I fucking hate Dennis Miller.

[Cuppa-LettuceNog]

No, really; fuck Dennis Miller.

For anyone who is lucky enough never to have heard this failed Football Commentator/Actor/Comedian, I think you truly blessed. For those of you don't know his schtick, he begins by saying "Now, I don't mean to get on a rant here..." (that statement being a perfect example of foreshadowing, lying, and douchebaggery) then doing the comedic equivalent of a 10 hour filibuster. If you can sit through his 25 minute diatribe until the end, you'll be greeted with a startling revelation; what he was saying wasn't funny. It was just long. He actually has the balls to load his "Jokes" with so many long words that the audience has NO idea what he's saying, at which point they laugh and laugh and laugh to try and hide the fact that they are stupid, uneducated twats who spent the time they where supposed to spend studying and learning instead ferociously masturbating to foot cream commercials. Now, I could simply list the ways that Dennis Miller is a complete and utter failure at the game of Life, but instead I'll do something better; I'll give you an example of one of his rants. This is just about what you would expect to hear if you were to watch Dennis Miller attempt to make a joke.

"Now, babes and gentlemen, if you would so altruistically allot me the amount of time (of course, what is time but an esatz component of the philosophical quagmire that the modern homo sapien refers to as existence) so required for me to orally conjecture this facetious and farcical query, which is thus; why is it that the domesticated fowl decided to traverse to artificially constructed thoroughfare? The clarifying elucidation, as one could have possibly fathomed, is that the afore-mentioned fowl, who for the sake of this farce has seemingly been imbued with the human qualities of rational fore-thought, sought to attain a movement towards the opposite exteriority of the boulevard."

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Asshole.

[Blade-Sypher]

At 7/30/07 06:17 AM, Cuppa-LettuceNog wrote: No, really; fuck Dennis Miller.

You really hate this guy huh?

[Theslav]

Is he a AFL commentator?

pics please

[Cuppa-LettuceNog]

At 7/30/07 07:04 AM, Theslav wrote: Is he a AFL commentator?

pics please

Heres a picture of Miller, right after his 1995 conviction of satanically molesting and ritually murdering an 11 year old boy.

[Fat-Toppenglop]

no, fuck JACK THOMPSON

[HacknKill]

After reading this, I feel I truely am blessed to have not heard him.

[Strength]

You're right, I get it. You're the perfect person. So right. So wrong.

[Cuppa-LettuceNog]

At 7/30/07 11:29 AM, HacknKill wrote: After reading this, I feel I truely am blessed to have not heard him.

Believe me, you truly are.

[AwesomeX]

Were you just trying a maddox rant because it looked exactly like one. Except yours failed.

[zambota]

At 7/30/07 08:30 PM, AwesomeX wrote: Were you just trying a maddox rant because it looked exactly like one. Except yours failed.

Nice.

[Bovineoverlord]

You only hate him because he uses big words that you don't know. Dennis Miller doesn't make poop jokes like the kind you enjoy so much.

[Cuppa-LettuceNog]

At 7/30/07 08:30 PM, AwesomeX wrote: Were you just trying a maddox rant because it looked exactly like one. Except yours failed.

The rant out-dates the Hairy Armenian guy by a few hundred years. Fail.

[EvilerBowser1001]

Do you have a voodoo doll of him?
If so, poke his crotch!

[Markface]

I'm actually a fan of him. His views are interesting, intelligent and above all humerous.

Then again that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

[JackRabbitStudios]

Granted some of his work on his HBO show did lose me here and there, his comedy specials are pretty dead on when when it comes to being funny. Guy has a background in comedy longer than my dick, and is a nice kinda-sorta foil when it comes to Bill Mahr's humor.

[Blitzkrieg047]

Any relation to Frank Miller?

[capn-g]

He was funny back in the day but ever since he became the comedian cheerleader for the Bush administration his work has lost it's bite.

[Cuppa-LettuceNog]

At 8/1/07 04:25 AM, JackRabbitStudios wrote: Granted some of his work on his HBO show did lose me here and there, his comedy specials are pretty dead on when when it comes to being funny. Guy has a background in comedy longer than my dick, and is a nice kinda-sorta foil when it comes to Bill Mahr's humor.

Please. The only way that he's a "foil" to Bill Mahr's humor, is that Bill Mahr's humor is actually existent. Did you see the pathetic attempts at humor back on MNF? "The 49ers Hail Mary pass is denied! Seperation of Church and State!" EL OH FUCKING EL THAT IS SO FUHKNEE.

I really wasn't surprised when they did the survey that found him the least popular football commentator ever. And keep in mind, that includes Osama Bin Laddens brief stint with ESPN in the 80's.