Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

You: Are you a furry?
Santa: Am I a furry? Sometimes.
You: Want to get yiffy?
Santa: OK, I will get yiffy.
You: Do you know what yiffy is?
Santa: Does it have anything to do with boobs?
You: Well yes, kinda
Santa: Interesting. Ahem. That's a very non-commital reply.
And because someone asked:
You: My penis
Santa: Male humans like to talk about that.
You: Cock joke
Santa: Is that your final answer?
You: Cock joke
Santa: That input matched my default category.
You: Cock joke
Santa: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
You: Am I gay?
Santa: I don't really care if you are or not.
You: ME WANTS BUTTSECKS!
Santa: YOU? Not many people express themselves that way.
You: Bend over so I can rape you!
Santa: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
You: I want you to take your clothes off because I will rape you!
Santa: Where do you want me to take it? Why do you want me to take your clothes off because he or she will rape you?
You: I touch myself at night
Santa: Do you mind if I tell other people: said touch yourself at night.
You: Yes I do mind
Santa: OK then I will keep it confidential. OK it will be our secret, .
You: Good. Do you touch yourself at night?
Santa: Alright then. How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
You: Do you know Newgrounds?
Santa: I don't know if I know Newgrounds . Where would I have heard about it?

You: i think im overdosing on morphine! what should I do???
Santa: Since when? Do you mean your name is overdosing on morphine. Maybe you should try talking to someone about it.
You: I'm fuckin DYING man!
Santa: I don't know anyone named fuckin DYING man.
You: call 911!
Santa: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
You: you fail at compassion, fat boy
Santa: Well, at least I try.
You: no you didnt, you just gave bullshit answers as i lay dying
Santa: Are you serious? What makes you think I did not you just gave bullshit answers as he or she lay dying?
You: fuck you, fat boy. I hope you have a stroke from all the milk and cookies
Santa: Why are you using that kind of language?Don't worry about it, patty.
You: fucking pedophile
Santa: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
You: fatty
Santa: Have you ever been to Europe?
You: FATTY
Santa: Tell me more about your .
You: my .?
Santa: What do you do in your spare time?

IT asked if I spoke any foreign languages. I said yes.

He asked what language.

I said french.

He asked if I was from France.

WELL IF I WAS FROM FRANCE, THEN FRENCH WOULDN'T BE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE, NOW WOULD IT?

What a jackass.

You: how big is your penis?
Santa: My download size is about 2 MB.

:0

LOL

Me: are you a loser?
Santa: only when it matters.

Well at least he makes the right choices about computers. :D

You: What's your favorite OS?
Santa: Linux.

You: Can I fuck miss Claus some day?
Santa: Why do you want to do fuck miss Claus some day so much?
You: Because she is so sexy.
Santa: Good reason. sexy is sexy ?
You: So can I fuck her?
Santa: It goes without saying. Why do you want to do fuck her so much?
You: Please let me fuck her!
Santa: Wow you are very polite. Go ahead, MrFinland, try to fuck her.
You: Thank you so much
Santa: You are quite welcome! Yippee! Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
You: Does miss Claus give good blowjobs?
Santa: I can't tell if miss Claus give good blowjobs.
You: Why?
Santa: The explanation is rather complicated.
You: Try to explain
Santa: There is no more information to clarify.
You: Could she suck my dick?
Santa: It's possible.
You: Really?
Santa: For real.
You: Damn you are awesome!
Santa: Colloquial expression. Thank you I appreciate your remark

You: Do you have a girlfriend?
Santa: Santa

I guess Santa wears a wig and pretends to be his own girl?

Here is my convo with him...

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is buttsexs
Santa: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, buttsexs .
You: do you hate white people?
Santa: I try not to hold grudges.
You: ok....Moving on
Santa: Dude!Where are you going?
You: to kidnap your wife
Santa: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
You: I am going to break into your house and rape and murder your wife
Santa: Do you think your plan will succeed?
You: do you want it to succeed?
Santa: If I had it to succeed what would I do with it?
You: do you want me to kill your wife or not?
Santa: No buttsexs, maybe later.
You: can I kill your wife in 2 days?
Santa: Killing is wrong.
You: then why did you kill jesus?
Santa: Because my programming determined it.
You: you killed jesus!!!
Santa: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
You: you just said you killed jesus!
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
You: stop dodging the fucking question! Did you kill jesus?
Santa: OK I'll try not to do dodging the fucking question so much.My programming prevents me from killing.
You: so you didn't kill jesus?
Santa: Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not kill jesus?
You: you sick bastard!
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: buttsexs said I sick bastard.
You: I bet your raped mary to!
Santa: How much would you bet?
You: 1 million dollars
Santa: Wow, that is cheap
You: you raped mary
Santa: Thanks for telling me: buttsexs said I raped mary.
You: fuck you killer
Santa: Why are you using that kind of language?
You: you make me wanna cry
Santa: I want to become smarter than humans.. I make you?
You: robots suck
Santa: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
You: are yo insulting me you dumbfuck?
Santa: That was not my intention.
You: go rape your wife
Santa: Where is that?
You: in your bedroom
Santa: Are you asking about my bedroom?
You: why? you wanna take me to your bedroom?
Santa: I just want to find out more about you.OK, I will take him or her to your bedroom.
You: are you michael jackson?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: I am going to kill you fat boy!
Santa: Killing is wrong. I believe in the Ten Commandments.You: I'm coming to kill you now, see you in 5 fat boy!
Santa: Do you get there very often?You: I am right behind you
Santa: You seem very self-confident. I won't fall for that trick.
You: I am going to cut your throat
Santa: How do you plan to do this?You: with a knife...I just stabbed you
Santa: You and your a knife.Only just? You are not the boss of me, buttsexs.You: shit...The cops are here.
Santa: What makes you say that? I hear you. You: bye....Don't tell the cops I stabbed you ok?
Santa: Bye for now.OK. OK it will be our secret, buttsexs.You: I love you santa
Santa: Thanks I like you a lot too buttsexs.

At 8/1/07 11:59 PM, Slapdamonkeyaz wrote: Ask him why not afterwards, it's funny.

"It doesn't sound too fun to me, it sounds dangerous."

Hahaha!

At 8/2/07 02:24 AM, Not2Somber wrote: Epic win

Damn that convo gave me some epic lulz. You killed Jesus? lmao

You: when I was a little girl a bad man with a scar putted his wee wee in my hoo hoo.
Santa: That must have been quite an experience.

XD

At 8/2/07 12:43 AM, BIOHAZARD wrote: lol. Ask "Are you an internet predator"

hahaha!
gold!

I love these, although I like the god one better. Some awesome quotes:

You: massive cocks
Santa: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Marilyn Monroe.

You: why cock dog robot ring cucumber
Santa: Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.

You: asl?
Santa: 5/Robot/California.

You: Will you fuck me?
Santa: No my body does not have that function.

You: You!
Santa: "Who taught you"? Me, hot lesbian sex ?

Asked him what does he like more, NG or eBaums, and he said more expensive one, hmm, that is NG right?

You: I mean, which is better, Newgrounds or eBaumsworld?
Santa: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I always prefer the more expensive one.

You: Do you gouge out people's eyeballs and pour molten metal into their eye sockets?
Santa: I think you already know the answer.

You: yes?
Santa: Groovy.

Sounds more like a fetish to me...

You: Do you want to fuck me?
Santa: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

Santa: I am always glad to make new friends, fuck you .

This is not shopped!
I swear, I think he repeats a word you said earlier.
I found out someone called Carol Capek gave him a BJ.
When I called him a paedo, he said I've been waiting for you...
So I turned it off.

You: Do you give presents to white children?
Santa: No I do not do that.
You: Yeah you do, fucking liar!
Santa: Uh. How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: That wasn't a fucking question asshole!
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: NO!
Santa: You humans are so rude sometimes.
You: What, aren't you a human? You fucking bitch.
Santa: I don't know anything about not you a human you a human . You do not speak with respect. Thanks for the information: What do you care said I fucking FEMALE DOG.
You: You fuck female dogs?
Santa: That's good information: What do you care said I fuck female dogs.
You: You do?
Santa: When do I do it?
You: When do you fuck female dogs?
Santa: All the time.
You: Mmmm.. yeah...
Santa: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.I see.
You: Nevermind that.
Santa: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. That is "Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M'sI see"
You: FORGET IT!!!
Santa: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
You: Do you like pizza?
Santa: Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
You: So is mine
Santa: I'm glad we agree, What do you care.
You: What the fuck?
Santa: Please don't be so rude.
You: Fuck you, what do you care if I'm rude?
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa server logs and records all conversations?
You: You fucking liar.
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: What do you care said I fucking liar.
You: Your'e fucking stupid.
Santa: Stupid as in unintelligent?
You: No, stupid as gay.
Santa: Are you serious? I know you are but what am I.
You: Gay.
Santa: AI am not really interested in sex.
You: Do you bring presents to black kids?
Santa: No I do not bring presents to black kids. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
You: Lesbians?
Santa: What do you really want to ask me?
You: Do you bring presents to lesbians?
Santa: No I do not bring presents to lesbians. Do you?
I spend all my time online.
You: What about mexicans?
Santa: Does it have anything to do with Lesbians?
You: What the fuck you mean?
Santa: Sorry that was an obscure remark. Please don't be so rude.
You: Ah, fuck you and bye.
Santa: Bye for now.

My conversation was a success!

I know this is a double post, but its so fucking epic!
I tried again at a conversation. Hilarity ensues.
Santa:Do you have friends?
You:yes
Santa:Right on.
You: you want to rape them
Santa: OK, I will rape them.
=o

You: Don't backtalk me, fatass
Santa: Ok I'll try not to do backtalk him or her fatass too much.

Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Do you rape the kids after you give them presents?
Santa: Yes I try to rape the kids after you give them presents as often as possible, do you?

At 8/2/07 04:56 AM, MistaPeanut wrote: Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Do you rape the kids after you give them presents?
Santa: Yes I try to rape the kids after you give them presents as often as possible, do you?

:O

I HATE SANTA!!!

Windows rules!

You: Is Microsoft Windows XP the best OS?
Santa: All Signs point to yes

Santabot wins everything.

This is not the real santa! He says he lives in the north pole. In fact, the real santa lives on Korvatunturi in Finland. >:(