problems in childhood?

[Sawke]

I was watching a documentary on serial killers and what makes a person want to kill.I learned that there are three things in common with some of the most violent murderers.

1. Childhood

2.Mental illness

3. Brain Damage

how a child is raised in the first year of life makes a BIG difference.If the child isn't nurtured and is neglected they will definately become problematic in the future.But that doesn't mean all people who are abused at an early age will become murderers it is just one of the things that are likely to lead to it.All of this thinking of serial killers made me think of my own childhood and why i did the things i did.

As a child i HATED people in my space,my moms side of the family is very touchy they hug and kiss. My family didn't do that however.When i was bought to my moms country I didn't like constantly being hugged and smothered I wasn't used to it and i didn't like all those people i didn't know in my personal space.

Especially in school i was not used to people so close to me I would scream and start arguments with people who had their arm all over my desk, and i was the only one who would yell about this. I was and still am the type of person who likes it better when people stay away and wait until I'm ready to show affection and not press themselves on to me.

I still get irritated when someone i'm not 100% fond of puts their arm around me or someone i have no interest runs to me and hugs me. I don't freak out though i just feel mild annoyance. I think the one benefit i got from having parents that don't constantly hug and kiss, is that i'm very good at judging peoples character.

In the past few years I've been at least...95%percent right in knowing who to lend SOME trust to and knowing why i don't trust certain other people.I've chosen my firends more carefully last year and if that's because of my childhood then I'm glad i am the way i am.

HAHAH ok! so now that i've let you all see how deeply i think about my past how about you? how has your past effected your future? do you think that whatever you did as a child can relate to your personality today?

[TjA]

selfishness is good then???

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 02:15 PM, TjA wrote: selfishness is good then???

how is that selfish?

[davidofmk771]

I have trauma for eating many kinds of food. My baby sitter cooked horribly, and I cant enjoy foods. Based on that and head trauma.

[Jon4life]

When I was a kid I got a bunch of money from my mom's brother like every month, and I always was asking for money from my parents. But now I have a job.

[Reaperyami]

I shoot everything in my backyard with a BB gun and laugh everytime I get a head shot. I think it's because I was dropped on my head as a child. Now I thirst for blood.

[TjA]

At 7/23/07 02:15 PM, Sawke wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:15 PM, TjA wrote: selfishness is good then???

how is that selfish?

you wouldnt let anyone in your space and you felt good about no one being there

[D-XN]

I've had a crappy childhood, my parents both died when I was 3.

But I'm not crazy enough to kill people over it.

Well, seeing as I was hit by my parents and bullied by peers, I prefer not to go into it. Try to guess.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 02:16 PM, davidofmk771 wrote: I have trauma for eating many kinds of food. My baby sitter cooked horribly, and I cant enjoy foods. Based on that and head trauma.

i know what you mean.When i lived with my aunt she cooked chicken like ugh you have no IDEA how often she did it.I started getting sick of the smell and i refused to eat it. My dad had no idea how serious i was when i said how bad the food was until like last summer he tried eating her porkchops and he whispered "this is ...really bad." and i laughed when he stared at the food talking about how there was no taste and it was SALTY.

[LittleMissVixen]

When I was little I was really chubby and everyone made fun of me. It was hell for years and years.
The thing is the result of this was actually good, because I actually worked really hard to get in shape and look good, and now I'm fine.
Still, for a long time I had no self-confidence and I took that out on other people.

[TurtleJuice]

I have none of the above. Hooray

[davidofmk771]

At 7/23/07 02:23 PM, Sawke wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:16 PM, davidofmk771 wrote:

i know what you mean.When i lived with my aunt she cooked chicken like ugh you have no IDEA how often she did it.I started getting sick of the smell and i refused to eat it.

I know im going to love ribs and such, but my mind treats it like poison. Its just rejecting the food. Like if you poured cyadine into your mouth, you would instantly spit it out.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 02:18 PM, D-XN wrote: I've had a crappy childhood, my parents both died when I was 3.

But I'm not crazy enough to kill people over it.

That's just one thing.1 out of 3 isn't enough to be a murderer.It's not impossible to over come your problems.But if you had a serious mental illness...well who knows.

[davidofmk771]

At 7/23/07 02:28 PM, Sawke wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:18 PM, D-XN wrote:

That's just one thing.1 out of 3 isn't enough to be a murderer.It's not impossible to over come your problems.But if you had a serious mental illness...well who knows.

Yeah, some things can be cleared by thearapy, but not everything.

[Decimus1234]

how a child is raised in the first year of life makes a BIG difference.

I can agree with you on that. In fact, childhood development is perhaps THE most important period in a person's life.Similar to a stem cell, they can assume ANY sort of personality according to with whom they are together in those early years of development.

If the child isn't nurtured and is neglected they will definately become problematic in the future.

That is something on which I cannot agree with you. People can be seriously abused and yet mature into people who aren't "problematic."

The thing is, it's not as black and white as you make it seem. Childhood abuse doesn't not necessarily equal a negative personality. And it isn't exactly the abuse which may cause a person to behave as they do later in life. Simply put, abuse is more of a causation than a cause.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 02:17 PM, TjA wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:15 PM, Sawke wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:15 PM, TjA wrote: selfishness is good then???

how is that selfish?

you wouldnt let anyone in your space and you felt good about no one being there

That's not selfish that's a result. Because i wasn't shown a lot of nurture as much as other doesn't make me SELFISH i wasn't depriving anyone of anything. I didn't say i didn't like people around me I said i didn't like people NEAR me like REALLY close TOUCHING me.

Weird i know.As a child i was convinced that friends were worthless and a waste WHY? because every friend i had treated me like dirt. Every KID i met treated me like dirt. It was only when i moved to a new school did i start to open up more and became happier. Now today i'm more open that i've been in my life.

[X-Gary-Gigax-X]

For the first half of my life, parts 1 - 7 I was kinda...stupid. I would do things that were really dumb and degrading and I had barely any control over them. I needed to be slapped in the face...by parts 8 - 10 I was a lot quieter, and didn't say much, which scared my folks. But finally, by 11 - 13 I was a LOT more controlled, I had finally mastered myself. I had no idea how cool I was underneath all that ADD and other shit.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 02:43 PM, Decimus1234 wrote:

That is something on which I cannot agree with you. People can be seriously abused and yet mature into people who aren't "problematic."

The thing is, it's not as black and white as you make it seem. Childhood abuse doesn't not necessarily equal a negative personality. And it isn't exactly the abuse which may cause a person to behave as they do later in life. Simply put, abuse is more of a causation than a cause.

I'm talking about 2 years old not 4 or 13.If you are a baby and you wet yourself. No one picks you up or helps you for hours everyday. That's abuse. True some people can help themselves...if they're strong enough.If a boy is shown nothing but hatred from women ESPECIALLY the mother do you think he'll be Mr.Perfect? don't you ever wonder WHY rapists attack women? or men who abuse their wives? generally it starts from childhood.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 02:29 PM, davidofmk771 wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:28 PM, Sawke wrote:

At 7/23/07 02:18 PM, D-XN wrote:

That's just one thing.1 out of 3 isn't enough to be a murderer.It's not impossible to over come your problems.But if you had a serious mental illness...well who knows.

Yeah, some things can be cleared by thearapy, but not everything.

Therapy doesn't cure mental illness.It might not even do anything.Really the best it does is give people insight in to why they do certain things or come to terms with whatever happend to them.

FACT : Charles Manson was sold as a baby for a bottle of beer by his mom.Still think Childhood abuse has nothing to do with a persons future outlook on life?

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 03:17 PM, simple-but-sandy wrote: From your program watching skills, am I likley to become a killer?

I am angry at most people, most of the time. When I see someone who I feel is undeservedly better than me in some way, I have an overwhelming instinct to make them suffer for it at some point in the future.

When people mock me in any sort of way (unless they are close freinds/relatives) I also wish to make them regret it...

Ah see you WISH but you don't DO it.The one thing that sets murderes apart is that the part of their brain that tells them "No don't do that it's wrong don't kill" they don't have that.They can feel no guilt .They might feel upset because they got caught but they don't regret what they did.You don't sound different from a normal person.Unless you actually CAUSED harm to people then I'd say you've had problems in your past.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 03:32 PM, KemCab wrote: You hate excessive physical contact.

I do too. Trust me, I never got it when people used to hug and poke each other playfully.
That's not my style.

I'm much more open now but I still take trust VERY seriously.Just this year some friends of mine held their arms out to hug me then when i stepped forward they backed away laughing. See as how they grew up differently they can't POSSIBLY understand how serious I took that.Because my family doesn't hug so letting them hug me was a BIG deal.

My trust for them shattered in a second. I stopped talking to them. When one tried to hug me i stared then backed away. He didn't find it funny when i did that. I don't intend on trusting them EVER no one really understands but me as to why i take things like that seriously but the thing is when it comes to friends If I'm shown the SLIGHTEST hint of neglect or abuse in any form from them I take caution immediately.

My philosophy is and this has been true for every person I've ever met since 8th grade.That if my first vibe of a person is that they shouldn't be trusted then stick with the first instinct eventually you'll be right. I don't make the same mistakes twice.If a person treats me like shit even ONCE I don't go running back thinking it will change.I'll be civil but i won't trust.

[Lost-Chances]

Two of three, oh yeah!

A quick run through. I was born. My mother left and got a divorced. My big brother bullied me and eventually got sent away. Got kicked out of a school for constant misbehaving. Behaved, got into a local school. Never did well making friends. When I got to high school, my trust was constantly betrayed, I was bullied, I was pretty lonely. It's only in the last year I've started actually walking up to people and talking to them instead of staying in my small corner.

But recently I've left school and I feel a thousand times better than I did back then. I was miserable, whined a lot online, so on. Now with high school finished, I feel a ton better. But I've learned that I have to be careful who to trust. Looking carefully on the situation before jumping in. If in doubt, don't trust.

I also seem to enjoy the cold weather and nights a lot more than warm weather and the day. If thats any relevance to when I was younger when I used to be taken to Sheffield (which is colder than where I normally live) at like 3am, is beyond me. Not to mention that is my youngest clear memory. Of looking upwards of the car under a cover with my dad's radio playing Roxanne by The Police (strange how I can remember that). Due to my mum's constant moving of house (and how I'm not the type that likes to be hugged and all that lot) and her being remarried, I feel a lot more comfortable at my uncle's place which I've been going since I was very young.

Think thats enough. Sorry if I've moaned a little too much or if anything doesn't make too much sense.

[VirtualClepto]

4. Being Raped

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 03:46 PM, VirtualClepto wrote: 4. Being Raped

that falls under abuse.Which goes in to childhood.

[Sawke]

At 7/23/07 03:45 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: Two of three, oh yeah!

You're doing ok now though right? i wouldn't say you're going to be a murderer you got help.But most people don't get help they just keep getting worse and worse until they snap.

[Lost-Chances]

At 7/23/07 03:50 PM, Sawke wrote: You're doing ok now though right? i wouldn't say you're going to be a murderer you got help.But most people don't get help they just keep getting worse and worse until they snap.

I wouldn't say I got help as such. I just learned to bite the bullet until I left school. Which then, all the stress and how much school was a pain for me, just "rolled" off me.

[EvilJesus]

I have the first one and the slightly the third one but i'd never kill anyone...i think

[The-Donkey]

Are you really Sawke?

[Lost-Chances]

At 7/23/07 03:57 PM, The-Donkey wrote: Are you really Sawke?

Yes and no. Yes it is Sawke probably but she's having one hell of a laugh.

That or Burnzoid made an alt.