Critique my flash

[Firebalt]

This is my movie, not quite ready yet for the portal, i just want some critique so i can make it as good as possible

If your having trouble with the preloader, just right click and press play, im trying to fix it.

Edit: I also noted that the Preloader only advances when you right click and press play as well, im very sorry, i think ill just download a pre made preloader.

http://lachlandavis.deviantart.com/art/A -Day-In-The-Life-Of-A-Jersey-75290245

Ok, my random movie is almost done and i want your opinions. There are some sound FX missing so dont worry about that.

Tell me what you think, consider these questions while whatching and tell me what you think.

What do you like about it? and Vice versa
Which animations really need to be improved?
What could be added?
Does it Flow?
If not, What could help it flow?

And also tell me what you think about the sounds that are in there and the music.

For anyone that does, thanks heaps, and dont be afraid to be harsh. Id really appreciate feedback.

[LostVoices]

coulda sworn ya title had the word Clit in it so dissapointed

[Firebalt]

At 1/22/08 06:23 AM, LostVoices wrote: coulda sworn ya title had the word Clit in it so dissapointed

You could at least be helpful... im not even sure if the movie plays

[LostVoices]

im still loading it
ill be done soon

[Firebalt]

At 1/22/08 06:29 AM, LostVoices wrote: im still loading it
ill be done soon

The preloader loads all the way for me... then wont play, tell me if you get the same problem while i change the preloader

[LostVoices]

no you cant get past the preloader

but

the cows back leg could do with improving
and thats cool
theres something wierd about the dog aswell

[Relish]

To get passed the preloader I just repeatedly right clicked and pressed play.

So far so good, great work, I'd like very much to see the finished product!

[Firebalt]

At 1/22/08 06:36 AM, LostVoices wrote: no you cant get past the preloader

but

the cows back leg could do with improving
and thats cool
theres something wierd about the dog aswell

Thanks, but
How can you see the Dog if you cant get past the preloader?

[LostVoices]

i downloaded it

[Firebalt]

Thanks for the feedback, yeh i wasnt quite happy with the dog, it was a rushed job.

Im deleting the file from Deviant Art and uploading a new one (same link) should be ready in 15 min, this time it should just play once loaded

[Relish]

Okay, I'll be waiting ;)

[iLott]

Nice work, anyway, i didn't like a lot of things. The cow was pretty unrealistic, at least that neck. You have got to fix the way of making a car in some scenes. I like the placing of camera, it reminds me a Waterlollies a lot. I'll look foward for the final piece.

About the frown; i just like the picture.

[Firebalt]

At 1/22/08 06:56 AM, iLott wrote: Nice work, anyway, i didn't like a lot of things. The cow was pretty unrealistic, at least that neck. You have got to fix the way of making a car in some scenes. I like the placing of camera, it reminds me a Waterlollies a lot. I'll look foward for the final piece.

About the frown; i just like the picture.

Thanks, With the cows neck, are you referring to every image, or one particular shot, (theres 3, Front on Side on and Facing away), How could i make it more realistic?

The car, To simple, or just not realistic enough?

[iLott]

At 1/22/08 07:04 AM, Firebalt wrote:
Thanks, With the cows neck, are you referring to every image, or one particular shot, (theres 3, Front on Side on and Facing away), How could i make it more realistic?

Just the cow in the begining. But, maybe it is just your style, let it go.

The car, To simple, or just not realistic enough?

Not realistic enough, make it more prespective, more 3d.

[Firebalt]

At 1/22/08 07:16 AM, iLott wrote:

At 1/22/08 07:04 AM, Firebalt wrote:
Thanks, With the cows neck, are you referring to every image, or one particular shot, (theres 3, Front on Side on and Facing away), How could i make it more realistic?

Just the cow in the begining. But, maybe it is just your style, let it go.

The car, To simple, or just not realistic enough?

Not realistic enough, make it more prespective, more 3d.

With the cow, i know exactly what your talking about, that particular style is called lazyness.
Its tweened, and now that i watch it again, it needs to be animated, so thats something to fix

[Firebalt]

NEW FILE: http://lachlandavis.deviantart.com/art/D ay-In-The-Life-of-a-Cow-75293714

[Skeik-Sprite]

Make the cow with more curves, and possible add more shading to it. It'll make it appear less flat, and it'll blend in more with the environment. The same thing goes with the farmer himself, make his movement less static.

I hope those backgrounds aren't bitmap traced XD

[iLott]

At 1/22/08 07:51 AM, Firebalt wrote: NEW FILE: http://lachlandavis.deviantart.com/art/D ay-In-The-Life-of-a-Cow-75293714

Very nice; but two things to tell: cow in the begining needs to be animated still. The sun reflection in the water at begining will be better if you will blur it. Also you could fix the scene when cow is leaving and the farmer is looking at her ( in background is his house ), that scene needs to be more lifefull, try to improve it with more details or something.

Otherwise, nice work i would vote 4/5 for now. But the average of it wouldn't be as far as 3.6 trust me.

[Slushman]

Hey its pretty good, The start was good with the flowers.. but the flowers could move a little.
What happened to the T that bent down?
And the voice needs to be louder.
This would look good in the portal.

[Firebalt]

Thanks guys. Yeh The cow at the start, needs a real improvement.
As for the sunrise, good suggestion, sorry no animated blurs, im only running Flash MX, all blurs are done in Paint Shop Pro.
Ill try and make the sunflows move.
I did think the scene with the farmer standing as they leave was a bit dull, i think ill have him look down in sorrow or something, maybe add some more background details.
And ill either fix those voices or add some subtitles.

Thank you heaps for your feedback everyone.

As for Bitmap tracing, no, but some of the better seens i did have reference photos.

The sunflower scene on the other hand is actualy my lil ode to an animated film that i love, if anyone can tell me which one, they get a high five.

[Firebalt]

i updtaed the file again