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Illegalize Masturbation!

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Nirvana13666
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 12:07:35

Religiously masturbation is wrong because sex is only for reproduction. To illegalize it would link religion and state even tighter then it’s existing position. I sure hope this was just some clever attempt to form an unconventional debate.

PreacherJ
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 13:54:18

At 5/26/03 11:25 PM, Lyddiechu wrote: every child is a gift from god?? my skinny, non-pregnant ass it is.. a gift to go on welfare and eat government cheese for the rest of its life uh huh.

I can't believe you said this. I love government cheese. Almost as much as I love masturbating.

*Shuffles off to his VCR and bottle of lotion*

PreacherJ
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 14:34:03

*Ignores fucking nerd trying to start a flame war*

*Realizes Firball-X is looking in the mirror*

*Laughs at Firball's idiocy*

Lyddiechu
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 14:47:39

At 5/27/03 01:54 PM, PreacherJ wrote:
At 5/26/03 11:25 PM, Lyddiechu wrote: every child is a gift from god?? my skinny, non-pregnant ass it is.. a gift to go on welfare and eat government cheese for the rest of its life uh huh.
I can't believe you said this. I love government cheese. Almost as much as I love masturbating.

*Shuffles off to his VCR and bottle of lotion*

im just jealous since im not poor enough to get any government cheese. waah.

A-Carrot-By-Dr-Riot
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 14:56:49

At 5/27/03 02:34 PM, PreacherJ wrote: *Ignores fucking nerd trying to start a flame war*

*Realizes Firball-X is looking in the mirror*

*Laughs at Firball's idiocy*

Oh no. I seem to have forgotten that some people are incapable of understanding the more complex methods of debate such as irony, sarcasm, and exposing the absurdity of a related issue. From now on I will stick to what everyone can understand.

Fuck, I haet mastrebatin. ppl who mastrbate are sikos and shuud get lade sum time. Fuck you all you fuckers. fucker fuck fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck fuck.

There, I hope that that I was able to get my point across to all of you who are incapable of understanding well thought out arguments.

Dr. Arbitrary

PreacherJ
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 14:59:07

Well said, Doc. Don't worry, though. There's one of 'em in every thread.

A-Carrot-By-Dr-Riot
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 15:01:52

No, I have fun with it. It was better when the politics board was a little less mature... actually no, the mocking idiots factor is a small price to pay for maturity.

ZenGaijin
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 15:20:31

I was thinking about this how can they illegalize something that you do to yourself.So in that case i guess suicide should be illegal to and after the persons dead we lock up there corpse. I mean seriously what the fuck business of yours is it what someone does in the privacy of there own home. I have an idea lets imprison all people that want to force there ideals and morals on other people.


"The worst kind of coward is one that is only brave enough to show his face in the dark...."

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Kenney333
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 15:46:10

I sure hope thats sarcasm, cause if its not, wow, your goin to hell

Jiperly
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 16:05:25

o m g

i want to go over to your house and kick you in the face, repeativily, for saying something so god damned stupid. And i guess i got that urge from waking off, huh?

prove the connection of masterbation to commiting crimes and i'll prove the connection to not masterbating to commiting crimes. How? the same proof you have- none.

You cannot impose your will on people because you think illy of Masterbation. Next thing you know, gays and lesibeins should be illlegal too, since the way they make love is a way of masterbation.

If you have a vendena against porno's and rapists, i can understand, but going around and demanding that all people who sexually pleasure their own PRIVATE body in their own PROPERTY be placed in jail for six monthes (!!!) , then i'll just place you into the insane list, because thats what that subject you just made was.

heres a link to help you on your blind self-rightous crusade.

http://www.whitehouse.org/initiatives/purity/index.asp

FUNKbrs
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 16:23:38

a topic made just for me, I feel so special

*turns DAG light on "blinding"*

As we all know, in order to masturbate, one must create a fantasy, and then manually stimulate one's self. But this is clearly fantasizing about sexually deviant behavior, because masturbation is sexual gratification without social consent, ie, noone else is having sex with you which makes the sexual experience an antisocial one. It ostracizes the masturbater from the the sexual community, and opens the pathways to fetishism, which may lead to rape/pedaphilia fantasies, which in turn may lead to physical acts.


My band Sin City ScoundrelsOur song Vixen of Doom
HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."

TheShrike
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 16:27:51

Masturbation for Physicists


"A witty quote proves nothing."
~Voltaire

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Lyddiechu
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 17:16:10

here is a funny joke that is sort of on topic:

A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane.

After a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my
faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly. He was silent for about five minutes, and then
he said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

Ted-Easton
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 18:44:03

Ah, I remember when this thread was begun.
I feel so old. Even though it was only a few months ago.

nitroxide
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 19:33:23

At 5/27/03 04:23 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: a topic made just for me, I feel so special

*turns DAG light on "blinding"*

As we all know, in order to masturbate, one must create a fantasy, and then manually stimulate one's self. But this is clearly fantasizing about sexually deviant behavior, because masturbation is sexual gratification without social consent, ie, noone else is having sex with you which makes the sexual experience an antisocial one. It ostracizes the masturbater from the the sexual community, and opens the pathways to fetishism, which may lead to rape/pedaphilia fantasies, which in turn may lead to physical acts.

What about with social consent?When preformed with your partner as a fetish itself.It cant lead to the fetish of rape or pedaphilia if the person doesnt posses any of these thoughts prior to masturbating.Someone wants to masturbate doesnt neccessarily mean it is because he has unconventional or imoral thoughts.If masturbation is done to you or you doing to another or in the presence of your partner then no fantasizing is needed therefore wont lead to those thoughts.

Jimsween
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 20:50:51

At 5/27/03 10:48 AM, JudgeMeHarshX wrote: Well, Jim, at least I type with both hands instead of one on the rod, just like you. Besides, you've inserted more states and territories of the U.S. than I ever could.

The only reason you manage type with both hands is because you no longer need to have one up your anus, now you have the state of Alabama up there.
And FYI I type WITH my rod, your getting it all mixed around.

JMHX
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 23:00:57

At 5/27/03 04:05 PM, Jiperly wrote: o m g

i want to go over to your house and kick you in the face, repeativily, for saying something so god damned stupid.

I'm sorry, but this just made me fall over laughing. "Oh. My. God." I don't know, but I adore it.


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BullRat
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 23:49:15

At 5/26/03 10:09 PM, Dr_Arbitrary wrote: Examples "anti masturbations" are homework, or praying at church. These safe, natural highs are much better than masturbation, and if your children are taught that they don't have to masturbate to be cool they will never find the need to.

You're trying to tell me that homework is better than double-clicking my mouse?!?!?!?!?!

Illegalize Masturbation!

Jimsween
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-27 23:54:25

At 5/27/03 11:49 PM, kittie_cross wrote:
At 5/26/03 10:09 PM, Dr_Arbitrary wrote: Examples "anti masturbations" are homework, or praying at church. These safe, natural highs are much better than masturbation, and if your children are taught that they don't have to masturbate to be cool they will never find the need to.
You're trying to tell me that homework is better than double-clicking my mouse?!?!?!?!?!

Hmm, I've never heard that ufanism for masturbating before. I think I'll use that more often.

JMHX
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-28 00:01:42

That reminds me of a link...here, you'll like this, Jim.

http://satirewire.com/news/jan02/choking.shtml

I like Winston Churchill's pet name for it, "Strengthening the Empire"


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Ted-Easton
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-28 07:06:17

Jim, there's a good reason you haven't heard it before- it's a term for female masterbation.
Unless you've grown some new genitalia, the term won't work for you.

Underground-raccoon
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-28 07:10:29

My brother masterbates to a video of me and my gf kissing

Shih
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-28 08:52:26

At 5/28/03 07:10 AM, Underground_raccoon wrote: My brother masterbates to a video of me and my gf kissing

That is creepy on so many levels. Please tell me you're joking.

FUNKbrs
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-28 10:04:53

At 5/28/03 07:10 AM, Underground_raccoon wrote: My brother masterbates to a video of me and my gf kissing

here comes the horrible question:

Is he masturbating to your gf and pretending to be you, or is he masturbating to YOU and pretending to be your gf?


My band Sin City ScoundrelsOur song Vixen of Doom
HATE.
Because 2,000 years of "For God so loved the world" doesn't trump 1.2 million years of "Survival of the Fittest."

Shih
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-28 10:20:12

Either way. Does it really matter? It gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies.

House-Of-Leaves
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-29 01:17:58

Question.

If masturbation were outlawed, what about the song "I Touch Myself" by the DiVinyls? That's an awesome song to sing for karaoke. I'd miss it.

majiman1
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-29 03:07:36

At 5/27/03 03:20 PM, DarkBlueFlame wrote: I was thinking about this how can they illegalize something that you do to yourself.So in that case i guess suicide should be illegal to and after the persons dead we lock up there corpse. I mean seriously what the fuck business of yours is it what someone does in the privacy of there own home. I have an idea lets imprison all people that want to force there ideals and morals on other people.

I don't know about where you live but suicide *is* illegal here in New York, most states in fact. Most of the time the only people who get snagged by this law are the people who just wanted attention and didn't really try to kill themselves. I know it sounds stupid but hey: it's the truth! That's what the big deal was with Dr. Kevorkian in so many states, they all had anti-suicide laws and obviously murder laws but what Kevorkian was doing was just enough outside of both that he got away with it.

majiman1
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-05-29 03:18:34

At 5/26/03 10:09 PM, Dr_Arbitrary wrote: Masturbation (manual stimulation of the sex glands to cause a climax) should be illegal

...

Just say NO to masturbation

AHHHH HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!! That was funny, dude! That was *great*! I didn't stop laughing for like five mintues! That was the best thing I've ever ...

Oh wait, you were serious?

WHAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA!

Ok, but seriously now, or as serious as I can be about this: I know you're fooling to get a rise out of the forum but it looks like it worked. Yes, almost every guy on the face of the earth masturbates. Not only is it natural, it's FUN! Most people who start doing it (the very first time) don't even realize what they're doing until they reach ejaculation, and even then some people are still confused by it. It all depends on the age of sexual maturity.

I, wonderfully, and an atheist. In this I am unburdened with the idea that some old fart in a white bathrobe might smite me down for a little "me time". Let me tell you what, I love me time! I probably masturbate about four to five times a week on average. On really good days I'll smash that and just go for about three or four in a row. :-D

You want to have some fun? This works best for guy friends but women can provide some very interesting answers as well. As a close friend what their first thought was after the first time they ever masturbated. This has to be a close group mind you, and alcohol is normally the best tongue loosener! But be warned: you might not *want* to hear some of the stories...

Ok, onto the BEST statement:
I work at Dunkin Donuts.. put THAT in your coffee! *insert ensuing evil laughter*

AJ
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-06-02 16:17:35

NEVER!!!

Kenney333
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Response to Illegalize Masturbation! 2003-06-03 20:29:56

well doc i think ive found some people with an opposing thought...

http://www.jadebuddha.com/modu...s&file=article&sid=199

check it out