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Ridiculously restricted superpowers

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AapoJoki
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Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:13 AM Reply

In this topic, we think of cool, amazing superpowers, and then make restrictions for them that are so absurd and strict that it kind of defeats the entire purpose of having a superpower.

First one: you can move at lightspeed. However, you can only travel at lightspeed for 100 meters per year. For instance, you could do one 100m teleportation, or else ten mini-teleports, each being 10 meters long, every year. Once you've used up the entire 100 meters of lightspeed travelling, you'll have to wait till new year's day.

What would you do with a single 100m lightspeed spurt each year? Try to win in the Olympics? Well, good luck trying to qualify for them, if you're intending to save the spurt for the finals. They don't accumulate, either, so you can't just wait 4 years and run 400m that year... it's 100m per year, period.

Second one: flying. Only a couple of inches above ground, though, and not longer than 30 seconds. After that, you'll feel dead exhausted, as if you'd just run a marathon. This might be useful if you're trying to cross a minefield, though. Just keep hoping the minefield isn't too large, so you don't run out of strength and drop down in the middle. This might be a nice skill to spook people out though, just like travelling a short distance in lightspeed.

I've got one more. Three super punches. This would be a tremendously fierce punch, an undercut so powerful that it would shoot an elephant onto the orbit of Jupiter. That's the catch, though, you only get three. For your entire life. You'll have many sleepless nights trying to think how to use them. Do you want to murder someone you hate? Well, the police will come after you, and once you've used all 3, they'll be able to arrest you easily. You might as well buy a gun to kill someone, so you can save all 3 punches for the cops, but even then, the 4th cop will catch you anyway. On the other hand, using this punch would dispose of the body easily, so you might get away with it if there are no eye witnesses. But only three times.

What if you've only just discovered you can do super punches, and you don't know how they work yet, so you decide to do a few test punches... well, tough shit, now you've used all three.

Gunter45
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:17 AM Reply

Great topic.

Here's one. You get super hearing, but everything close by is so loud that it physically hurts. Therefore, using it renders you incapacitated, effectively disallowing you from using it for anything other than hurting yourself.


Think you're pretty clever...

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insanity-muffin
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:21 AM Reply

The power to own Newgrounds.
.
.
.
I mean, fuck.

Duffi
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:22 AM Reply

Yes, indeed a good topic.

Superior Endurance
Nothing will kill you. Bullets and blades alike will glance of from your manly body. But it hurts like a bitch. Even the slightest tickle will make you cry, immobilizing you. Getting hit won't kill you, but it will leave you crying for hours.

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:23 AM Reply

At 11/26/07 10:21 AM, insanity-muffin wrote: The power to own Newgrounds.

TOM FULP already does own it.

insanity-muffin
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:24 AM Reply

At 11/26/07 10:19 AM, doberman7 wrote: What happens if you turn into this?

Move the drawings out of the way, idk what you'd be turning into with all that stupid shit in the way

insanity-muffin
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:26 AM Reply

At 11/26/07 10:23 AM, doberman7 wrote:
At 11/26/07 10:21 AM, insanity-muffin wrote: The power to own Newgrounds.
TOM FULP already does own it.

I don't think you understand.

Doberman
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 10:26 AM Reply

At 11/26/07 10:24 AM, insanity-muffin wrote: Move the drawings out of the way, idk what you'd be turning into with all that stupid shit in the way

Also, No offence if you do have shitty typing, but try putting in "I dont know" rather than IDK.

Also, what do you mean by stupid shit? Its only a picture from a photoshop thread, I see nothing more in the way.

+1 post to a alt, and grammar post.
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 11:05 AM Reply

You can jump extreamly high

Sad thing there's no way to stop and you'll probably burn up when you reach a certain speed, as you accelerate with some thousand miles an hour for every second

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 11:37 AM Reply

The power of extreme intelligence, the type that would make you smarter than any man who's ever lived, but for every minute you use it, you will live one year less than you normally would.

Should you use it to pass school and get top marks so you be set for life, only to die a few years after you turn 20, or should you conserve it and only use it when you really need to?

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 11:44 AM Reply

This is great.

Zeromus
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 11:46 AM Reply

You can fly but only for 15 seconds at a time.

Zerok
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 11:49 AM Reply

The power to breathe underwater like a fish, but it only works if you're completely still.


Zerok blog: PM me if you like music | My (retired) webcomic: Pizza For Guys

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 11:49 AM Reply

You can turn invisible, but only when nobody's looking at you.

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:00 PM Reply

Weather control; except you can use it once a year, and whatever weather you choose will last the whole year, untill then, the area of effect is its own bubble where it either rains or shines for a whole year. Really, the only way to win is not to play.

Precognition, seeing the future, but you can only see five seconds of your future, from your eyes an ears.

Regeneration, you can heal fleshwounds and rebuild bones, but you risk getting cancer (I mean, your cells regenerate pretty fast...) every time. The risk is higher the more you have to regenerate.


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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:02 PM Reply

I've got another. Super strength but you can only lift as much weight as you've eaten carrots. For example, if you at 200kg or carrots you'd be able to lift one item that was 200kg, and after that you'd go back to having normal strength. So it's like carrots increases strength points, and lifting things takes them away, until you're at zero.

What would you do? Eat carrots all day? Would you just eat a few carrots a day and save up your super strength? But then you wouldn't know when to use it, because if you didn't use it wisely you'd have to eat more carrots.

BTW, cool thread idea
iateamexican
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:03 PM Reply

Your invincible, but only if your not in a life threatening situation.


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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:04 PM Reply

The abilty to shrink but not being able to grow again.

I would just go down to about being borrower size
and probably be eaten by a cat.
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:05 PM Reply

At 11/26/07 11:49 AM, Objection wrote: You can turn invisible, but only when nobody's looking at you.

Would be userful for getting past security cameras that are just taped. Unless the effect goes away the moment you're focussed on.


Zerok blog: PM me if you like music | My (retired) webcomic: Pizza For Guys

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:07 PM Reply

You are the ruler of a huge superpower, but if you do anything the people don't like, then the power gets taken away from you.

Democracy, what the fuck is that about?


Give my thoughts form and make them look insightful.

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:09 PM Reply

At 11/26/07 11:37 AM, Insert-Pie wrote: Should you use it to pass school and get top marks so you be set for life, only to die a few years after you turn 20, or should you conserve it and only use it when you really need to?

Invent a immortality vaccine.

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:11 PM Reply

At 11/26/07 12:09 PM, Mind-Edge wrote:
At 11/26/07 11:37 AM, Insert-Pie wrote: Should you use it to pass school and get top marks so you be set for life, only to die a few years after you turn 20, or should you conserve it and only use it when you really need to?
Invent a immortality vaccine.

Touché

although, if it took you too long, you'd probably die.
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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:11 PM Reply

At 11/26/07 11:49 AM, Objection wrote: You can turn invisible, but only when nobody's looking at you.

I "lol"ed

The ability to play great music but only when noone is listening?


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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:13 PM Reply

You could turn into a werewolf, but; only when Mars is in the smae quadrant of the solar system as earth. That happens every few decades.

The power to stay young, but you will die earlier.

Unprecise teleportation, you can decide the location, and you will teleport within a few meters to it. The catch? The few meters away could be down. or inside a wall, or if you try to play safe and teleport into the air, it could go even higher.

Teleportation via changing places with the person closest to your desired location. So basicly you could go anywhere on earth, but you can't know who you'll change places with, and what they were doing at the moment.

Super smelling. That doesn't turn off. Full stop.


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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:13 PM Reply

You have an awesome memory at age ten, but each time you try to remember something, you lose your first memory, and the second time you use it, you lose your second memory, etc. etc.

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:15 PM Reply

At 11/26/07 12:11 PM, ClockworkTrashcan wrote: The ability to play great music but only when noone is listening?

Could it be recorded? Off course, I could just amuse myself with it.

Also, define no-one listening, no-one activly listening, or no-one hearing it, because the latter would be a problem, and do animals count?


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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:18 PM Reply

The power to travel time. Unfortunately you have no ability to halt the time travel once you start it so you either travel to the end of time where you die with the rest of the universe or you go to the very beginning where your presence alters the conditions that gave rise to the universe and you negate your timeline and yourself.


Happy with what you have to be happy with
you have to be happy with what you have
to be happy with you have to be happy with what you have

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:20 PM Reply

X-ray vision. You'll be able to see through anything. But if and only if you're standing upside down on one hand while singing the national anthem of Vatican City in C minor.


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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:22 PM Reply

Imagine the power to shoot searing beams out of your eyes. That's right, heat vision! Now imagine the state of your eyes after using that power just once. Ouch.

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Response to Ridiculously restricted superpowers Nov. 26th, 2007 @ 12:23 PM Reply

At 11/26/07 12:15 PM, JohnnyWang wrote:
At 11/26/07 12:11 PM, ClockworkTrashcan wrote: The ability to play great music but only when noone is listening?
Could it be recorded? Off course, I could just amuse myself with it.

Also, define no-one listening, no-one activly listening, or no-one hearing it, because the latter would be a problem, and do animals count?

Well I suppose you can record it, but music is stupid if you can't have life shows.


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