Illegalize Hats!

[A-Carrot-By-Dr-Riot]

Hats (an article of clothing used to cover ones head) should be illegal. It is a piece of clothing that is completely unneccessary. It is a gateway to more dangerous articles of clothing (such as birkenstocks or even, thongs, a female undergarment that is too titilating for mature discussion), and creates a vicious circle as one cannot work at a job if one is wearing a hat (would you want to eat at a resturaunt that employed a bunch of hat-wearers) and in order to supply ones hat habit one must continually buy more hats and various hat related paraphenilia. According to studies, hats can cause serious mental and social disorders. Clearly, no good can come of hats, therefore they should not be tolerated.

I propose that we invoke a 6 month prison sentence for anyone who is caught wearing a hat. Furthermore, a three strikes program should be implemented with life in prison for people who won't stop.

Most importantly, we must stop these hat dealers, those sick profiteers who provide addicts with caps (a slang term for hats) and various other aids including devices used to curve the bill of the hat into a 'cool' curve.

I understand that many of you out there might have worn a hat once of twice. This doesn't mean you can't be against hats (one of my best friends even used a hat once, I guess he gave in to peer pressure, I don't hold it against him because he quit for good). Talk to your children early, before peer pressure is a big effect. Encourage them to find their own "anti hat" a natural way to cover their heads. Example "anti hats" are hair or staying indoors. These safe, natural hair covers are much better than hats, and if your children are taught that they don't have to wear hats to be cool they will never find the need to.

Just say NO to hats (and masturbation and marijuana)

[House-Of-Leaves]

*dies*

Oh...oh, these are getting better.

[FUNKbrs]

Ever since I learned about hoods and shawls, I've been hat-free for the last 5 years. Thank God for hataholics anonymous, that's all I can tell you...

[Jiperly]

somehow i feel like this is all connected to your belief that pot should be legalized because it is criminalized for the same stupid reasons as these are/should be....

[JMHX]

I must say, I have an extensive collection of Fedoras, and would combat this legislation as high as the Judgist Senate!

[Jimsween]

What about visors? NVM I just realized that nobody in thier right mind would wear a visor.

[karasz]

At 5/27/03 10:41 PM, Dr_Arbitrary wrote: Hats (an article of clothing used to cover ones head) should be illegal. It is a piece of clothing that is completely unneccessary. It is a gateway to more dangerous articles of clothing and creates a vicious circle as one cannot work at a job if one is wearing a hat

hmmm... i have a question for ya just because something is useless does it mean it should be illegal??? cuz if so, then the politics forum should be thrown in the same light... all we do is sit around and talk, when we could be doing work... the same could be said about the internet... why have it when people use it for porn more than anything else... I say, you make a good point...

DOWN WITH THE INTERNET

[House-Of-Leaves]

I've begun campaigning for the No-Hat Brigade. I believe we'll be a fully functional political party by the next election year.

[mysecondstar]

At 5/27/03 11:08 PM, jimsween wrote: What about visors? NVM I just realized that nobody in thier right mind would wear a visor.

*ahem*

i wear visors. and none of that cheap adidas crap people have been wearing. or that trashy looking shiznat i see around. i wear it when i play golf and tennis. and once in a while for leisure. but i'm done. no you're not! shut up! no you shut up! god damn it now they'll think we're crazy now!

[AbstractVagabond]

At 5/27/03 11:08 PM, jimsween wrote: What about visors? NVM I just realized that nobody in thier right mind would wear a visor.

Superman does. Must have a lot of them. I figure this since Superman leaves them at every job site which ticks off all the employees. They always complain about those damn Supervisors.

I strive long distances for stupid jokes, ladies and gentlemen. :-)

[House-Of-Leaves]

HAHAHAH!!! Supervisors...haha

Ha!

That was great!

So, yeah...I agree. Visors are, I think, sometimes better than hats.

I wear them when I play softball, or tennis in the sun. It doesn't make my head sweat, and it keeps the sun out of my eyes!

[nitroxide]

At 5/27/03 11:08 PM, jimsween wrote: What about visors? NVM I just realized that nobody in thier right mind would wear a visor.

<Discreetly takes off visor>

::Spotted by jim nitro balls up in a corner in shame::

[Ted-Easton]

Of course hats should be illegal! Criminalize them!
They are SUCH a menace to society, hat wearers should be Locked Up!