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My quick hiding maneuver is to pull my shirt over my penis, then just keep think to who ever's intruding "Yeah... Get out!"

well i was doin it whilst on the computer them my mom came in so i stuck it back in my trousersand she said "why does it smell of matches in here?" so i had to assure her that i wasnt playing with matches because mine smells like either cat food or parrafin oh and i had to change my pants

I JACKED OFF AND DIDN'T WIPE MY HANDS OFF AND I HAVEN'T JACKED OFF IN 3 DAYS AND THERE'S CUM EVERYWHERE AND I'M TYPING THIS WITH CUM ON MY HANDS AND MY BROTHER HAS TO USE THE COMPUTER WHEN I'M SLEEPING AFTER I GOT DONE JACKING OFF WITH CUM ON MY HANDS

At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...

Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her. Then I'd learn that she'd been secretly fingering herself to me while she slept. She later revealed that while I was asleep, she would jack me off and I wouldn't notice because I was such a heavy sleeper or passed out. Later revealing that we fantasized about fucking each other, naturally we both had incest fetishes. So I'd have her sit on my dick and start fucking her until I'm about ready to jack off, then I'd blow a load inside her mouth and finger her until she comes all in MY mouth, then we'd swap cum and then we'd pour it all back into her mouth so she can spit it back onto my cock, and she can suck it again.

At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...

Btw how old is she?

At 7/9/07 03:59 AM, numbers wrote:

Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her.

where's the applause smiley...

At 7/9/07 04:03 AM, numbers wrote:

At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...

Btw how old is she?

Shes 19

Alright, I'm just stoned enough right now to tell everyone this.

Once, my cock was chaffing, and I decided to jack off anyway...
And by the end, I had open sores on my dick...

Fuck, the next day, when I took a shower I got some shampoo n' shit in the sore.
Jesus Christ, most pain I've ever been in, in my entire life.

I once did it 23 times - in a row to porn.

Damn I was chafed but I went right to sleep after... I cleaned up everything that is.

One time I cummed in her eye.

one time i was beatin it in the boys bathroom and heard some1 walking in and i quickly walked out and went to the urinals to make it loook like i was peeing (no1 would use the toilets unless they were beatting it) but as i was walking to the urinals my penis was still out and it pretty big and hard to miss and i came alover the floor and i dont kno if the kid saw me did it or not but i kno he sliped in it lol

i kno my profile said i was a girl that was a thing my riends told me to do for a post

At 7/7/07 01:05 PM, mastermalpass wrote: My quick hiding maneuver is to pull my shirt over my penis, then just keep think to who ever's intruding "Yeah... Get out!"

Sometimes I do it on the stall, lol. And if someone manages to get the locked door open, I just let go of my penis. And say "Didn't think it was THAT big now, didya?"

A mistake during this process would have to be using my left hand... It just, gives you a cramp in your arm and takes a good 20 minutes.... Not worth it.

At 7/9/07 04:04 AM, rithel wrote:

At 7/9/07 03:59 AM, numbers wrote:

Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her.

Wow, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, thanks.

One time I stuck a banana up there, and it was overripe!

The only person that has ever walked in on me was my girlfriend, oddly enough. And she gave me shit for monthes after that.

At 6/18/07 05:14 PM, Durken316 wrote:

At 6/18/07 05:12 PM, Hellian00 wrote: I once did it too much and too fast, so now I have a spot where I rubbed off scin.

me too

i did it one so hard it hurt for a while

ive got three growths on my cock where i rubbed off skin, and where it healed itself.

After reading more than the second half of this thread, I have to say that numbers is one sick motherfucker.

Srsly, tho, entertaining thread.

when i was younger, i wass in my basement, who was my brothers room and i thought iwas home alone, soi started watching mtve nad eventually start wanking, and after a while i hear some noise, and i look up and my brother is lying on his bed and asking me what i am doing..... long time ago, now i live by myslef most of the time and i can do it anytime i want, but when there is really no chance of getting caught it isn´t as fun anymore,

Well, one day i tried suck my own dick and found out that i actually can do it and then for sme reason i jerked my head back and got whiplash.

one time i was doing it and my mom walked in on me and as she was yelling at to not look up porn i relisized i could almost finish so i rub my penis under my shirt (wich is hard cuz i have hebrew blood so i have a very large penis) and my mom saw me do it admedietly and thats ow i got kicked out of the house

At 6/22/07 04:05 AM, Hellian00 wrote: I once accidentally punched my balls. I then doubbled over from reflex and cummed on my face.

HAHAHAHAHA

Dude, fucking ace.

At 6/18/07 05:21 PM, itsflemz wrote: I pulled too hard and snapped my banjo sting (the connector to the foreskin bit)

FREE CIRCUMCISION!

At 7/3/07 05:08 PM, HotActionYiffFur2 wrote: I tryed to suck myself once...Almost snaped my spine >.<.

i have been able to suck 4 in of me but thats only cuz of a gag reflex but if i didnt have a gag reflex then i would swallo all 8 in

The first day i discovered the pleasures of self love, I enjoyed it a bit to much for a first-timer. I did 4 times in about 6 hours and my dick swelled unbelievably, i almost couldn't fit my hand round it, it also went red raw. Ouch. *shudders*

At 6/18/07 05:14 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: When I was young, I couldn't cum, I was too young. The first day I ever did, it splattered all over my shirt... What a mess it was.

well i haven't had a cumshot yet.....it just leaks all over my hand......

(wich is hard cuz i have hebrew blood so i have a very large penis)
Do i understand that your are black?

At 7/11/07 08:32 AM, wiidude wrote:

At 6/18/07 05:14 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: When I was young, I couldn't cum, I was too young. The first day I ever did, it splattered all over my shirt... What a mess it was.

well i haven't had a cumshot yet.....it just leaks all over my hand......

Ejaculation force usually increases with age. Because the muscles around the base of the penis get stronger. But some say its to do with penis length. Who knows?

I used my feet.

One time, i had 2 in 1 warming massage oil (KY-jelly) And i "had fun" with it, about 10 mins after i climaxed, i had a penus ache for 2 hours, idk why. since then i havent touched it.

This is the sickest... if not funniest shit i've ever read. The guy who hit his shoulder, The guy who did it with his feet, and the guy with the transvestites... I don't know whether or not you guys are lieing, but it's so funny i don't even care. HA HA HA!