unfaithful

[mysecondstar]

more of an ethical problem than a political one. i was compelled to make this thread after talking to Lyddie.

there is a lack faithfulness among couples these days. divorce rates are taking off, and unfaithfulness even outside of marriage is rampant. maybe i've just been drinking a little too much, but i don't know why. it completely escapes me. you do everything you can but it's almost like it's not enough. i'm just throwing this out into the void so that hopefully i can find out why.

[JMHX]

Could you cheat if your partner had a dog like this?

[FUNKbrs]

At 6/4/03 09:19 AM, evilkate wrote: I think how young people marry is a problem as well as some of the reasons. Pregnancy, as an example, seems to be a big reason for people to get married. Of course, the marriage won't last and I personally don't believe that's better for the child anyway.

Also, many people grow up in broken homes. If your parents were divorced- or even stayed together, but had an unhealthy marriage, then you never observed how a good marriage should be. We learn what we live.

Gotta agree here, but I think its a lot simpler than that. You see, my parents are still together, and I know why. Because they arent in love. That's right. Love is not a good enough reason to get married, stability is. The entire purpose of a marriage is to create a financially stable environment for the purposes of raising children in order that the genetic line and family name may continue for the next generation. Any other reason than that one is foolish. Furthermore, infidelity or the lack thereof, or love should have nothing to do with it. Till death do us part, not, till death, or you cheat on me, or we "just don't get along like we used to" or our parents hate each other, or until we run out of money.

[Lyddiechu]

yea.. funk... i completely agree with you. the reason my boyfriend and i work so well together is that we were friends for 3-4 years before we ever started dating so we already knew all of each other's idiosyncracies and annoying habits. we tolerate each other very well.. which is quite a task since both of us have more than just a few screws loose.

another thing that helps is if the two partners have enough differences to keep things interesting. ive ended so many relationships (in my17 years) because i was just bored of the other person. DONT date someone who is too similar to you!!! it will be miserable!

[antiqkk]

At 6/4/03 09:49 AM, Lyddiechu wrote: yea.. funk... i completely agree with you. the reason my boyfriend and i work so well together is that we were friends for 3-4 years before we ever started dating so we already knew all of each other's idiosyncracies and annoying habits. we tolerate each other very well.. which is quite a task since both of us have more than just a few screws loose.

I have to agree with that one. You have to know your partnet well and get along well, ever before you go into a serious relationship (unlike today, when people meet today, fuck tonight, get pregnant tomorrow and get married just for the fuck of it).
The girl I happen to be in love with (not my girlfriend anymore, as you know how it is after highschool: people go off to different places, different universities. And yeah, I left, she stayed behind. My mistake, I'll probably never forgive myself for. But anyway.) was my best friend for years. We were always together and knew each other so well, so everything was perfect and I know it would have lasted well, if it was given a proper chance from the beginning.
I have to also agree that the root of the problem with unstable marriages lies in the way people are brought up these days. They are not taught to appreciate what they have and do not see stability in marriage as something important.

[Nirvana13666]

I think if you marry or decide to form a relationship with a person but down the road they start changing then why shouldn't two people have the choice to go there separate ways?

Would you rather they hate each other. I do feel it is important to work problems out but sometimes they just can't be. People need to be civilized adults when it comes to love because man love can make you kill someone.
_______________________________________
I’d like to drown out everyone else and make this post a little personal...sorry

I know this person will read this eventually….Just cause we are apart right now doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I’d never want to hate you but if we stay together I will….forgive my decision and allow fate to take its course.

[VigilanteNighthawk]

At 6/4/03 09:19 AM, evilkate wrote: I think how young people marry is a problem as well as some of the reasons. Pregnancy, as an example, seems to be a big reason for people to get married. Of course, the marriage won't last and I personally don't believe that's better for the child anyway.

Also, many people grow up in broken homes. If your parents were divorced- or even stayed together, but had an unhealthy marriage, then you never observed how a good marriage should be. We learn what we live.

I agree completely with you evil. I just broke up with my fiancee, and it was in part because we were too young to get engaged (which put stress on the relationship that wouldn't have been there otherwise) and because neither one of us had seen a good marriage. My parents loved each other, but my mother was very hard to please, and my mother complained about him to the day he died (and now, a year and a half later, no man she has met is as good a man as him, this from her own lips) and her father was a compulsive cheater for years ( a tradition she seems to have followed).
I also think another problem is that in our society we have begun to value instant gratification too highly. If something isn't working in a marriage, its easier to just pick up and leave, and in the short term more gratifying, than to work on it. This need for instant gratification has lead people to behave foolishly. In the beginning, just about any relationship is great, exciting, and romantic, but what the people don't realize is that it does not last, and if they are lucky, they will end up with exactly what they had just left in the long term. Our oversexed culture, though, has led many to believe this unfortunate lie, that it is better to have a passionate romance than to spend the rest of your life with best and closest friend.

[VigilanteNighthawk]

*note: my ex fiancees father was a compulsive cheater, not my grandfather, and my ex-fiancee is a cheater, my mother was completely faithful to my father.