Princess Bride Essay

[Musician]

I'm going to be submitting the following to my literature teacher tommorow

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The Princess Bride
J******n M*****e
Fantasy Fiction
Sept 30, 2007

The Story of the Princess Bride is a comical romance, pure gold. The story begins with a romance between a woman commoner named Buttercup, and her farm boy Wesley. They fall in love and kiss n stuff and then Wesley has to go across the sea and on the way manages to get himself slaughtered by the dread pirate Roberts. Buttercup is oh so dismayed and becomes a hermit saying that she'll "never love again".
Well time passes and the great prince Humpherdink sets his eyes on Buttercup. He asks for her hand in marriage and Buttercup accepts realizing she has no bread n butter. Their wedding is announced and the whole kingdom is abuzz when all of a sudden Buttercup is kidnapped by a bunch of bozo's trying to ruin everyone's fun.
The three riff raffs are a Spanish swordsman, a giant, and a midget who likes to pretend he's smart (INCONCIEVABLE). While they're riding across the sea they notice that they are being followed by another vessel. The midget whom likes to pretend he's intelligent concludes that it's probably just a fisherman. But the boat keeps following them even when they reach the cliffs of insanity.
While they are climbing the cliffs of insanity the dread pirate Roberts jumps out of his ship and starts climbing the cliffs after them. The retarded midget leaves the Spanish swordsman behind. Well the dread pirate Roberts finishes climbing up the cliffs and rips the Spanish swordsman a new hole to breathe from. The retarded midget realizes that Roberts is gaining on them and leaves the giant behind to deal with him. Roberts takes care of the giant by choking him Chuck Norris style. Finally the dread pirate Roberts reaches the retarded midget holding Buttercup, unfortunately the midget forgets to breath and drops dead (Haha no I'm joking he was poisoned but it sounded funny right?).
Buttercup realizes that it is the dread pirate Roberts that has saved her and she pimp slaps him down a hill. As he's rolling down the hill he screams "as you wish" which basically means "I'm not Roberts, I'm Westley the dread pirate Roberts made me his successor so that he could retire whilst the dread pirate Roberts lives on". Buttercup realizes what a horrible mistake she has made and throws herself down the hill as well. Once they reach the bottom they decide the best course of action is to enter the fireswamp.
They enter the fire swamp which is infested with fire spouts, quick sand and ROUS's (rodents of unusual size). Princess Buttercup falls into a quicksand trap and Wesley has his shoulder bitten off by a ROUS but other than that it's a pretty smooth trip.
After that they exit the swamp only to be ganked by prince Humpherdink and his band of griefers. They're all about to beat the living ___ out of Wesley when Buttercup is all "stop please don't hurt him", so Prince Humpherdink agrees to let him go if she comes with him. She's carried away and Wesley is given a lump on the head by a man with six fingers (by the way the guy with six fingers killed the Spanish Swordsman's father, more on that later).
Wesley starts getting tortured and Buttercup unaware of this realizes she cant live without Wesley and tells Prince Humpherdink that she'll commit suicide if he continues with the marriage. Prince Humpherdink agrees to send out ships looking for Wesley but in reality he heads down to the torture chamber, hooks up Wesley's nipples to "the machine", and turns the suction level to 50 making Wesley the first male in history to die of extreme trauma to the nipples.
Meanwhile Prince Humpherdink has the nearby thieves village raided saying that he's afraid they'll try and kill his wife. This is only a ploy seeing as he wants to kill Princess Buttercup in order to start a war with another country that he just doesn't get along with. The Spanish Swordsman happens to be in this village and he's going to get arrested when all of a sudden the giant comes out of nowhere and slaps the guard silly.
The giant then dips the Spanish Swordsman's head into a vat of water to sober him up. The Spanish Swordsman concocts a plan to save buttercup and kill the six fingered man but he realizes that they don't have enough man power, so he raids the torture chamber and takes Wesley's lifeless corpse to Billy Crystal to be rezzed. They successfully rezz Wesley but he's unable to move do to resurrection sickness so they only have Wesley's brains to rely on.
Using a brilliant plan concocted by Wesley they raid the castle, save buttercup, and ride away into the sunset. Also during all this the Spanish Swordsman manages to kill the six fingered man and avenge his father.

[bigjonny13]

lol that was on today

[Fantum]

quite a blunt ending, if you ask me.

[Musician]

At 9/30/07 09:02 PM, Fantum wrote: quite a blunt ending, if you ask me.

it's more detailed in the movie, but that's basically the gist of it.

[Kuro]

It's hardly an essay.

It's all plot description, and no analysis.

[Fantum]

At 9/30/07 09:02 PM, Musician wrote:

At 9/30/07 09:02 PM, Fantum wrote: quite a blunt ending, if you ask me.

it's more detailed in the movie, but that's basically the gist of it.

Well, you should elaborate on how Wesley got into the castle to interrupt the wedding by scaring the guards. You should also go into how the six-fingered man ran, but Indigo was so determined that he gave all his effort to avenge his father, even after he had been stabbed in both shoulders.

[Musician]

At 9/30/07 09:05 PM, Kuro wrote: It's hardly an essay.

It's all plot description, and no analysis.

what's there to analyze? seriously

[Kuro]

At 9/30/07 09:12 PM, Musician wrote:

At 9/30/07 09:05 PM, Kuro wrote: It's hardly an essay.

It's all plot description, and no analysis.

what's there to analyze? seriously

You just talk about things like swords as symbols of power, or the motif of "as you wish".

You know, stuff which you can easily bullshit your way through.

[Fantum]

There is also the point that The Dread Pirate Robert (aka Wesley) is master of all disciplines, having defeated Indigo in a battle of swordplay, of which requires skill, agility, and practice, defeating Fezzick in a battle of strength, which requires cunning and force, and by beating the little guy in a battle of wits, showing both intelligence and mastery of calmness under pressure.