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The name's John Everyuser.

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AshfordPride
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The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:29 PM Reply

Hows it going?

You probably have heard of me already. I've only been on this site for a little over a month, but I've already got over a hundred posts and am level four. I think I'll be a big part of Newgrounds in the months to come.

Did you guys hear that bigbadron locked the MS Paint Brawl thread? Man, that's a real shame. It was the only funny thread on this forum, y'know? Plus, it wasn't too bad of a way to rack up some easy posts, hehehehe!

I'm a pretty cool dude in real life too. I get in fights sometimes. Sometimes I drink so much that I throw up, and I'm only fourteen! This girl in my geometry class might like me. I'll post more about these things later.

Do you guys watch anime? I love anime. Only the hardcore ones, though. Like Bleach. I'm not really a big fan of cartoons though. Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon have really gone downhill since when I used to watch them as a kid. Family Guy is still great, though.

Do you guys like video games? I do. But none of that kiddy garbage that my little brother plays. I'm all about Halo, GTA, and pretty much any cool game where you can shoot some mofos. I'd consider myself a hardcore gamer. I've been playing video games since the N64.

I can be pretty intelligent if I want to. I'll point out obvious double standards and talk about religion. Hey guys, did you know that religion killed people during the Crusades? Guess it's not so good, huh?

Why am I on the BBS? Well, there are several reasons. I'm really only here to get a high postcount, so that people will think I'm cool, but I also like to talk about stuff. I'll be in your topic, sandwiched between two other generic responses. You probably won't even notice me.

If I was a character in Star Trek, I'd be wearing a red shirt. But that doesn't mean that I don't pretty much dominate this forum.

I'm John Everyuser. And I pretty much run the show here.


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KeeferPie
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:31 PM Reply

I think I seem to be missing something in this situation we have on our hands here..

X-Gary-Gigax-X
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:31 PM Reply

That...was hilarious. =D

The-Omnipresence
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:34 PM Reply

I thought this was going to be a PSA on healthy posting, safe PMing, or what to do when the mod bomb drops.

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:40 PM Reply

Hi John Everyuser, my name is John Eachmember.

I am just like you, only not.

I try to act cool, by disregarding your opinions, even if they are proven with facts. I do this because people will hopefully read my posts and I will become cooler. I have posted as long as you have, but I still wonder I have not been modded.

You like Halo? Halo sucks. You like GTA? GTA sucks. Im so hardcore, only I confirm what's cool.

I'm so cool, I dont even read what I type. Who needs grammar and spelling? Nerds, that's who. It's not like I'll ever need to spell something IN REAL LIFE. This is just a silly forum.

Whatever, I have to go have sex with my 18 year old blue eyed big breasted girlfriend in my mansion while I play my intense video game collection. At the same time.


http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic /777777
http://metaldart.webs.com/ My freewebs website. Check it out dog.
My old NG profile ID: 1321019

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TjA
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:42 PM Reply

What a way to finish '07, by describing everyone whos signed up in that year


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AshfordPride
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:44 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 02:40 PM, MetalDart wrote: Hi John Everyuser, my name is John Eachmember.

O-oh hello...

I am just like you,

Well, that's good. Maybe we could be fr-

only not.

What A!?

I try to act cool, by disregarding your opinions, even if they are proven with facts. I do this because people will hopefully read my posts and I will become cooler. I have posted as long as you have, but I still wonder I have not been modded.

Yeah, I've seen you post. You would make a good mod.

You like Halo? Halo sucks. You like GTA? GTA sucks. Im so hardcore, only I confirm what's cool.

Dude, shuttup. You're wrong. Wriggedy wrong.

I'm so cool, I dont even read what I type. Who needs grammar and spelling? Nerds, that's who. It's not like I'll ever need to spell something IN REAL LIFE. This is just a silly forum.

Yeah, I know. Right? People get all uptight because they can't understand what I'm saying. Well, they can just shove a their'ye ugly.

Whatever, I have to go have sex with my 18 year old blue eyed big breasted girlfriend in my mansion while I play my intense video game collection. At the same time.

Oh man... Who'd you get a girlfriend? I can't...

Y'see... This girl in my class like me... But I'm afraid to talk to her.

Any advice guys? I fear rejection...


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WilliWowza
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:47 PM Reply

HELLO MY NAME IS RONALD REGULAR

I AM BETTER THAN YOU, OBVIOUSLY, NOTE MY BLATANT DISREGARD FOR THE CONVENTIONS OF POSTING BECAUSE I'M SO WELL ESTABLISHED IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I'M BEING SARCASTIC

not caps because i act hardcore but if I got banned i'd probably cry for a bit, i hope i'm a mod one day.

He'd Look Just Like You'd Want Him Too, Some Kind of Slick Chrome American Prince.
Tweet//LastFM//Qwantz//Blog

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MetalDart
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:52 PM Reply

See guys, I didn't even read the original poster's response. All I needed to see is that he quoted me. Even though I've been refreshing the page every minute to see that he would respond, I'm just going to pass over it.

However, I want to increase the intelligencicity of my posts, I will quote his post and edit it to make him stupid.

At 12/31/07 02:44 PM, AshfordPride wrote:
You like Halo? Halo sucks. You like GTA? GTA sucks. Im so hardcore, only I confirm what's cool.
Dude, shuttup. You're wrong. Wriggedy wrong.

You're such a fanboy. You are obviously a clever troll in disguise, you've probably never even played those games. You don't even know what a game is.

Y'see... This girl in my class like me... But I'm afraid to talk to her.
Any advice guys? I fear rejection...

Here's what you do:

HAHA LIKE ID HELP YOU, DEAL WITH YOUR OWN PROBLEMS. EVEN THOUGH I MYSELF AM LYING AND TYPING THIS WHILE I AM CRYING OVER MY OWN PROBLEMS.

At 12/31/07 02:47 PM, WilliWowza wrote: HELLO MY NAME IS RONALD REGULAR

I AM BETTER THAN YOU, OBVIOUSLY, NOTE MY BLATANT DISREGARD FOR THE CONVENTIONS OF POSTING BECAUSE I'M SO WELL ESTABLISHED IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I'M BEING SARCASTIC

You suck, I hate you, even though we've never talked.


http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic /777777
http://metaldart.webs.com/ My freewebs website. Check it out dog.
My old NG profile ID: 1321019

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AshfordPride
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:54 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 02:52 PM, MetalDart wrote: See guys, I didn't even read the original poster's response. All I needed to see is that he quoted me. Even though I've been refreshing the page every minute to see that he would respond, I'm just going to pass over it.

OooooOoOOOOoooooh!

Sooo...

Sooo...

SO COOL!

I CANT EVEN RESPOOOOOOOOOOOND!


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Cyberdevil
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:54 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 02:29 PM, AshfordPride wrote: I'm John Everyuser.

omg! And I always thought you were AshfordPride . . .

Anko
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:55 PM Reply

Psst... I think he's talking about you.


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Metal-Dart
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:56 PM Reply

IM A CLEVER ALT, YOULL NEVER GUESS WHO I AM
HAHA, GO AHEAD, YOULL NEVER KNOW

Jinzoa
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:56 PM Reply

This SO needs to be made into a "what's your newgrounds" flash.

seriously, someone start doing it.

MetalDart
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:58 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 02:56 PM, Metal-Dart wrote: IM A CLEVER ALT, YOULL NEVER GUESS WHO I AM
HAHA, GO AHEAD, YOULL NEVER KNOW

Go away Alt Arnold.
No one knows that you are actually MY alt and that I am using you to gain posts. I am such a clever user. Who would have ever thought of creating TWO accounts?!


http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic /777777
http://metaldart.webs.com/ My freewebs website. Check it out dog.
My old NG profile ID: 1321019

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 02:58 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 02:55 PM, Anko wrote: Psst... I think he's talking about you.

Me? I have an identity, I'm a somebody, I'm unique, I'm abnormal.

LordZeebmork
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:00 PM Reply

Hello, my name is Willy Wi/Ht. I only signed up a month ago, but I try to compensate for that with my stats. I want a Deity whistle, and I spend hours every day looking for abusive reviews and posting them in the Abusive Review Thread. I hate the Kitty Krew because they spam, but I don't really care about the Adolf Hitler series, the Robot Rangers, or any of those other things. I want to help clean up Newgrounds because I really care so much about this place... it helps me compensate for my total lack of a life.

I'm a total attention whore, and I sometimes put the stats that I'm proud of in my sig for everyone to see. I also start internet petitions to try to end the spam, because they will definitely work this time even though they have never worked in the past.

I leave long reviews on spam flashes explaining why the author is a worthless waste of oxygen and not cool at all, then I have a massive fit when my review gets deleted and I throw a raging tantrum at M-Bot because it's a lot easier to blame a computer program than my own stupidity.

I also like to start and join forums, usually anti-spam forums where people like me talk about how they are going to 'stop the spam' singlehandedly or 'be the next Ki1o' even though that is incredibly stupid. I blame mass voting for the spam getting through the portal even though it doesn't actually happen on an effective degree.


wolf piss

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:00 PM Reply

heya guys i am johnny underage!!!!!

u can usually tell who i am meerly by looking at my posts, whos grammer rivels that of a forign posters!!!! i wonder about stuff a lot, like y theirs allways chocolit in my toilit!!!!! my threds r teribble but i think there funny bcuz my friends in the 6th grade think their funny!!!! i think my imature jokes are funny and dont udnerstand why ppl don't like them :(!!! i oftin petishen for 12 and under's rights. this is bcuz i am under 12, you see! even tho i am under 12 i can b very mature for my age and i can defanately talk about mature stuff like girls and video games with the greatest of ease bcuz that is how mature i am lol!!!! i like to pwn n00bz in halo 3 online and have sex with my gf during recess!!! ppl find me obnoxious and i dont no y :(!!!!!!!

expect to see more of my friends this comming (lol, comming) year!!!

AshfordPride
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:02 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 02:58 PM, MetalDart wrote: Who would have ever thought of creating TWO accounts?!

I... Am in the presence... Of a Master of the Internet.

The name's John Everyuser.


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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:04 PM Reply

Hi, my names Meme madison, I like to collect cat pictures while linking my friends to rick roll. Every time I see a photoshop thread I have to make a "shoop-da-whoop." It's just so fucking funny no matter how many times I see it.


Thug lyfe~~

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:09 PM Reply

How tragic for you..

You need to be a girl to score real points on here buddy.


[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:12 PM Reply

Hi there! My name is John PictureIt

You'll know when I'm around if you see a generic picture from Google posted by yours truly that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic.

Sometimes I'll go on 4chan and whore out every silly little picture I can find. "You gon get raped" and "step away from the internet" are just some of my many favorites. Hilarity will ensue once I post the picture with a few choice words like "lol" or "brought the lolz"

The fun never ends when I'm in the thread. And hey, neither do my post counts :)

The name's John Everyuser.


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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:13 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 03:07 PM, Tyrant12 wrote: Hi I'm the Melancholy Mope-about.

I write long stories about how my life is so much worse than yours, I'm the only kid with problems and I express my opinion weakly in fear of rejection. On the forums I act like a normal person although in real life I'm actually quite withdrawn from society and I reflect that within my stories.

I don't understand when users do not recognize me because I make a thread every day and even have 500 post, how could you not recognize me? I feel overlooked and sometimes I wonder why I even exist.

I shouldn't of even wrote this, none of you listen anyway.

lol fuck u emo fag go die in a fire!! (i don't even know what an emo is, nor do i realise that emo bashing arent funny nemore!!!) i'm not gonna read ur post bcuz OBVIUSLY i'm more intellagent than u!! i think u need 2 go kill urself cuz emos are stupid fukkin liberel pansies!! as you can planely see, i reflect my parents politacle right leanings bcuz i don't know about stuff yet!!

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:16 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 03:16 PM, Grubby wrote: Why didn't you include Call of Duty 4 when he was talking about shooting stuff?

It's way more popular than Halo 3 now :)

call of duty 4 sux cuz it dosnt have master cheif the best hero ever!

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:17 PM Reply

Hello, I'm Felicia Female. I get so much attention due to the fact that I put my account as female, even though I might just be lying. No matter how much my posts scream mediocrity, everyone worships me. My PM box is filled to the brim with mail from horny 13 year olds asking for tits, and comments left on my userpage are the same also.

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:22 PM Reply

Hold on there, I need to look for insignificant grammatical errors to invalidate your point, but not until I misinterpret the obvious sarcasm of this topic and make a wild assumption about our penis size and/or social life.

Yours Truly,
Jane Everyuser

ALSO, TOO LONG; DIDN'T READ

NOT CAPS...OH WAIT

A Bedtime Tale | 1 | 2 | 3 |

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:23 PM Reply

Hey John Everyuser, my name is Cedric Oldmember.

I was around during the early days of Newgrounds, before the update, so I'm fairly confident I know more than you.

I spend most of my time posting just like you, only with better grammar and flawless logic.

I will take an hour or two out of my day to look back on how the BBS used to be funny, but how it's not anymore. I'll typically hate you for being part of the un-funny movement.

Me and a couple other friends of mine will make topics using old jokes that you've likely never heard of, so don't bother posting in them. If you do, you'll just get confused.

My name is Cedric Olduser, and if you haven't already guessed, I fucking hate you already.

AshfordPride
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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:25 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 03:23 PM, CryogenChaos wrote: Me and a couple other friends of mine will make topics using old jokes that you've likely never heard of, so don't bother posting in them. If you do, you'll just get confused.

Oh, don't worry! I'll just ask what you guys are talking about. Even if it's a chain post. Especially if it's a chain post.


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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:25 PM Reply

Hi, I'm Oliver Offtopic, and I really think that we should start talking about religion right about now. I have a very well-thought theory of everything I came up with on philosphy 1 class, and everyone who doesn't agree with me is an idiot.


I don't take revenue from my profile.
TV Tropes Wiki

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Response to The name's John Everyuser. Dec. 31st, 2007 @ 03:27 PM Reply

At 12/31/07 03:25 PM, JohnnyWang wrote: Hi, I'm Oliver Offtopic, and I really think that we should start talking about religion right about now. I have a very well-thought theory of everything I came up with on philosphy 1 class, and everyone who doesn't agree with me is an idiot.

fuck u noob u dont no wut ur talking about. jesus created and loves u and u need to agree with what i say if u want 2 be saved

if you havent noticed by now, no one pays attention to me except to flame me, but i jump on the coattails of any topic i fancy!