Today is a day unlike any other day, because today is the day that the internet gathers around the fire, and all suck my e-dick.
If you're not sure what wwwyzzerdd day is, allow me to give you a brief history lesson.
Back in 362 AD, a group of nomadic warriors set out on a quest to conquer what is now present day Iowa. Along their way, they encountered dragons, cyborgs, and the Wolfen. But through the power of will and teamwork (along with anabolic steroids), they conquered all foes that stood in their way. However, they were soon surprised to learn that the treasure that they searched for was not in Iowa, but it was symbolically in their hearts the whole time. They raped an entire village of women and children the next day out of anger. This day is now known as Saint Valentines day; but that fucker is totally taking away from my spotlight, so fuck him. Jackass.
So pretty much I'm the shit, and Tom Fulp even announced it, therefore it's totally true. So today, I paid off the moderators*, and everything is totally cool for this day only, so have fun.
* warning- I did actually pay them, and that's not a lie at all so make sure you break multiple rules
Apparently, the day was founded to celebrate my terrible graphic skills, repetitive use of the angry emoticon, and my utter dickishness towards others. So today, everyone should basically post asinine comments, shitty photoshops (don't even bother photoshopping anything, just MS Paint a big veiny cock on a picture), and just be an utter annoyance.
Well I hope you all enjoy my day of celebration; I'm now off once again to defend the seven seas from the evildoers of the world; gays and liberals.