Forum Topic: God is supposed to come back...lol

(536 views • 26 replies)
New Topic Post Reply

This topic is 1 page long.

<< < > >>
Elated

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:33 AM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

Ok, I am a grocery bagger and last Saturday my clerk that I bag for was looking extra-insane that day.

"You know what happens this year.." she said. I was like "No...."

"Well this year there is a Jewish holiday and apparently God is supposed to come back and save all the people that believe in him and kill all the people that dont and send them to hell."

I rofled and said "Are you serious? Are there signs?"

She replied with "Yes! Do you see these scanners we scan products on!? THEY ARE GOING TO PLANT THEM INSIDE YOUR AHAEAD AND PLANT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR WRISTS AND CONTROL YOU AND THIS IS ALL TOLD IN THE BIBLE THAT THE MARK OF THE BEAR WILL PREVENT US FROM GOING TO HEAVEN AND SEEING ALMIGHTY LORD!"

I gave her a doubtful look and she said "You dont believe (in God) do you?" I shook my head. She looked at me if I was a horrible person and I just smiled back. This woman was out of her mind.

Apparently sometime in September I am going to hell. Lawl.

Sept. 2 is my birthday.

God is supposed to come back...lol

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

Smokinggun64

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:35 AM

Smokinggun64 EVIL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 01/20/06

Posts: 1,315

I guess she saw the National Geographic (or discovery i cant remember which) on the Antichrist.

Fool me once...shame on you. Fool me twice...no one will ever find your body.
I kill threads.

BBS Signature

None

I-RULE-OVER-ALL

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:36 AM

I-RULE-OVER-ALL EVIL LEVEL 19

Sign-Up: 02/28/05

Posts: 4,282

they just say that because you do not beliene what they believe. when people say that to me I just ignore them.

feed the hungry All free here/ and here//check out my userpage
// Italian club

BBS Signature

Sad

Nike-Dunk

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:37 AM

Nike-Dunk NEUTRAL LEVEL 34

Sign-Up: 05/09/04

Posts: 4,226

Funny comic, but I don't believe your story.

5/10

Actually, Chuck Norris got level 60 on July 15, 2007.
Regarding the Female Posterior...

BBS Signature

None

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:38 AM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

Actually for once this is completely true.

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

I-RULE-OVER-ALL

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:40 AM

I-RULE-OVER-ALL EVIL LEVEL 19

Sign-Up: 02/28/05

Posts: 4,282

At 7/30/07 12:36 AM, I-RULE-OVER-ALL wrote: they just say that because you do not believe what they believe. when people say that to me I just ignore them.

sry I need to get used to this new keyboard

feed the hungry All free here/ and here//check out my userpage
// Italian club

BBS Signature

None

TheNewSocialites

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:45 AM

TheNewSocialites NEUTRAL LEVEL 05

Sign-Up: 07/29/07

Posts: 148

He's probably going to be a woman. I think if we did have a god and he was a dude, he'd marvel at the glory of beer and hang around and drink with everybody. Then there'd be the sex.

I mean, it would kinda suck being up there getting praised all the time while we're down here having great fun. Couldn't you imagine it? God sitting up there, looking out the window wishing he was with some humans. And it's raining.

I once went to bible camp. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before, the molestation, gay stuff, blah blah, but for the last time, no, it didn't happen much.

BBS Signature

None

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:46 AM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

Rofl its fine. My posting is really laggy on the BBS lately..

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

Frankafus-Studios

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:49 AM

Frankafus-Studios FAB LEVEL 12

Sign-Up: 05/21/06

Posts: 256

hell's not so bad, we can play ping pong.

BBS Signature

None

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 01:03 AM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

Exactly.

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

alien-killer1

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 01:04 AM

alien-killer1 LIGHT LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 01/20/06

Posts: 1,005

oh well i like the heat

there will never be peace in BBS as long as we hate each other, There are thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking the root DoMiNiC147

BBS Signature

Expressionless

Syzyde

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 01:06 AM

Syzyde LIGHT LEVEL 24

Sign-Up: 07/30/05

Posts: 4,565

Well, ironically, in the bible itself it says that only God knows when the end times will come, so we can't predict it.

A true Newgrounder.

BBS Signature

None

cellardoor6

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 01:11 AM

cellardoor6 DARK LEVEL 20

Sign-Up: 04/04/06

Posts: 12,003

At 7/30/07 12:33 AM, TheBeagle wrote: She replied with "Yes! Do you see these scanners we scan products on!? THEY ARE GOING TO PLANT THEM INSIDE YOUR AHAEAD AND PLANT MICROCHIPS IN YOUR WRISTS AND CONTROL YOU AND THIS IS ALL TOLD IN THE BIBLE THAT THE MARK OF THE BEAR WILL PREVENT US FROM GOING TO HEAVEN AND SEEING ALMIGHTY LORD!"

First of all, it's the mark of the beast, not the bear. Secondly, the microchip idea is not that far off. In fact, it already exists.

Yay, Obama won. Let's thank his supporters:
-The compliant mainstream media for their pro-Obama propaganda.
-Black Panthers for their intimidation of voters.

BBS Signature

None

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:11 PM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

Lol? Are you serious?

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

StoneGuy

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:14 PM

StoneGuy EVIL LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 12/30/03

Posts: 2,806

At 7/30/07 12:36 AM, I-RULE-OVER-ALL wrote: they just say that because you do not believe what they believe. when people say that to me I just ignore them.

you ignore then? i kill them

(fixed your spelling)


None

Rucklo

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:16 PM

Rucklo NEUTRAL LEVEL 30

Sign-Up: 10/11/04

Posts: 15,811

wtf, no "i'm back" threads.
god will be banned >:(


None

Kisuke

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/30/07 12:37 PM

Kisuke LIGHT LEVEL 39

Sign-Up: 11/29/03

Posts: 11,225

At 7/30/07 12:16 PM, Rucklo wrote: wtf, no "i'm back" threads.
god will be banned >:(

Slightly amusing but not. Loose.

The user God is rather dead himself as well.

All in all God is dead and no one cares. If there is a hell I'll see you there.

[ King of Hearts: Domon Kasshu - Anime Club ] :: [ Final Fantasy Club ]
XBL: Voidist / 20,500+ Gamer Score
Malice is my Sword, Rage my Armour & Anger my Shield.

BBS Signature

None

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/31/07 12:48 AM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

That was a sexy post.

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

k14pc

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/31/07 12:52 AM

k14pc NEUTRAL LEVEL 12

Sign-Up: 11/21/06

Posts: 1,117

At 7/30/07 01:11 AM, cellardoor6 wrote: Secondly, the microchip idea is not that far off. In fact, it already exists.

I'm scared now.

XBL: KillSquad14
Proof of my greatness|Porn

BBS Signature

None

Dropkicked

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/31/07 12:52 AM

Dropkicked LIGHT LEVEL 17

Sign-Up: 08/06/05

Posts: 5,660

At 7/30/07 12:37 AM, Nike-Dunk wrote: Funny comic, but I don't believe your story.

I like the way he made God black.

BBS Signature

None

CleansingFlame

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 7/31/07 12:59 AM

CleansingFlame LIGHT LEVEL 15

Sign-Up: 03/22/06

Posts: 3,659

So she was from some weird jewish made of crazy people?

If two or more people share a delusion, it becomes reality
Peeps//he's had a bad day :*[// Best. Diet. Ever.

BBS Signature

None

TheBeagle

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 8/1/07 01:29 AM

TheBeagle LIGHT LEVEL 11

Sign-Up: 10/28/05

Posts: 2,030

Say wha???

Hello, matey.

BBS Signature

None

Scotttheskaterr

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 8/1/07 01:30 AM

Scotttheskaterr FAB LEVEL 13

Sign-Up: 06/16/05

Posts: 3,692

At 8/1/07 01:29 AM, TheBeagle wrote: Say wha???

UNREASONABLE BUMP.
THIS DOES NOT ROUSE MY INTERESTS.


None

Must

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 8/1/07 01:41 AM

Must LIGHT LEVEL 03

Sign-Up: 02/12/07

Posts: 34

God already has already been here millions of times
but nobody gives a fuck, were to brainwashed to even know it.
only a few if not one person out of every 1,000 years gets to see him in the flesh.


Misunderstood

Grimscott

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 8/1/07 02:03 AM

Grimscott NEUTRAL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 05/25/07

Posts: 1,669

At 7/30/07 12:49 AM, Frankafus-Studios wrote: hell's not so bad, we can play ping pong.

The ball always catches on fire.

I hope Gamera smites you for your wicked ways.

BBS Signature

Winking

Anti-pie

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 8/1/07 02:17 AM

Anti-pie EVIL LEVEL 12

Sign-Up: 03/14/06

Posts: 2,701

At 8/1/07 01:41 AM, Must wrote: God already has already been here millions of times
but nobody gives a fuck, were to brainwashed to even know it.
only a few if not one person out of every 1,000 years gets to see him in the flesh.

riiiiiiight

My Xbox live name is Pil1ow PantsMETAL HELL

BBS Signature

None

Ultor

[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]

Reply To Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 8/1/07 02:46 AM

Ultor NEUTRAL LEVEL 39

Sign-Up: 12/30/03

Posts: 9,186

This isnt funny

Ultor- ''A brighter future and a better life''

BBS Signature

All times are Eastern Standard Time (GMT -5) | Current Time: 10:35 PM

<< Back

This topic is 1 page long.

<< < > >>

Forum Search

You need a Grounds Gold Account to post on the NG BBS! If you don't have one, click here to sign up now! It's fast, free, and easy — and opens up tons of great NG features!