Ah yes. If we kill ourselfs, then everyone we know will be miserable! Brilliant!

The point is, no issue in life is worth killing yourself over. When you kill yourself, you not only don't fix your pain, but you make everyone you know miserable. {insert sterotypical uplifting comment}. Just don't be dumbass. An EMO dumbass.

I think suicide is stupid. Life is tough, it really is, it's a tough life out there and shit never has been and never will be easy. It's something you have to slave through, and every now and then, when you stop and think for a bit, you have a few moments where the world isn't so crappy. Just slave through it and at the end of the day you can look around and laugh at all the crazy shit you've been through.

But if you commit suicide, you'll be just like all the other fagot emo kids.

At 2/20/08 05:31 PM, Xavon wrote: If you came here expecting a joke then I'm sorry to inform you this is the real deal. To understand a little about me, you can read what I posted not too long ago.

So, I think my mind has finally snapped. I'm not even sure what I should be saying right now or why I should say anything, but I guess the bottom line right now is that I've considered committing suicide more now than I ever have before. I can't focus, my mind is always filled with terrible thoughts, my emotions constantly get in the way of everything I do, I'm doing poorly in school, my social life isn't as strong as it used to be, and I don't really enjoy anything as much as I used to. My mind is really broken right now, it finally whiplashed and decided to try and take me down once and for all.

If I killed myself, what would the big deal be? On my side, all I see happening after I'm gone is nothing or something; and when I look at it that way there isn't much to lose. I can hardly control myself anymore, I'm losing everything and it's berserk lately; my thoughts are short-circuiting everything about me and changing me entirely. I can seem normal on the outside, but that's fake, everything inside me is gone; I feel hollow and worthless. Sure, I could change myself if I really tried, I could graduate with my class if I really put my mind to it; but I don't have the mental strength to do anything anymore; even if I tried it wouldn't make a difference, I would revert to being the same hollow being that I've always been in due time.

Really, what do I say during a time like this? I obviously can't think for myself right now, I'm illogical, irresponsible, and somewhat delusional from all of this stress. Seriously, I don't give a fuck if some of you assholes take this as a joke or don't attempt to say anything productive, so go kill yourself before I beat you to it if you're going to post like an idiot.

The only thing I do know is that I'd be dead already if I had any firearms in my vicinity. So tell me something guys, anything, I'm just too confused and I need to hear advice or whatever from anyone.

I'm not really sure what to say, besides "Don't kill yourself". I want to say something else, but I can't think of anything. Life may suck at times, but that happens to everyone. Some just have it worse than others. I don't know what caused whatever happened to you, but don't kill yourself. I know that this sounds really retarded, but it does get better. There has to be SOMETHING in life that makes you happy. Do whatever you think can heal the pain, besides hurting orkilling yourself or something else. I must sound like an idiot, but don't kill yourself.

I don't know if you've killed yourself yet, but I thought of a good reason to live, and it's sort of the opposite of the most common answer. Even if EVERY SINGLE THING in my life sucked, and everyone WANTED me to commit suicide, I would stay alive to defy those people. Every time you really think it's going to happen, just think of the smug faces on the bastards who urged you to kill yourself. Some people actually take pride in that. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing (or at least thinking) that they pushed someone to the point of suicide.

Find a solution, I understand life is hard for you right now but you shouldn't give up.

Don't do it. Think happy thoughts. When you see someone you know, think about how they would feel if you killed yourself. You would be ending your unhappiness by making everyone who knows you feel angry, confused, and hurt, probably in a similar way to how you feel now.

By the way your posts read, you seem to be a highly intelligent person. The world needs highly intelligent people. You are angry because other people seem to be more successful than you, yet you feel that you deserve to be more successful than them. That's okay. Its a little self-centered fantasy that everyone has. Think of life as a game of Pac-Man (I know, bad metaphor). Its probably unlikely that you'll be in the high scores, no matter how many quarters you put in, but it sure is dumb to put in your quarter, intentionally run into a ghost, and walk away.

You sound like you're looking for answers. You think that you should be more successful than you are, but you aren't. You feel confused and don't know what the answer is. You wonder if killing yourself, or killing others (as shown by your previous post) is the answer. The reason why you do poorly in school is not because you aren't able to do well, but because you think its pointless to try. Same goes for talking to your parents. You should probably go talk to a therapist the same way that you post on Newgrounds, because they an help you better than some random person on the internet.

Don't be so cynical. Brighten up! You've got your whole life ahead of you.

At 2/20/08 05:53 PM, Xavon wrote:

At 2/20/08 05:33 PM, Corky-D wrote: Oh, so you want to upset your parents?

And don´t give me that "I hate them anyway" crap.

I haven't talked to my parents in almost 4 years for various reasons, regardless of the fact that I live with them. I live with my mother, grandpa, and brother; I don't really care what they'd think about it.

At 2/20/08 05:34 PM, PinkBeer wrote: You dont live in Bridgend by any chance? Haha.

Only joking. In all seriousness, you are clearly depressed. Get yourself to a doctor, he will prescribe yous some anti-depressants who will make you a very happy bunny. I knew someone just like you, and its all good now.

Obviously I am depressed, I'm diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression, I've had anti-depressants, they've never really helped me too much.

At 2/20/08 05:34 PM, Psycho wrote: And how the hell is suicide going to make any of that better?

I never said it would; but in reality it would make all of it better considering the fact that I wouldn't exist anymore.

At 2/20/08 05:35 PM, Electric-Bla wrote: Only two more years and you're out mate. There has to be at least one cool job that you know of and then you can just relax and get things straight. You should try and pick up some new friends as well, go places, be out in the sun. And for god's sake, see a counselor, they'll help you through the last years and then you'll be free.

I've considered counseling and getting a professional psychiatric test done recently, but I dunno.

Don't do it, I know how you feel, I've been there lately.
Don't do it.

Who knows.

At 2/20/08 05:36 PM, Ragnarokia wrote: You do not know about me, believe me, you are ok. Either that or I am overdue.

I'm far from alright, I'm quite past the point of being normal.

At 2/20/08 05:36 PM, AcidSoldier wrote: Don't, please don't. I'm quite sensative and when it comes to people doing stuff like this, it just hurts inside. Please, try and sort your problems. The feelings are just normal, everyone gets them at some point. Please, just don't do it.

I've had two of my uncles commit suicide and my grandmother and mother attempted it, one of my uncles took his girlfriend with him. I guess it just runs in my blood.

I'm glad you're so caring about the subject, I've had these suicidal thoughts since 5th grade though and they've reoccurred too many times to count. I don't know if I'd have the balls to do it now that I'm trying to think a little, even if I had the tools right in front of me.

At 2/20/08 05:38 PM, ripoffhitman wrote: I think I see your problem. You want attention more than anything,

You're quite judgmental, it must be fun to live ignorantly you're entire life; is it?

anyone who takes killing people seriosly wouldn't write, "and if you want to be an idiot, i'll kill ya".

I said if they were going to be an idiot they should kill themselves before I beat them to it, meaning before I kill myself. Try interpreting human speech a little better.

Your just another pansy, that thinks the world is after them, and right now you think you know your current state.

Okay, you can believe this about me if you wish.

Your current state is whining about life, not some logical phase of life, no offense, but stop itching for attention, and maybe you won't feel like crap when people don't take you seriosly.

You're just another reason why I'm ashamed to be part of this pathetic human race, people like you don't deserve to exist on this earth.

At 2/20/08 05:42 PM, camobch0 wrote: I have seen so many of these dumb little attention threads, I don't even give a shit, and nor does anyone else.

Maybe you should stop to think that some people aren't looking for attention and that they actually do have problems, eh? Then the rest of the world won't see you as such an ignorant, pathetic waste of flesh.

I'm sorry to hear it runs in your family. but would you rather change that and be happy for a long time (if you're still in school then it sounds like you have a lot of life ahead of you), or would you rather die? You gotta fight those emotions, if they try to block you from doing something then tell them to fuck off. You are your own boss, don't mere sadness (feelings, chemicals, that's all) control you.

If you kill yourself then you'll just be another drone, another useless being were didn't die with a purpose. Do you want that? Do you want to live, to find what you need to do, the change the world for the better, even in small ways. Because you can. Your depression will try to stop you, but just ignore it. Face it, you could be a lot worse off. If you think your life's hard now then you should try living in a third world country.
Live. DO NOT commit suicide. You need to live. Live not only for us but for the world because every little little thing helps, and you fighting through your depression will be much more then a little thing.. So live. I promise you can change the world.

Everyone Says they would kill themselves if they had the opportunity or they would kill other ppl, stupid shit like that. In reality though you wouldn't be able to, you wouldn't have the balls. If you wanted to kill yourself, you would have by now. Depression is mostly in your mind... the more you Think that way.. the more 'depressed' you're going to be.

less emo fucking teens kthx.

At 3/4/08 08:43 PM, RadioactiveRabbit wrote:

At 2/20/08 05:34 PM, Psycho wrote: And how the hell is suicide going to make any of that better?

Ending it.

By what? Starting new problems with his family (Depression, etc.)? By being a coward and shooting yourself by not dealing with his own problems face-to-face.

We have a word for those people;

Pussies.

At 3/4/08 09:14 PM, Orange-Jews wrote: Everyone Says they would kill themselves if they had the opportunity or they would kill other ppl, stupid shit like that. In reality though you wouldn't be able to, you wouldn't have the balls. If you wanted to kill yourself, you would have by now. Depression is mostly in your mind... the more you Think that way.. the more 'depressed' you're going to be.

Everyone says it, though you seem to be in the delusion that nobody would even if they had the chance. That's not the case, obviously, considering many people would do it.

less emo fucking teens kthx.

I can tell you're quite mature.

At 3/4/08 09:16 PM, SockMyDink wrote: By what? Starting new problems with his family (Depression, etc.)? By being a coward and shooting yourself by not dealing with his own problems face-to-face.

You also seem to be in the delusion that everyone who resorts to suicide has ignored all of his/her problems and has done nothing to try and change them. I've personally been dealing with anxiety and depression, as I stated before, since around 5th grade. When you live almost half your life, at this age, rarely being able to experience happiness all because you got unlucky with the genes and the chemicals in your brain are imbalanced really takes a toll on your mentality every new year you deal with it. I've gotten over a lot of problems, learned to cope with some issues, trained myself to be a little hardened, made my own methods of dealing with problems, and depression can still find ways to pry at me for weeks; interfering with school, my social life, and my relationships.

We have a word for those people;

Pussies.

Let's see you live the life I live and then call people with real psychological disorders pussies. I don't even have it the worst, maybe you would have a better time living inside the mind of a schizophrenic. I consider myself a bigger man then you for staying alive regardless of how many times I have thoughts of suicide, and regardless of how straining the stress on my brain gets. It mentally exhausts you to the point where you can't enjoy anything, you don't want to do anything and you don't want to see anyone. You just want to sit there and sleep, or just idle, you don't want to eat or drink; you just want to be alone while the thoughts swarm around you and devour who you used to be, and then it leaves you born again as an empty shell.

Really, grow up and learn the facts. Stop being a prick, you ignorant douche.

At 3/4/08 09:50 PM, Eggys wrote: Stupid emo kid, thinking suicide is a good decision

Who ever said I thought it was a good decision?

Maybe you shouldn't be as ignorant as the quoted person above you.

Xavon. kill yourself before you kill others.

...................is for pussies

At 3/4/08 11:46 PM, GrammerNaziElite wrote: Xavon. kill yourself before you kill others.

You've become one of the people I'm living for.

This is suspicious....

I've been on the BBS for not too long, but during my stay, I've come to realize you as one of the "nice" users.
I think you're cool from what I know of you, and I don't think you should kill yourself.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and I know there must be something out there worth living for.

At 3/5/08 12:10 AM, Spaghetti14 wrote: I've been on the BBS for not too long, but during my stay, I've come to realize you as one of the "nice" users.

I'm hardly nice, I hate practically 95% of the BBS users due to their constant ignorance and just outright stupidity. This place sucks, my only motivation for staying on the BBS is the hope that I'll scare off at least some of the newfags and teach a few more people how to be decent posters.

At 3/5/08 12:12 AM, Xavon wrote:

I'm hardly nice, I hate practically 95% of the BBS users due to their constant ignorance and just outright stupidity. This place sucks, my only motivation for staying on the BBS is the hope that I'll scare off at least some of the newfags and teach a few more people how to be decent posters.

Now THAT is motivation!

At 3/5/08 12:12 AM, Xavon wrote: I'm hardly nice, I hate practically 95% of the BBS users due to their constant ignorance and just outright stupidity. This place sucks, my only motivation for staying on the BBS is the hope that I'll scare off at least some of the newfags and teach a few more people how to be decent posters.

Nevermind then...
Sorry.

At 3/4/08 11:53 PM, Xavon wrote:

At 3/4/08 11:46 PM, GrammerNaziElite wrote: Xavon. kill yourself before you kill others.

You've become one of the people I'm living for.

Did you take my advice, or figure that out on your own? Either way, Nice choice.

At 2/20/08 05:31 PM, Xavon wrote: If I killed myself, what would the big deal be?

Your parents wouldn't want to clean up your dead body.

EEEEWWWW

Life may seem overrated...which it can be but suicide isn't the answer

I've thought about it before but i couldn't do it cause of the after-effects it can hav...

Suicide can cause more problems for u than u know...and just think when we find out the Apocalypse is coming we'll all be as depressed as you(not being mean-stating fact)

At 3/5/08 05:30 PM, Koopa-Dude94 wrote:

At 3/4/08 11:53 PM, Xavon wrote:

At 3/4/08 11:46 PM, GrammerNaziElite wrote: Xavon. kill yourself before you kill others.

You've become one of the people I'm living for.

Did you take my advice, or figure that out on your own? Either way, Nice choice.

Both I guess.

GNE is a funny guy, he makes me smile when he tries to insult me. Brings me up a little bit.

Thanks GrammarNaziNinja.

"Suicide." I thought. As I sat at the edge of my bed with only the soft glow of my computer screen to draw s faint outline of my Beretta 9mm I complated my life. "Unpopular, low grades, no friends (real ones at least), never been in love, parents never home, who cares if I die?" It seemed so simple, one pull to end all this frustation, sadness, in essence, all the bullshit in my life. I looked at the gun, after a brief pause, I decided my fate. As I raised the gun to my head I started to sweat, yet this felt right. As the cold steel touched my temple, the world around me went quite and suddenly I felt cold. I closed my eyes as my finger took the slack out of the trigger. I heard the gun click, I heard the hammer swing down, then I heard myself say "is it worth it?" As I thought I heard the bullet start to screech its way down the barrel I saw my life flash before me. "No" I said aloud as I felt a sharp pain sink into my head. I though I was dead. I opened my eyes to see a tiled white ceiling, hundreds of flowers around me and my girlfriend asleep next to my bed. I was in the hospital."Shit" I thought to myself. I gently poked Stacy and she woke to a slight jerk and then she gasped as she saw me look into her eyes. I asked her what had happened and she said that I slipped and hit my head on my nightstand. "Oh" I said softly. "But" she said, at the verge of tears "that not what happened is it?" At that exact moment a tear drop landed on the palm of my hand and I suddenly felt the same coldness I did as with the gun. "I found you with you gun in your hand" she said. "I thought you were dead." Her voice trailed off. "But then I noticed blood on the nightstand and I was the gash on your head. The best I can figure is that you passed out" She was trying to hold back tears and as I looked into her eyes, I suddenly realized that suicide is not the simple. Over the next couple of days we talked about what happened and agreed the the truth was between us.

Point is, I was extremely lucky that I forgot to load the chamber that night. I truely belive I have a second lease on life and I live it to the fullest. Every time I hear no I am reminded of what almost happened and I know from experince, sucide is not the awnser.

(This is an e-mail form Austin, my girlfriend's little sisters' boyfriend on his experice with suicide. He is now the most energtic, happiest guy I know. He is a suicide counceler and if you want his number to talk to him PM me and I'll give it to you.)

or...

1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

I know my opinion doesn't really matter, nor will it change your mind, but just don't do it. Everyone goes through hard times, be they long or short. It's very possible everyone's had suicidal thoughts before. It doesn't necessarily mean we all WANT to, but it's been in the back of the mind as a "what if...". I really do understand you when you say you've given up on life and don't care; I've been in that state of mind many times, but it passes. If you seek help, you'll thank yourself in the future.

I really can't explain it any better than any other serious person on this thread, as they've already posted it. All I can really say is to look for a doctor if your thoughts reoccur this often. In the meantime, play some Halo or Counter-Strike and blow the shit out of things to relieve stress. :D

And to all the pussies who think they're cool saying shit like "attention seeker" and "just do it", I'm glad you've got the balls to type something online to someone you don't know.

At 3/5/08 09:24 PM, Xavon wrote:

At 3/5/08 05:30 PM, Koopa-Dude94 wrote:

At 3/4/08 11:53 PM, Xavon wrote:

At 3/4/08 11:46 PM, GrammerNaziElite wrote: Xavon. kill yourself before you kill others.

You've become one of the people I'm living for.

Did you take my advice, or figure that out on your own? Either way, Nice choice.

Both I guess.

GNE is a funny guy, he makes me smile when he tries to insult me. Brings me up a little bit.

Thanks GrammarNaziNinja.

So...Posting this on Newgrounds was actually a really good choice. Some posters will taunt and mock you, others will try to help you. It's sort of a gamble, in a way. Some bastard posting "Do it, we'll all be happy" doesn't really seem like something that could push you over the edge, but you never know. All i know is, I'm glad you didn't do it. Yet. Are you still thinking about it? Anyway, I'm glad you found something you can enjoy.

That was probably the most poetic post I've ever made. Is that good or bad?

Ive thought about suicide before youll eventually go back to normal and youll realize what a dumbass you were hell i thought about suicide 6 or 7 times last year

At 3/4/08 08:43 PM, RadioactiveRabbit wrote:

At 2/20/08 05:34 PM, Psycho wrote: And how the hell is suicide going to make any of that better?

Ending it.

Although suicide may end all the pain/problems (even though they're short-lived), you'd be stuck burning for the rest of eternity with the guilt of knowing that you caused the people you're connected with much more pain through your extremely selfish actions. Just remember, there's always someone who cares.

GNE is a funny guy, he makes me smile when he tries to insult me. Brings me up a little bit.

Thanks GrammarNaziNinja.

No problem, but i seriously think you should consider that it is your mental incompetence that is leading you to believe you need to kill others.

I don't want to insult you, and i hate the idea of suicide, but it's the humanitarian thing to do if you plan on killing others.

If you find a way to deal with your disability without any casualties, then by all means, use it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with suicide. If you don't want to live, then don't. Make room in the already overpopulated world for people that actually have the will to live.

However, if you decide you want to live, then it's worth it. If not, eh, go ahead and off yourself. In reality, nobody can do anything about it.

Think of all the people who hate you and live on to spite them. >;D Who says a vengeful nature can't be used in a positive fashion.