Trying my luck with Sony.

[FIGMENTUM]

Recently, the Australian PlayStation site held a competition to promote the release of the new God of War game on PSP. It was pretty simple, you could either submit a drawing of Kratos kicking some ass (or sitting on the beach with a piña colada if you felt that was more appropriate), or say in 25 words or less why you appreciated the GoW series (now I know you guys like to abbreviate Gears of War to GoW as well, but I haven't played that game so try and keep focused). 500 demo UMD's were up for grabs, with the submissions deemed most creative earning the prize. Even though I don't own a PSP, spending a minute thinking about what I had enjoyed in the series so far was nothing to ask. I figured if I won I could give the demo to someone with a PSP, or maybe even use it as a little more motivation to go and buy one myself.

When I checked the mail today I had an old internet bill and some kind of strange bubblewrap envelope I had never imagined could exist. Inside was a robotic congratulatory letter and a demo GoW UMD. I laughed. I thought about giving it to the guy who lives across the hall from me because I'd seen him with a PSP the other day, but he annoys the shit out of me so I quickly decided against that. After having a quick think about who else I knew with a PSP and coming up short, I figured I'd work a different angle. Considering the judges felt my 'entry to the competition demonstrated creativity and a genuine interest in the God of War franchise and PlayStation Portable' why should a cheap UMD be the end of my freebies? And besides, what's the use of giving me the thing if I can't even use it? Since my creativity had gotten me this far, I figured I'd see if it could get me any further. So I sent them this email:

Dear Mr & Mrs PlayStation,

First of all, as a winner of the recent God of War Chains of Olympus competition, I'd like to thank you for the greatly appreciated prize UMD. I can't tell you just how much I've been enjoying the mini disc of love, harmony and peace. However, after many an hour of interacting with your lovely gift, I found myself questioning my acts. Was there more to this shiny round object wrapped in a strange, plastic container than just good looks and the ability to rotate? After asking a few mates, I discovered something shocking. Apparently, in order to get the most out of these highly technical UMD's, you need another device. A PlayStation Portable, they said it was called.

As you can imagine, I suddenly felt rather silly. Here I was trying to make conversation with the young man pictured taming his pet dinosaur when he couldn't even hear me! I know this is probably far too much to ask, but I can't even begin to try and describe how much I'd love to get to know the charming painted man seen illustrated on the mini-booklet included with the not for resale demo UMD. If at all possible, would you please provide me with the means to communicate with the friendly fellow, as now that I realise there's so much in there to unlock, the mere sight of the once pride-inducing prize now produces a much harsher bitter disappointment.

Please, put an end to the mocking and the teasing.

Please, a PSP for the poor man.

Yours in the war against piracy,

and I included all the details I'd associated with my entry at the end.

So, what do you think? Next time I check the mail will there be a shiny new PSP waiting for me? Or maybe a smartass reply saying they don't want to ruin my creativity by providing the means to waste my time killing my brain? Either of those would make my day.

Would YOU give that email a PSP?

[G-F-D]

Haha, that's funny stuff!
I think he'd send you a PSP if he was a nice guy, but some people don't have a sense of humor, who knows!

I'd send you one if it was me lol, I'm a sucker for those kinda letters.

[Scrotaculous]

I would need to see your entry first before I can decide. I mean if the entry was that good, then mabye but I doubt sony would be that nice.

[TheNossinator]

At 4/11/08 02:00 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: Would YOU give that email a PSP?

PSP's don't come cheap, you know.

But yeah, probably. But then again, do I work at Sony?

[FIGMENTUM]

At 4/11/08 02:08 AM, Scrotaculous wrote: I would need to see your entry first before I can decide. I mean if the entry was that good, then mabye but I doubt sony would be that nice.

There's really not much you can do with 25 words man. From memory, it was something like "I appreciate the reckless violence and brutal characterisation of one of the most <something> characters on PlayStation."

No response yet, but large companies do like to take their time. : \ \\ \ \\ \ \ \

[Some-Stupid-Idiot]

Well let me tell you something right now, don't trust Sony. They already made an unreliable AV cable for the PS2 and they don't do much to their fans, well except for... RIIDGE RACEERR!!

[FIGMENTUM]

lols

Dear nshdfjhsig,

Thank you for your recent email.

We don't provide any PSP or PlayStation systems directly. They can be purchased form most retail stores that currently sell PlayStation products. There are various bundle packs that you may be able to purchase, please talk to a retail store for further assistance on this.

If you have any further queries regarding PlayStation products & services, please contact the support team on the details listed below.

Regards,

Lezel

PlayStation Support Centre

IOW: Buy one you stingy cunt.

[Rage]

500 demo UMDs were up for grabs? I'd be surprised if they even got 500 submissions. I think. I'm not sure.

I'm sure there's plenty of funny things you could do with it, including but not limited to dropping the UMD on the ground and smashing it, yelling "YOU'RE NO GOOD WITHOUT A PSP. THEY DIDN'T TELL ME I NEEDED A PSP"

Make sure to do that in front of someone that has one. They'll think you're smashing a full game.

[JackPhantasm]

Lezel sounds like the name of a hottie.

[Rooster]

I loved that e-mail so much, I am thinking of just sending you my modded psp with GoW already on it.

seriously.

[Dazmi]

I imagine ether a PSP, or no reply.

[Shawn]

I feel the pain i also enter contest just to see if i win and when i do I'm like "Fuck now how the hell am i suppose to play this?"

[aeternitas]

That smartass email took a few minutes to write. I honestly think it's deserving of a PSP, I mean, you didn't just send an email of the 'WTF GIMME PSP' caliber...you put some brain cells into your mockery.

And the reply email, well, that was just lame. 'Gee, thanks for entering our contest, but if you want to use your prize, you must pay (insert price of a PSP these days) to us, so in the end we win. Q.E.D. Thx, Sony.' I say go ninja on them.

[G-Clock]

taht wood be awsome if you gotted a psp. You wood be my hero

[FIGMENTUM]

At 4/19/08 01:28 AM, physco-pickle wrote: I loved that e-mail so much, I am thinking of just sending you my modded psp with GoW already on it.

I would not be opposed to that course of action, but I'm not sure how an American PSP would fare under Australian conditions.

At 4/19/08 01:49 AM, aeternitas wrote: That smartass email took a few minutes to write. I honestly think it's deserving of a PSP

Well yeah me too, but I'm biased because I'd get a PSP out of it.

I mean, you didn't just send an email of the 'WTF GIMME PSP' caliber...you put some brain cells into your mockery.

It had been a good day and I was in a joking mood, so I figured why not. I knew the chances of it actually working were very slim to none, so I had a bit of fun with it.

And the reply email, well, that was just lame. 'Gee, thanks for entering our contest, but if you want to use your prize, you must pay (insert price of a PSP these days) to us, so in the end we win. Q.E.D. Thx, Sony.' I say go ninja on them.

I was hoping for a bit of a break in the professionalism so I might get a laugh out of it too but alas, it was not to be.

[Rooster]

At 4/19/08 02:07 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote:

At 4/19/08 01:28 AM, physco-pickle wrote: I loved that e-mail so much, I am thinking of just sending you my modded psp with GoW already on it.

I would not be opposed to that course of action, but I'm not sure how an American PSP would fare under Australian conditions.

I don't know, I'll slap a sticker of a kangaroo on it or something.
But it already has a crack down the screen because I used to use it so much when I didn't have the internet so I used that, and after awhile the battery heats up so much that it fuck up the screen. Its like a first or second series psp also, so that might have contributed.

[beeryayghost]

It is very clear that Lezel is a dirty communist who enjoys eating orphans.

[Samen]

At 4/19/08 02:14 AM, beeryayghost wrote: It is very clear that Lezel is a dirty communist who enjoys eating orphans.

So?
Where I come from, the orphan eating would cancel out the communism, because eating parentless children is a time honored tradition in the Silicon Valley.

Think, "Wickerman".

[emochild]

You should sue them to hell if they deny your request