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The only thing that happened to me is when i was jackin off my mom was came to my room to check on me and i had to jizz in my sheets. Which meant i had to wash my sheets.(my mom wondered why i did this all of a sudden....)

I didnt use lube and i got scabs all over my cock.

what's a good lube?some lubes hurt right?

I was mastubating and my sister walked in when i was cumming..
Ah well.. She sure as hell loved licking it off of me..
COUGH.

At 9/14/08 09:17 AM, Craigie wrote: I was mastubating and my sister walked in when i was cumming..
Ah well.. She sure as hell loved licking it off of me..
COUGH.

...

Anyways, My dad walked in one time, just after I'd gotten out of the shower. I was sitting naked on my bed, he walks in...looks at me, turns, walks out and closes the door once more.
"What the hell?" I yell.
"I was just coming to make sure you were out of bed."
"...I just had a shower?"

And he also walked in on one of my brothers, doing much the same. He's just like...
"Hurry up, you're late for school."

At 6/18/07 05:19 PM, Plastic-Phantom wrote: I did once in the shower, and it turned into like a glue.

So my pubies were all stuck together for two days and it bothered the hell out of me.

Exactly the same hapened to me

i thought a blow job is when someone blows into the penis and it inflates

At 9/14/08 11:00 AM, funkycaveman wrote: i thought a blow job is when someone blows into the penis and it inflates

hahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahahahha ha*cough cough*hahahahaahahahahahahaahhahahaahaha hahahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahah ahahahahahahhaahahhahhehehehahahahahahah ahhahahahahahahahaahahhaahahahahahhahaha hahahahaahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahha hahahahahahhaaahahahhaahaahahaahahahahah ahaahaahaahahahhahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have made my bellend bleed in the past...
that's it really.

At 6/18/07 06:12 PM, Katelynnn wrote: No lock on your door? That sucks.
And you know you can delete your history.
^^^I do it once a week, becuase if I didn't I'd be in a shit load of trouble with all the porn I look up.

Hoo boy, I know that feeling. I just can't myself when it comes to porn. Though my folks have cauight me 2 times. I had forgotten to delete a lesbian anime trailer from the media player. They saw it and were rather pissed at me. Why I HAVE NO IDEA! I mean my thought is "Be glad I ain't GAY!" I even have porn on my PS3. I just don't understand why they think it's so damn bad. At least I'm looking at lestai porn, hentai and pretty much stuff with GIRLS in it, or GIRL-ON-GIRL. Honestly. >_>

At 6/18/07 05:14 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: When I was young, I couldn't cum, I was too young. The first day I ever did, it splattered all over my shirt... What a mess it was.

Same here. It was so good when you could just wank anywhere and you didnt squirt all over the place.

At 6/18/07 09:07 PM, Invincible-fang01 wrote: I once jerked off with corn syrup, and it stuck to my pubes. Fukkin oww. Also this one time I turned myself upside-down and squirted my face to see what that was like. But my worst mistake of all time, was when I masturbated to this!. Actually, that second one was more of and experiance than a mistake.

What's wrong with getting off to her? So it's hentai, big deal. I got tons of hentai on my PS3 and I get off to hentai or lestai every chance I can.

THREE WORDS:

DON'T

WEAR

BOXERS!!!!!! >_< I have done this and it'll feel really weird. Just go with briefs or tons of kleenexes.

I would mastrubate right after lunch, that's when I got the hunch.
It feels so great, even when i do it with my mate.
I never use my feet, I'm not that 1337.
I always do it at home, prefferably alone.
Afterwards I'm in my happy mood, And I go grab some food.
I wash my hands to stay clean, otherwise my friends will be mean >:(

That is all I have to say, I'll be on my way.
I dont know why I shared this with you, maybe because I feel so blue.
Good night.

Once i yawned right as i was coming and i blew a little in my mouth.

One time i thought my mum had left to go shopping because i heard the front door slam, so i opened me up some porno, cranked the volume and then realised my mum hadnt actually left the house yet and was still in the house for at least 10 minutes while i was watching porn!

i realised this when i heard the door slam for a second time and heard the car drive away.

She was trying so hard when she got back to act natural like she haden't heard a thing. Lol

I once tried for a good half-hour to come on a hot day.

I was swollen and in pain for a couple days.

I have that happen to me every once in a while. Just without the volume problem.

One thing, why did it get so quiet?

At 6/18/07 05:26 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: I remember the time I did it in the bathtub, using the soap. It felt great, but the next time I tried it I got soap down in the hole... It stung so bad and I had to get it out by spraying the showerhead in it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD XD XD XD PWND

grats :D

It got quiet. This EPIC THREAD MUST CONTINUE!!!! The PERVERTS DEMAND IT!

*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap* lmao

bengay on balls ROCK!

First time I looked at porn I minimized when my sister came in

stupid! stupid! stupid!

no mistakes here (H)
im to cool to fail at masturbating.

getting it on a screen...

At 6/18/07 05:12 PM, Hellian00 wrote: I once did it too mutch and too fast, so now I have a spot whre I rubbed off scin.

I made the same mistake recently, it hurts like hell!

At 9/21/08 09:44 AM, MudkipsPiano wrote: Well one time I started fucking a hole in my couch, little did I know my grandma was home.

Did she sleep on the couch that night?

At 6/18/07 05:14 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: When I was young, I couldn't cum, I was too young. The first day I ever did, it splattered all over my shirt... What a mess it was.

haha so true

the first times it shoots everywhere

At 9/21/08 09:44 AM, MudkipsPiano wrote: Well one time I started fucking a hole in my couch, little did I know my grandma was home.

Are you trying to say that you wasted your time on the hole, because your grandma was home?

You would've fucked your grandma?

I never got caught because I was always careful. On another note this is to all the guys who use body wash, soap, shampoo, and other stuff that cleans your body; don't use those! Use petroleum jelly. It's safe, doesn't sting, cleans up easy, and you don't have to worry about losing skin or getting sores on your dick. I have yet to bruise myself but with petroleum jelly, since it makes sliding easy, jacking off is a lot more enjoyable.

One time one of my friends was bragging that he was able to masturbate 17 times in one day until he had to stop for the obvious abrasion reasons. So of course I thought to myself: "17? Pfft...that's nothing!" I didn't want to just beat my friend's score, I wanted to blow it out of the water. A full day and 20 faps later...well, lets just say I couldn't touch it for the next three days. I do not suggesting trying to get that many in a day.