchise and PlayStation Portable' why should a cheap UMD be the end of my freebies? And besides, what's the use of giving me the thing if I can't even use it? Since my creativity had gotten me this far, I figured I'd see if it could get me any further. So I sent them this email:
Dear Mr & Mrs PlayStation,
First of all, as a winner of the recent God of War Chains of Olympus competition, I'd like to thank you for the greatly appreciated prize UMD. I can't tell you just how much I've been enjoying the mini disc of love, harmony and peace. However, after many an hour of interacting with your lovely gift, I found myself questioning my acts. Was there more to this shiny round object wrapped in a strange, plastic container than just good looks and the ability to rotate? After asking a few mates, I discovered something shocking. Apparently, in order to get the most out of these highly technical UMD's, you need another device. A PlayStation Portable, they said it was called.
As you can imagine, I suddenly felt rather silly. Here I was trying to make conversation with the young man pictured taming his pet dinosaur when he couldn't even hear me! I know this is probably far too much to ask, but I can't even begin to try and describe how much I'd love to get to know the charming painted man seen illustrated on the mini-booklet included with the not for resale demo UMD. If at all possible, would you please provide me with the means to communicate with the friendly fellow, as now that I realise there's so much in there to unlock, the mere sight of the once pride-inducing prize now produces a much harsher bitter disappointment.
Please, put an end to the mocking and the teasing.
Please, a PSP for the poor man.
Yours in the war against piracy,
and I included all the details I'd associated with my entry at the end.
So, what do you think? Next time I check the mail will there be a shiny new PSP waiting for me? Or maybe a smartass reply saying they don't want to ruin my creativity by providing the means to waste my time killing my brain? Either of those would make my day.
Would YOU give that email a PSP?
