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At 4/1/08 09:33 PM, GoForthAndDie wrote:You never have this problem with Hentai.
That alone deserves a whole new forum if we were ever going to be able to list out the problems with that.
good one, though.
8. I just wasted my life here.
.Every scene ends the same fucking way, and that starts to piss me off. I feel like I've been severly screwed (no pun intended) by the waste of my thirty minutes. After going at it like a fat man with a jackhammer for what feels like a lifetime, the male participant in what they seem to refer to as "love making" will always, and I repeat, always pull out and then pleasure himself to a less than satisfactory finish. That feels like robbery to me, as I'm sitting here watching a man play with himself, and the female in frame is the only saving grace I have to not feel like a raging homosexual.
you nailed it right there i do not want to wacth another man jerking off in a porno, its just ruins the whole thing.
its like the unwritten rule of porno or something though.
At 4/1/08 10:03 PM, MidnyteRayne wrote:
Aside from tits the size of Good Year blimps and tentacles out (and in) the wazoo.
And these are BAD things?
Ok how about another one.
11. Fucking retarded bitches.
While it's quite obvious that those in the porn industry are not the brightest of the bunch, a stellar few make it painstakingly obvious that they were born clinically retarded. If it wasn't for the frequent Deer-In-Headlights look they get when sucking dick when they should be doing their job and not making it obvious to everyone that their is a camera in their face, they disobey the first cardinal rule of smut, which is TALKING TOO GODDAMN MUCH. When they open their mouths, any word other than "cock, dick, fuck, pussy, bitch, whore, slut" comes out like a proverbial flood of "fucking duh." I mean come on, at least let me give you the benefit of the doubt and live in blissful ignorance, just pretending you have a brain to go with those tits.
The 'pull out'
ok, so the woman's about to come. Blow her load everywhere. But the selfish, selfish man pulls out, and instead smacks her nipple with his half limp dick. I WANT TO SEE WOMAN CUMDAMNIT!
Fairly self explanatory, why do men in pornos dribble cum instead of shoot it?
Aaw come on, I could give her a better time than THAT.
At 4/1/08 08:18 PM, MidnyteRayne wrote:
4. Excessive amounts of non-pornographic scenes.
So if by some fucking grace of God the scene is actually decent, and it stays decent for a good long while, you're usually greeted by something that goes along the lines of this:
I laughed my ass off at how true this specific part is. That's why I like lesbians.
Please click here. You'd make my fiance` happy... Please?
I'm a voice actor, and I love what I do. I'm also a writer, and love that just as much.
you hit the nail with the hammer.
I especially hate it when they show more cock than tits and vagoo
like when 65% of the screen is cock and 35% is woman, we all know that we want to see the tits or gtfo, yet they still do all these zoom-ins on the penor
I hate Poozy.
What? Like the whore hasn't taken birth control along with her Prozac today.
Yeah, just put it inside her already. I don't want to spend 10 minutes trying to keep my dick hard staring at a dick getting covered in spit.
This is one of the biggest turnoffs in porn. As if it isn't annoying enough listening to the girl screaming, I really don't want to hear a gruff voice saying "Oh god yeah, oh your pussy is so tight ooooh".
What the fuck? I've sworn that I'm 18, I want to see nudity here. Whacking off to pixels isn't much fun.
Japanese 'Rape' Moaning.
It may just be me, but it makes me feel even more dirty when the girl doesn't sound like she wants to be there. Since they talk in japanese, as far as I know shes begging for mercy.
Blatantly Fake Breasts.
I may be strange here, but I'm not a fan of DDDDDDDDD beachball sized tits. You aren't fooling anyone, stop flaunting your surgery.
I agree with mostly all of that, ESPECIALLY when the woman won't shut up.
Insert signature here.