At 6/12/09 02:46 PM, big-jonny-13 wrote:
At 6/12/09 04:58 AM, J-qb wrote:
Yeah, I thought so, I think I was thrown off by the fact that Trauma seems to rhyme with Coma. Maybe it would be better if you used some complicated medical term instead of coma.You might think so, but trauma and coma do not rhyme. Trauma rhymes with comma, but not coma. Trauma is phonetically Trah-mah and coma is Co-mah.
Yeah, that is the entire point. At first glance you would say it doesnt rhyme, then you start to wonder wether it was maybe intended to rhyme, but didnt quite....
I found it distracting, that is all I mean to say. As I said, It is your piece so keep it the way you want it, but personally I would have changed it.