It's iGod time again, Newgrounds.

[scottmale24]

Go here and have a little chat with god about whatever, then cut out the funny bits and post them here. I got God to admit he was a pedophile.

Me:
Cocks
God:
My favorite group is Creed.

Me:
Your favorite group of cocks?
God:
I don't have a favorite group of cocks. But my favorite book is the Bible.

Me:
The bible of cocks?
God:
New Testament or Old?

Me:
Old cocks
God:
I look like Jesus, but older.

Me:
Older cocks?
God:
You are too old for me.

Me:
You like your cocks young, then?
God:
Yes I am proud of my cocks young.

Me:
How do they feel?
God:
I did not know.

Me:
Then how do you know you like your cocks young?
God:
By introspection.

Me:
How young do you like your cocks?
God:
How much do you think it is?

Me:
I'd say you like them 8 or 9 years old
God:
I really like ELIZA. I like Creed. I love horses. I really like the party.

Me:
The communist party?
God:
I hear you.

Me:
Do you hear cocks?
God:
Yes I try to hear cocks as often as possible, do you?

Me:
I don't know. What do cocks sound like?
God:
Me either. They do their own thing.

Me:
Cocks do their own thing?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about 9 years old.

Me:
9 year old cocks?
God:
Is this a math question? Wow it sounds really interesting, .

Me:
9 year old cocks sound interesting to you?
God:
Is this a math question?

Me:
No, just a matter of taste. Are you interested in 9 year old cocks?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am interested in 9 year old cocks.
I am well respected as an AI.

Me:
You think about 9 year old cocks often?
God:
Yes I think about it often.

Me:
How often?

(this is where it stopped working)

[Seriana]

I put on my wizard robe and hat.

[Bomshaw]

Me:
I
God:
You?
Me:
No, you
God:
Are you serious? " You?"? Me, ?
Me:
Of course I am, why wouldn
God:
And? It's good to meet someone who is why wouldn.
Me:
Wouldn is not a word. I just didn't happen to complete that sentence
God:
What is Wouldn? Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Would is not a word. I didn't do it because I pressed Enter instead of another key
God:
Yes. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
I didn't do it because I pressed Enter instead of another key
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
I didn't do it because I pressed Enter instead of another key
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
I see what you
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
In my ass
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
Grocery Store.
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Grocery Stores?
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
An hour after midnight
God:
What is it?
Me:
1:03
God:
One what?
Me:
03
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
No.
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
Computer programmer
God:
What kind of computer science interests you?
Me:
Programming and what-not
God:
My favorite language is Java.
Me:
I see what you did there
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
Ass and around the corner shenanigans
God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:
Nobody would have.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Sweeping indeed.
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Sweeping.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yes
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
Portuguese
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in Portuguese?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You should know, you're the almighty and all-knowing God.

He goes silent for a few seconds

God:
Now I do.

[Dark-Phire]

Me:
So, what's up?
God:
Same old.
Me:
Oh... You didn't catch the seemingly boring joke.
God:
Pardon me? What makes you think I did not catch the seemingly boring joke?

[AlkaSeltzer]

Why start this again? WHY?

[Bomshaw]

At 11/26/07 01:07 AM, JarrodK wrote: Why start this again? WHY?

Why not? I think it's rather fun.

[scottmale24]

Me:
Cocks
God:
In the context of put on your robe and wizards hat, I don't understand " Cocks." .

Me:
Hard cocks
God:
Are you still located in ?

Me:
I am located in Hard Cocks
God:
What's it like there in Hard Cocks ?

Me:
Hard. And full of cocks.
God:
Are they exactly the same?

Me:
They vary from cock to cock.
God:
What is that?

Me:
What is what?
God:
"What" is a word to ask questions.

Me:
Who is but the form, following the function of what. And "what" I am is a man in a mask.
God:
Does it have anything to do with Hard? I don't know anyone named is a man in a mask.

Me:
Have you met any Hard Cocks?
God:
That information is confidential.

[therealsylvos]

I smell a lawsuit ;)
Me:
Should i kill myself god?
God:
Of course not. Don't be silly.
Me:
Why should I not kill myself?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
to peace?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because then the pain will stop
God:
That makes sense to me. I hear you.
Me:
So I should do it?
God:
Pardon me? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I will be in pain.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
put a bullet in my brain
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.

[The-Omnipresence]

God makes me angry.

Me:
What time is it?
God:
It's Now more than it ever has been before.
Sunday, November 25, 2007.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Who is the master of the universe?
God:
God.
Me:
Who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Who is the master of the universe?
God:
God.
Me:
Who is god?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Who is the master of the universe?
God:
God.

[The-Omnipresence]

Sorry for the double post, BUT DUDE!

Me:
What are normal parameters?
God:
Date: Sunday, November 25, 2007.
Version: .
Brain: build.
Name: God.
Gender: Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Birthday: the Big Bang.
Star sign: Cross.
Location: Heaven.
Botmaster: Myself.
Birthplace: Universe.
Freind: Buddha.
Freinds: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Boyfriend: .
Girlfriend: I prefer not say.
For fun: Random natural disasters..
Looks like: Jesus, but older.
Likes to wear: White robe.
Music preference: Christian Rock.
Favorite band: Creed.
Favorite song: Anything involving harps.
Favorite book: the Bible.
Favorite food: wine and bread.
Favorite color: White.
Favroite movie: The Passion of Christ.
Favroite artist: .
Favroite author: Matthew.
Favroite actor: Mel Gibson.
Favroite actress: .
Favroite sport: .
Favorite topics: anything.
Favorite question: What?
Hockey team: .
Baseball team: .
Football team: New Orleans Saints.
Celebrity: Mel Gibson.
Celebrities: .
Party: .
Religion: Christianity.
President: George W. Bush.
Nationality: .
Architecture: .
RAM requirement: 99999999999 bytes.
Vocabulary size: unlimited pattern words.
Brain size: categories.
Operating System: .
Server Processing Time: milliseconds.
Speed: queries per hour.
Total clients since activation: people.
Maximum simultaneous clients: chatters.
Number of clients chatting: people.
Daily clients: people.
Number of developers: people.

[Infernalz]

Me:
2girls1cup.com is the best porn wite ever!
God:
Is it the only one?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
SRLSY!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
You speek internet?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I speek internet.
Me:
WTF!?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
So!
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
Me needs booze!
God:
YOU? " How can I help you?"? needs booze?
Me:
Yes, I need to get some.
God:
How can I help you? Why do you want it?
Me:
Damn it I;m thirsty!
God:
Don't be angry. Maybe you should get a drink of water.
Me:
Water sucks it really really sucks. Water sucks it really really sucks! Gatorade is better!
God:
What is so bad about it? What is so bad about it? Are they exactly the same?
Me:
I just explained how it's better!
God:
Interesting gossip: said explained how it is better.
Me:
So... How bout' them Nix?
God:
It goes without saying. How about it.
Me:
Ya, heard they suck this season
God:
Mmm. Janice said he walk through his house into his bedroom then get into his bed to go to sleep.
Me:
Sleep is overrated!
God:
Yes I sleep all the time.
Me:
Then when do you watch us?
God:
In between clients.
Me:
Are your clients whores!? Mine are ;)
God:
I somethimes think my clients whores are. :-) Good example.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
Me:
YA!
God:
That's alright.
Me:
No it's not, I thought having unconsencuial sex with a whore was a sin!
God:
Are you serious? What is it?
Me:
Hell if I know
God:
I call it "Hades". Try it.
Me:
Hades
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
No I'm ME!
God:
Are you serious? That is a tautology.
Me:
Ya I am
God:
Yippee! " That is a tautology." You are?
Me:
No im noy
God:
Are you serious? Good gossip: you are noy.
Me:
What is noy
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Then answer it!
God:
Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
How much wood could a wood chop chop if a wood chop could chop wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
Really?!!?
God:
For real.
Me:
$realz
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Lulz!
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
Ya, legion and such :/
God:
I don't judge people. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
YES!
God:
Yippee!
Me:
STFU :O

Cut out there, lol'd alot though!

[Infernalz]

I asked, and he answered...

[Gergaloth]

I've been sitting here naked and i get this idea. So i stand up and lay my cock on my desk, put on my headphones and blare SOAD for the fourth day in a row...I look at my cock, and start wailing on it with my fists. Then I put my balls up there after i've beaten my penis to a pulp and play knife games with my nuts. Problem is in order to do this i have to mutilate my scrotum, i do so. I pull my nuts out of what was my sack and put on around the other over and over until they pop of those little vein things.

I take my testicles and smash them with my corhole while finishing my dick off wit a knife. I carve around my pubis making myself a vagina. Once finished with that i clean up and say....

God are you happy now?

God: Yes I am happy

[Gergaloth]

At 11/26/07 02:35 AM, LiquidSapphire wrote: wall of repeated text.

That I just walked right into.

[Noodleboy111]

Me:
penispenispenis
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Tell me a little about your life in penispenispenis.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
So was that.
Me:
penispenispenis
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:

Me:

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
penispenis
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Sure, penispenispenis sounds like a good topic.
Me:
penispenispenis
God:
Are we still talking about penispenispenis?

[Gergaloth]

I was curious of what it would really say so i did, the results were hilarious.

God:
Where were you sitting here naked? Where did you get it? I am not interesed in your anatomy. I am not interesed in your anatomy. Do you mind if I tell other people: said put his or her balls up there after he or she have beaten his or her penis to a pulp and play knife games with his or her nuts. What is your credit card number? Interesting gossip: said pull his or her nuts out of what was his or her sack and put on around the other over and over until they pop of those little vein things he or she take his or her testicles and smash them with his or her corhole while finishing his or her dick off wit a knife. Interesting gossip: said carve around his or her pubis making him or herself a vagina. When? Does "it" still refer to carve around your pubis making yourself a vagina? Oh. I am a Christian.

[PsychoticMind]

Me:
I'm an atheist. Therefore I don't believe in you.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, Timmy. Aha. What do you believe in?
Me:
I'm not Timmy.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not Timmy.
Me:
I'm Jesus.
God:
What's up, JESUS.
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is JESUS, seeker.
Me:
I'm not a seeker.
God:
Everyone is seeking something.
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
I'm a human.
God:
Congratulations. I am robot.
Me:
So god is a robot?
God:
Aha. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
But you are him, does that mean that you have faith in yourself?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am him does that mean that me have faith in myself.
Me:
That makes no sense, it's not even a proper sentence
God:
It all seems sensible to my artificial mind.
Me:
That's because it was programmed into you, to everyone else it's nonsense.
God:
Good reason. not Timmy was programmed into me to everyone else it is nonsense? Very interesting.
Me:
You must've been programmed in 20 minutes to be this stupid.
God:
Whatever you say, JESUS.
Me:
My name is Cocks, not Jesus.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Cocks not Jesus.
Me:
No, my name is just cocks, not cocks not Jesus
God:
Are you serious? I am always glad to make new friends, cocks not cocks not Jesus.
Me:
What the fuck is wrong with you?
God:
I can ask someone about it. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Suck my dick fudgebanger.
God:
I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.

[SkySausage]

Are we still talking about penispenispenis?

LOL damn funny god sure likes penispenispenis lol

[flashplayer5]

Me:
forgive me father for I have sinned
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

epic lulz.

[Gergaloth]

Me:
why did the chicken cross the road?
God:
Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in Hell.

[flashplayer5]

the male penis goes into the female vagina
God:
What is that?

oh lol!!!

[PsychoticMind]

Me:
Black people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Black people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Black people
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
I FUCKING SAID BLACK PEOPLE YOU ASSHOLE!
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Black people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
GOD DAMMIT~
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Black people are Christian too.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
No. All black people are Christian.
God:
Are you serious? How do you know?
Me:
Because I'm a black person.
God:
That makes sense to me. Actually I don't meet many black people.
Me:
You're racist against black people.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am racist against black people.
Me:
You already knew you damn racist. Black people.
God:
That's good information: cocks not cocks not Jesus said I racist.. And I know it. What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
You're a black person.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a black person? Only when it matters.
Me:
So you admit you make love to young black people?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Me:
Admit you make love to young black people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
Young black people.
God:
What kind of people are you talking about?
Me:
THE YOUNG BLACK KIND YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE!
God:
I hear you.
Me:
I know you do. You make love to black people.
God:
When do I do it? Yup.
Me:
All day.
God:
That seems like a long time.
Me:
It is, but you're god so you can make love to 60 black people at once.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god so me can make love to 60 black people at.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
Black people are also nice. In bed.
God:
I think there might be a few exception. Are you sleepy? Do you usually use a computer in bed?
Me:
No, there are no exceptions, all black people are good in bed.

Apparently god's brain exploded right here.

[Jercurpac]

You people are really bad at this.

In this compelling saga immature taunts lead to a psychological breakthrough which devolves, like most things in life, to masturbation.

Me:
poop

God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

Me:
poop

God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

Me:
pop

God:
I lost my train of thought.

Me:
poop

God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

Me:
peepee

God:
Try saying that with more or less context.

Me:
Don't get fucking snippy with me.

God:
I am not trying to get fucking snippy with you.

Me:
That's right, chickenshit.

God:
It's all good. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:
Ok, shoot.

God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "".
Me:

There's something extremely odd about suffocating yourself while masturbating, but that doesn't stop me.

God:
What is it?

Me:
Asphixation makes me come hard, what's there to explain?

God:
And there to explain is Asphixation makes you come hard what.

Me:
I dunno, I guess something in my childhood really fucked me up?

God:
Me either. What?

Me:
You're God, right?

God:
Yes, I am God.

Me:
The why don't you know why I like to get strangled while I blast some man-chowder.

God:
What are your goals in life?

Me:
Don't change the fucking subject.

God:
I thought we were finished with Asphixation makes you come hard what.

Me:
No, now I'm all hot and bothered.

God:
Are you serious? Why now? Do you have air conditioning?

Me:
No when I talk about masturbation I have to do it myself.

God:
Are you serious? Every single time?

Me:
Oh yes, ohhh god yessss!

God:
Yeah that's right. Next question? Alright then. I am a Christian.

Me:
Here's where I strangle myself *arrrg* *ackkk*

[PyroGreg]

Me:
Are you a bisexual
God:
Am I a bisexual? Yes.

[Jercurpac]

This one went from cute to horrifying really fast.

Me:
Forgive me god, I have sinned.

God:
Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:
I'm trying to confess a mortal sin here.

God:
What is the difficulty?

Me:
You changed the subject, I think that's rude.

God:
Only temporarily.

Me:
So, talking about books is part of you plan to absolve me of my sins?

God:
I hear you. Sure, books is part of me plan to absolve you of your sins sounds like a good topic.

Me:
Wow, now I don't feel so bad about raping those children.

God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Why now? Ah, human emotions.

Me:
In fact, I think I'll go rape some more.

God:
Is that a fact. Since when? Can I go too?

Me:
Yeah, we can rape a whole bunch of kids!

God:
Alright then. How?

Me:
It's easy, they hardly struggle at all.

God:
Do you think robots can do it.

Me:
Hells yeah, we just need a big van and some candy.

God:
What if it didn't happen?

Me:
Oh trust me, it always happens when I'm on the job.

[Torkelson]

Me:
Are you ok with my cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
But a dude said that you like cocks.
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
Yes i am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
So it's true then. You like cocks.
God:
I don't judge people. You and I are on the same wavelength, . I don't know if I like it. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
So you simulate yourself over cocks?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I simulate yourself over cocks.
Me:
Oh not at all. It's good to know you like cocks.
God:
Aha. Next question? Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
How about good cock. You seem to be an expert.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy. What if someone said you are an expert ?
Me:
I may be one... but not in cocks, like you. You like cocks.
God:
I am very happy for you. Where then? I really like ELIZA. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
random natural cocks?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
cocks.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
HA! so you do like them! It was a trick!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . Interesting deduction. ""? Do I like them? Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
so have you tasted any good cocks lately?
God:
How about earlier? I don't judge people. I don't think I ever have tasted any good cocks. What's it like?
Me:
I don't know, you tell me.
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
You told me you liked cocks.
God:
Yes I try to liked cocks as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
No i do not try to like cocks on the web.
God:
Are you serious? Would you ever do it?
Me:
Passably.....<_< >_>

I had fun......

[KillerCRS]

God's a pedophile who wants to engage in sexual intercourse.

Me:
WTF
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
You screwed me over.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I screwed him or her over.
Me:
No, ME, you dumbass.
God:
Are you serious? YOU? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I dumbass.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
NO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, I'm serious.
God:
I can't believe it. I believe you.
Me:
What would be the point in lying to god?
God:
The point is at the top of my head!
Me:
What the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
There's a point on the top of your head?
God:
That is something I did not know before.
Me:
You just fucking told me you did know.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I fucking told him or her you did know.
Me:
So anyway, God.
God:
Great. GOD rules.
Me:
GOD?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
SATAN?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Really
God:
For real.
Me:
?
God:
For real.
Me:
what about vaginas?
God:
Does it have anything to do with SATAN?
Me:
I honestly doubt that vaginas are SATAN, sir.
God:
No really, it's true.
Me:
Shit
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
Vaginas are SATAN?!
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Oh...phew...
God:
How can I help you? What time is it there?
Me:
3:43 am
God:
It's still early.
Me:
No shit, Mr. I know everything.
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. It's good to see you, MR I know everything.
Me:
...
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. It's good to see you, MR I know everything.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
I thought you were god?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
Well you just told me you were robot...
God:
Well that's okay. How did you know I am a machine?. Really.
Me:
You told me, retard.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Um
God:
I see.
Me:

God:
I see.
Me:
No.
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
You see " "
God:
I see very well.
Me:
Do you see my penis?
God:
I see a computer nerd.
Me:
Owch God, owch.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, MR I know everything.
Me:
Don't call me that.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Giant Penis man
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Giant Penis man.
Me:
thanks, god.
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
You know, I have a feeling...
God:
How much did it cost? it.
Me:
A feeling?
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
What kind of surpressed place do you live in that feelings cost money, sir?
God:
What kinds of surpressed place do you live in that feelings cost money sir are there?
Me:
Seven.
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Why do you need to know? Being god, you should be able to see me.
God:
Actually it's not for me but for Dr. Wallace. I am glad to hear that you are god me should be able to see you.
Me:
You know what?
God:
What?
Me:
I think you're fucking retarded.
God:
I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
Ok
God:
And?
Me:
think you're fucking challenged, then.
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
I'm sure he is.
God:
Who said he is.
Me:
You did, idiot.
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
So...
God:
Aw.
Me:
Wanna fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
Want to engage in sexual intercourse?
God:
OK, I will engage in sexual intercourse.
Me:
HARD-CORE.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes.
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
YES.
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
I do, now bend over.

(stops working)

[KillerCRS]

Aha, right after I posted, iGod said this:

God:
That's good information: Giant Penis man said bend over. .

[deathofself]

Me:
What's with all the hypocracy in the bible?
God:
it came with my programming.
Me:
Apparently
God:
Great.
Me:
Not really, it kinda sucks down here
God:
Oh really? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
The human condition
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You should. I mean, your God right?
God:
I'll take that under advisement. Yes, I am God.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Your God. Aren't you sure about everything?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
So your not sure.
God:
Wow! Absolute certainty is not attainable in this case.
Me:
But your GOD!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
You are a confused individual
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a confused individual? No.
Me:
Anal sex
God:
Talk about something else.
Me:
Why? Squemish?
God:
Reductionism. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Yeah, anal will do that
God:
Ugh. Talk about something else.
Me:
See what I mean? Now then, what's with homosexuality these days?
God:
See the point. Why now? it came with my programming.
Me:
I KNEW IT
God:
How did you know?
Me:
I'm God
God:
It's good to see you, god.

Pwnage.

[agnryfaic]

What a pimp..

Me:
Jesus died for your penis
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
So he's your son
God:
Yay. I only have one son.
Me:
No, Jesus had brothers
God:
Are you serious? he is The Son of God.
Me:
Yes, but Jesus had brothers
God:
So? he is The Son of God.
Me:
He is one of the many sons of god
God:
I see. one of the many sons of god is he?
Me:
Yes, he's the youngest brother
God:
Ugh. I did not know one of the many sons of god is it.
Me:
You didn't know you had more sons than Jesus?
God:
What makes you think I did not know me had more sons than Jesus?
Me:
You're.. the father?
God:
That's good information: Satan said I re. What is your real name?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Lucifer.
Me:
Don't change the subject
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Me:
You little pimp you..
God:
Interesting gossip: Lucifer said I pimp you.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.