Hell city story

[Ran2Chaos]

This is going to be an on going series in flash if I don't get bored, I made this comic three years ago, don't worry I can draw better now... Well anyway I might make these into flash teel me if I should and maybe make suggestions of how to complete these stories here is the first page, sorry no cover...

[Kuoke]

That's pretty good for '3 years ago'. It would've been better had the text be readable.

[Ran2Chaos]

Sorry you cannot read the page.
This has foul language so warning to those who do not like reading swear words...
Top right Panel: In Hell City a window opens.
Mid-Top Left Panel: A desperate woman who could've been beautiful, could've had a better life but instead took the syringe stares blankly outside her fucked up apartment window.
Watching, waiting for an answer to all her problems, a miracle, anything that will change her fucked up life.
Mid-Top Right Panel: But in real life there are no miracles... No Prince Valient, no one cares. This is real...
She jumps into the cold unforgiving night. Her only option.
Right Panel: Four-Stories.
Bottom Panel: The desperate woman who could've had a better life lies dead, her blood splashing on the pavement, seeping into the sewers to feed the rats...
Two people on this streets die tonight her and her unborn child...
No one cares, she was just another victim in the cold grasp of the night.

[Ran2Chaos]

Top Right Panel: A man drinks his fifth glass tonight...
He thinks about all the times he's messed up, all the lies he's told himself...
He tries to forget, every drink making it worse.
2nd Top Left Panel: He spills his seventh drink... An sign of future events.
2nd Top Right Panel: A struggling writer living in the slums puffs his last smoke... he finally admits it's hopeless, 2 months... He is a loser, he goes for the only way out...
Left bottom Panel: The pistol he bought two months ago... Still shiny, his only way out.
Right Bottom Panel: Can he do it? The sweat on his forehead trickles down to the cold floor.
Bottom Panel: BLAM!

[Kuoke]

Those would make a great web comic if you made a chapter/story go for a decent number.

[Ran2Chaos]

I have written a script to have a full story but it hasn't taken form yet.

[Ran2Chaos]

3rd Page
Top Panel: Fear... A woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time runs for her life... Down the cement alleyways, sweat and tears flow down her face...
Top Right Panel: The woman runs in fear of a monster, a creature with the face of a man... In the darkness no one can see the fear in your eyes... They can onl hear your screams...
Mid-Top Panel: Another Demon joins in the chase... In Hell City no one cares...
Thug 1: Bring that Bitch over here NOW!
Thug 2: Hey, get that sock to shut her up!

[Ran2Chaos]

Panel: In Hell City when the night is the darkest and the fumes from the furnace heat up the abyss unspeakable acts occur, evil acts that no one can see, they can only hear the horror.

[MiddleFingerRings]

At 7/7/07 07:17 AM, Ran2Chaos wrote: Panel: In Hell City when the night is the darkest and the fumes from the furnace heat up the abyss unspeakable acts occur, evil acts that no one can see, they can only hear the horror.

Hahaha! Sin City anyone? Obviously very reminiscent of Frank Miller's stuff. Which is good, he rocks. Excellent drawing, pretty good dialogue, well done bud. The guy on the last page who's smiling looks a bit like Marv. ;D

Well done.

[Ran2Chaos]

Yeah this does have influences of Franl Miller's Sin City, I got That Yellow Bastard as my first book and took Millers style and my own to create Hell City.

[Ran2Chaos]

Top Left Panel: Man 2; Oh Yeah! Slam That WHORE!
Top Right Panel: K: First, take out the one behind...
Your prey must not notice you, fear of the dark. Use the night to your advantage... Don't let him notice you...
Top Middle Panel: Man2; ?.. Ahh.
Right Panel: K: I'm done with him, now for that sick rapist.
Middle Panel: K: I have to make that monster in human flesh pay.
Right Bottom Panel: K: I take his pride away from him, he won't harm another woman ever again...

[Ran2Chaos]

Top Left Panel: Man 1: AHH! MM... My FUCKIN DICK! OH GOD! OH GOD!
Top RIGHT Panel: K: Smashing his face into the building won't kill him... but tommorow he will have one HELL of a broken nose... and the loss of something very close to him...
Center Panel: K: You have to trust me.

[Ran2Chaos]

Left Panel: Woman: Wa...Wait Please...
Center Panel: Please don't leave me, alone....

[Ran2Chaos]

Top Panel: In the Dark, Alone...
She Can't stop crying.
She is all alone, but, not for long.

[Ran2Chaos]

The last page.
Top Left Panel: She sits in the dark cold alley...
She doesn't make a sound...
She is afraid, she is alone.
"Why did he or it leave me?"

Center: K; I'm going to take you home.

[Bischop]

That's really cool man :)

[Ran2Chaos]

Thank you, I made a flash version, it's just a short.

[SmilingIdiot]

is this a parody to sin city?

[Kuoke]

At 7/8/07 12:18 AM, SmilingIdiot wrote: is this a parody to sin city?

More like a 'in the style of-'. He mentioned it earlier in the thread.
I checked out the flash movie, nice work.

[insipidmortal]

it has a decent story,
excelent wording
pleasant drawings.

the only faults are the poses and the good guy.

the poses are sometimes awkward,

and even when told she had a sock in her mouth, i was still wonderinging what it was untill the next page. Also, the good guy isnt doing it for me, he just looks like a guy covered from head to toe in black spandex, it hardly seems interesting.

these arent enough for me to dislike it, infact i am looking forward to the next installment.

6/10

[Ran2Chaos]

The hero, yeah he is just a dark silhouette. I made that because at the time when i WAS WORKING ON THE COMIC i COULD not think of what he should look like so I chose a shadow, later would change to be the character. Anyway he is not important to theHell City series, he just appears sometimes as a way for me to end a tory on a positive note than from the sad destruction all around.

[WisdomVsLogic]

fap fap fap

[Ran2Chaos]

Now I have been drawing this same woman for some time, something is wrong with her, she may in the future have a more important role in my comic series but right now I feel there is something missing, also can anyone make a suggestion as to a easier way to draw her, since in Flash too much detail is hard to animate.

[Master117chief]

At 7/25/07 02:55 PM, Ran2Chaos wrote: Now I have been drawing this same woman for some time, something is wrong with her, she may in the future have a more important role in my comic series but right now I feel there is something missing, also can anyone make a suggestion as to a easier way to draw her, since in Flash too much detail is hard to animate.

Her body is to short compared to her head

[Ran2Chaos]

Yeah, I was never good at drawing bodies, I usually made the head too big all the time, thanks.

[Ran2Chaos]

Heres another one. Someone already told me how to improve on this, its just now I want an easier way to annimate how would I do that with a style that fits a dark story?

[DarkEclipse50]

your style reminds me alot of sin city. thats not a bad thing tho

[InkyBoy]

Yeah, this feels heavily influenced by Sin City. But, nevertheless, nice work. A little more originality to the title would be nice though. ;)

[Ran2Chaos]

This is for my up-coming flash film, the character here is a nurse that greets the main character of the story after he awakens

[Ran2Chaos]

This is a cop (1), another role needed to fill for the animation