3 men walk into a bar. the bar was empty so they locked all the doors and closed all the curtains. they watched each other nervously take off their clothes. all three men were infertile and dying for pleasure, so they looked around for some syringes. many silent moments later, one found a used heroin needle. they began their plan.
they took off the needle and cut off the tip. then they huddled around the taps. one by one they filled the syringe and injected it into their urethra. one injection was not enough for one full ejaculate, so they did it three times each. everyone was silent. nobody knew what to do next. one gripped a Guinness bottle and tickled another's anus with it. the diabolical sex grew from there. it was chaos. grabbing every cylindrical thing that could fit up their tight orifices. then a squeak was heard.
everybody stopped their thrusting and looked. it was a small mouse. as they veered closer they found a family of three. their dentures glistened as each one picked one up and examined it. they were all babies, and had no teeth or claws. it seemed obvious what to do next. they strapped each one to a broom stick, and took turns sitting down on it going into their deep intestines. after 20 minutes, all the mice were dead, and they have all run out of artificial semen. then they all looked at each other with sorrow, and nodded. they took the dusty musket down from it's hooks at the top of the bar. it was filled with gunpowder, so one took a ball bearing and shoved it in the barrel.
after great anticipation, he put the barrel in his mouth. he pointed it up and jerked the trigger. his eyes went wide and a split second later, he dropped the gun and fell to the ground. but he was not dead. he was on the ground thrashing about like a baby having a tantrum. after 15 minutes, he died from blood loss. the other two were shaken up, looking at their lifeless white friend lay upon the ground, blood still dripping from his mouth. they had to find an easier way. one ran behind the counter and smashed his head on the taps. bashing over and over again, and when the tap broke off, he picked it up and continued to thrash his head with it. his blows became weaker and weaker, until he fell on the ground, still whacking his head. after a while his blows became taps on the head, and expired. the only one left knew there was no turning back now, for he could never live life experiencing this.
he went behind the counter, almost tripping over his two dead friends, and grabbed the hunting knife he knew the bar owner had. as he was about to slit his throat, he remembered how painful it was for his friends, how they died. so he took the blade and rested it against his stomach. his hands trembled as he lifted it up above his head, and with one swift move, lodged the knife into his stomach. he immediately fell to the ground, and went into the fetal position, resting on his head and knees, holding his stomach from the intense pain. his frail voice spoke a prayer, and then fell over on his side, limp.
they were found in the morning by the police. they were unidentifiable, so they were put in the same coffin, and buried without expense, since no one knew who the fellows were. and since the names of the three were unknown, their tombstone said a simple prayer, and "R.I.P" with no names under it. later that night, hooligans broke their tombstone, and painted nazi signs all over the soil they were buried in.
BEST JOKE EVER. DO I WIN?