Can you guys try to be serious...

[Suicide-Reject]

This isnt a slam on anyone, its really just a story that I have to share. A few weeks ago I met a great girl and she and I write back and forth everyday and talk everyday for about 3 hours a day. Well her brother just informed me that her last b/f died in a car crash and before he died he told her that she would find a guy like him if he didnt make it. Well her bro said that I am just like him. I feel kinda sick about this cuz she still hasnt gotten over the guy and she might never get over him. If you guys have any advice I would greatly appreciate it. And hyper_goat yes I know that I live a weird life. I dont need you to tell me that. :)

[icephoenix795]

don't mention the boyfriend, and don't hurt her physaclly, mentally or emotionally, and be nice, that should work

[RUDE]

Run for the hills and don't look back.

No seriously though, I think that you should give her time, if you are in love with her then go for it, if you just like her then you don't have to stress yourself over it.

I would run and never come back if I found out that I was a reminder of her dead boyfriend.

[Suicide-Reject]

At 9/27/03 11:01 AM, icephoenix795 wrote: don't mention the boyfriend, and don't hurt her physaclly, mentally or emotionally, and be nice, that should work

I would never hurt her in anyway. I am serious when I say that. Too bad she is moving down under. Maybe Nephthys can look after her.

[Janus]

That makes me sad.

Why couldn't YOU have been the one to die in a car crash?

(By being a jerk, I'm making a point. Can you guess what that point is?)

-Janus

[Suicide-Reject]

At 9/27/03 11:10 AM, Janus wrote:
Why couldn't YOU have been the one to die in a car crash?

I said to her if I could switch places with the guy I would, but I cant. I wish everyday that it was me and not him.

[Never-Die]

That must've been pretty hard on her eh? Well, I agree, just give her some time and maybe she'll get over him and focus more on the relationship you two have together.

[Wadezilla]

Well, if you are really going to believe Mr. Cleo there, I suggest, don't drive. Just take cabs or have her drive. Plus, if she really loved her last boyfriend, and you are supposivly just like him, I guess she will be happier.

[Suicide-Reject]

At 9/27/03 11:13 AM, Never_Die wrote: That must've been pretty hard on her eh?

It was very hard and she lives far away now and is moving australia so I cant comfort her by being where she is.

[AntiTanner]

At 9/27/03 12:18 PM, -Boondock_Drunk- wrote: so I cant comfort her by being where she is.

Why would you even want to do that? Women are just pussy, man. That bitch has way too much baggage. You could prolly get a handjob, and she would be cryinging while giving it...well that may be interesting.

[zimzap]

Girls with baggage at that age = BAD

[Kurt-1]

At 9/27/03 01:37 PM, Newgrundling wrote:

At 9/27/03 01:31 PM, Victor_Kruger wrote: Why would you even want to do that? Women are just pussy, man. That bitch has way too much baggage. You could prolly get a handjob, and she would be cryinging while giving it...well that may be interesting.

A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

why is this Newgrundling

[numbers]

Well you know what you could do.

This one time at home, i was masturbating to Cartoon Porn, when on T.V the program "Darma and Greg" was playing, and i overheard some dude discuss with greg that "when a woman is scared that is code for she wants to be seckz0red" so all you have to do is scare the girl (not knowing she knew it was you totureing her) and then when she comes running to you (since you remind her of your boyfriend..) she will be scared and much like to the t.v show's reference she will be horny and she will want you to have secks with her. ^_^

[numbers]

At 9/27/03 02:14 PM, 7426001 wrote: then when she comes running to you (since you remind her of your boyfriend..)

kekeke ^_^ i meant to say "since you remind her of her boyfriend".

...........penis..

[D34M0N]

She can get better over her ex if you help her get over him. ;)

[hyper-goat]

hehe, don't worry, I won't say it. My advice to you, is to not mention her old boyfriend, and be good to her.

[aviewaskewed]

At 9/27/03 10:57 AM, -Boondock_Drunk- wrote: This isnt a slam on anyone, its really just a story that I have to share. A few weeks ago I met a great girl and she and I write back and forth everyday and talk everyday for about 3 hours a day. Well her brother just informed me that her last b/f died in a car crash and before he died he told her that she would find a guy like him if he didnt make it. Well her bro said that I am just like him. I feel kinda sick about this cuz she still hasnt gotten over the guy and she might never get over him. If you guys have any advice I would greatly appreciate it. And hyper_goat yes I know that I live a weird life. I dont need you to tell me that. :)

Just take it slow...and DON'T try and replace him...just be you, and let her decide what she wants you to be. Believe me, I'm in a weird situation with a girl right now (definately not this, and no, I will NOT be spreadin that around the net), and that's what I myself have done, and that's what she has been doing with me. Sometimes relationships aren't simple, just hang in there and tough it out, it's worth it, trust me.

[Suicide-Reject]

Thanks to everyone that had serious comments to make. I really appreciate it. And I talked to her mom today and she says that I have made her the happiest that she has seen in a year. So I guess that is a plus. Anyway I wont mention the guy ever again to her and I will just be the best I can to her. That is all.

[KNOX-1]

HAEV HOT BUT SECKS!

[Spike-J-Wolfwood]

At 9/27/03 10:57 AM, -Boondock_Drunk- wrote: This isnt a slam on anyone, its really just a story that I have to share. A few weeks ago I met a great girl and she and I write back and forth everyday and talk everyday for about 3 hours a day. Well her brother just informed me that her last b/f died in a car crash and before he died he told her that she would find a guy like him if he didnt make it. Well her bro said that I am just like him. I feel kinda sick about this cuz she still hasnt gotten over the guy and she might never get over him. If you guys have any advice I would greatly appreciate it. And hyper_goat yes I know that I live a weird life. I dont need you to tell me that. :)

Don’t do it. You should get involved with someone who likes you for the person you are as an individual. Not because your character traits seem to resemble an ideal left by the last guy. She needs to move on but dating won’t help it will only lock her into a pattern of co-dependency harming her chances of dealing with her trauma in a healthy way.

It will also be a chaotic relationship because any traits that aren’t like the late boyfriends will fall under attack. She will attempt to change you to fit an ideal.

[AntiTanner]

At 9/27/03 02:10 PM, Waq wrote: why is this Newgrundling

Its a song.

[zimzap]

You shouldn't mention ex's even if they ARE alive.

[Mojimbo]

just fuck her

[RazorBladez]

At 9/27/03 10:57 AM, -Boondock_Drunk- wrote: stuff

my advice, stay well away, don't get involved. it will only hang like a shadow over you both and if you want to end it cause it's not working out for any reason she might not be able to handle losing another boyfriend.

[Mr-Silv3r]

At 9/27/03 08:05 PM, Mojimbo wrote: just fuck her

thats the spirit mate...

and who's to say Nepythys (i cumbi figurin out teh spellin) is the ONLY aussie on here, ey mate?

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! Collingwood lost the Grand Final against Brisbane! suck shit all you 'pies fans....

[WadeFulp]

At 9/27/03 11:13 AM, -Boondock_Drunk- wrote: I said to her if I could switch places with the guy I would, but I cant. I wish everyday that it was me and not him.

Now that's lame! Why would you wish you were dead so some guy you don't even know was alive getting it on with the girl you like? Now that's whipped folks! :)

[JKirk]

At 9/27/03 08:22 PM, WadeFulp wrote:

At 9/27/03 11:13 AM, -Boondock_Drunk- wrote: I said to her if I could switch places with the guy I would, but I cant. I wish everyday that it was me and not him.

Now that's lame! Why would you wish you were dead so some guy you don't even know was alive getting it on with the girl you like? Now that's whipped folks! :)

Amen.. It sounds like your sucking up and don't make it sound like that but I know you have to also be sincere.. but dont be TOO sincere man...

[Dobio]

Dealing with someone who has just had a death, can be really difficult, depending on who it was who died.

With someone's boyfriend, depending on how close they were, it can be really tough, or really easy.

Never wish that it was you who died, that's just fucking retarded, and it makes you come across as a little whiney sap.

Be strong, but don't try to be like her ex, if that's what she's looking for, then chances are, she's not the one for you.

In fact, that's fucking stupid, simply because she's only trying to trick reality, by using you, to be a 'stand in' for her ex-boyfriend, who is now dead.

Too bad for you...but, if you stick to it, you can make it work, just BE YOURSELF.

[rMammoth]

My advice would be to rent the movie "Rushmore". Seriously.

[LeatherQueen]

If she seriously hasn't gotten over the death of her last companion, you're probably better off resigning yourself to the "friend zone". I know it sucks, but she can't legitimately return any affection you may feel to her as long as she carries that baggage with her. If you want to stay close to her and be a comforting shoulder, more power to you, but chances are she may yet get over her loss and come to see you as a new potential companion, only to decide later that her feelings for you weren't genuine, only echos of her former relationship. Whether it's true or not, it's still a strong possibility. Dubbed a "rebound" you may be dumped most unceremoniously for the next guy, or gal, she feels she has "real" feelings for.

It's a delicate rope you'll have to walk in this situation to achieve any modicum of happiness, and I don't envy your position. But I do wish you the best of luck.