Forum Topic: Ragnarok (Story)

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/22/07 03:42 PM

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ACT II - Chapter IX

Sarai stood up on her toes, trying to reach the tiny groove that was in the panel above her head. She grabbed it and pulled.
Nothing happened.
She pulled harder, as the whistle below her feet grew louder, and louder.
The panel came down.
A ladder un-folded itself, and Sarai grabbed it, eagerly.
She began to climb it, so excited, that her hands slipped, and she kept faltering, making progress slow.
She stopped, regaining her nerves. She would never make it like this.
The flames shot up under her.
Sarai was flung, sideways, up through the hole in the roof.
She hit the celing of the room above, hard, and she heard a rib crack.
She came crashing down, about a foot away from the pillar of flame that was now gushing into the new room.
She stood up. Walking was painful with the broken rib, and her magic was no where near advanced enough to fix a broken bone.
She limped over to the door, hoping that things would become easier.

Eric flew through the air, terror swelling up in him as he plummeted towards the spikes.
Terror which was then abruptly knocked out of him.
Eric had hit the pendulum, the top of it, the blunt end, had hit him straight in the ribs.
He clambered, until he got a grip, and then hoisted himself up onto the pendulum.
The top of the pendulum was about a foot wide, which didn't leave him much room to manouvere.
the pendulum approached the wall, and Eric saw the slit that the pendulum would enter.
SHIT!
Eric dived away from the wall, just barely grabbing onto the pendulum.
Thank God, that the enitre pendulum didn't go into the wall.
As he was swinging away, Eric saw through the slit, that there was a control panel in the room behind it.
The slit was far wider than the pendulum, and if he managed to time a jump just right...
He dived back, just avoiding smashing into the other wall.
He climbed back up, read now.
He was going to jump, going to try to make it into the control room. No! He was GOING to make it into the control room.
The wall approached again, and Eric tensed his leg muscles...

Aaron coughed, and water splattered out onto his chin.
He sat up, and looked around. He was sitting in a deep puddle of water, sitting on a broken down door.
He had made it! The momentum had swung his unconcious body through the door.
He stood up, wiping himself down of the debris he was covered in.
He looked behind him to find a shabby-looking wooden door, which appeared to lead outsied, judging from the gust coming from it.
He glanced at his watch. The date surprised him, in a good way.
The children had survived another day...

Sorry bout the kinda short chapter, but I just wanted to show that everyone is okay :P

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joeyjoe1

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Posted at: 7/22/07 04:00 PM

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Great chapter. I devoured it. Can we expect the next one soon? Please!

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/22/07 04:50 PM

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Hopefully
soon-ish

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KerfuffleMach2

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Posted at: 7/22/07 05:44 PM

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Sorry I haven't read it in a couple of days. Been busy with a book.

Anywho, great chapters. Can't wait for more.


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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/22/07 05:48 PM

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Sorry to say, no more till tomorrow (GMT), too tired :P

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MrFinland

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Posted at: 7/23/07 01:47 AM

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At 7/22/07 05:48 PM, El-Duego wrote: Sorry to say, no more till tomorrow (GMT), too tired :P

Oh damn you always post these when I'm asleep. Anyways a great one indeed.


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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/23/07 11:21 AM

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ACT II - Chapter X

Eric leapt, bringing his arms up to shield his head. He rocketed through to air, towards the thin slit in the wall.
He felt the sides of the slit scrape at him as he flew through, and came crashing onto the floor onto the other side of the wall.
He stood up, to find that he had cuts in his t-shirt, and deep gouges under his armpits. The cuts were bleeding freely, but he didn't care.
He had made it.
He walked over to the control panel, and saw that there were buttons to control the speed, the depth of the swing, and on button that surprised him.
CHANGE DIRECTION was printed in block-ish, white letters on a red button. Eric looked up, and sure enough, there was a second track for the pendulum. Under the button was written:
PLEASE ENSURE THAT PENDULUM IS FULLY STATIONARY BEFORE SWITCHING DIRECTION.
Eric looked out. If the pendulum changed direction, it would swing straight for the door. He hovered his finger over the button for a moment, waiting for the pendulum to swing back towards him.
He pushed the button.

Sarai limped over the threshold, and found herself at the foot of a tall staircase. It was stone, and spiralled. She began her long, arduous climb.
Now that she had time to think, she did.
Who had done this to her? Were the boys similiary imprisoned? If so, they had no experience with magic, they would surely perish.
She reached the top of the staircase, realising it wasn't as tall as she had first foreseen.
She saw in front of her an oak door, with ornate gold engravings on it. The engraving glinted in the dim light, that radiated from a torch that had been nailed to the wall on Sarai's right.
She leaned in closer to the door, as she saw there were words engraved on it.
Hic Ago Niko
Sarai spoke latin, and was shocked at these words. For they translate to:
Here Lives Niko

Aaron limped towards the door, shivering from the gust that came from it.
As he pushed it open, he stared up at the star-laden night sky, pleased with his heroic escape. He looked, to find bushes.
Rose bushes were in front of him.
Aaron was sure that he had seen these very bushes before, and he took a few steps forward.
He was angry, for if his assumptions were correct, he had been betrayed.
He turned around.
Just as he had expected.
"That traitorous bastard..." muttered Aaron.
For before him, stood Nikos house.

Sorry bout the short chapter, had to make sure you all knew what was going on.
Whould be another big action sequence soon, I'm busy doing stuff though.

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Sarai

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Posted at: 7/23/07 12:46 PM

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Great chapters! Sorry no recent comments, my blog was spammed with 115 comments and I was a bit tired because of it.

I love the plot, love your stories.

x

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joeyjoe1

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Posted at: 7/23/07 01:19 PM

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At 7/23/07 11:21 AM, El-Duego wrote: If so, they had no experience with magic, they would surely perish.

Ouch, ye of little faith.

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MrFinland

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Posted at: 7/23/07 01:22 PM

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Wow simply awesome. I can't wait what happens next? Am I so evil? Did I betray them? I can't wait!


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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 04:02 AM

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I noticed I have been a little scarce on the chapters recently, so I will try make plent of long ones today, k?

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Lorkas

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Posted at: 7/24/07 04:03 AM

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Umm guys, stop bumping this topic. It's already dead.

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 04:23 AM

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How is it dead?
I post at least a chapter a day, and people are still replying to them.
That ain't dead

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 07:02 AM

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ACT II - Chapter XI

Eric dived through the slit, as the pendulum abruptly changed direction, causing a violent crack to appear in the ceiling.
He was riding on the top of the pendulum, and it arced through the air, and the air rushed through Eric's hair. He felt suddenly exhilirated. As if everything was fine. For that brief moment, there was no pendulum, no Gods trying to kil him, just pure happiness.
Then he came close to the platform.
Eric threw himself, covering his head with his hand. He hit the wall, and rebounded back, rolling off of the platform.
He was falling through the air, but some sort of 6th sense deep inside his soul, shoved his arm up, and he grabbed the edge of the platform. He was dangling.
Below him, were many bloodstained pikes, with the carcasses of those who had tried to escape wedged between the steel pillars.
He swug his other arm up, and hoisted himself up onto the platform. He was safe.
There was a mechanical click below his feet.
The platform began to receed into the wall...

Sarai opened the door, as quietly as possible, and was shocked to see that it led into Niko's dining room. The very room, where what seemed years ago, Niko had spiked their drinks, and had left them in his killing rooms. That was, assuming, that the others had had chances like Sarai.
She crept through the dining room, and heard Niko speaking in the lounge.
"Yes. They will die. I know, the laws of Ragnarok say they must have a chance to escape, and they all do, a very, very slim chance. As soon as they wake up, the mecanisms to kill them wil start. Sarai will burn, Aaron will drown, and Eric will be sliced up! I know, the Gods will reward us greatly. Me especially? Well thank you, I hope to see you soon, Father." Niko hung up the phone, and looked up.
For a second, Sara thought that he had seen her, but he was just looking around, pleased with himself. Sarai snuck into the halway. She knew that there was another entrance to the lounge, a door, directly behind the tall armchair in which Niko was sitting.
She crept silently, thinking about what Niko had said. He had called the man on the other end of the line Father. Sarai knew that Niko was orphaned, so he must have meant some sort of priest.
And then it struck Sarai. There was a cult.... a cult that heavily supported the ideaology of Ragnarok, a cult that belived the Norse Gods would reward them when they descended, they were fools of course. The Gods were ruthless, they would tear the priests apart, just like the rest of the human race.
Sarai came to the second entrance to the lounge. sure enough, Niko sat, his back turned to Sarai, reading some sort of book.
Sarai looked to her left, and saw a large, ornate sword. It looked a bit like a Katana, but it had several jewels encrusted in the handle, and in the blade itself. She quietly removed the sword from its mount, and weighed it in her hand.
It was light and supple, and it felt very comfortable in her hand. She twirled it, and felt that the sword was very natural to her hands.
She crept over to Niko's chair, and raised the blade.
She swung it, full force, all of her might thrusted into the sword, straight at the side of Niko's exposed neck.
The sword collided with Niko's jugular vein, and something strange happened.
The sword stopped. stopped dead, just lightly touching Niko's neck. Niko turned around.
"Why hello Sarai!" he smiled.
The sword began to shake violently, and it began to heat up. It was scorching, and Sarai tried to drop it, but she found that she couldn't.
"You are a very foolish girl." he said, standing up, "Do you expect a mere few children, to overpower the might of the Gods?" he chuckled evily.
Sarai struggled, the sword was actually burning into her flesh now, she felt the nerves ignite, sending messages of excruciating pain into her brain. It felt as if her flesh was bubbling under the immense heat. She tried to shake the sword loose, but to no avail.
Niko walked around to stand beside her.
He leaned in close, and ran his finger down her shaking neck, "Such a beautiful girl..." he whispered in her ear, " I will enjoy watching you writhe in pain..." he smiled.
The sword turned to ash, and Sarai was terrified to see that her muscles were visible.
Niko raised a hand, and terrible pain flooded into Sarai.
She collapsed, jerking wildly, the aching rushing through her body. The pain was in her bllod, spreading itself through her, causing her to jerk violently.
"By the time I'm finished with you," said Niko, crouching down so that he was face to face with her, "you will be begging for death."

~End of chapter~

Theres a nice long chapter to make up!

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MrFinland

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Posted at: 7/24/07 07:10 AM

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Simply awesome. I can feel my character being filled by pure evil. I can't wait to see what happens next.


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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 07:19 AM

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He sure as hell is evil

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Sarai

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Posted at: 7/24/07 09:37 AM

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Torture is against the Geneva convention!

are we in America? :(

Thank you for keeping this going, you've given me inspiration and I'm going to go and write a new chapter for my one now.

How many chapters are you planning and seriously, where do you get all the time to be creative? :)

you hurt me physically :( Bully.

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joeyjoe1

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Posted at: 7/24/07 12:08 PM

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Another great chapter. Hope someone kills that Niko jerk(no offence Mr.finland). No one tries to cut me up.

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MrFinland

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Posted at: 7/24/07 12:48 PM

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At 7/24/07 12:08 PM, joeyjoe1 wrote: Another great chapter. Hope someone kills that Niko jerk(no offence Mr.finland). No one tries to cut me up.

What have you against him? The gods totally approved of his deeds you know? Do you need teh Bedn to approve it too?
</off-topic>
Ok I understand that he is evil, but I like it so. I never saw him being evil coming you know, surprised me on that Duego.


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Zombie-Genocide

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Posted at: 7/24/07 01:23 PM

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MODS NO! dont lock this story. you hear me? this is one that desrves to be on the BBS


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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 01:54 PM

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Due to the great deesback I got off of the plot twist, I'll be posting a big chapter soon
There won't be many more chapters in ACT II, and ACT III should be shorter than this one, but that still means there is plenty more story to go!
I'm wondering what to do for my next story, I'm torn between a real life story about a hitman, or another NG story.
What do you guys think?

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 02:05 PM

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Are you apologising to me?
Or to the Mods?
If its me,.... your forgiven I guess
But I dont think they are locking stories that are already popular
(like this one)

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joeyjoe1

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Posted at: 7/24/07 02:42 PM

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At 7/24/07 01:54 PM, El-Duego wrote: I'm torn between a real life story about a hitman, or another NG story.
What do you guys think?

I think you should do the hitman story. It sounds pretty cool, but only after you've completed the work on this one.

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Sarai

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Posted at: 7/24/07 02:49 PM

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100% concentration on this please! The other story sounds good, but first this because it's intense!

The Newgrounds O-Ren-Ishii but with a nicer smile and still alive

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 02:52 PM

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ACT II - Chapter XII

Eric panicked. The platform would soon receed sompletely into the wall, and he would plummet to a painful, gory death.
He had come so close, he could not let something as feeble as a receeding platform kill him. he rammed the door, but to no avail. It was shut tight.
He slipped, just managing to grab onto the top of the doorframe. It was a very weak grip, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on for long. He mustered every fibre of his being, his fingers straggling for a grip, and he swung, pushing his legs out.
This could either go perfectly, or end very badly.
If his kick broke the door, he would be safe, but if he rebounded back, he would die.
He felt a peculiar heat flood into his feet, they were enpowered.
His feet collided with the door, which was blown several metres back.
Eric let go, and flew, safely, into the corridor.
He stood up, smiling.
He had used magic.

Aaron heard a scream. A woman's scream. A familiar one.
"SARAI!" he yelled, bolting around the side of the house, towards the front. He reached the door, and remembered that it was securely locked.
He raised his palm, trying his hand at magic, and to his delightful surprise, the door burst into flames, and within seconds, a large hole had melted in the center of it.
He dived through, to see Niko standing in the lounge.
The man was wearing dirty clothes, a jumper, which was brown and green striped, filthy, baige trousers, and a labcoat, which appeared to be stained with blood. Niko's long, grey hair, flopped around his shoulder, and Aaron saw distinctive pleasure in his mismatched eyes.
Niko was tensing his palms, pointing them downwards, and Aaron saw the source of the screams.
Sarai was roling on the ground, twitching in pain.
"LET GO OF HER!" Bellowed Aaron, and he felt ridiculously overwhelmed with rage, and powerful heat flooded into his hands.
He raised his palms, pointing them at Niko, just as the man turned towards him. Aaron felt pure energy charge out of his hands, and he was surprised that Niko flew back.
Niko smashed into the wall, shattering the mirror, which came crashing down onto his head, showering him in shards of glass.
"Ugh..." he moaned, " how did you..... you have no experien..." he passed out.
Sarai groaned on the ground, and climbed to her knees.
"Aaron.... how did you...?"
"I just used magic, just like you."
"that spell... you didn't even say anything, that's not possible, unless..."
"Unless what?"
"Your Chosen."

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MrFinland

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Posted at: 7/24/07 03:15 PM

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OH snap I got pwnt byh a noob in magic( no offence).
Great chapter, leaves me woonder will I be the archnemesis.


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Basspro55

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Posted at: 7/24/07 04:07 PM

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Very nice story

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El-Duego

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Posted at: 7/24/07 04:20 PM

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I am soo tired
Just played the most violent game of football EVAR

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joeyjoe1

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At 7/24/07 04:20 PM, El-Duego wrote: I am soo tired
Just played the most violent game of football EVAR

I don't care, keep writing (Kidding).

I also used magic for the first time. I rule!

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Sainth

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Posted at: 7/24/07 10:38 PM

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I found this story a while ago but haven't had time to read it before now since I'm currently working too much :(

I'm glad I found some time to read it though because it's hella good. You've got a good writing style and you've managed to leave enough of a cliffhanger at the end of each chapter to keep up the suspense without making it into a cliched "To be continued..." type of thing. Good job!


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