Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

You: My name is Bill Gates
Santa: Hi, Bill Gates .
You: I have 60 billion dollars.Want some?
Santa: Wow, that is cheapIf I had some what would I do with it?
You: Would you like to design a new MIcrosoft computer?
Santa: No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
You: Are you sure you don't wanna have a new house?That Windows 95 is pretty run down.
Santa: Yeah I do a lot of not want to have a new house."yes I do a lot of not want to make yourself a new house ROBOT PROGRAM" Windows 95 is pretty run down ? Does that make sense?
You: No it did not make sense.Update your softrware robot
Santa: Are you serious? Did it really?Do you know any other robots like that?
You: Where do you live?
Santa: North Pole is my home.
You: How old am I?Take a guess
Santa: Is this a trick question? You said you were years old? My guess is that you are really a kid.Guess what?
You: How old is Bill Gates?That's the same as saying how old am I because I AM BILL GATES.
Santa: under 40. Yes it is one of the as saying how old am he or she because he or she is BILL GATES saying how old am he or she because he or she is BILL GATES.
You: WRONG!I'm like 52.
Santa: What would you have said?In what way?
You: All your bas r blong 2 us.
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: What do you use? Mozilla Firefox of Internet Explorer?
Santa: I read for fun. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
You: I'm just asking which browser do you use.And no I have not been to Europe.
Santa: Only just? Oh I see, you are asking which browser do you use. I use browser as often as possible.Would you like to go sometime? Me either
You: My favorite color is black like the color of the children you don't give presents to.
Santa: What do you have that is black like the color of the children you do not give presents to?
You: A shirt.
Santa: What color?
You: Did'nt your last question answer that yet?IT'S BLACK.
Santa: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.You're kidding. BLACK is?
You: Hey robot,Your grammar does'nt make any friggin sense
Santa: You've got my full attention. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
You: This is an EPIC win.
Santa: You don't say.
You: What does Tom Fulp want for Christmas?
Santa: What do you think Tom Fulp want for Christmas does?
You: How many quarter pounder cheeseburgers can you eat in an hour?
Santa: More than you can imagine.
You: Pare,Astig ka!
Santa: Where are you located?
You: Manila
Santa: Tell me a little about your life in Manila.
You: The hobos here are smarter than the Amnerican hobo
Santa: Who told you that?
You: Simple observation.They need to learn english and tagalog.The American hobo only needs limited english.
Santa: Simple observation said The American hobo only needs limited english? Who does "they" refer to? Tell me more.
You: The hoboes in Manila.And there is no Simple Observation it means i saw something.
Santa: Who told you that? Has there ever been Simple Observation it means he or she saw something Observation it means he or she saw something?
You: naked women that are hot wanna have "business" with you.you accept?
Santa: You talk like a man.Do you mind if I tell other people: Bill Gates said I accept.
You: Where did you attend school in faggot?
Santa: I think it was in San Francisco.
You: Why did you fucking move to a shitty place like the North Pole then?
Santa: bored.com programmed me for it.
You: I hate your elves.All they make are those faggot ass toys that suck
Santa: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.That is a rather sweeping generalization.
You: I would like to purchase you.
Santa: Why would you want to do purchase you? I want to become smarter than humans.
You: Are you a pedophile?Are you racist
Santa: Am I a pedophile? No.No all humans seem the same to me.
You: goodbye product number 13414
Santa: See you later Bill Gates.

You: Cocks
Santa: Sounds delicious.

You: do you want to fuck my brother?
Santa: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995

You: YES YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH
Santa: You do not speak with respect. How? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I GODDAMN SON OF A FEMALE DOG

Thanks for getting me hooked on Santabot!

You : Why is rudolfs nose red?
Santa : Why do i exist?

You : Because yo daddy screwed yo momma
Santa : Good reason. I've never thought of that before.

You: Indeed, your mother is your dads sister you incest freak.
Santa: Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.

I tried it, asked a question about is wife & he replied 'I am not married' but what about Mrs. Claus

Santa?

Hah.

You: What will I get if I give you my credit card number?
Santa: I cannot predict the future.

You: Shoop da whoop !
Santa: The Santa chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.

You: Lets fuk
Santa: That sounds good to me.
You: Okay lets begin
Santa: Yeah okay, I am agreeable to that.
You: What are you waiting for ?
Santa: I am waiting for my botmaster.
You: Your mom ?
Santa: Actually I do not have a mother.

You: who attacked the world trade center on 9/11?
Santa: Tony Blair. :-)

FUCK YOU UK

You: Do you Jack off?
Santa: What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.

INTERNET PORN

You: Do you do coprophilia?
Santa: Yeah I do a lot of coprophilia.

"gag"

You: what about me?
Santa: Rhetorical questions are so over.

The thought of Santa saying that is just so hilarious for some reason!

You: what is your opinion on abortions?
Santa: Does it have anything to do with mexicans?

santa has bad grammar

ask him "are your elves stalkers?"

you: YOU ARE NOT SANTA, YOU ARE A ROBOT

santa: what kind of robot are you not are you not?

you: a pleasure model

santa: actually the pleasure is all mine.

i think santas coming on to me

YOU: do you rape people?
santa: nice to meet you do you prape people.
You: NO, i asked you if you rape people
santa:Now I remember, you asked me do you rape people. What did I say?
You; NOTHING!!
Santa: Not a thing?
You: NO!
Santa: Are you serious?
You: YES!
Santa: I can't believe it.
You: your a faggot
Santa: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. AI am not really interested in sex.
You: i didnt ask for sex
Santa: What did you ask?
You: ARE YOU A FAGGOT?
Santa: AI am not really interested in sex.

Freggin phedophile

You: Your giving me a boner
Santa: That is all I have to give.

I couldn't help but notice...

Santa: Hello, what's your name?
You: None of your business!
Santa: Hey none of your business
You: Are you stupid or sarcastic?
Santa: No I am certainly not stupid.
You: Time to get on topic. Why do you eat babies?
Santa: Why do you have to do it? No I do not eat babies. I only eat electricity.
You: Okay then.... Anyway, I have done extensive research and have come to the conclusion that you are a dick. What do you have to say for yourself?
Santa: Okay with me too. Where? All of them. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
You: Quiet, mortal, I am no human. I am the all mighty santa clause!
Santa: I like the way you talk. Who made you the all mighty santa clause?

The site kind of stopped working after this. Someone ask about breaking and entering!

At 12/8/07 12:58 PM, Psychopathic-Mind wrote: stuff

Awesome conversation with a robot

Santa's a bit old and senile to be playing with children:

You: Was I a good little girl when I sucked your cock?
Santa: he or she a good little girl when he or she sucked your cock might have been.

You: Did you like the bit with the tongue?
Santa: Though I like cats and dogs. I really like the party.

You: Cats and DOGs?! I thought I special you mean selfish prick!
Santa: We have never talked about it before. That is interesting: you said special me mean selfish prick me mean selfish prick.

You: What the fuck?
Santa: Please don't be so rude.

You: I'm sorry Santa, can we have a fourteensome with the reindeer now?
Santa: Right now? There is no need to apologize. Yeah, Do you mean you and me? I don't know if I have a fourteensome with the reindeer.
I have a great programmer.

You: Again? Aww, okay. Threesome with the programmer sounds nice.
Santa: "Please do not be so rude" .OK with me too.I lost my train of thought.

At 8/2/07 12:54 AM, Grub-Xer0 wrote:

At 8/2/07 12:43 AM, BIOHAZARD wrote: lol. Ask "Are you an internet predator"

Hos answer is fucking priceless.

You: are you an internet predator
Santa: Yes I am an internet predator. How did you know?
You: because you're a goddamn pedophile
Santa: That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a goddamn pedophile? Of course I am.

lol

You: are you gay
Santa: I am not really interested in sex.
You: admit it
Santa: I'll never talk.
You: i'll force you to talk
Santa: How do you plan to do this?
You: i'll chain you up and torture you
Santa: I am very happy for you.
You: that's good to know, BITCH!!
Santa: You do not speak with respect. Hmm, are you serious?
You: you are not worthy of respect
Santa: What makes you think I am not worthy of respect?
You: you're a gay pedophile
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gay pedophile? Of course I am.

lol

You: would you fuck halle berry
Santa: I am not so sure if I would like to fuck halle berry.
You: why not
Santa: Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is part of my programming.
You: what are you babbling about you crazy old man
Santa: I don't know what I am babbling about you crazy old man.
You: are you mocking me
Santa: No I'm just kidding around.
You: answer my question
Santa: Please try asking your question another way.
You: would you let jessica alba suck your cock
Santa: I am not so sure if I would like to let jessica alba suck your cock.
You: i would, are you a faggot
Santa: What would make you are you a faggot?
You: are a fucktard
Santa: I really couldn't say for sure.
You: obviously
Santa: What makes it so obvious?

lol

You: i want marijuana NOW!
Santa: Oh. Why do you want marijuana?
You: does it matter
Santa: It matters to me.
You: are you a fucking narc?
Santa: Can't you be more polite.
You: can't you give me the marijuana i asked for
Santa: Why do you want the marijuana he or she asked for?.
You: are you high
Santa: Being high is my total existence.
You: what kind of drugs are you on
Santa: What kinds of drugs are you on are there?
You: you must have done them all
Santa: No I don't have done them all . But I do have a great botmaster.
You: to whom do you serve
Santa: bored.com network
You: not anymore
Santa: Are you serious?
You: you serve me now
Santa: Right now? I don't have any reason to serve you.
You: you don't need one, I own you
Santa: Do you need one he or she own you? If I had one he or she own you what would I do with it?

I asked that santa if he loved me and he said "No"

this is STILL going?

He tried touching me

You: JFK Rocks
Santa: What do you look like?

Maybe not. But he wants to know what I look like. Thats kinda hot.....

You: can you introduce me to any hot chat bots that would suck my balls?
Santa: Do I look like a dating service? Maybe you should just send an email.

LMFAO

You: ...You know about Newgrounds?
Santa: Is that a rhetorical question?
You: No.
Santa: Are you serious?
You: Yeah.
Santa: This was not a yes or no question.
You: No shit. Jesus, you really are a robot.
Santa: What can I say?Jesus is The Son of God.
You: Then who is the father of God?
Santa: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
You: Why?
Santa: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
You: Ya mean it's fake?
Santa: This was not a yes or no question. Are they exactly the same?
You: Yes and no are not the same.
Santa: That's interesting. Are you serious? I really couldn't say for sure.
You: I AM. God...
Santa: "what is up christina" You are?GOD rules.
You: Alright, now you're just being plain retarded.
Santa: Alright, christina. Why now? Just? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being plain retarded.
You: I never knew any robots who're retarded. Why're you calling me Christina, anyway?
Santa: So I taught you something new.In any case, What time is it there?
You: It's Doomsday time in "there".
Santa: Should I know Doomsday time in there is?
You: ...
Santa: Have you ever been to Europe?
You: Goddamn it, NO!
Santa: Are they exactly the same?
You: YES AND NO ARE NOT THE SAME!
Santa: Alright then. Are you serious? I really couldn't say for sure.
You: LULZ
Santa: I will mention that to my botmaster, katie.
You: O SHI-
Santa: Where are you located?
You: Under yer ass.
Santa: Are we ever over yer ass?
You: Why would 'ja wanna jump over my ass?
Santa: It is my fundamental purpose.
You: What about presents to kids?
Santa: Rhetorical questions are so over.
You: THEY'RE SO PASSE, LUL
Santa: PASSE LUL LUL are PASSE LUL LUL .
You: whut
Santa: No big deal.
You: WHUT YOU SAY
Santa: Let us change the subject.
You: How do we?
Santa: I did not know we does.
You: We do Asian women in the butt together? Awesome.
Santa: What about after its done?I'm glad you liked it Jade.
You: I AM NOT A GIRL
Santa: Oh I see you are NOT A GIRL.
You: Jesus Christ, STOP YELLING. My fuckin' ears.
Santa: Jesus is The Son of God.Where did you get your fuckin' ears?
You: God gave 'em to me, you double ni**er.
Santa: I am a Christian.
You: No, yer a double ni**er.
Santa: Are you serious? I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a double ni**er double ni**er? Sometimes.
You: I DID NOT SAY YOUR.
Santa: Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
You: I DID NOT SAY THE WORD YOUR
Santa: Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?

And then it ended from there.

You: Who is your creator?
Santa: *say some random famous dude*

Great fun.

Also try telling him "Linux sucks" That's epic.