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hmm, let me think.

when i first started masturbating, i would fold up my blankets*, which were insanely soft, into a mock vagina and... you get the point. but one time, my dad walked in, went wide-eyed, and walked out.

when i am not home alone, i keep my cock in my pants** and do it. usually my underwear absorbs it. but sometimes, after building up, there is to much to fast so i wind up with a large, smelly, spot on my pants

*=which are now crusty >:3
**=rubbing my banjo string, sometimes it gets sore :'C

At 6/29/07 04:09 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote: Wacking off with soft cock

( I AM ASHAMED, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SOFT UNTIL MY PENIS WAS HUGE RED AND SWOLLEN

How? I did that a few times your cock gets hard as you do it so it doesn't do anything.

-is lame and doesn't care- KateLynnn, check your PMs

At 6/18/07 05:10 PM, RabiesIsMe wrote: You didn't...lick your hands......afterwards....did you?

You're not supposed to lick you're hand...?

OH SHI-

At 6/29/07 04:15 PM, CartoonDiablo wrote:

At 6/29/07 04:09 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote: Wacking off with soft cock

( I AM ASHAMED, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SOFT UNTIL MY PENIS WAS HUGE RED AND SWOLLEN

How? I did that a few times your cock gets hard as you do it so it doesn't do anything.

Mine didn't

I used Walgreens brand lotion. After about a week, you get a major rash from that stuff.

You've been warned.

At 6/18/07 08:11 PM, EcilaSrennah wrote:

At 6/18/07 05:21 PM, Scarab-Stalk33r wrote: Contrary to belief, drinking one's semen after one has ejaculated is quite rewarding. Seriously.

O.O

..........

O.O *twitch*

Um...

O.O

>O Quiet you... just your little tendancies, do not perpetuate them upon teh rest

At 6/25/07 03:34 AM, j3554 wrote:

At 6/18/07 05:26 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: I remember the time I did it in the bathtub, using the soap. It felt great, but the next time I tried it I got soap down in the hole... It stung so bad and I had to get it out by spraying the showerhead in it.

I have made this mistake too while in the shower. It very quickly turned into a terrible mistake though. My "hole" is considerably more accessible to soap than yours. o.O

Yeah, I would guess so.
Another mistake I made was jacking off in the dark of night, because it went everywhere and I couldn't see where it went to clean it up.

At 6/29/07 04:04 PM, mastermalpass wrote:

I hate it when you nearly have an orgasm, but you hold yourself back incase there's better porn... But you've already had a half orgy, so you can't really get a full one in the end.

That happens to me all the time.

This is the most pathetic topic Ive ever seen. And it got a shit load of replies. What does that tell you about the majority of NG members?

God I missed this topic <3

At 7/1/07 01:16 PM, Kreator0943 wrote: This is the most pathetic topic Ive ever seen. And it got a shit load of replies. What does that tell you about the majority of NG members?

That you're straight and a waste of time.

The biggest thing I regret issss cumming. Ok, I had to goto a birthday party for my dad (he hired gay prostitutes and that's why I was going, I could give a fuck about him), but I was horny so I browsed 4chan for some porn, and came in my pants. It just feels better to massage my dick through pants - more friction. But then I had to go, and I had this big cumstain on my pants D:

I COULD'VE changed, but every one of my pants were skidded (I go commando. Fuck underwear).

At 6/25/07 03:34 AM, j3554 wrote: I have made this mistake too while in the shower. It very quickly turned into a terrible mistake though. My "hole" is considerably more accessible to soap than yours. o.O

This is fascinating. Girls talking about masturbating.

Males do it. Women do it. You know. I know it.

Yet - when in a "man I love girls" frame of mind, after watching gay porn all day it gets sickinening after awhile. But..watching girls talk about touching themselves is so fantastic. Because I, as a horny-ass 17 year old, have the power to talk like seeing a girl touch themselves is the greatest thing ever, in the truly sexually desperate way I and other 17 year olds are.

I wish I had a cunt.

At 6/25/07 05:18 AM, Hornby wrote: Lol I can go a week without masterbating

For now, young 13 year old.

For now.

At 6/25/07 05:18 AM, Hornby wrote: Lol I can go a week without masterbating

For now, young 13 year old.

For now.

Ha! It's true, But withing a few months about 13 1/2 you'll have trouble not masturbating. I've kinda gained an anti addiction ability (I'm 15 and can go for a fortnight without masturbation, you can do this by getting a girlfriend and only having passionate love... And then she shows up to you in a miniskirt and belly top and starts dirty dancing and posingfor you, just in the know that you're loving every minute of it and destroying the 'Gentleman' in you... Than kinda turns you on fully)

Once, i used tinfoil just for shits and giggles. I don't recommend it.

At 6/25/07 05:18 AM, Hornby wrote: Lol I can go a week without masterbating

For now, young 13 year old.

For now.

I can only go three days, but by then... I have to do it, even if theres no porn, I've gotten it up and out in less than ten minutes before. Without porn.

let it be known that computer screens do not like semen , no matter what , dont let the semen get onto your comp's screen , i once masturbated and it went to all kind of different directions and some of it hit the screen , man that was such a pain cleaning it .

I once did it so hard I actually bruised the end of it. Imagine my face in the afternoon when I felt like a wank and seeing that.

I got really horny one night and pulled me cock out started to toss, because it was raining outside and thundering, this lightning bolt hit outside my garden, scared me and i cummed all over my TV screen....

At 7/3/07 04:37 PM, Aaron4400 wrote: I got really horny one night and pulled me cock out started to toss, because it was raining outside and thundering, this lightning bolt hit outside my garden, scared me and i cummed all over my TV screen....

That's god's way of telling you "I'm watching you"

naahh I'm just scaring you.

My momma caught me once when I was much younger.

I was phone-fapping with a chick for the first time, and it got on my glasses.

Let it be known that cum is much harder to get off your glasses than anything else I've ever experienced. If there's not a water source nearby, you're going to be dealing with smeared glasses for the rest of the day.

I tryed to suck myself once...Almost snaped my spine >.<.

geez, clean my bed man. i felt like it in a random place... and now i cleaned my bed. nono. got a new one. get a new bed

While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...

My quick hiding maneuver is to pull my shirt over my penis, then just keep think to who ever's intruding "Yeah... Get out!"

well i was doin it whilst on the computer them my mom came in so i stuck it back in my trousersand she said "why does it smell of matches in here?" so i had to assure her that i wasnt playing with matches because mine smells like either cat food or parrafin oh and i had to change my pants

I JACKED OFF AND DIDN'T WIPE MY HANDS OFF AND I HAVEN'T JACKED OFF IN 3 DAYS AND THERE'S CUM EVERYWHERE AND I'M TYPING THIS WITH CUM ON MY HANDS AND MY BROTHER HAS TO USE THE COMPUTER WHEN I'M SLEEPING AFTER I GOT DONE JACKING OFF WITH CUM ON MY HANDS

At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...

Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her. Then I'd learn that she'd been secretly fingering herself to me while she slept. She later revealed that while I was asleep, she would jack me off and I wouldn't notice because I was such a heavy sleeper or passed out. Later revealing that we fantasized about fucking each other, naturally we both had incest fetishes. So I'd have her sit on my dick and start fucking her until I'm about ready to jack off, then I'd blow a load inside her mouth and finger her until she comes all in MY mouth, then we'd swap cum and then we'd pour it all back into her mouth so she can spit it back onto my cock, and she can suck it again.

At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...

Btw how old is she?