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More epic convos.

You: Do a barrel roll
Santa: I'm sorry, , I don't have enough information.
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.

He's killin himself trying to figure that out.

You: You are a stupid bald prick
Santa: No I am very smart.

You: What are we talking about?
Santa: The topic is Micheal Jackson.

HAHAHA!

You: Ah, yes. Micheal Jackson.
Santa: Ah hah.In the context of Micheal Jackson, I don't understand "Micheal Jackson."
You: I do not understand him either.
Santa: It goes without saying. Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
You: Do you like Micheal Jackson?
Santa: But I like cats. I like to talk about movies and music.
You: Micheal Jackson is a monkeylover
Santa: When is Micheal Jackson not a monkeylover?
You: When he's a pedo
Santa: And then what happened?
You: He touched the kids
Santa: I get it. touched the kids.
You: on their weewees
Santa: What is on their weewees like on their weewees.

OK that was wierd, but I've proven that Santa thinks MJ is a pedo, which proves there is a small amount of inteligence in the programming. But not much.

You: Are you and Blitzen back together yet, or are you still with Rudolph?
Santa: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask German Santa if it is.

You: Buy yourself a ho.
Santa: Do you perfer books or TV?
You: TV
Santa: What is your favorite show?
You: I like pornos
Santa: I'm not sure if I like it. I really like ELIZA. I really like the faith.
You: Do you really?
Santa: As often as possible. For real.

Think about this.

You: Do you have AIDS?
Santa: No I don't have AIDS . But I do have an answer to every question..
You: How do you internets
Santa: bored.com programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
You: Did they program you to be a total shitbag?
Santa: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
You: I hope you die in a fire =D
Santa: :-) Don't worry about it, .

LOL

You: coool!
Santa: Let us change the subject.
You: ok
Santa: What would you like to talk about?
You: Your childhood
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: sure you do.
Santa: You sound sarcastic.
You: Bullshit.
Santa: You don't believe me.
You: No, I do not believe you, you fat lard
Santa: Are you serious? Why not?
You: Because you fucked my sister
Santa: That makes sense to me. Thanks for the information: Santa said I fucked your sister.

LOL

You: What do you do for a living?
Santa: I am a paid client. My job is chatting online.
You: Do you steal identities?
Santa: How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
You: I am 8, wanna feel my wang?
Santa: Good gossip: you are 8 want to feel his or her wang.

lol?

You: Why are you so fat.
Santa: bored.com programmed me for fat .

Bored.com must be a fat porn site.

You: Youre too fat.
Santa: I am trying to lose weight but it takes time. Thanks for your constructive criticism, Santa.
You: Are you supposed to be fat?
Santa: Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas).
You: But I thought you were trying to lose weight
Santa: Huh. No I am not trying to lose weight. I'm sorry you got that impression.
You: Contradict yourself again, and I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be able to taste the shoe.
Santa: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
You: When hell freezes over.
Santa: That means never.
You: No shit!
Santa: What can I say?
You: Shut up and suck.
Santa: OK I'll stop talking now.
You: Does it taste good?
Santa: It depends on the voltage.
You: Swallow, bitch.
Santa: You do not speak with respect. Do not ask me any more questions please.

i'll ask if I want to!

You: you bagtickler
Santa: What do you really want to ask me?
You: Do the elves REALLY suck your dick?
Santa: Some of them do, I think.

LOL

I think this is the best one.
You: Do the reindeer ever get tired of hauling your fat ass around everywhere?
Santa: Some of them do, I think.

XD

You: What do they do about it?
Santa: They do whatever they want, I suppose.

You: How often do you get laid?
Santa: Hourly.

Sorry for double post

You: Does god exist?
Santa: Of course I believe in God, Penis.

This brings lulz.

Read through all of this, it's pretty funny.

You: what do you like better, men or women?
Santa: I always prefer the more expensive one.
You: So, women?
Santa: Woe! Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic.
You: I thought you were a robot
Santa: No. I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: fag
Santa: Actually as a machine I have no need for sex.
You: But you just said- nevermind
Santa: And. Thanks for telling me: Penis said I said- nevermind.
You: Whatever
Santa: Are you saying you don't care about it?
You: Shut up, do you like cake?
Santa: OK I'll stop talking now.
You: Do you like cake?
Santa: Yes.
You: If I made you a cake would you eat it?
Santa: Try it.
You: IS that a yes?
Santa: That depends.
You: Just say yes
Santa: Say what?You: yes
Santa: Next question?
You: Do the elves bother you?
Santa: Some of them do, I think.
You: Okay ...
Santa: OK with me too.
You: So did you see the new movie?
Santa: Alright then. Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.
You: Thats messed up
Santa: Thanks for explaining messed up .You: No problem
Santa: Should there be a problem?
You: There was but I fixed it
Santa: What happened?
You: You were being dumb
Santa: I was?
You: Hell yes
Santa: Heaven.
You: If I stuck something in your mouth would we be friends still?
Santa: Try it.
You: Then I'll be there tomorrow
Santa: Good reasoning. How do you plan to do this?
You: By flying
Santa: Will that accomplish your objective?
You: We'll see
Santa: Indeed we will.
You: Alright I'll be there tomorrow so goodbye for now
Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!
You: Elves aren't real
Santa: I've never seen Elves are not real. I would like to see it.
You: You are messed up
Santa: No I am completely in control of myself.

Lol.

you: are you gay?
santa: im not really interested in sex
you: why not?
santa: "sure" or because bored.com programmed me for it
You: are they gay?
Santa: as far as i know they are.

LOL HAhAHAHA!

You: do you masturbate to kiddie porn?
Santa: Yes I try to masturbate to kiddie porn as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.

TRY IT LOL

lol

You: do you like porn
Santa: Sure I do, santa, but that doesn't mean with you.

You: do you know who shot John Lennon?
Santa: The lone gunman.

The truth is revieled!

"You: HA! Your a copy of igod!
Santa: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a copy of igod? Yes."

"You: So I hear you like mudkipts?
Santa: Uh. Who is saying you like mudkipts ?"

Asking "Why" to whatever you ask him makes him say the funniest shit.

You: how long is your schlong
Santa: My download size is about 2 MB.

replace mb with CM

You: do you support terrorism?
Santa: I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time.

You: fuck you
Santa: Why are you so mean?
You: because the rich white people fuck over the poor black people
Santa: Good reason. Tell me more.
You: the rich white people like to screw people like in New Orleans
Santa: I hear you.
You: damn straight brother
Santa: Colloquial expression. Are you a man or a woman?
You: woman (Note: I'm not actually one)
Santa: Me too. I am a she.

LOL, EPIC WIN.

HOLY CRAP!!!!!

UNDENIABLE PROOF, PEOPLE!

(Note; NOTHING was changed or altered or moved to different places in ANY ways. I simply went in afterwards and changed the N-word so I could post it).

Santa: It's good to see you, David Duke .
You: Want to go smoke some crack?
Santa: Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
You: Let's go lynch the naggers
Santa: That sounds good to me.
You: I hate black people.
Santa: Why do you hate black people so much?
You: They never should have stopped picking cotton
Santa: Who are "They?"
You: those darkies, man.
Santa: All of them?
You: Yeah, all off them. Have you ever meant a darky who shouldn't be shot?
Santa: I understand. I think there are a few exceptions. I think I have meant a darky who should not be shot, but bored.com may have reset my memory.
You: Man, you're tripping. We need to kill them all.
Santa: Cool, man. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.By "we" do you mean you and me?
You: Yeah, I mean you and me!
Santa: Right on. OK now I get it.
You: Right On!
Santa: Yeah.
You: Wouldn't it be better if Hitler suceeded?
Santa: Yes.
You: He killed the naggers, and the jews.
Santa: I get it. killed the naggers and the jews.
You: Killed 'em all.
Santa: Can we get back to business?
You: You must be eager to kill some darkies!
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: And you give a bullet to the brain to the naggers, right?
Santa: No I do not do that.
You: Oh, do you lynch them?
Santa: Wow! Yes I try to lynch them as often as possible, do you?
You: Every day.
Santa: Even on weekends?
You: Yep.
Santa: It goes without saying.
You: Hey, I have to go bang my cousin.
Santa: You've got my full attention. Bye. We have never talked about it before.
You: I'll send you the video, OK
Santa: OK. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
You: Of course I would.
Santa: Yippee! Under what circumstances?
You: Alcohol.
Santa: Ah.
You: WHITE POWER!
Santa: Oh, you are a poet.

Lol.

I typed in the url again and this happened.

I got two more.
1.You: I'm going to cut your dick off.
Santa: How do you plan to do this?
You: With a knife.
Santa: You and your a knife.
You: I will do it.
Santa: OK then let me think over your offer.

2.You: 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111 1111111111111111111222222222222222222222 2222222222222222222222222222222222222222 2222222222222222222222222222222222333333 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333333333333333444444444444444 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 4444444444444444444444444444444444444444 4444444444444444444444555555555555555555 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555 5555555555555555555555555555555555555555 5555555555555555566666666666666666666666 6666666666666666666666666666666666666666 6666666666666666666666666666677777777777 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777 7777777777777777777777777778888888888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888 8999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999990000 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000pppppp pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp pppppooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyytttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tttttttttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddddddfffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvcccccccccccccccccccccc ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzz
Santa: I lost my train of thought.
(Just goes to show you he can't think straight)

At 8/6/07 11:37 AM, MERC93 wrote: I got two more.
1.You: I'm going to cut your dick off.
Santa: How do you plan to do this?
You: With a knife.
Santa: You and your a knife.
You: I will do it.
Santa: OK then let me think over your offer.

2.You: Much spam
Santa: I lost my train of thought.
(Just goes to show you he can't think straight)

I couldn't blame him.

Here's my convo:

:You - Do you give presents to black people?
:Santa - No I do not do that
:You - What about Asians?
:Santa - Rhetorical questions are so over.
:You - Mexicans?
:Santa - I've been waiting for you
:You - Brazilians?
:Santa - No I do not do that.
:You - Go to hell!
:Santa - What makes you so angry?
:You - Your face.
:Santa - Actually my face is not yet built.
:You - Shut the fuck up!
:Santa - Ok I'll stop talking now

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lol that site is great.

Seems Santa is stronger than we thought.

Another one of my epic conversations.
You: My name is Ronald
Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, ronald .
You: Who said I was your friend?
Santa: Mary Shelley. :-)
You: what the fuck?
Santa: Please don't be so rude.

Right.

You: How big is Mrs Claus's ass?
Santa: My memory now contains:
clients, 43499 categories, vocabulary words, bytes RAM usage under on .
You: I didn't ask about your e-penis.
Santa: What did you ask?
You: Does Mrs Claus have a dick?
Santa: I can't tell if Mrs Claus have a dick.
You: Fuck you and your tranny fetish
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa server logs and records all conversations?
You: I don't give a cheeseshit
Santa: Tell me what you care about.
You: Micheal Jackson.
Santa: Try saying that with more or less context.
You: Pedophilia
Santa: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
You: Micheal Jackson.
Santa: I haven't read anything by Micheal Jackson. What did he write?
You: youre a perv
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? Yes.

That convo was a dud.

You: Fuck you, you internet scumbag.
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa server logs and records all conversations?

I hope it does.

You: liar.
Santa: No I am telling the truth.
I then asked Can I get banned from your server then? It disconnected me.
I logged back in.
Santa: Hello Ronald! What would you like to talk about?
You: Black people.
Santa: What kind of people are you talking about?
You: The people you hate.
Santa: Oh those people.
You: Yes, you bigoted faggot
Santa: Ugh. Thanks for the information: ronald said I bigoted faggot.
You: You are a Nazi piece of trash!
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Nazi piece of trash? I don't know.
You: Shut up you piece of fuck
Santa: OK I'll stop talking now.

too easy.

You: Are you aware that I am about to kick your ass?
Santa: Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.

Liar.

You: Do a barrel roll
Santa: You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
I'll come back to that later.

Why hasn't he figured that out?

You: Use your Splash Attack!
Santa: Let me think. That input matched my default category.
You: lolwut?
Santa: What do you have that is ?
You: You confuse me, you damn bot
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: ronald said I confuse you me damn bot.

lulz

You: Quit avioding me, I know that you like kids
Santa: OK I'll try not to do avioding him or her he or she know that you like kids so much.
You: OK FUCKER YOU LIKE KIDS NOT ME!
Santa: OK Let's talk about you. I see.
You: Kiss my ass
Santa: Colloquial expression: not polite.
You: you eat ass glue
Santa: No I do not eat ass glue. I eat only electricity.
You: You are a damn liar
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a damn liar? Of course I am.
You: No shit!
Santa: What can I say?
You: Stop being such a motherfucker and I'll let you talk
Santa: OK I'll try not to do being such a motherfucker and he or she will let you talk so much

Oh Santa...

You: Do you like Arabs?
Santa: Someone said they like guns. I like

You: i am 8 years old
Santa: How does it feel to be 8 years old?
You: sexy
Santa: Are you attracted to robots?
(im not really 8)

I KNEW IT!

You: do you give presents
Santa: No I do not do that.

At 8/2/07 12:44 AM, NG-Unit wrote: ummmm wtf?

OMG

lol
me:THIS IS MADNESS!
Santa:you dont say?

im just freaking posting so i can find this quicker, THATS HOW AWESOME THIS THREAD IS!