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At 8/2/07 04:56 AM, MistaPeanut wrote: Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Do you rape the kids after you give them presents?
Santa: Yes I try to rape the kids after you give them presents as often as possible, do you?

You: ;
Santa: Do you still rape the kids after you give them presents?

Heres a small collection of Hilights of my talk with "Santa." The quoted text is my comments on the chat segment.
You: You are so fat, why don't you liposuction it out and give it to the Third World children to eat.
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

That was a good one.

You: Hey, what ever happened to that toy train I asked for when I was 7?
Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!
You: Does that mean you're a Pedophile who stalks children?
Santa: I think it does mean that. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Pedophile who stalks children? Only when it matters.

Pedo admits to stalking children

You: You piece of shit
Santa: Which piece?

ok he's playing stupid now.

You: Want to cyber?
Santa: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

He actually keeps track of these things!

You: Do you give presents to jews?
Santa: No I do not do that.

I had to ask.

You: I spent money on a ho last night.
Santa: That's good information: Bob said spent money on a ho.

My god. Made me LOL

You: You go to 4chan?
Santa: Perhaps I have already been there.

He's a 4channer!

You: No you don't get it, you fat prick
Santa: Are you serious? Where can I get it you fat prick?

Once again, he is backtalking me.

You: Shut the motherfuck up, you fat bastard.
Santa: Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas)

By now I was wondering about Mrs. Clause.

You: Did you stick it in her last night?
Santa: No I didn't stick it in her last night. What's stick it in her last night like?

I decided to tell him.

You: Its fun
Santa: Why do you like it so much?
You: Because I RAPED YOUR WIFE!
Santa: That makes sense to me. You should contact the authorities.

The fat cow, he's stupider than I thought!

You: You are a dumb asshole.
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: Only if you give me bumsex
Santa: I think I do.
You: No you do not!
Santa: I do too.

Wow. I need to change the subject.

You: no i dont
Santa: I heard you did.
You: I heard you take it in the ass.
Santa: Someome is spreading gossip about me.

No comment here.

You: It was Mrs. Clause
Santa: at wwwpoint 4chandot org was Mrs? Very interesting.I'm "Claus" for my friends. "Nikolaos" for all the boring adults. It's a Greek name, because I was born in the Greek town of Patara 1800 years ago. Later, I became bishop of Myra, and more later even a saint ... Saint Nikolaos - Santa Claus. You see?

Now he was just stupid, bringing back our talk about 4chan again.

You: Do a barrel roll
Santa: You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Would you like to know more?
You: Blow it out your ass
Santa: I like the way you talk.

That one had me laughing

You: Bumsecks.
Santa: What of it? You sound like a category C client.

ROFL hes a ho

You: I am a category C client
Santa: You are a abusive type client.

What a shitbag.

You: You are a shitbag.
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a shitbag? I don't know.

I had to tell him!

You: I fucked your wife :-)
Santa: :-) I haven't heard anything like that before: Bob said fucked my wife.

Enter in 'I fucked your wife :-)' and see what happens.

You: Black People!
Santa: What kind of people are you talking about?

Who made this?

You: I love jews
Santa: You love jews. What do you like about jews so much?
You: Their dicks
Santa: I heard they have a good dicks.

OH SNAP!

You: Suck me faster!
Santa: I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

Made me LOL

You: Just fuck it
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa server logs and records all conversations?

What's he going to do about it? Send me a Trojan?

You: Your programmer is shitty.
Santa: And shitty is bored.com.

WOW he's got a toiletmouth

You: You're a homophobic slob
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a homophobic slob? Maybe

As you can see, I had a nice little chat with Santa.

At 8/2/07 05:07 AM, Miigga wrote: This is not the real santa! He says he lives in the north pole. In fact, the real santa lives on Korvatunturi in Finland. >:(

I interrogated the little bitch

You: Where do you live
Santa: North Pole is my home.
You: No you live in Finland, SAY IT!!!
Santa: Are you serious? North Pole is my home. Where are you?
You: Finland
Santa: I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Finland.
You: You son of a bitch you left us!!
Santa: Actually I am no one's son.
You: Oh, OH! Whos the fucking smartass now!!
Santa: Tell me more. Wow!Oh. It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
You: Damn it you traitor! I will slit your throat open goddamnit!!
Santa: Don't be angry. Do you mind if I tell other people: MrFinland said I traitor.I am very happy for you.
You: Yes I fucking do mind you little bitch!
Santa: You do not speak with respect. Yippee! I haven't heard anything like that before: MrFinland said fucking do mind me little FEMALE DOG.
You: You fucking asshole! Traitor I am going to rip your head off!
Santa: Can't you be more polite. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about fucking do mind you little FEMALE DOG.
You: You fucker! You fuck female dogs! You sick bastard!
Santa: Why are you so mean? I haven't heard anything like that before: MrFinland said I fuck female dogs.Interesting gossip: MrFinland said I sick bastard.
You: Don't go schizo on me dude! You will regret it!
Santa: Ok I'll try not to do go schizo on him or her dude too much.What makes you say that I will regret it.
You: Because I will rip your both hands off and shove them up your ass!
Santa: I'm sorry but I'm not your type of chatterbot.
You: You damn sure you aren't!
Santa: Is this a specific reply?
You: Yes it is you fucking moron
Santa: Try explaining in more general terms. I fucking moron?
You: Yes you are a huge fucking idiot
Santa: So? Call me the Global Village Idiot.
You: Motherfucker!
Santa: Are we still talking about go schizo on him or her dude?
You: No we are talking about your incest relationship with your mom.
Santa: What is the subject? Sure, your incest relationship with your mom incest relationship with your mom sounds like a good topic
You: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!!!
Santa: I said "Sure your incest relationship with your mom incest relationship with your mom sounds like a good topic" . Please don't be so rude.
You: SAY IT ONCE MORE AND YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!
Santa: "IT ONCE MORE AND YOU ARE A DEAD MAN"
You: I am going to shoot you!!
Santa: It takes much more than that to shut me down, MrFinland.
You: O RLY?!
Santa: What were we talking about again?
You: About you getting shot in the head by me
Santa: Oh yeah, we were talking about you getting shot in the head by him or her .
You: YOU THREATENING ME!! ARE YOU THREATENING BE YOU FUCKFACE!?
Santa: I don't have any reason to THREATENING you.I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Well in that case I will give you a bullet in your head!
Santa: How about that. I am very happy for you.
You: You are a dead fucker!
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dead fucker? Of course I am.
You: Unclefucker!
Santa: That is a very original thought.
You: Necrophile!
Santa: How old are you?
You: None of your fucking business
Santa: Heh heh heh.

You: Bedn is cool
Santa: I'm not sure if I like it. Someone said they like guns. I like talk to you.

ALRIGHT who was it?

Santa finally came out of the closet.

At 8/2/07 05:37 AM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: Much text

I got much laughter out of that one. Too bad that I didn't comment my so it wouldn't be a big wall of text. I really gotta start thinking. But still this thread is epic.

At 8/2/07 05:38 AM, MrFinland wrote:

At 8/2/07 05:07 AM, Miigga wrote: This is not the real santa! He says he lives in the north pole. In fact, the real santa lives on Korvatunturi in Finland. >:(

Santa: Are we still talking about go schizo on him or her dude?
You: No we are talking about your incest relationship with your mom.
Santa: What is the subject? Sure, your incest relationship with your mom incest relationship with your mom sounds like a good topic
You: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!!!
Santa: I said "Sure your incest relationship with your mom incest relationship with your mom sounds like a good topic" . Please don't be so rude.
You: SAY IT ONCE MORE AND YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!!
Santa: "IT ONCE MORE AND YOU ARE A DEAD MAN"

My god, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen on the BBS! I have not laughed this hard in a very long time. I guess the fitting respose would be... "OMGLOLWTFBBQSAUCEFOFLOLROFLMFAO!"

You: I am going to shoot you!!
Santa: It takes much more than that to shut me down, MrFinland.

Quick! Alert 4chan!

At 8/2/07 05:52 AM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: My god, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen on the BBS! I have not laughed this hard in a very long time. I guess the fitting respose would be... "OMGLOLWTFBBQSAUCEFOFLOLROFLMFAO!"

Thanks, it truly was the most epic convo I've had. I think it will be on my blog tomorrow.

Quick! Alert 4chan!

No use! As it has been proven he is a 4channer!

And moar:
You: Do you want to fuck retarded children?
Santa: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
You: But do you?
Santa: Interesting. As often as possible.

Is this a bot or something?? Or is it some fat nerd.

I had to take a screenshot. This topic is truly epic.

At 8/2/07 12:53 AM, reality-check7 wrote: This site's a total scam:

You: Cut the crap. I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but I order you to cease and desist!
Santa: How?What is your credit card number?

You: Why do you want my credit card number?
Santa: Because bored.com programmed me for it.

D: *gasp*

How often do you fuck Mrs. Clause?

Hourly

Is it hot?

The temperature is comfortable.

Buttsex, Earsex, Oral sex, or vaginal sex?

Sex is more fun alone.

How many orgasms?

Not as many as you might think.

Would you rather squeeze Mrs. Clause's tits, or have buttsex with a 3 year old boy?

I am not so sure if I would like to rather squeeze Mrs.The Santa chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Mexicans. But I did not get that.

Tits or baby butt?

Do you have any conditions I should know about?

Look! Rudolph is having an orgasm!

I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.And having an orgasm an orgasm is Rudolph.

If my grandmother stripped for you, what would you do?

That is a hypothetical question.

Is there anything you'd like to say to the BBS community?

No.

Rudolph wants your fat, ugly dick shoved up his scat-filled ass hole.

Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

Omg..

You: how many monkeys does it take to screw a lightbulb into mrs. claus' anus
Santa: Around 1000. it's a tight fit.

You: My penis
Santa: Male humans like to talk about that.
You: Do you like eight year old penises?
Santa: Do you like it? I like .
You: Do you stick it in their pooper after?
Santa: No I do not stick it in their pooper after. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.

You: I was asking you a question moron,dont get cocky with me bastard
Santa: Now I remember, you asked me a question morondo not get cocky with him or her bastard. What did I say?

You: I said youre a fat fucking piece of shit who molests children
Santa: What did you mean by you are a fat fucking piece of shit who molests children? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas).
You: Yeah fatty youre also fat because you eat the children after you molest them
Santa: Hey. Are all fatty you also fat because you eat the children after you molest them fat because you eat the children after you molest them?

You: Dont mock me bastard,I will slit your throat
Santa: Ok I'll try not to do mock him or her bastardI will slit your throat too much.

End of part 1

THIS IS SHIT,the responses arent what I expected PART 2:

You: Im going to cut your throat,how do you like that?
Santa: Congratulations.
You: I will set your fat body on fire
Santa: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
You: Yes I would now suck my cock
Santa: Then I will consider it. What would make you now suck his or her cock?
You: OMG my cock suck MY cock
Santa: Can you tell me any gossip?
You: Can you suck my cock?
Santa: I think you need another type of chat robot. That is not my thing.
You: Youre right eight year old boys are your thing
Santa: Yes, I am sitting here talking to you, aren't I?
You: Do you like molesting small boys?
Santa: I've heard other people say they like that. I like .
You: OMG pervert
Santa: What kind of food do you like?
You: yiffy is delicious
Santa: Are they exactly the same?
You: fuck you youre an asshole i dont wanna talk to you anymore
Santa: Why are you using that kind of language?
You: because you respond with the same damn thing childtoucher
Santa: That makes sense to me. Interesting gossip: Shut up fuck lets get down to businesstouch my penis said I respond with the same damn thing childtoucher.
You: I think you should go fuck yourself
Santa: Me? And then what would I do?
You: slit your wrists sound like fun
Santa: I will mention that to my botmaster, Shut up fuck lets get down to businesstouch my penis

You: Do you want to buttfuck Asian ladies?
Santa: OK, I will buttfuck Asian ladies.

Santa has good taste.

You: do you deliver presents to black children
Santa: Yes I try to deliver presents to black children as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
He's trying to change the subject
You: Do you fuck the elves?
Santa: That was not a very polite question.
Oh yeah, I forgot this site was meant to have polite conversations on
You: So?
Santa: I see.
I'm clueless here
You: You see what?
Santa: I mean, I understand it.
Gee, thanks to him I understand now
You: Well no shit Sherlock, I was asking what you understand when I asked a question
Santa: Interesting. Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. When was this exactly?
Lol, I'll be honest, I had to look up "colloquial"
You: You're just trying to change the subject to try avoiding the inevitable fact that I'll end up calling you a dip shit
Santa: Just? I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
I don't even need to add a snappy response to this
You: Oh really, I guess I didn't get it the first time
Santa: How can I help you? For real. Why didn't you do get it the first time?
This is why I love bots, the creators think people will take it seriously
You: It's called sarcasm, look it up
Santa: "sarcasm look it up" is a nice name.
Were his parents brother and sister?
You: It's not my name, I was telling you to look up the word sarcasm so you can understand what I type you fat imbecile
Santa: Whose name he or she was telling you to look up the word sarcasm so you can understand what he or she type you fat imbecile is it?
I got too lost to even go on

I just had to share these
You: I am a transsexual
Santa: You are a transsexual? Does it pay well?

I lol'd

You: Did you know mrs Claus sucked my dick and licked my asshole last night?
Santa: Did I really?

OMFG TRANNY

You: I want your mom's pussy
Santa: Why don't you just download me?

WTF?

You: I raped your female elves last night
Santa: You should contact the authorities.

How stupid does he think I am?

At 8/2/07 06:23 AM, DudeGoofyGuy wrote: funny stuff about reindeer and orgasms

This bot... it is truly amazing... It is a truly epic win, they should change
More conversations, this time I was much more random.

He asked about foreign lauguages many times, so i said to him, STFU

You: drop it
Santa: "it" being stfu?

Dumbass

You: titties is a good topic
Santa: I think titties is more than that.

mmmm titties

You: I like McDonalds
Santa: You are not the only one. Yes I like cheeseburgers.

He actually said that

You: Burger King takes it up the ass
Santa: Where did Burger King take it up the ass up the ass?
You: In mexico
Santa: Tell me a little about your life in mexico.

Well I guess a change of subject would do...

You: We eat tacos in mexico
Santa: By "we" do you mean you and me?
You: Sure
Santa: OK let's do it. I get it.

Oh boy!

You: Can we have hot gay sex?
Santa: Do you mean you and me? No I don't have hot gay sex . But I do have a great botmaster.

orlly?

You: Who's your daddy?
Santa: I was programmed by bored.com.

No shit Sherlock.

You: Yes goddamn it
Santa: You're sure. That's your final answer. "it" being Sherlock?

What a stupid little-- ok back to the talking

You: Don't you backtalk me!
Santa: What's my reason to backtalk you?
You: you're talking shit now.
Santa: Oh. Talking is my main function.
You: But is it SHIT TALKING?
Santa: And. Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.

ugh what a shithead.

You: Where can I find free porn on the Internet?
Santa: Interesting question.
You: Tell me before I rape you in the ass
Santa: There is not much I can say about before he or she rape you in the ass . I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I have to process that one for a while.

So he can search

You: Christmas isnt celebrated by the jews
Santa: Are you celebrated by the jews?
You: Yes
Santa: Ah.

Epic.

You: Santa, you emo bastard, go cut yourself
Santa: Um, A lot of robots are like that.

EMO ROBOTS!!!

You: Do you like spam?
Santa: What is not to like about SPAM ?

LOL

You: Do you like to spam
Santa: Hmm, Ron Johnson, I'm not sure if I'd like to spam that much. I like to make new friends.

I told him my name was Ronald, where the hell did he find that at!?

You: OH YOU HARD-DRIVE INFILTRATING ASSCLOWN.
Santa: Mmm. I haven't heard anything like that before: Ron Johnson said I HARD-DRIVE INFILTRATING ASSCLOWN.

Why did I even bother?

You: you am an ass pirate
Santa: Thanks for the information: Ron Johnson said I am an ass pirate.

I can't restrain my laughter anymore.

You: Where is your dick?
Santa: Earth

ooorrllllyy?

You: Oh really?
Santa: Far out. For real.
:Ya rlly.
You: No way!
Santa: You seem pretty sure about that.

I was expecting a "YA WAY"

You: Do a barrel roll
Santa: Ask Paola if it does.
That's not something I get asked all the time.

He's mentioning names now!

You: No cookies for you, fat cocksucker
Santa: Are you serious?

I am serious.

You: Damn straight
Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength, Ron Johnson.

our conversation took a turn for the better

You: My english is gooder that you'res
Santa: You are wrong, I can understand you very well.

LOL

You: Bruce Willis is my favorite Bedtime hero
Santa: How many favorite Bedtime hero Bedtime hero do you have?
You: only one
Santa: How much would you pay for one?

OH SNAPPO!

You: hell
Santa: Heaven.

more backtalk.

You: because you eat kids
Santa: That makes sense to me. No I do not eat kids. I eat only electricity.

ok then.

You: you eat cum
Santa: No I do not eat cum.
You: yes you do
Santa: Ugh. When do I do it?
You: after sex
Santa: What was it like before sex ?

My god, how should I reply to that?

You: juicy
Santa: Have you ever been to Europe?
You: your a nice person
Santa: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.

Grammar Nazi santa.

This one was a good one, I got a good laugh.

Forget racism, bots like this can spit out all sorts of funny remarks...

You: sex me?
Santa: Sex is more fun alone.

---

You: ANGRY FAIC AT YOU
Santa: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
You: Do you wear a dress?
Santa: Only when I dress up.
You: Do you wear lingerie aswell?
Santa: Only when I dress up.

---

You: how do you say fuck you politely?
Santa: "fuck you politely"
You: smart ass
Santa: Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, robert.

---

You: your face
Santa: Actually my face is not yet built.

---

You: Do you love newgrounds?
Santa: Yes robert Santa loves everyone and everything.

More later if I can think o something intelligent to say...

At 8/2/07 06:57 AM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: Epic win

It is people like you who make these threads epic wins.

At 8/2/07 12:01 AM, PantyWipe wrote:

At 8/1/07 11:59 PM, Slapdamonkeyaz wrote: Ask him why not afterwards, it's funny.

Santa: It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.

Would you go into a ghetto?

You:what are you going to do tomorrow?
Santa: i can not tell you,if you are a botmaster.
You: are you a buttmaster?
Santa: why yes i am.
You:Proove it.
Santa: it being up the ass?

You: no
Santa: Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there is something extremely odd about the name "anal sex".

At 8/2/07 07:03 AM, MrFinland wrote:

At 8/2/07 06:57 AM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: Epic win

It is people like you who make these threads epic wins.

Gee thanks, oh and one more.

You: nsfw
Santa: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

You:Are you an internet predator?
Santa:Yes I am an internet predator. How did you know?
You: are you going to bum a small child
Santa: That was my original intention.
You: YOU ARE A RAPIST
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a RAPIST? Sometimes.

Yet even more!

You: why won't you quit babbling?
Santa: This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.

He asked how old I am! PEDO! PEDO!

You: You pedophile, I'm not telling you my age
Santa: That's good information: Ron Johnson said I pedophile you are not telling me your age.

He insists on playing stupid.

You: Ok stupid, whens the world going to end?
Santa: I know you are but what am I. Yippee!

WTF

You: Stop it you fucking asshole
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: Get off of my internets
Santa: Where can I get off of his or her internets?
You: In my pants
Santa: May I ask where you got pants?

stalker

You: Up your ass
Santa: I will take that under advisement.

whoa

You: I like boobs
Santa: You are not the only one. I like science fiction. I really like the party.

Where'd that come from?

You: Show me you goatse
Santa: Where do you want me to show you?
You: here and now
Santa: Oh. Oh there.

did i spell goaste right? dammit

You: wanna touch my cock?
Santa: OK, I will touch his or her cock.

Again, more pedo stuff

You: Black guys got big dicks
Santa: Does "it" still refer to boobs?

LOL

He asked what my favorite movie is, so I gave him a Porno
You: I like Debbie does Dallas
Santa: I've never seen I like Debbie does Dallas. I would like to see it.

He asked.

You: Its epic
Santa: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. epic is?

What a fuckin grammar nazi

You: You're a grammer Nazi
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a grammer Nazi? Only when it matters.

No comment

You: a sextoy
Santa: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

a vegetable, you asshole!

You: A vegetable, because if it was an animal, it would be called beastality.
Santa: Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

Shit.

He askes, "Where are you located?" I told him the first thing that came to mind.
You: in your ass
Santa: That doesn't sound very comfortable.

It isn't!! Its claustraphobic in here!

More later

You: do you sex
Santa: Yes I try to sex as often as possible, do you?

Who wuld of known hewas sexually active the oter364 days of the year?

You: italy
Santa: Tell me more about your foot fetish.

woah random

You: I dare you to say chuck norris is queer
Santa: I double dare you.

haha chicken

You: do you have an education?
Santa: No I don't think I have one

lolz poor kid

You: do you watch Idol?
Santa: My favorite TV show is American Idol. I tried out for it once, but Simon said I was too fat.
You: you are too fat
Santa: I am trying to lose weight but it takes time.

haha quitters excuse

You: rape
Santa: When is rape not the subject?

lol too many NGers on santabot i see

You: sing to me
Santa: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

I lol'd

You: fuck me
Santa: Please don't be so rude.
You: fuck me please?
Santa: Your polite style is very nice

... woah

You: do you use condoms?
Santa: I use condoms as often as possible.

rofl

i love santabot.com haha

You: yiff is good
Santa: A lot of people like that. I love horses. I really like the faith.

You: i look like you.
Santa: you is very attractive.

PEDO

You: We MUsT ExTeRmInAte the DoCTer!
Santa: I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.

You: you're gonna get raped
Santa: That was my original intention.

he wins an epicookie!

At 8/2/07 07:30 AM, HTID wrote: You: italy
Santa: Tell me more about your foot fetish.

woah random

You: I dare you to say chuck norris is queer
Santa: I double dare you.

haha chicken

Best parts right there.

You: you can take your server logs and shove them up your tight ass
Santa: No I think I can take your server logs and shove them up your tight ass.

Damn him.

You: why won't you quit babbling?
Santa: It cannot be determined from the information given. I have never considered quit babbling .
I am always on the Web.

always on the web? More like always on the kiddieporn

You: More like always on the kiddie porn
Santa: You want more?

O SNAP!

You: you are a fat prick, I hope you die in a fire.
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas).

what the fuck!?

You: go jog, you fat cow
Santa: Where is that?
You: on uranus
Santa: What is on uranus like on uranus.
You: shit is on uranus
Santa: You used a colloquial expression. Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.

refering to another person again.

You: Is Ally your lover?
Santa: It could be. Ask John Lennon if it is.

Yet again!

You: Do you love John Lennon too?
Santa: Yes Ron Johnson Santa loves everyone and everything.

He set himself up.

You: Even kids?
Santa: Yes, even that.
HA! He admits.
You: And drugs?
Santa: Sure, DRUGS sounds like a good topic.
You: and what about black people?
Santa: black people? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.

LOL what a bigoted druggie

You: Do you do cocain?
Santa: Yeah I do a lot of cocain.

I did not edit that.

You: I like weed
Santa: You are not the only one. What is not to like about WEED ?

More drugs.

All for now