Okay so I've been in a steady sexual relationship with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now.
Girls, unlike guys, have strange and complex sexual desires.
Naturally there's some spectrum of girls who don't follow suit, but generally it's like this:
Guys have an amazingly easy sex drive. 90% of the time, a guy can just pop an erection and screw something.
With Girls it's very much more difficult. Where the sight of some tits or ass with give 8/10 straight guys an instant boner, women require much more intense psychological erotica to turn them on.
The most common mistake you can make as a guy is assume that everytime you want to have sex, the girl wants to have sex as well.
Having said this, it's not impossible to turn girls on.
You have to be able to talk to them though.
There's a secret technique to talking to girls though:
Assholes.
I'm not talking about people who annoy you, i'm talking about actual assholes. Anuses. Buttholes. Chocolate Starfish, etc.
While you're in conversation with a girl you like, try to point it at the asshole. The reason women like the asshole is simple - their vaginas bleed too much.
They know that their vagina is bleeding all the time and that no one likes it, not even them, so the asshole is the only logical place you can enjoy.
Next time you're in a conversation with a girl, say something about her asshole. I gaurntee you'll get laid.
BBS Mod, PM me if you have something to report.
Best pick up line ever.
"Hey, do you have a quarter? My dad told me to call him when I got a hueg boner."
HUEG.
ummm wow...................have u even tired this
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I'll take your advice on how not to score with girls.
That doesn't sound like the greatest advice heres how it would go.
Guy: hey
Girl: hi
Guy: so whats up
Girl: Nothing much you
Guy: Can i see your asshole?
Girl: *slap**walk away*
:::PSN ID::: elmsk8er2 ADD ME!!
:::GAMERTAG::: Archsinner... ADD ME
Also click my sig to comment my userpage please
Yeah, I get a boner when I see asses and boobs.
Thanks MuffDiver102 for the sig.
"Het girl, I'd like me some of that hot ass you got there"
*girl jumps at you*
You are giving sex advice to a large populace who are still virgins.
That's like trying to explain to a blind man what blue is.
that's pretty shitty advice. If someone was like that to me-I'd be like "fuck no get away from my ass!!!"
there is love burning to find you, will you wait for me?
I actually never take advice on how to pick up girls online. It's asking for it.
Weak Men are Hard on Others while Strong Men are Hard on Themselves.
Me: Hi.
Him: Hi.
Me: So...
Him: You have a nice asshole.
Me: You should see my penis.
Just saying.
No.
Girls don't know what sex for pleasure is. Only for manipulating men into their twisted desires.
At 3/19/08 08:29 PM, crazyperson3 wrote: that's pretty shitty advice. If someone was like that to me-I'd be like "fuck no get away from my ass!!!"
What do you know you shit pancake?
I'll burn a cross on your lawn and sodomize myself infront of your grandmother while poppin ecstasy and ridalin into my dickhole.
Dude, if i was a girl, i'd pepper spray you. seriously.
But yeah... when hitting on girls, Dont talk about their special places? kk? that includes breasts. seriously. dont be a moron.
At 3/19/08 08:33 PM, KingofKool wrote: can you say 'sexual assault'?
I'll take a dump on every girl I meet and they'll love me for it. I'll eat nothing but pancake mix.
At 3/19/08 08:40 PM, Stoicish wrote: It didn't work.
People actually... you know, fucking use Java still?
At 3/19/08 08:23 PM, Dry-Ice wrote: Next time you're in a conversation with a girl, say something about her asshole. I gaurntee you'll get laid.
I stand by this advice, as this system has worked for me in the past.
Guaranteed results 90% of the time, every single time.
What's this "Girl" thing you talk about.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- George Carlin
At 3/19/08 08:40 PM, Stoicish wrote: It didn't work.
I lol'd! You're right Dry Ice, I love it when a guy says I have the prettiest big brown eye.
"Lulz is watching someone lose their mind at their computer 2,000 miles away while you chat with friends and laugh"
At 3/19/08 08:40 PM, Stoicish wrote: It didn't work.
That's funny. I laughed.
But seriously, in the pooper kinda scares me. :x
Send me a message. I promise to listen to whatever you have to say.
You guys piss me off sometimes.
That's ridiculous. It's not even funny.
To all the people who still thinks it wont work -
Have you ever actually tried it?
I have, and damn, it works.
Hard.
BBS Mod, PM me if you have something to report.
At 3/19/08 08:41 PM, BananaBreadMuffin wrote: HE JUST SHOVED A FINGER UP THERE
What happened to Birttany? I remember her news post and then poof.
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic /777777
http://metaldart.webs.com/ My freewebs website. Check it out dog.
My old NG profile ID: 1321019
there will never be peace in BBS as long as we hate each other, There are thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking the root DoMiNiC147
At 3/19/08 09:14 PM, MetalDart wrote:At 3/19/08 08:41 PM, BananaBreadMuffin wrote: HE JUST SHOVED A FINGER UP THEREWhat happened to Birttany? I remember her news post and then poof.
Wade deleted her account.
True story.
BBS Mod, PM me if you have something to report.
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