Hello. I have three short sketches available for my comedy podcast, http://LaughAtMeRadio.podbean.com
Grandmother: I'm so excited that you'd agree to bring me with. I know we haven't been exactly close over the years.
Grandson: That's okay, grandma, it's never too late to forge a relationship. Especially with family.
Grandmother: Look at you. So well spoken for a high school student.
Grandmother: So it's after midnight. We're in the bushes. Now when is this supernatural event supposed to happen?
Grandson: Right about now. I think I hear some people coming.
Grandmother: Are they singing? What are you doing? You're putting on a werewolf costume?
Grandson: With this type of thing you never know what's going to happen. You've got to be prepared.
Grandmother: Did you pack me a werewolf costume too?
Grandson: I didn't. Next time. I'll be right back.
Grandmother: Well, how scary. Oh what's this? Four very drunk college aged kids are about to get into their car. My grandson runs up in his werewolf costume. The kids scream and run off. My grandson is in their car. Oh. Now he's coming back.
Grandson: It's our lucky day. They had a bunch of cds, a couple of books I've been meaning to read, and one of them left their purse. Woah. There's $200 in here.
Grandmother: So you're the supernatural event?
Grandson: No. Well sort of. The supernatural event is getting all this great stuff. You're proud of me, aren't you?
Grandmother: Your father rejected a life in crime and became a doctor. That is my biggest disapointment in life. Grandson, you're like the son that I always wanted.
Grandson: Don't cry. I just want to make you happy. You deserve it.
Writing Teacher: Male
Teacher's Pet: Female
Writing Teacher: Okay class. Here's a writing prompt for you. A page-long story. You'll have ten minutes. The prompt is "Why did my wife leave me?"
Teacher's Pet: But sir. You gave us that prompt last class.
Writing Teacher: Are you sure? Absolutely sure?
Teacher's Pet: Sir, I can understand why you don't remember. You were pretty drunk at the time.
Writing Teacher: That sounds like me. Well, I guess I better come up with a different writing prompt.
Writing Teacher: Okay class. Here's your writing prompt. "Why am I attracted to my students?"
Teacher's Pet: I'm sorry, sir, but we've already done that prompt too.
Writing Teacher: We did? I hate not being prepared for class. I'm sorry.
Writing Teacher: Okay class. Here's a writing prompt. "Is there a woman out there who'd agree to marry me and who'd also be cool with me sleeping with my students?
Teacher's Pet: Sir.
Writing Teacher: What?! We already did that writing prompt too?
Teacher's Pet: We didn't. I'd agree to that. With you.
Writing Teacher: You would?
Writing Teacher: Okay class. Here's a new writing prompt. "How can a recently-divorced teacher afford a wedding at the last second?"
Teacher's Pet: We can use my church's basement. And it's close to campus. It's the Jehovah Witness church.
Writing Teacher: Okay class. Here's a new writing prompt. "If I technically didn't propose to my student with a freaky religion then do I have to marry her?"
Cube Dweller One: Female
Cube Dweller Two: Male
Cube Dweller One: I told you. You can't look at me when you talk to me.
Cube Dweller Two: Why? That's crazy.
Cube Dweller One: It's not crazy. It's my religion. It is written that no single man may talk to a single woman in the face. It's not proper. It is not done.
Cube Dweller Two: So how am I supposed to talk to you?
Cube Dweller One: You may stand behind me and talk to the back of my head.
Cube Dweller Two: I can't do that.
Cube Dweller One: And why not?
Cube Dweller Two: My religion says it is forbidden to not look at a person's face when talking to another person. We can't even use cell phones.
Cube Dweller One: Why?
Cube Dweller Two: My religion says that it's more important to look a person in the chin than it is to look them in the eye. The chin is the window to the soul.
Cube Dweller One: You can speak to my chin if you stand behind me. I can turn my head a little bit.
Cube Dweller Two: Oh, yes, I like that.
Cube Dweller One: Now what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?
Cube Dewller Two: Gosh, I feel bad saying this, especially after we seem to have hit it off.
Cube Dweller One: It's okay. Just say it. I don't mind.
Cube Dweller Two: It's hard for me to sit next to you. Oh. How do I say this? It's your perfume. You smell like a dead person. I'm sorry! I didn't how else to say it.
Cube Dweller One: Oh that's okay. In my religion we are required to live with our ancestors.
Cube Dweller Two: I don't understand.
Cube Dweller One: In my house there are the corpses of five of my dead relatives. The smell is just something that I have gotten used to.
Cube Dweller Two: I guess it's true when they say that no religion is the same. I guess I'll just wear nose plugs to work.
Cube Dweller One: Consider yourself lucky, because nose plugs are forbidden in my religion.
Deadline: Sooner the better. For each role I go with whichever voice actress or voice actor submits their lines first...90% of the time.
Where to send the lines: email@example.com
Kinds of sound files to send: MP3s only.