The Golden Compass Can Suck It.

[hammerhead84]

You've all undoubtedly have seen the trailer for the movie, "The Golden Compass". This movie is the biggest fucking cliche in the 2007 Lineup.

1. Having a little girl be "the chosen one" who has some special talent to read a compass. Fuck me sideways with a BEER BOTTLE (and no barrel roll). This is one of the biggest cliches in movies today because if a boy is chosen, the 50 year old, dried up, divorce cases will complain that it's anti-feminist.

2. Epic mythical battle. This whole story line involves animals that can talk, and mythical creatures. This would be fine if it hadn't been done this many times. The Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, all have the SAME THING. Not only that, but it's a war between them. We then have such things as Beowulf and what with 300 having alot of success.

3. Girl comes from different world. Can you say, "The Wizard of OZ rip off?"

4. The girl gains a newfound courage and is just the fucking leader of the pack now isn't she. Just makes me wanna get up there and hand her a medal. Then take it away and kick her in the Yaz (I'll let you decide what Yaz means).

Discuss. What do you think about the movie?

[Paladinman]

gay kids movie. kids are stupid and dont notice these things.

[RacistBassist]

Bitch Bitch Whine Moan

[Ass-Crumb]

At 11/21/07 12:08 AM, hammerhead84 wrote: take it away and kick her in the Yaz (I'll let you decide what Yaz means).

Vagina maybe?

Anyways, I'd agree, but I haven't really seen any previews, but I already know it's a Narnia rip-off. If you want info, I'm sure you can just go to IMDB or something.

[hammerhead84]

At 11/21/07 12:12 AM, Ass-Crumb wrote:

At 11/21/07 12:08 AM, hammerhead84 wrote: take it away and kick her in the Yaz (I'll let you decide what Yaz means).

Vagina maybe?

Cookie for you.

[Knights]

Originallity is a rare treasure indeed.

[Dema-The-Hedgehog]

when i saw the trailer i said "wow they should call it: overdone stupid ass cliche movie

[willparry79]

I don't know how the movie will turn out, but the books were the best I've ever read in my life. And I'm a pretty well-read guy. Asimov, Michael Crichton, Dean Coonts, all the classic authors; hell reading's what I do. I can't really say that I'm looking forward to the movie either, they kindof leave out the part where the catholic church and God are evil and the kids kill God and stuff. It's actually a pretty good trilogy, the whole trilogy is called His Dark Materials and it's by Phillip Pullman, so if you don't have anything better to do why not give it a read? You just may like it.

[Bolo]

The difference is, this one has lots of Atheism in it, whereas The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe had lots of Christianity.

[Serphyas]

Read the book series instead, "His Dark Materials." The movie looks terrible, but the books are phenomenal.

[AlkaSeltzer]

I may sound like a nerd but there were no talking animals in harry potter or LOTR, unless you count the eagles. But yeah you're right on every other point.

[Serphyas]

At 11/21/07 12:08 AM, hammerhead84 wrote: 3. Girl comes from different world. Can you say, "The Wizard of OZ rip off?"

By the way, she doesn't come from a different world.

[urbn]

At 11/21/07 12:12 AM, Ass-Crumb wrote: Vagina maybe?

Ovaries is probably better though...

[Lucy]

I would like to see that movie, something intrigues me about it.

[Acti]

loLolOl??????????
Man are you sick or something?

[Xx-Hoxinator-xX]

i havnt seen 1 movie based on a book that is actually better than the book. the LOTR movies are probly the best ones ive seen.

[Tri-Nitro-Toluene]

You do realise that if you boil everything down to it's component parts then NOTHING is original. Hell it's possible to look at EVERY STORY EVER TOLD and say there are actually only 7 basic plots. SO saying ' OMG THIS SUCKS IS SOOOOO CLICHE' based solely on the basic plot, ignoring the setting, ignoring the charachters etc is stupid.

Now allow me to elabourate:

At 11/21/07 12:08 AM, hammerhead84 wrote: 1. Having a little girl be "the chosen one" who has some special talent to read a compass. Fuck me sideways with a BEER BOTTLE (and no barrel roll). This is one of the biggest cliches in movies today because if a boy is chosen, the 50 year old, dried up, divorce cases will complain that it's anti-feminist.

You clearly haven't read the books. In the 2nd one the focus shifts off Lyra and onto a male lead. The reason for this is that the book has a whole kind of ' reverse genesis' thing going in it, in which Lyra and the boy ( Will?) are effectively Adam and Eve. So why is the lead character female in the golden compass? Because in the story the author decided that as he was having an anti-religion rant, he'd use a female as the lead because throughout the history of religion women have been repressed so there is a sense of bitter irony if it's a woman that is responsible in some way for the death of God. Plus you have the whole kind of reversal of Adam and eve with the introducing of the female before the male as well.

2. Epic mythical battle. This whole story line involves animals that can talk, and mythical creatures. This would be fine if it hadn't been done this many times. The Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, all have the SAME THING. Not only that, but it's a war between them. We then have such things as Beowulf and what with 300 having alot of success.

In which case Zulu is also a cliche because it has a battle in it! Seriously dude, just because there's a battle in a film doesn't make it a rip off. It's a standard plot point in most fantasy stories. Much like I said there are only a set number of basic plots, different genres can be broken down into so many set characteristics that define it, epic battles just happens to be one of them for the fantasy genre.

And once again you show a distinct lack of knowledge of the books. Most the talking animals in the film and the book are what are known as Daemons, which are essentially the souls of people that take animals form to best represent their character. Granted there are giant fighting polar bears that talk, but as I said, juxtaposition of the mundane is what defines the genre. It's fantasy after all.

3. Girl comes from different world. Can you say, "The Wizard of OZ rip off?"

She isn't from a different world. At least not in the books.

4. The girl gains a newfound courage and is just the fucking leader of the pack now isn't she. Just makes me wanna get up there and hand her a medal. Then take it away and kick her in the Yaz (I'll let you decide what Yaz means).

It's called character development. It's actually what happens in real life. People get put in life or death situation and they either break and die or they get brave and fight back. Now which makes a better story?

[Diggadu]

At 11/21/07 12:16 AM, dema-the-hedgehog wrote: when i saw the trailer i said "wow they should call it: overdone stupid ass cliche movie

I´m thinking of making a comedy can I use that name please? pm me since I have a real problem finding old threads.

[JohnnyWang]

At 11/21/07 04:56 AM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: Now allow me to elabourate:

Seconded, signed and stamped.

Also OP is a twat.

[JohnnyWang]

At 11/21/07 06:53 AM, JohnnyWang wrote:

At 11/21/07 04:56 AM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: Now allow me to elabourate:

Seconded, signed and stamped.

Also OP is a twat.

Also, female lead? Besides Alias and Buffy I can't name any. Talking animals? Well, the original book (incorrectly marketted as a kids book, because the protagonist is a kid) is basicly Anti-Narnia, the talking animals are a part of that, and where exactly in harry Potter is there talking animals (or epic battles for that part?). Also, you've apparently never heard of character develepoment.

[Shaun]

Yeah it sounds pretty pathetic. So many of these movies lately trying to grab money off the popularity of better movies.
its getting old, no one wants to see your shitty movie.
we are all waiting for the Harry Potter movies!!

[Ansel]

At 11/21/07 04:13 AM, Serphyas wrote: Read the book series instead, "His Dark Materials." The movie looks terrible, but the books are phenomenal.

I'm glad you've actually read the books.
Is anyone else even aware that it's a movie adaption of the first book in a famous trilogy? The books are amazing, by the way. The plot really is fairly complicated, but for a movie they dumb it down considerably, so all the 6-year-olds who see it won't have to worry about Dust and original sin and God. Hell, in the last book, they KILLED GOD. Just opened his little glass case, and he dissipated into so many little atoms. If they make movies of the other two, I would bet money that they cut out that part.

[masterchief2888]

At 11/21/07 07:08 AM, madknt wrote: Yeah it sounds pretty pathetic. So many of these movies lately trying to grab money off the popularity of better movies.
its getting old, no one wants to see your shitty movie.
we are all waiting for the Harry Potter movies!!

LOL and besides all that the girls stupid british accent is so annoying.....I have nothing against the british but god that little girl has a thick annoying accent.

[Cosmonautical]

They also put decent effects in. What a fucking cliché that is! Why do blockbuster films always have to have effects to make all of the fantastic action seem real?

Seriously, stop whining. Films like that are made because they're successful.
If it works, keep doing it and making millions. Makes sense.

[thomtomw]

At 11/21/07 08:59 AM, JunkyCow wrote: Hell, in the last book, they KILLED GOD.

thanks for ruining that for me then.

[xthesnarfx]

I know that it's a book first so maybe the book is a lot better. But I've tried to stop jugding kids movies. If you think about it a bet that all the older kids said crap about your favorite movies when you were young.

[Pyrowman]

All movies are cliche, c'mon, name one movie that's been made the last 10 years that is totally original...

[fuckallatheists]

Discuss. What do you think about the movie?

what do u expect it fantasy hardtard

[RedDreadSky]

At 11/21/07 12:08 AM, hammerhead84 wrote: You've all undoubtedly have seen the trailer for the movie, "The Golden Compass". This movie is the biggest fucking cliche in the 2007 Lineup.

The book was good. Also, don't say it was unoriginal, it was before Harry Potter, and all that crap. It was around Narnia's time.

1. Having a little girl be "the chosen one" who has some special talent to read a compass. Fuck me sideways with a BEER BOTTLE (and no barrel roll). This is one of the biggest cliches in movies today because if a boy is chosen, the 50 year old, dried up, divorce cases will complain that it's anti-feminist.

It made it better in the book, where they actually explained that she made sense of the pictures, not just seeing glowy stuff form pictures.

2. Epic mythical battle. This whole story line involves animals that can talk, and mythical creatures. This would be fine if it hadn't been done this many times. The Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, all have the SAME THING. Not only that, but it's a war between them. We then have such things as Beowulf and what with 300 having alot of success.

What the hell, I see no epic mythical battle here. I see a girl escaping girls, and a small battle against weirds warrior dudes. The plotline didn't remotely revolve around this battle. No war, just a small skirmish.

3. Girl comes from different world. Can you say, "The Wizard of OZ rip off?"

No she doesn't she's from the same fucking planet as everyone else. Did you even watch the movie?

4. The girl gains a newfound courage and is just the fucking leader of the pack now isn't she. Just makes me wanna get up there and hand her a medal. Then take it away and kick her in the Yaz (I'll let you decide what Yaz means).

The only reason I'm giving the movie the benefit of the doubt is because the book was much better. They did a good job on the movie, considering most movies made from books suck more ass than Williwowza in heat.

Discuss. What do you think about the movie?

At least a polar bear got his jaw slapped off.

[RedDreadSky]

Also, I hope they don't fuck up badly on the Subtle Knife, that book rocked more than CapnCrunchDaPimp in bed.

Lol regs reference.