So I need two voice actors who would be willing to try to act as Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. My new flash is about the Oscars this year. The script is funny if I do say so myself. Please PM me if you are interested. The script is below.
Title: That Darn Steve Martin!
(Typewriter Style: Temporary Abode of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin (Beat) 02.07.10, 11:47pm (Beat) 1Month Before Oscars)
(Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin are both writing jokes for the Oscars in relative silence, then)
Steve (snickering): Heh (Beat) Hehe, hey Alec.
Alec (Still writing): Yeah Steve?
Steve: How about this one? (Slides paper over, Alec reads)
Alec (muttering): Of course, Vera instantly realized why they all call him... (clear) Haha! George Luny! That's gold Steve! Pure fuckin' gold! But wait... wait wait wait (Beat) Steve what do you think of this? (Slides paper over, Steve reads, then laughs)
Steve (amused): Haha! Depp was as mad as a hatter when he heard he wasn't invited! That's cute Alec.
Alec (grateful): Hey, I try.
Steve: You know, we've come up with a couple of good ones tonight Alec.
Alec: Steve, I think we've come up with MORE than a couple. This routine will have'em in stitches.
Steve: Man, great idea to have two hosts this year! I'm feeling really good about this.
Alec: I.. I have to agree. This is fantastic. (Looks at watch) Oh boy, but it's getting late. Let's call it a night, shall we?
Steve: Sounds good. Same time tomorrow?
Alec: It's a date! (Beat) (They catch each other's eye and slowing point at each other jokingly)
Alec (deep, drawn out): yeah...
(Typewriter Style: Bed of Steve Martin (Beat) 02.08.10, 2:34am)
(Steve is sleeping in his bed, tustling)
Steve (slight incoherently in his dreaming): Damn Mirren (Beat, more coherently) Hitler! (more coherently, but still sleeping) Jews (Beat) Hollywood (Beat, shouts the last word, waking up) Mother Lode!
(Steve Martin in a dark living room, throwing paper into the fireplace, giggling to himself. Alec Baldwin opens the door)
Alec (slowly): Steve?
Steve (casually): Oh hey Alec!
Alec: What the hell are you doing up? It's almost four in the morning!
Steve (distantly): Just makin' a fire...
Alec: Steve, I-wait (beat) Is that... (outraged) Is that our routine you're burning!?
Steve (cheerfully): Yup! (Sees Alec's reaction) Oh don't worry, I wrote another one. I thought some of the jokes in the last draft were a bit meh, so I decided to ditch it and throw another routine together. Here take a look. (Baldwin takes the script and skims through it)
Alec: Steve... 75% of these jokes are gay jokes directed at US.
Steve (condescending): Yes Alec, it's called a theme.
Alec (exasperated): Fine but, all the other jokes are backhanded compliments to Hitler and Nazis... With more compliment than backhand! And... born a poor black baby... Steve, Gabourey (Gab-or-ray) wasn't even born when "The Jerk" came out! It's just gonna seem racist to her! How the hell are we going to pull this off?
Steve (fatherly): Alec, you worry too much, it'll be great... Trust me.
(Typewriter Style: Academy Awards (Beat) 03.08.10 12:00am)
(Steve and Alec are on stage near the end of the Oscars)
Alec: Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's official. The Academy is broke from going 30 minutes overtime tonight. (Audience Laughter) Haha! Not a joke! (Audience Laughter)
Steve: See Alec, I told you everything would work out with the new script.
Alec: Steve, Tom Hanks still has to announce Best Picture and that'll take like 10 minutes or more
Tom Hanks(off-screen): It's hurt locker!
(Alec and Steve look off-screen, then Alec looks back)
Alec (Shrugging): Okay!