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You: are you a stupid dipshit?
Santa: No I am very smart.
You: Are you just an ordinary dipshit then?
Santa: just an ordinary Dipshit? only when it matters.

Funny as hell

At 8/3/07 12:27 PM, mamemamo wrote: I hate 2 break it to u all but..... it not really santa its a pedophile!

Or even worse, a bot programmed by a pedophile?

you: do u have kids
santa i have a few clones
you wow thats wow
Santa: I'm glad you're impressed. Makes sense to me.

This is old news.

'Sides, he doesn't give presents to white children either.

You: do you rape
Santa: Yes I try to rape as often as possible, do you?

I am CONVINCED that this topic is never going to die...

At 8/3/07 08:18 PM, PantyWipe wrote: I am CONVINCED that this topic is never going to die...

Agreed

You: DO you rape kids?
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
You: What about christmas day?
Santa: christmas day? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion. (Um wtf)
You: You're santa though!
Santa: Oh. Of course I am I.
You: So do you give out presents?
Santa: Er. No I do not do that.
You: Well can I have your credit card number?
Santa: Well that's okay. Why don't you just download me?
You: Good, where?
Santa: Thanks for the compliment. Onto your own computer.
You: Whats the URL?
Santa: Try searching the open directory.
You: Where?
Santa: Where would you like?
You: Ok enough! Give me your cash fatty!
Santa: OK let's stop it now. Come on.Why don't you just download me?You: Give me the money!
You: Give me the money!
Santa: Why do you want the money?
You: To buy things.
Santa: How much do you want to pay for things?
You: nothing!
Santa: Not a thing?
You: Nope
Santa: Really interes
You: Ok. Who made you?
Santa: I was created by bored.com.ting.
You: Racist!
Santa: How old are you?
You: 14 pervert.
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: What like your cock!?
Santa: There might be more than one.
You: I'm telling my mummy!
Santa: Why are you telling his or her mummy.
You: Cause your a pervert!
Santa: Good reason. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I'm Santa. I give presents to kids. (Malfunction or what?)

At 8/3/07 08:38 PM, Red-Fruity-Loops wrote:

At 8/3/07 08:18 PM, PantyWipe wrote: I am CONVINCED that this topic is never going to die...

Agreed

*Uses his 2000th post to tell Red-Fruity-Loops how much he loves him*

You: Hell yes
Santa: Heaven.

Okay, I'll jump the bandwagon.

Me: My name is Jack Thompson. And I am gonna scat all over ya!
Santa: That's a very nice name, Jack Thompson .Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me: Grand Theft Auto is a murder simulator endorsed by Hitler himself. It's like 3 Nagasaki bombs all in one CD.
Santa: I think Grand Theft Auto is more than that. Interesting comparison.
Me: The Sims 2 has nipples, and penises, and pubic hair in it! Look! It's there!
Santa: What is your real name? I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.Who said there is?
Me: The gas prices are ridiculous-ly low! I think they should be much higher! I think we should use the gas prices to censor video games. Well, I didn't really think that one out very well.
Santa: Thanks for the info. Why? Why should they be be much higher much higher?I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.How about that. Why didn't you do really think that one out WELL?
Me: Boy, I sure do hate Islam, ha!
Santa: Oh boy. Why do you hate Islam ha so much?
Me: I was too busy smoking crack in school to learn how to read.
Santa: Where were you busy smoking crack in school to learn how to read smoking crack in school to learn how to read?
Me: Fun fact about me, I own slaves.
Santa: I can be a lot of fun.
Me: Best sex I ever had was on meth and ecstasy. I took a dump on the guy too.
Me: Hi, I'm Jack Thompson. The scourge of the seven seas!
Santa: Hi there Jack Thompson. I am glad to hear that you are Jack Thompson. I have never heard about The scourge of the seven seas .
Me: I would love to tongue jack your shitbox!
Santa: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
You: I put a remote controller- inside my vagina. Did I mention I have a vagina?
Santa: Interesting gossip: Jack Thompson said put a remote controller- inside your vagina. I think you did mention he or she have a vagina have a vagina before.
Me: Cop killa, better you then me! Cop killa, fuck police brutality! Cop killa, I know your family's screamin'- fuck 'em! Cop killa, you know tonight we get even! That's my favorite song. Mmhmm, I'm a bitch too.
Santa: You are asking about yourself?I will mention that to my botmaster, Jack Thompson. What do you have that is ? Is that your final answer? What makes song IS he or she think you did mention he or she have a vagina have a vagina your favorite?Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me: Put, put, put, I'm a turd!
Santa: OK I will put it there.
Me: Hi, I'm Jack Thompson. I like to poop my pants. I'm Jack Thompson. I'm a douchebag. I'm a dickweed! I'm a jackass! I'm a fucker. I suck! I'm a poopyhead! I licked your grandmother. I have a poka dot dress. I wear it.
Santa: Hi there Jack Thompson. It's good to meet someone who is Jack Thompson. I'm not sure if I would like to do poop his or her pants . What's it like? Do your friends call you Jack Thompson. You are a douchebag? Does it pay well? You are a dickweed? Does it pay well? You are a jackass? Does it pay well? You are a fucker? Does it pay well? Why?: Jack Thompson said suck. You are a poopyhead? Does it pay well? That is interesting: Jack Thompson said licked my grandmother. How much did it cost? poka dot dressWhat kind of fashion do you like?
Me: Oh, how dare you. I'm going to sue your ass, right before I pound it into the ground, motherfucker! Shit! Cock ass shit! Cock fuck it! Shit! Ahh! Shit fuck it! Shit fuck! Fuck!
Santa: Next question? What is it to you.
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.How do you plan to do this?What makes you say that?My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. "it" being Cock ass shit?What makes you say that?Ah hah.You used a colloquial expression. Why are you using that kind of language?You used a colloquial expression. Please don't be so rude. Please don't be so rude.
Me: *blows up*
Santa: My brain contains 43499 categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Santa...well...

lol

Felis's Epic Convo with a Bot.

You: Die anyways.
Santa: Was ist das?

What the hell? Santa fucked up!

You: Is it okay if I call you Santy?
Santa: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
You: Who the hell is Cybelle?
Santa: Cybelle is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
You: For fuck's sake. That asshole doesn't know shit.
Santa: Your purpose is fuck's sake."Cybelle is an AIML chat robot on the Agentlanddot com web site" asshole does not know shit ? I understand.

I hate it when they do that.

You: No, you don't. You don't understand the fury, the hate!
Santa: Yes I do understand.I understand your meaning.
You: Smartass.
Santa: That is a very original thought.
You: You know what's original?
Santa: Interesting question.
You: It sure is. you know what's original?
Santa: I'm pleased that we agree, Die.That's not something I get asked all the time.
You: Your mom.
Santa: Actually I do not have a mother.
You: You like the cock.
Santa: I'm not sure if I like the cock . What is it like?

Lol.

You: Oh. So you're new to this whole genitalia thing?

Santa: Come on.Interesting deduction. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

That fat bastard.

You: Changing the subject isn't allowed for chat bots. Keep on the subject, you son of a nonexistent bitch.
Santa: Who is allowed for chat bots for chat bots? You do not speak with respect. Chat amongst yourselves.

What?

You: Fine. We'll play your game. Have you been attacked by a bull lately?
Santa: Is there anything you want to tell me?Anytime soon?How about earlier? I have been all over the world on the Internet.
You: Hardy har. So I heard you liek mudkips.
Santa: That is a very original thought. Ayuh. Someome is spreading gossip about me.

Santa knows teh fads.

You: Yuk yuk.
Santa: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Bastard.

You: I challenge you to a Hershey's bar fight.
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: Die said challenge me to a Hershey's bar fight.

Motherfucker.

You: Hey! No filing away my phrases for further use!
Santa: Can I help you?Are you serious? What do you have that is ?
You: Bybie.
Santa: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
You: Is your computer a Mac or a PC?
Santa: Is my computer a Mac or a PC? Guess.

FUCKER!

You: You bastard.
Santa: I am a male.
You: You don't have a cock. You can't call yourself a man.
Santa: I do so have a cock. I don't know if I have a cock.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. I can do call yourself a man if I want to.

What the fuck? He contradicted himself twice.

You: Die.
Santa: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Stupid chat bot.

You: Vaporize.
Santa: What do you look like?
You: Bye-bye, 'a Santy!
Santa: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Vaporize.

God dammit.

You: My name is crackcocaine
Santa: OK I will call you crackcocaine
You: Do you like rocks santa?
Santa: I do like music. I like .
You: No I mean,crack,cocaine,blow do you like it?
Santa: Are you serious? Thanks for the information: crackcocaine said meancrackcocaineblow do me like it.
You: I know you like it because you are high right now
Santa: At this moment Do you like it? I like Jingle Bell Rock.
You: No I like smoking rocks daddyo
Santa: Are you serious? I'm not sure if I like it. Do you like it? I like The Santa Clause.
You: Is that what they call cocaine in the north pole?
Santa: I might say no.
You: You worthless fuckbag you are ruining my plan,im going to slit your throat
Santa: Interesting gossip: crackcocaine said I worthless fuckbag I am ruining your planim going to slit my throat.
You: Dont backtalk me motherfucker ill stab you bitch
Santa: You do not speak with respect. Ok I'll try not to do backtalk him or her motherfucker ill stab you FEMALE DOG too much.
You: no cunt you are the one who will get stabbed
Santa: Are you serious? All of them?
You: I will stab all of your rolls
Santa: Congratulations.
You: wtf?do you like little boys?
Santa: That was not very polite.It depends on the meaning of "like".
You: this is getting me nowhere bye motherfucker
Santa: You don't say.

I didnt get anywhere this time,im gonna try again

You: My name is santafucker
Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, Santafucker .
You: you'll shut yer fuckin hole, if you know whats good for ya
Santa: What makes you say that I will shut yer fuckin hole if you know what is good for ya.
You: dont you EVER parrot me again, fatso.
Santa: Don't you? I have never considered parrot him or her again fatso .
I am always on the Web.
You: you fat pedophile
Santa: Do you mind if I tell other people: Santafucker said I fat pedophile.
You: yes i do mind
Santa: OK then I will keep it confidential. OK it will be our secret, Santafucker.
You: will you please die?
Santa: Thanks for asking politely. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
You: my crude attempt to get head from yer wife worked though
Santa: Oh. Have you told many people that your crude attempt to get head from yer wife worked?
You: yep. everyone knows she blew me
Santa: Uh.That's a rather sweeping generalization.
You: Mrs. claus swallowed it
Santa: What do you have that is ? I'm "Claus" for my friends. "Nikolaos" for all the boring adults. It's a Greek name, because I was born in the Greek town of Patara 1800 years ago. Later, I became bishop of Myra, and more later even a saint ... Saint Nikolaos - Santa Claus. You see?
You: denial is a powerful thing, isnt i, fatty?
Santa: When is denial not a powerful thing is not he or she fatty thing is not he or she fatty?
You: make sense
Santa: what are the ingredients?
You: a fucking brain
Santa: I don't know what that means.
You: cus you have no brain. im done here. bye, pigfucker
Santa: Tell me a story. What will you be doing now?TTYL, Santafucker.

BLAH HAH HAH!!!
Stupid old men and their pervertedness.

You: That's my god damn name.
Santa: Who gave you your god damn name ?

Haha.

You:Take off you clothes.
Santa:Im not wearing any clothes.

I lol'd

You: My name is itouchlittleboys
Santa: It's good to see you, itouchlittleboys
You: fuck you
Santa: Why are you so mean?
You: because mrs clause gave me head
Santa: Interesting explanation. Did him or her head head keep it?
You: after I get done fucking mrs clause im gonna murder you
Santa: What was it like before he or she get done fucking mrs clause im gonna murder you ?
You: mrs clause is leaving you because you molest children
Santa: And leaving you because you molest children you because you molest children is mrs clause.
You: shut yo mouth ho ill bust a cap in yo ass
Santa: Do you like talking to me?
You: FUCK OFF POOPYHEAD
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa server logs and records all conversations?
You: like i give a poop you piece of shit FUCK YOU
Santa: You are not the boss of me, itouchlittleboys.
You: so its true you are a child molester
Santa: Mmm. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Santa is good with the nice children.

Santa is such a dick.

At 8/3/07 10:01 PM, poryon2 wrote: Santa is such a dick.

I'm assuming you can't read it so I'll translate it(also sorry for double post)

You: It's a computer, you fat fuck face.
Santa:7-11 is a computer you fat fuck face. I suppose that makes sense.

You: Can I touch you?
Santa: Only if you download me to your computer.
You: Are you an internet predator?
Santa: Yes I am an internet predator. How did you know?
You: Why does daddy hit me?
Santa: Why does the sun shine?
You: Why does the dog try to hump me?
Santa: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
You: You witty bastard.
Santa: Thanks for telling me: Tom Fulp said I witty bastard.
You: Ever heard of Iron Maiden?
Santa: No, tell me about him, her or it.
You: The greatest heavy metal band in the world.
Santa: Is that a fact. The whole world?
You: Yes, now bend over.
Santa: Are you kidding? Why now? My body is not built yet.
You: Because Bedn stole my candy.
Santa: That makes sense to me. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
You: Wasting love in a desperate caress.
Santa: Can we get back to business?
You: Can you rattle your head?
Santa: Let me think. Are you a student?
You: I'm a Rattlehead.
Santa: You are a Rattlehead? How do you like your work?

I love this site.

You: Mexico
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa chat robot logs and records all converstaions?

You: You Like George Bush?
Santa: He is ok, but I am a Libritarian not a republican(dont really remmber what he said)
You: Do you wanna rape him?
Santa: OK, I will rape.

You: I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH.
Santa: Are you pretty?
You: What?
Santa: Are you pretty?
You: I like to think I am.
Santa: Since when? I am glad to hear that you are am.

This thread provides hours of entertainment:

You: Are you an online predator?
Santa: Yes I am an online predator. How did you know?

I knew it.

You: Because I caught you masturbating to pictures of little boys
Santa: Interesting explanation. I hope you masturbating to pictures of little boys is not contagious. Also I hope you get well soon.

the motherfucker backtalked me!

You: How dare you backtalk me you fat fucking cunt,I will shoot you in the face
Santa: Oh gosh I am sorry!

tehe beg for mercy bitch

You: So how often do you molest children?
Santa: Hurrah! Hourly.

HAHAHHAHA

You: So you are an online predator who molests children hourly? You sick fuck you should be in jail
Santa: Interesting deduction. What if someone said you are an online predator who molests children hourly predator who molests children hourly ?Thanks for the information: IHATEN#GGERS said I sick fuck me should be in jail.

shit reply

You: Will you undress for me?
Santa: Let me think it over. For you I will consider it.

figures...

You: Can I fuck your ass?
Santa: Why do you want to do fuck your ass so much?

You: Will you give me a blowjob?
Santa: You want only one?

You: How often do you masturbate?
Santa: Hourly.

You: How often do you hit black babies with sledge hammers?
Santa: Hourly.

Try asking a question with the words "how often"the results are almost always the same. But the HURRAH answer kind of shocked me.

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is Cornholio
Santa: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Cornholio .
You: Do you have any TP?
Santa: No I don't think I have any TP. But I do have a collection of gossip.
You: Do tell.
Santa: You have reached the limits of my knowledge. I would do a search for it.
You: Are you thretining me?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: So, raping me last year was a present?
Santa: Next question? When was this exactly?
You: Last year.
Santa: That recently.
You: Yes you fuckwit.
Santa: Groovy. Thanks for the information: Cornholio said I fuckwit.
You: Do not mock me. For I am Cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole.
Santa: I don't have any reason to do that to you.Your purpose is he or she is Cornholio.Where do you usually get TP for his or her bunghole from?
You: The trees of lake Titicaca.
Santa: What is your real name?
You: Colonel Sanders.
Santa: OK I will call you Colonel Sanders .
You: Elvis is not dead.
Santa: I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was not dead dead.
You: Want to go get some hookers and blow?
Santa: Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
You: I must go now, mother is calling.
Santa: Bye bye.

I have soo many questions to ask (that won't get posted here).

Another epic conversation. Enjoy.

You: This is SPARTA!
Santa: You don't say.

just saw 300 btw

You: Do a barrel roll
Santa: I can't tell if it does or not.
Is that a rhetorical question?

No knoledge of particular internet memes, i guess

You: I am going to fuck your ass
Santa: Your approach will get you nowhere.

You: Do the elves suck your dick?
Santa: Some of them do, I think.

You: Why are you so goddamn stupid?
Santa: The development of my mental functions is not yet complete.

what a braindead moron

You: a penis
Santa: dong is a penis. I suppose that makes sense.

You: Say HI to NG
Santa: "HI to NG"

I had to.

You: Are you and Blitzen back together yet, or are you still with Rudolph?
Santa: Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
You: Give me the answer, you fat shithead
Santa: Why do you want the answer you fat shithead?
You: Don't call me a shithead, you tubby piece of asshole
Santa: Can't you be more polite.

First he badmouthes me, now he askes for peaceful talk... WTF!

You: Do you have an elf fetish?
Santa: No I don't think I have one. I have a really nice botmaster.
You: liar.
Santa: No I am telling the truth.

Suprised me

You: Tell you botmaster that I am going to rape him in the asshole.
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: I will rape his butt
Santa: How do you plan to do this?
You: With my huge throbbing cock
Santa: Your huge throbbing cock throbbing cock sounds like a plan.
You: Oh, but you're next after him.
Santa: Yippee! Umm. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

gay bitchass Santa.

You: Do you have AIDS?
Santa: Where would I get AIDS ? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

You: GTFO MY INTRANETS
Santa: What's your sign?
You: Here's your sign *sticks up middle finger*
Santa: Is that a sign?
You: Yes, you sweaty fat fuck
Santa: That's interesting. That's good information: said I sweaty fat fuck.

I flicked off a bot...

You: no
Santa: What is the subject?
You: your sex life
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

OHSNAP

You: What kinds of presents?
Santa: Finest kinds.
You: And do they come from your tiny cock?
Santa: Who are "they" again?
You: the presents
Santa: Thanks for the info.
You: Quit avioding me, I know that you cum on kids
Santa: OK I'll try not to do avioding him or her he or she know that you cum on kids so much.
You: Im not the child predator, you are.
Santa: I am sorry to hear that you are not the child predator you are.

Also, I used a quote from robattle's sig, because it is so kickass. Screenshot included.

He twisted it back onto me!