The Archive of Bad Topics

[Zerok]

This idea came to me late last night. Basically, a lot of topics are deleted before they even reach 5 posts, because they're just so shitty. A lot of them are made by new people, so the idea for this thread is that I'll copy and paste (or try to) all the opening posts of really delete-worthy topics here (namelessly) before I actually remove them. That way, for the new and aspiring BBS user, they can see tons of examples of what not to do!.

After each one, I'll toss in a little analysis as to why it was deleted.

I'll try to filter out ones made by alts being idiots or people making crap just to be showcased here. The idea is to capture genuine attempts at topic making.

As far as discussion goes, try to limit it to constructive posts that pertain to one or more of the items. Posts that are simply laughing at the crappiness of whatever ends up in here will be deleted, and you'll risk a ban. This is an archive, not a "poke-fun-at-noobs" thread, nor a "good idea!" thread.

All mods are welcome to participate, however, if you're taking the thread from somewhere other than General, try and state so because the 'reason-for-delete' may vary slightly if we're in a specific forum.

[Zerok]

Okay, since there are no example here yet, that means you shouldn't be posting.

Another clarification: if you're not a mod, you're can't delete topics, therefore you can't submit examples. I'm not going through the trouble of locking and unlocking this every time I want to use it just to save you people from a ban. There aren't many rules to this thread, it shouldn't be difficult to abide by them.

[Zerok]

A good first example:

Topic: Continue the story..
Body: Okay, all you gotta do is continure teh st0riez

There was once a man called Jerry, who felt the need to kick a women in the ovaries......

~~~~~

1) A common thread that you can find on almost any other forum, anywhere. On NG, we do not allow 'continue the story' threads or similar 'game' threads as these forums move way too fast for any chronological order. That is to say, many people will reply to a segment at the same time, which creates multiple paths, which confuses others. Anothe reason for disallowing these threads is that they generate spam; lazy users just use it as an excuse to post something rather than give it any creative thought.

2) "teh st0riez" - posting zeros instead of o's and deliberately spelling words wrong does not bolster your image, popularity, or any status on these boards. Often it used when other users are mocking people.

[Rucklo]

At 6/16/07 09:20 PM, Zerok wrote: A good first example:

Topic: Continue the story..
Body: Okay, all you gotta do is continure teh st0riez

There was once a man called Jerry, who felt the need to kick a women in the ovaries......

Great idea, Zerok, I actually deleted this very thread earlier (I guess the topic starter didn't get why it dissapeared).

Even though we're supposed to delete more than lock, I many times feel that an explanation is good, thread bookmarked! :)

I'll take this oppurtunity to promote the BBS houserules thread as well :)

[FIGMENTUM]

We don't care about your shitty myspace bulletins that you're gullible enough to believe. Posting them is an almost 100% guaranteed flamefest.

I got this message from my friend on MySpace...looks like bad news

"America is trying to ban anime! Which I think is wrong. They say anime is corrupting our childrens' minds, well forget that!! America is just trying to blame Japan and anime for their own mistakes! Anime is art so it would be like taking art away and that is not right. You know what else? Music is bad. Always talking about sex and drugs why don't those dumb idiots ban that too?!?

Please, we have to do something to stop this! Just going on typing in the words: 'America is banning anime' will lead you to different things so you may comment. We need as much help as possible, like starting our own petition and having as much signatures as possible! Thank you for your time!

1.Black Skittles Originals
2.Cotton Candy
3.Tadakichi
4.Rika fire
5.Kenji
6.Haku *Married to Rayne* *Relieved*
7.Sango(Really pissed off)(Feels like an idiot)
8.†Naraku♥Sango†
9.blaze~doesn't know who he is~
10.††Recca††
11. Inuyasha~missy's dark guardian~
12. PSYCHO KILLER
13. Raven™
14.cherry's origanals
15....:::Ka{go}me:::...
16.»Aryll.
17. Pepper~~
18. ~?LUST:FAKE LOVE?~
19.Master of the Unforgiven
20.†hê Äl¢hêm阮 ñïñjå
21.Master Phoenixwolf
22. {N}acola
23. †Tayuya†
24. Orgi's Awesome OriginalsWTH ANIME CANT BE
25.Kita
26.Abel anime can never be banned
27. P.H.A.S.E~~fight the power!
28. They just can't do this! :Morgan:
29. Hannah : THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN anime is my life. there r worst things in the world like global warming. they aint tryin to stop that. they say kids are our future well not if there isnt a future world to live on.
30.TAYLOR-THEY CAN'T BAN ANIME!!!I LOVE TO DRAW ANIME.IF THEY BAND IT...WHAT DO I DRAW.AMERICA IF YOU BAND ANIME...YOU SUCK!
31.Kera: damn u america!! i will leave if u fuckin do this to anime u fuckin faggots!!"
32.Red-Scorpion"

while im not sure if this is true or not,you try to find out then :P

[Jercurpac]

At 6/16/07 10:05 PM, navij11 wrote: Ok, allow me to find a few examples...

Let's reiterate this again. This thread is not for users to find threads they think are dumb and post them for lulz. It's for us moderators to post examples of threads that we have deleted and explain why they aren't allowed. Don't post threads that exist on this forum, just threads that have been deleted. What's this? You don't know what threads have been deleted? Well, I guess you'll just have to sit this thread out. Don't worry, I'm sure there will be others for you to participate in.

[Rucklo]

Topic: Screw Anime
Body: It sucks. Who cares? It just makes a bunch of retards.

I really shouldn't have to explain thisone, but if you wish to discuss anime, invite to discussion in a better way than just "It sucks, who cares?".

I mean, your opinion... it sucks, who cares?

[Zerok]

Topic: How was your day today?
Body: Mine was fine.

1) Your body should never typically be three words long. Until you have a good feel for the boards and know when to make threads that have short bodies, stay away from them.

2) The NGBBS is not an IM. An entire topic should not be devoted to asking how one's day went. Within a topic, or via PM, these things are fine (although when posting the topic, it's a good idea to remember to keep things on topic).

[Zerok]

Topic: You foe...you no hungry for vagina
Body: you hungry for hot pockets!!!!

Not vagina

hot pocket!!

Not penius hot pocket!!

Not hot pocket...Newgrounds!!

This is a good example of a spam topic that isn't blatant spam (i.e. SPAM! written over and over 100 times). It makes little sense, and the body of the topic offers nothing for discussion, it is simply something that a younger child may say aloud in an attempt at humour. Granted, children of similar age may find it amusing, but here on NG we try to keep the maturity level beyond that of a twelve year old (hence the sign up age restriction).

[JadeTheAssassin]

What did you have for dinner?

I had burritoes and cheese, lawl.
+100 pages of "I JUST ATE A..." and "DID YOU REALLY? THAT'S MY FAVRIT FEWD!"

It's a nice place to lurk and find +1 spam posts. :)

[Zerok]

To clarify, even further, since tons of people are getting needlessly banned by spamming in this topic:

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO POST IF THE POST IS RELEVANT TO ONE THE EXAMPLES HERE. KEEPING IN MIND THAT THE TOPIC'S INTENT IS TO HELP NEWCOMERS, YOUR POST SHOULD ADD SOME INSIGHT OR EXPANSION TO THE EXAMPLE.

[Zerok]

Topic: favorite tv shows
Body: just post em!

mines family guy

or maby fullmetal alchemist

1) Asking for a list of things is rarely a good idea. All it does is encourage lazy posters to chrotle off a few things, and it rarely invites discussion. Specific topics about a specific show would be ideal, but be sure to search and see if there's a club for the show in the Clubs & Crews forum first.
2) "What's your favourite _______" topics are generally disallowed, for pretty much the reason above.
3) There's a lack of attention paid to puncutation. Alone, this overlooking isn't going to get your topic deleted for certain, but it certainly helps to capitalize and put periods where they should be.

[LokLokLok]

At 6/17/07 01:34 AM, Zerok wrote: Topic: favorite tv shows
Body: just post em!

mines family guy

or maby fullmetal alchemist

1) Asking for a list of things is rarely a good idea. All it does is encourage lazy posters to chrotle off a few things, and it rarely invites discussion. Specific topics about a specific show would be ideal, but be sure to search and see if there's a club for the show in the Clubs & Crews forum first.
2) "What's your favourite _______" topics are generally disallowed, for pretty much the reason above.
3) There's a lack of attention paid to puncutation. Alone, this overlooking isn't going to get your topic deleted for certain, but it certainly helps to capitalize and put periods where they should be.

If i understood your previous posts i may also give examples of why not to post those sort of things right?

4) you may be likely to be flamed it may cause a flame war of "FAMILY GUY SUCKS!" or "SOUTH PARK ALL THE WAY" And if im correct some topics might be locked for starting a flame war/ being flamebait.

5) These sorts of topics are made often and get tiresome to see while lurking... not that that's bad but it might be pushing a good topic or something off of front page of the BBS.

[Zerok]

At 6/17/07 01:44 AM, LokLokLok wrote: If i understood your previous posts i may also give examples of why not to post those sort of things right?

Yes. Congrats on being the first in probably 20 posts to get it right. Frankly, I figured I'd be deleting maybe 5 posts. Guess I overestimated the populace.

4) you may be likely to be flamed it may cause a flame war of "FAMILY GUY SUCKS!" or "SOUTH PARK ALL THE WAY" And if im correct some topics might be locked for starting a flame war/ being flamebait.

Good point. While the intent of the Original Poster (OP) may be fine, if the topic is judged to be a of a nature that causes users to automatically respond with insults, then it is often shut down. I'm sure many of these will end up here.

[kylexthexpostman]

At 6/17/07 01:50 AM, Zerok wrote: Good point. While the intent of the Original Poster (OP) may be fine, if the topic is judged to be a of a nature that causes users to automatically respond with insults, then it is often shut down. I'm sure many of these will end up here.

One of the rules is staying on topic of the thread, so what you said pretty much summed it up?

Also, I'm a shit poster, I make shit threads, and the shit gets deleted. My threads have no point (most of the time), and shouldn't even be posted. It's spamming, and that's b-a-a-a-d.

[Zerok]

Topic: kids r stupid
Body: http://kids.funnypart.com/

1) A body consisting only of a link is not a good idea. Even a few words, briefly summarizing the contents of the link or the promise of a good laugh make the thread so much better (however, links to videos should be posted here). The only topics in this form that tend to survive more often than not are news article posts, where the topic is a headline and the body is a link. But even those are made better by supportive text.

2) Substituing 'are' for 'r' in the title. This is a magnet for mods. If you're too lazy to spell the simplest words correctly in your title, chances are you're not going to have a brilliantly constructed body either.

[Rucklo]

Topic: We are having an orgy.
Body: Daveman said he will bring the salsa.

Very close to spam, if you want to make a fun fun thread, try a little harder than this.

[Zerok]

Topic: if zombies attacked
Body: if zombies took over the earth and you were one of the few survivors fighting the zombie scurge and one of them bit you, would you commit suicide?

saying the infection was spread through bites would you? its easily said but commiting suicide is a hard thing to do, imagine it

1) While the spelling, grammar and punctuation in this thread's body is acceptable, the theme is not. For some reason, this "what would you do if zombies attacked?" scenario is commonplace among a lot of NG users, and one of these threads pop up from time to time. If you search "zombie" in the search bar at the bottom, you'll come across topics with practically the same title. I have no doubt that there are topics of the exact same nature with less obvious titles as well.

[Zerok]

Topic: Wii supports war on terrorism

Body: Okay I have decoded the secret message regarding the Wii and every thing else regarding the wii

Wii = War in Iraq
Mii = Milatary in Iraq

Nintendo is just like Borat

1) This is a good example of someone who put zero effort in attempt to be humourous. They connected a few meaningless things in their head, and in a moment of weakness, decided it would be a good topic. Try to avoid posting things you think are funny if you are not in fact, a funny person. If you can honestly look at what you've thought up and say "heh, that IS sort of clever," then go for it. If not, chances are it will not be recieved well on the BBS.

[Zerok]

Topic: I found 2 hotties

Body: One hot Native American!

And this Brazilian chick

Dont you all agree!

* the bolded items were links, one to a myspace, one to a video.

1) The NG BBS is not you to post random trivial things. The idea is to create a thread that generates some form of discussion, or at least ongoing, unspammy posting.
2) On the internet, it's not difficult to find pictures, videos, or profiles of attractive people. So this thread was as useless as someone posting "hey i used Google!"

[Twerpo]

At 6/17/07 12:03 AM, Zerok wrote: Topic: You foe...you no hungry for vagina
Body: you hungry for hot pockets!!!!

Not vagina

hot pocket!!

Not penius hot pocket!!

Not hot pocket...Newgrounds!!

That's a ban? I've seen many well respected users make topics mocking comercials much like that one and make about as much sense as that topic and it blooms into a multi page topic. Could you elaborate on what was so bad about the topic?

[Zerok]

At 6/17/07 05:17 PM, Twerpo wrote: That's a ban? I've seen many well respected users make topics mocking comercials much like that one and make about as much sense as that topic and it blooms into a multi page topic. Could you elaborate on what was so bad about the topic?

It had all the air of a sub-13 year old's sense of humour. It was simply immature spam.
As for other users getting away with it, it's either due to the lack of mods on at the time, or something called idiosyncrasy credits.

In layman's terms, they're basically this intangible point system, whereby one who acts within the acceptable behaivoural limits of his/her group gains builds up these credits. When he/she acts in a deviant/taboo manner, they can trade the credits for a less harsh punishment, or even have the behaviour accepted.

In lameoid NG terms, it's like cool points come to life.

For a more detailed account on spam, check this out.

Hmm, while this may not be what you're really asking for here, I'll try to lend a handing in helping some of our newer users!

I've seen threads with "might be true" claims in them like "Bush cuts education budget" or something, often with a small body. I've frequently seen these threads get locked if they do not supply a link, and a few mods (particulaly Zerok) will ask the user nicely to remake the topic with a link or a briefing or something (or a picture if it was a photoshop thread with a tiny picture).

Sorry if this was already posted or is completely wrong.

[Zerok]

Another clarification:

IF YOU DON'T THINK THIS THREAD IS A GOOD IDEA, THAT'S NICE. I'M STILL GOING TO MAINTAIN IT. SEEING AS HOW IT DOES NOT AFFECT YOUR POSTING AT ALL, THERE IS NO NEED TO GET YOURSELF BANNED BY EXPRESSING YOUR OPINION IN HERE.

Christ, I should have just did the whole first post in bold block caps.

Sorry abou this, but there's something I forgot to add to my previous post: topic titles. I've seen mods lock threads for not having a descriptive thread title, usually something like "lol". Coincidentally, I've seen these threads get deleted frequently since most of them are spam.

Some mods ask the user to remake the thread if it looks non-spammy, at least to my knowledge.

[36Holla]

I guess I could give it a try

Topic: Attn. <insert user name here>

Body: <Insert personal message here>

Obviously this is why the entire PM system was created. If you want to have a one on one conversation with another user, use AIM, MSN or PMs. The forum is not the place to be posting your angst towards another users posting behavior or to tell them what you did at the mall yesterday.

Besides, a topic involving the word 'Attn.' just screams that its only meant for one user, thus excluding other users, and undermining the whole meaning of having a forum.

[Zerok]

Scarab, your posts are accurate, thanks.
36Holla, that's a good example of a common deleted thread. *thumbs up*

Topic: Ps3 Or Wii?

Body: Hey guys,

I dont know which to get for my next birthday, a PS3 or a Wii. They are both awsome when I played it at my friends House.

So, Which one is the best?

1) Console threads that simply ask which 'console is best' aren't allowed on here any more. They just generate way too much needless flaming, as some people value performance, some value graphics, some value price, etc. Unfortunately people here tend not to embrace other's values but attack them, and THIS particular argument was just out of control.

I'd just like to add another type of thread I'm not sure has really been touched upon yet.

From my experience, "which console is better?" threads always end up in big flame wars. This sounds pretty obvious, since it is the Internet, but today in particular, there has been a number of "IE VS FIREFOX LOL" threads that end up in the same way as console war threads; flame wars and ridiculous arguments.

I'm not sure how the mods feel on this one, but to me there is no difference between the two, and I've seen many (usually console related threads) locked on sight.

[Zerok]

At 6/18/07 12:38 PM, Scarab-Stalk33r wrote: I'm not sure how the mods feel on this one, but to me there is no difference between the two, and I've seen many (usually console related threads) locked on sight.

What it usually is are things that nerds like. And I mean it. A lot of people here are passionate about consoles, web browsers, OS's, programs for this, programs for that. So it is a generally bad idea to make topics that pit one type of nerd-friendly item against another, because people start to argue senselessly. Mac VS PC gets locked all the time too.

[Maus]

At 6/18/07 12:38 PM, Scarab-Stalk33r wrote: I'm not sure how the mods feel on this one, but to me there is no difference between the two, and I've seen many (usually console related threads) locked on sight.

When they get to the point of becioming a 'limited choice topic' (such as 'coke v. pepsi' or 'metallica v. megadeth') I just delete them. I do believe that when the new consoles premiered, I made a thread telling folks that their console topics would be locked/deleted and they could go to gamespot to chatter, since everybody wanted to be the one with a console thread to their name.

If a user is brand new, I usually lock with an exhortation to lurk the forums before creating any more topics that may have been done to death.