Funny Arse Jokes

[SavageSquirrel]

Well, this is just a thread were you can post any jokes you know or whatever. I know it's done before, but people get mad for reviving topics you know, so, I guess I'll start it off. Some of you probably know where this is from. A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Naw, thats a short one. Okay, so there was a doctor, a lawyer, a priest, a boyscout, and of course a pilot all on a crashing plane. There were only 4 parachutes to divide between the 5 of them. The pilot said, "Well, I fly airplanes and make sure important people can get where they need to be, so I need to take a parachute." He grabs a pack and jumps out. The doctor says, "I save peoples lives," and then he jumps out as well. The lawyer says, "I'm the smartest man in the world," and he too jumps out. Then the priest says to the boyscout, "It's okay son, I've lived a long, good life serving my lord, you may take the last parachute." Then the boyscout looks around, laughs, and says, "It's okay father, we can each have our own parachute. The smartest man in the world just took my backpack." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

[SavageSquirrel]

Oops, I didn't see the topic before mine, "Catholic Priest Joke," forget about that first joke I told. So just tell your own jokes or whatever, critisize mine if you want to. I know, it was a stupid joke, so post better ones.

[SavageSquirrel]

Alright, I'll continue being a pitiful fewel and tell another joke to myself. So there was this guy who was at the hospital waiting while he knew his wife was going through labor. He knew that the nine months were finally about up. At times it was a little tough to take care of his wife, but he knew that now it would all be worth it. He couldn't wait to go inside an see his newborn son. Finally a doctor came out and told him to come inside. He walked in and saw his wife sitting there on the bed and she looked happier than ever. Her face was covered in tears of joy. He returned a very big smile to her and walked over and held her hand. There was a nurse approching them with a little bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. He couldn't wait to help him grow up, to teach him baseball, to help him through his homework, to teach him how to ride a bike, to congradulate him on graduation, and all the other joys that were sure to come. Then when he could nearly see his oby, the nurse grabbed the baby by the feet, swung it around her head several times and smashed it against the wall. Everyone in the room recoiled in terror and looked at her, dumbfounded. The nurse looked at them all and said, "HAHA! It was dead already!"

[ChinezeKid]

^
Ok, this thread author has just replied to himself not one, but two times. I think that's very normal.... *rolls eyes*

[SavageSquirrel]

Well, you know what they say. The third time's the charm. A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

[Spike-J-Wolfwood]

1:A guy is in a bar telling his friend that all lawyers are assholes. A guy walks up to them and says “I take great offence to that!” the first guy asks “Are you a lawyer” to which he replies “No, I’m an asshole.”

2: A priest a pedofile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that’s just the first guy..............

[iscrulz]

This farmer is driving his truck and he has a hen, rooster and a donkey. The truck breaks down and he waves some people down the donkey wnder away a bit and had a itch so the farmer says to the people hold my cock and pullit while I go scratch my ass.

[iscrulz]

Heres another one.
If you know embaress, MN (not spellt corektly) How did that town get its name. This pioneer was traveling the road and sees a woman laying a clam and he says em bare ass.

[night-raider]

A man walks into a bar and hurts his head.

[SavageSquirrel]

Inside joke between me and pimpdaddy_shockwave. How do you know when there is a kitten behind you? IT RUBS UP ON THE BACK OF YOUR LEG!

[Spike-J-Wolfwood]

Q : How is spinach like anal sex?
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A : If you were forced to have it as a kid you’re going to hate it as an adult.