Be a Supporter!

A Doctor's Office Visit

  • 6,244 Views
  • 45 Replies
New Topic
LardLord
LardLord
  • Member since: Jun. 3, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Blank Slate
A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:12 AM

So I was getting ready to do my annual physical at the doctor's office for insurance shit. But I had just eaten bean chalupas for lunch a few hours earlier. So now, in addition having to go through this insurance shit, I also had to literally take a shit.

Really. Really. Bad.

I should've just canceled the doctor's appointment right then and there, but I was going to be a trooper. I thought I could make it through the appointment with little to no embarrassment.

So there I was, waiting for the doctor in the little alcove with tiny little shit hunks beginning to crowd up my lower intestines. I was hovering between staying right there, or getting up and going to the bathroom (which would create confusion if the doctor came in to find an empty room). But I was spared the decision as the Doctor walked in the door.

We went through the usual procedure, and the Doc (who was a moderately attractive female) decided it was time to check for hernias. I was like Fuck, I forgot about this shit. But I decided to grin and bear it. I could always use a discount on my insurance rates.

So I pull my pants down, pull my boxers down, pull my shirt up and brace the door. Now, this would be any normal-ass doctors' visit, any other day. But unfortunately, my ass wasn't really feeling very normal. So she grabs my dick with a little more force than I anticipated, and by the head instead of the shaft like normal doctors. I'm one of those sorts of guys who gets erections at the drop of a hat, so immediately, my dick goes stiff on me, and I hear my bowels growling at me through a long and winding fart.

Of course the Doctor notices, but she just laughs and says it's perfectly normal. I can see from her expressions that it's not normal, but whatever. I had bigger fish to fry -- like getting out of that room with my asshole in one piece.

Now comes the moment of reckoning. She insists on a rectal exam. No may, man. I try to insist to her that now is was not a good time for that sort of thing. But she presses that it's necessary to maintain good colon health. I really wasn't given a choice in the matter.

So she insists I lie prostate on the little table with paper draped across it -- ass in the air like a fucking faggot, about to get some doggy style loving -- And I have to.

So I do.

Anyone who's... assumed this position before... knows that it promotes flatulence to an extreme degree. So here I am lying on a faggoty table like a faggoty faggot with my ass in the faggoty air, and suddenly, I can't hold in the poo any more, and it starts leaking out of my hairy asshole down my hairy-ass legs. Poo & hair -- for future reference -- are not a good combo. An hour in the shower afterwards is what it took to clean myself up.

So at this point the Doc is kind of fucking grossed out, so she gives me a few sanitary wipes, and tells me to clean off while she leaves the room for a few minutes. Remember, during all of this, I'm still nursing the remnants of a serious erection. Was my humiliation complete? Not quite yet.

As I'm cleaning up the spilt diarrhea, I hear some laughing outside in the corridor, and I know it's my Doctor telling all the other faggoty doctors about how I took an involuntary shit all over the table.

Jesus Christ. This is the worst fucking day of my life.

Seriana
Seriana
  • Member since: May. 4, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 12
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:14 AM

Now I understand how you chose your name.

Cyberdevil
Cyberdevil
  • Member since: Jan. 17, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 49
Writer
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:16 AM

lmao

Soylent-Blue
Soylent-Blue
  • Member since: Dec. 16, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:23 AM

l o fucking l

win.

"Something creative."

BBS Signature
LardLord
LardLord
  • Member since: Jun. 3, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:31 AM

At 9/27/07 03:16 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: lmao

Seriously fucked over, dude. I came here to vent about shit and I get made fun of?

positive criticism would be nice.

Soylent-Blue
Soylent-Blue
  • Member since: Dec. 16, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:33 AM

At 9/27/07 03:31 AM, LardLord wrote:
At 9/27/07 03:16 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: lmao
Seriously fucked over, dude. I came here to vent about shit and I get made fun of?

positive criticism would be nice.

L2Poop.


"Something creative."

BBS Signature
Soylent-Blue
Soylent-Blue
  • Member since: Dec. 16, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:34 AM

At 9/27/07 03:33 AM, Soylent-Blue wrote:
At 9/27/07 03:31 AM, LardLord wrote:
At 9/27/07 03:16 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: lmao
Seriously fucked over, dude. I came here to vent about shit and I get made fun of?

positive criticism would be nice.
L2Poop.

wait wait wait wait...i take that back

i guess life's just shitty sometimes.

See what i did thar?

"Something creative."

BBS Signature
Recep-Lan
Recep-Lan
  • Member since: May. 1, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 10
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:34 AM

Lol you sir just got owned ....the hard way


I rule you

BBS Signature
UberKuri
UberKuri
  • Member since: Mar. 26, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 20
Musician
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:37 AM

But then she sucked you off!


BBS Signature
LardLord
LardLord
  • Member since: Jun. 3, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 03:57 AM

At 9/27/07 03:37 AM, UberKuri wrote: But then she sucked you off!

That would've been the only redeeming feature of today.

But alas, there was a wedding ring upon the finger that probed.

awesty
awesty
  • Member since: Feb. 26, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 11
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 04:36 AM

That story just made my day. :D


BBS Signature
TamiyaGuy
TamiyaGuy
  • Member since: Sep. 28, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 28
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 04:49 AM

LOL!! Please say that actually happened. You should get the CCTV (or whatever you americans call it) and put it on YouTube.


Don't eat yellow snow, Pepsi and coke are the same thing, etc. Visit my webpage! (go on)
Can I eat your brain? pleeeaaase?
You now have a duty in life!!! Clean up Newgrounds!!

BBS Signature
UberKuri
UberKuri
  • Member since: Mar. 26, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 20
Musician
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 06:12 AM

At 9/27/07 03:57 AM, LardLord wrote:
At 9/27/07 03:37 AM, UberKuri wrote: But then she sucked you off!
That would've been the only redeeming feature of today.

But alas, there was a wedding ring upon the finger that probed.

It might've just been a thick condom for emergencies.


BBS Signature
Spectacle
Spectacle
  • Member since: Apr. 10, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 20
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 07:11 AM

it probably would've been easier to just go "I need to take a shit first" and then there'd be no problem.


f

BBS Signature
crazylogic
crazylogic
  • Member since: Jul. 20, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 07
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 07:51 AM

I feel sorry for you

:Rofl

crazylogic
crazylogic
  • Member since: Jul. 20, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 07
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 07:52 AM

I feel sorry for you

Rofl
HeartbreakHoldout
HeartbreakHoldout
  • Member since: Sep. 16, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 22
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 07:54 AM

Why didn't you tell her you needed the toilet?

In-som-niac
In-som-niac
  • Member since: Jan. 14, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 07
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 07:59 AM

At 9/27/07 03:31 AM, LardLord wrote:
At 9/27/07 03:16 AM, Cyberdevil wrote: lmao
Seriously fucked over, dude. I came here to vent about shit and I get made fun of?

positive criticism would be nice.

this is the wrong place for that


in_som_niac is teh Great

BBS Signature
mastergurosp
mastergurosp
  • Member since: Oct. 20, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 14
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 07:59 AM

Wow the bathroom was like 6 feet down the hall...

way to go
Life-Stream
Life-Stream
  • Member since: Nov. 9, 2002
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 45
Gamer
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 08:14 AM

Lol, that story made me lol hard. I´m not sure if it´s true or if this is an attempt at humor, either way it´s funny as fuck.
I can just imagine all that happening.
You really should have just told her to wait a few minutes while you went to the toilet before hand. I would have, because i know i have a weak stomach aswell and i probably would have done the same as you. Though, i´ve never heard of these exams you speak of ´tugging cocks´ and ´anal insertion´.

Emilyhello
Emilyhello
  • Member since: Aug. 8, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 06
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 11:24 AM

LMAO!!!!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!

ehem... i mean, how unlucky...

samurai-skillz
samurai-skillz
  • Member since: Jan. 23, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 17
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 11:29 AM

At 9/27/07 08:14 AM, Life-Stream wrote:

Though, i´ve never heard of these exams you speak of ´tugging cocks´ and ´anal insertion´.

You mean to tell me they don't do prostate exams in Spain?


BBS Signature
Life-Stream
Life-Stream
  • Member since: Nov. 9, 2002
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 45
Gamer
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 11:37 AM

At 9/27/07 11:29 AM, samurai-skillz wrote:
You mean to tell me they don't do prostate exams in Spain?

Maybe they do, but i´ve just never heard of them. I for sure have never had one done, and don´t like the thought of it.

samurai-skillz
samurai-skillz
  • Member since: Jan. 23, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 17
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 11:40 AM

At 9/27/07 11:37 AM, Life-Stream wrote: Maybe they do, but i´ve just never heard of them. I for sure have never had one done, and don´t like the thought of it.

You say that now, but chances are in the future you'll be going to the doctor on a regular basis, getting your ass probed, all men will go through it, that is unless science and technology will provide us men with a better way to check for prostate cancer


BBS Signature
Socrates
Socrates
  • Member since: Jul. 14, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 11:47 AM

No doctor touching my anus. I'd rather die of AIDS.

555exe
555exe
  • Member since: Mar. 23, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 32
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Sep. 27th, 2007 @ 11:55 AM

hahahhahhahahhaha lol :'D hahha


ABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

BBS Signature
Bolo
Bolo
  • Member since: Nov. 29, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 48
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Oct. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:15 AM

So you sent me the link to this thread, Lardy.

I read it. And I've gotta say, you are fucking disgusting.

And by fucking disgusting, I mean fucking awesome.


BBS Signature
NightmareFire
NightmareFire
  • Member since: Jul. 21, 2007
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 10
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Oct. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:18 AM

Well, you made my day.

Thank you for the story

No! YOU shut up!
/pout

BBS Signature
Ringwraith1
Ringwraith1
  • Member since: Feb. 5, 2005
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Blank Slate
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Oct. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:27 AM

Wow, I gotta say, that is the funniest thing I have read all day..But ya, I feel for ya, holding it in is not a fun experience.


BBS Signature
Icecry0
Icecry0
  • Member since: Sep. 16, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 25
Gamer
Response to A Doctor's Office Visit Oct. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:29 AM

Well it's not all bad...you didn't shit in her face which is good I guess...