Just dont know what to do...

[esko-man]

here are the basics...

> Girlfriend from abusive home

> Girlfriend put in foster care (and very happy there)

> Stupid bitch from Children Services doesn't believe abuse

> Girlfriend scheduled to return to abusive home

> Girlfriend is suicidal upon returning to abusive home

Now, she wants to run away, to a place with people who will help her, and she wants/needs me there with her. If I do not go with her, she will kill herself. She's not the attention whore emo, but the kind who was actually put through a shit of a life and will do it.

If I go with her, she will live, but my life will be ruined. My job, car, and home will be gone upon running. And most likely, criminal charges will be pressed against me for it.

I've already contacted the Attorney General for Ohio who rules over child abuse and foster care cases, but no reply has been received yet. (I only sent it a few hours ago) Now if she can hold on, a lawyer might be provided to her who can get fix this all. If she can't handle it long enough, she will end up dead, or with me as a runaway, with no future help.

I can't convince her just to stay, and I don't want to ask her to go back to an abusive home. I really don't know what to do here. And this is a very serious matter. If you can offer somewhat helpful advice or knowledge, please do so.

[Sh0T-D0wN]

A body is a body, even if it's void of life.

Or just try and stall her by inviting her to your house, then commence with the distractions.

[dalmo]

Tell her to man up and once she turns 16 get imancipated suicide is for the weak minded.

[Bomshaw]

Honk Honk, theree V dubs for under 17,000 !!!!

Drive by her yelling that. It should cheer her, and you up

[Net-terrorist]

That's pretty deep. Think about it this way,
You have ONE life, but there's lots more fish in the sea. I say forget her, your life isn't worth hers UNLESS you really, really, and only truly love her. If you can't decide from the two choices given, try to talk to her, if nothing works, forget her.

[KoolAIDS]

I suggest you tell her to stop being a pussy, and if she says anything smack the bitch.

[36Holla]

You should probably think it through a bit more. Why not have her live at your house for a bit, at least giving you guys enough time to contact the proper authorities on this.

[esko-man]

At 6/3/07 09:20 PM, Net-terrorist wrote: That's pretty deep. Think about it this way,
You have ONE life, but there's lots more fish in the sea. I say forget her, your life isn't worth hers UNLESS you really, really, and only truly love her. If you can't decide from the two choices given, try to talk to her, if nothing works, forget her.

I really, truly love her. I've done so much for her, and she would do so much for me still... We've been through a lot together, and even the thought of never seeing her again, never talking to her again, or touch her again, it makes me go into a comatose....

At 6/3/07 09:32 PM, 36Holla wrote: You should probably think it through a bit more. Why not have her live at your house for a bit, at least giving you guys enough time to contact the proper authorities on this.

We're only 16 and my dad would never let her even if it was life or death...

And as far as emancipation, in Ohio you can only be emancipated for marriage (we would have to make it to Tennessee to do it) or military, which you have to graduate high school for.

[ChaDMcBaDD]

just get all romantic and shit so she will fuck u. and have all night hardcore fuck session then dump the bitch. its her problem, not urs. might as well get a good one out of it before she kills herself.

am i dick?

[Pointy-Circle]

At 6/3/07 09:55 PM, ChaDMcBaDD wrote: just get all romantic and shit so she will fuck u. and have all night hardcore fuck session then dump the bitch. its her problem, not urs. might as well get a good one out of it before she kills herself.

am i dick?

You are a total fucking insensitive fuckbag.

[ripoffhitman]

Dude, you need to talk with her. You are going to get nowhere if you just try to take everything how she puts it at first. Tell ur parents the truth and crap, then see if she can like stay somewhere for a little while so everything can clear up. I know you don't want to hear the whole calm down and wait crap from me, because you feel like no matter what you do someone is gona either die or be screwed for the rest of their life. But really, you just need to talk it out, fix everything up, and try to get her focussed on something happy rather than stuff about suicide.

[LeopoldKain]

Get her a cell phone and next time she gets abused she calls who 911

Cops come

Cops see abuse

Cops arrest someone

She goes back to where she was happy.

[Z-U-L-U]

At 6/3/07 09:19 PM, Bomshaw wrote: Honk Honk, theree V dubs for under 17,000 !!!!

Drive by her yelling that. It should cheer her, and you up

LMAO, if that doesn't work try the ''Don't worry be Happy'' song.

Seriously, what I would do is go back to the abusive home and set them ( I assumer her father ) straight. Though sometimes that can start a viscous circle of more abuse. In regards to running away with her, first of all did you really see your self spending the rest of your life with this woman or was it just a fling? If it were just a fling ide just mind my own business but that's just me, most ppl couldn't with themselves if they just turned there back. Another idea would be to get a camera and get some better evidence of abuse that you could present in court and make sure legally she would never have to see the abuser(s) again, ofcourse that could take some time. While recording you might find out that maybe she wasn't even abused, maybe she was just acting out in a tantrum and called the authorities on her parents. I don't know if your just hearing this all from what she said or what but all I can go buy is what you told me. You just need to understand the situation better, is she really abused?,really suicidal?,or is she just some spoiled brat who has a grudge against her parents?,does she love you or you her? If she really loved you she wouldn't have asked you to ruin your life for her, sounds like a very selfish act to me, but that's just me. What ever you decide make sure you don't regret it.

[Rallard]

This is a pretty serious predicament. A friend of a friend of mine actually DID kill herself over something similar, though she wasn't from an abusive home, she was just suicidal. Anyway, the boyfriend felt that he could've stopped it (as I suppose he didn't take the threat seriously when she pleaded for him not to go home), and worse yet, people from our school (the one where me and the girl attended; my friend and the boyfriend went to another school) began to spread rumors that it was the boyfriend's fault. I explained the best I could what happened, but of course I couldn't tell everyone, so only my friends knew the the truth. The rest of the school blamed him. I don't think my friend and the bf of the chick have been the same since.

Anyway, it's obvious you're taking her threat seriously, but weighing your options at the same time. My only suggestion (if it's possible, I haven't read the entire thread) is to ask your parents if she can move in with you until things calm down, or contact your school consellor.

And if this is a joke topic... well... god damnit. @_@;

[galatea1]

O.K. This is a situation in which I can actually help. But I'm going to need more information. On what grounds was she removed from her family in the first place? Why is the foster home losing custody of her (I'll need specifics before I can advise.) What are your parent's views about this? Does she have any extended family? So on. PM me if you must. I've fought many child abuse battles. One thing I'm going to tell you right now, though, is you're going to need the assistace of a competent adult in your area. PLEASE DO NOT RUN AWAY WITH HER and feel free to have her PM me too. SHE MUST NOT COMMIT SUICIDE IF SHE IS RETURNED HOME!!! Just because she is returned home for a time doesn't mean she has to stay there. Tell her to hold tight until things are figured out.

[esko-man]

I think this is the end of it. It comes down to a few messages back and forth between her cell and my messenger...

The way I spend the rest of my life, depends on these last moments.

[galatea1]

At 6/3/07 11:19 PM, esko-man wrote: I think this is the end of it. It comes down to a few messages back and forth between her cell and my messenger...

The way I spend the rest of my life, depends on these last moments.

No it doesn't. Hang in there. Either way, it's ultimately her decision. But running away or commiting suicide isn't the answer. I can't stress enough that I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE. I'd be happy to communicate with her, if you like. But I'll need to PM as the threads have a post quota.

[Fluffington]

Easy, Just don't go out with her.

Problem solved.

[Shawn]

At 6/3/07 11:25 PM, Frank-The-Hedgehog wrote: Easy, Just don't go out with her.

Problem solved.

Uh huh

and i thought i was an asshole :S

[Impornant]

Dude what you should do is to show that you love her but you can't go away because first of all, there would be no way to support both of you well. The second thing is that she is ruining your chance at a good job and a way to support children. You should try to be with her at all times without her running away. So just stay with her and tell her suicide isn't the answer because then she would make you sad because you can't ever see her or talk to her again.

[esko-man]

And one thing is, she doesn't really want to kill herself. She just thinks it's the only thing she can do to keep away from there.

[thedude27]

convince her to go through the legal channels and tell her to hang in there untill she can get away for good. if she runs away theyll just catch her and put her back.you proably wont want to do what i would do because, well your not me and proably not crazy enough to do it, but i would just leave the country and travel around the world doin jobs when i need money and movin from place to place, iwould start with brazil.

[Impornant]

Tell her to check child service and get some proof she is being abused and they will do something about it.

[esko-man]

At 6/3/07 11:33 PM, CHRlST wrote: Why don't you go to her house with her and kick the abuser(s) ass(es)?

I mean seriously, get a gang of bro's and rough 'em up. Unless you're weak or the abuser(s) is/are fucking strong.

Well I'm not tremendously weak, but he's an army dude, and is very strong.

[CapnCrunchDaPimp]

At 6/3/07 09:18 PM, dalmo wrote: Tell her to man up and once she turns 16 get imancipated suicide is for the weak minded.

Yeah, I agree, especially about the suicide

[galatea1]

At 6/3/07 11:33 PM, CHRlST wrote: Why don't you go to her house with her and kick the abuser(s) ass(es)?

I mean seriously, get a gang of bro's and rough 'em up. Unless you're weak or the abuser(s) is/are fucking strong. If all else fails, shoot someone, thus distracting her from her life and getting her attention on the shot person.

Well, while I myself would like to hop a flight to Ohio and nail her abusers, in reality all that would do is open up a ugly can of worms which she, in her fragile state, would in the end feel responsible for. I sure wish she could stay with my family. Poor kid. LOL we'd probably just drive the kid battier.

[Cigolini55]

well dude idk about helping u out on this one but i might give u better advice then most others but it may sound stupid and accurate..have u tried getting her therapy?? Also put her in a clinic for 1 or 2 days since she cant stay at your place, or have u tried a best friends house maybe?? Or maybe get her in a low rent hotel for a couple of days till the authorites call back and tell u the sitution i know this might sound easy but hey i have a girlfriend too but were okie dokie and i didnt know things can happen like this and turn out really really bad. Also i understand Ohio Laws are holding u down but ever though of moving in to california, so idk. But if u love her, dude, help her if not then god may kill u and send u into heaven for making this girl life worse. Well i hope u read this.

Cigolini

[esko-man]

Okay, she's alive for another day, but she's still asking me to take her away. She called me a few minutes ago to tell me that children services called her and her foster parents in for a meeting and she just left for that. I'm hoping this is something that will change it all, and this is where faith is put to the test.

[SirLebowski]

If alls it takes for a girl to kill herself is a little abuse I wouldn't have eaten as many sammiches as I have had in my lifetime.

[7384-9809]

At 6/3/07 11:32 PM, Ss2-teen-gohan-Ss2 wrote: Tell her to check child service and get some proof she is being abused and they will do something about it.

That will work, all she needs is a video tape or voice recording or have someone to witness the abuse (like the police or something).

DON'T run, it only makes thing worse especially when you both get caught.

For now, try looking to temporary residence for the girl to stay at (like a motel or a youth hostel) until all the legal issues and dust have settled down.