I can't use my Penis.

[Luxury-Yacht]

I'm feeling down, guys. See, because of the size of my penis, I'm pretty sure that I can never have sex. No sane woman would want a penis of the size mine is to be inside her. It wouldn't be pleasing at all.

See, my penis is a very unusual size. It's so fucking huge, I'm pretty sure that it would never be able to fit in a human vagina. It just won't fucking fit, man. I will never be able to have intercourse with a woman. And anal sex is right out, too. I'd scramble her intestines like a cake mixer. I look like I'm straddling a fire hydrant.

Trying to fit my penis in a vagina would be like trying to fit a hot dog through a cheerio, or driving a car through a hula-hoop. You'd have better luck roasting a turkey in an Easy Bake oven. You may as well try to fit Andre the Giant's foot in baby shoes. Putting some kid's water wings on your neck, trying to wear a wedding band like a bracelet, or fitting the statue of liberty inside Old Faithful would be better bets. I imagine it would look like siamese twins trying to put on a too-small tee shirt. Any way you put it, my dick ain't getting any action anytime soon.

What I'm trying to say to you is that you should all cherish your small, atrophied, shriveled-up dicks and learn to love them, even if they are pitifully lilliputian. At least you could find a midget lady to have sex with.

[Lost-Wisdom]

Picture for the great justice to believe you.

[AshfordPride]

I would recommend finding a nice centaur woman to have sexual relations with. It's all the fun and ascetics of a woman with an accommodating horse vagina.

[Magic-Waffle]

At 7/23/07 03:31 PM, Luxury-Yacht wrote: It's so fucking huge, I'm pretty sure that it would never be able to fit in a human vagina. It just won't fucking fit, man.

Sure...

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 7/23/07 03:32 PM, Lost-Wisdom wrote: Picture for the great justice to believe you.

I would do it, but I can't fit the trunk of it into the frame.

[BladeHammer]

OH SHIT YOU SHUD MEET NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR SHE'LL TAKE ANYTHING SHE'S DESPERATE SAY YOUR MR. BING, MR. BADA BING LEAVE HER TO THE REST

[ArmouredDeath]

Cut the upper part off.

[Reaperyami]

Find the neighborhood slut.

[Number-One-Assassin]

Go to Africa and find yourself a nice elephant.

[X-Gary-Gigax-X]

You're a good man,

[TehreTard]

Have you considered interracial sex?

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 7/23/07 03:42 PM, Reaperyami wrote: Find the neighborhood slut.

Tried it already. I only stubbed my dick and gave her a bruise on her cooter the size of a frisbee.

[Duffi]

Necrophilia is ideal for you then.

[Archkronos]

At 7/23/07 03:33 PM, AshfordPride wrote: I would recommend finding a nice centaur woman to have sexual relations with. It's all the fun and ascetics of a woman with an accommodating horse vagina.

Horse + Human = retarded baby.

[AshfordPride]

At 7/23/07 03:45 PM, Luxury-Yacht wrote: Tried it already. I stubbed my dick

Yeah, the cervix'll do that to ya...

[TurtleJuice]

Penis reduction surgery

Problem solved

[Grimscott]

There's always handjobs.

Even though it will never be the same.

[The-Donkey]

And here I thought this was going to be a thread about E.D, and how your Diabeetus could have been the cause.

[NeoSoviet]

Hahahhaha how do you win so much ?

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 7/23/07 03:48 PM, NeoSoviet wrote: Hahahhaha how do you win so much ?

My lack of sexual interaction gives me a lot of free time.

[Deukid67]

i SUFFER FROM THE SAME PROBLEM

[NightmareFire]

My Self-Esteem rose 43%. Thank you.

[Seachmall]

How insecure must you be to make this thread? :)

[Deukid67]

At 7/23/07 03:48 PM, The-Donkey wrote: And here I thought this was going to be a thread about E.D, and how your Diabeetus could have been the cause.

I have diabeetuss it causes me to be stern with my family Yesterday i ran out of ice cream and i struck my wife then to find out she has been dead for several years who the hell did i hit

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 7/23/07 03:59 PM, Seachmall wrote: How insecure must you be to make this thread? :)

I think you mean, "how brave of you to admit such a severe mental disadvantage".

[The-DeadDuck]

Remember, Necrophilia IS a option.

I require pics of the cock in question before I can believe this claim.

[Forums]

Wow, what a funny insightful post! I really laughed out loud, seriously!

[RicardoJr99]

erm
dimensions?

[Luxury-Yacht]

At 7/23/07 04:46 PM, Forums wrote: Wow, what a funny insightful post! I really laughed out loud, seriously!

Wow, what a funny insightful post! I really laughed out loud, seriously!