Oh trust me, it was amazing.
So I help myself to a great big platter of porkchops fit for a fucking KING, with mashed potatoes and beans to boot. My god, was it delicious; I swear I thought I'd never get full that night because of HOW GODDAMN GOOD the food was.
Skip to about 2 AM this morning. I'm still awake, working on the homework I had procrastinated until not half an hour ago, when all of a sudden my ass quakes with a sensation that felt as though the Rio Grande itself was about to explode. I rushed into the bathroom, shanking my pants down as fast as possible, and no sooner did I take a seat than WHAM, crap comes flying out like you wouldn't believe.
The interesting thing, though, was that it wasn't diarrhea. It was coming out as tiny segments all combined into a single, large shit that I could literally FEEL whirling around in a circle as it fell into the toilet, and by golly, it just kept coming.
So, about a minute later, I feel the last of this snake shit coming out, and then followed by two smaller pieces that had escaped from the mass. But when they fell, I didn't hear a "plop" to single that they had hit the water. Fearing the worst, I got up, looked behind me... and got the biggest grin ever on my face.
I, SONICMEGA, HAD SHAT SO MUCH THAT MY OWN SHIT BROKE THE WATER LEVEL OF THE TOILET BOWL.
Don't get any miracle ideas, though, I spent the next 15 minutes unclogging the toilet after all that crap. Still, best accomplishment of my life. SO FAR.
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