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Three stories that I will never forget, two of them deal with junior high and the last was during my senior trip.

During the three years of junior high, we had about 6 bomb threats, mostly in my seventh and eighth grade years. They happened so often that the superintendent called the whole junior high down to the gym for a meeting and went off about how it was childish and "yellow bellied" to use bomb threats to get out of school. At this point someone said, sort of quietly, "I'll pay someone fifty bucks to make a bomb threat tomorrow." Classic.

The bomb threats weren't that interesting, but I won't forget them. Now here is the best story and it actually made it in the yearbook. It was seventh or eighth grade, I can't really remember. It was science class and the teacher has ferns hanging on the ceiling. One day while in class we can here this dripping noise and we all thought it was the ferns. Then one of the girls goes up to the teacher and whispers something. Then the teacher says "Eddie, do you need to go to the bathroom." At this point the kid stands up and this giant puddle of piss runs from his pants and onto the floor. The kids goes to the bathroom and we all die laughing, including the teacher who then said, "I chose to teach junior high so I wouldn't have to deal with this." Best moment from junior high.

For our senior class trip we went to THE Ohio State University and took a tour of the football stadium. At one point in the tour we went into the visitors locker room to see what it is like. While we are in there this kid who is a bit lazy and fat decides to sit inside one of the lockers. Either when he went to sit down or get back up, he grabs the top of the locker and breaks the trim off the top of the locker. So now we have a big piece of metal broken off a locker at Ohio State. The tour guide didn't find out so we, luckily, didn't have to pay for anything.

Three stories that pretty much describe what my school was like (except the kid peeing his pants, that only happened once).

That was hillarious

We found a supscription for viagra on one of my teachers school computers, and this one teacher got a boner and he moved my stuff with it, it was nasty.

At 4/13/07 09:11 PM, simpsonfan1 wrote:

At 4/13/07 09:08 PM, IrishLaddie wrote: I would have gotten expelled but the kids all had switchblades in their pockets, so I was assumed to have been defending my life. I win!

you lucked out since they had pocket knifes.

Wtf, no need to state the obvious you dolt.

i had a substitute that cant control kids so we told him "were going to finish our essay" then we went to the computer lab and listened to music and played stick arena with eachother

I saw someone throw a rock at someone else and miss and smash a teachers window.
We lol'ed.

At 4/13/07 08:27 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote: My random antics that make the whole class laughing is pretty unforgettable.

yeah, that wasnt funny

One of my teachers was walking at the front of the class, just getting back her desk, when she stumbled a bit, and let out the loudest fart I have ever heard. God damn it was massive, and it stunk too.

The whole class didn't stop laughing for the rest of the day.

I masturbated once.

I was comming first in the anal road race. The kid not so far behind me started to cry. Next thing you know, his older brother had drop-kicked me in the balls.

Ahhhh, those were the days..

That time when I told a guy he forgot his herpes medicine in the middle of a crowded hall and everyone looked at him.

Well, a month ago when my English teacher had us watch "O" (a modernation of Othello) was pretty funny, she forgot to watch it first so her expression was priceless after all the "fucking fucker, why the fuck would you fuck around with her?" ect, etc...

During my sophmore year my gf's sister who was senior at the time, had her and her friends for senior prank put 3 pigs in the school. Each pig had a number 1 2 and 4. So they eventually found pigs 1 2 and 4 while we sat in the gym and for the whole day they were trying to find pig #3.

Once, A kid in my class with tourettes stormed out of the computer room screaming "FUCK! SHIT! DILDOS!"

7th grade. Good times.

At 4/13/07 08:24 PM, T-N-T wrote: Alot of strange things happen in our schools, fighting, teachers who are stupid, and hell, getting them mad. But there is always moments when we can't just forget about.

I have two moments. One was when this kid tripped in the cafeteria and dumped his frech fries on my head. I ate some of them. Lucky me.

The second was when this kid was P.O.ed at his teacher and threw a desk at him. No, seriously. He got suspended for two weeks.

At 4/13/07 10:36 PM, Rebbay wrote: All this lack of grammar is making me sick. Literally. But anyway...

It was my first year at school. I had to go. Bad. So I told the teacher. The bitch said no. So there I was, in my sit, itching to pee, when oh! I wet myself. Now, the kids were really loud, screaming stuff to the kid on the other table, and I calmly try and tell the teacher.

Me: Uh... Miss?
Her: Yes? What is it?
Me: I think.. Umm.. I did...
Her: WHAT?
Me: *now a little louder* I think I had an accident...
Her: SPEAK UP GIRL!
Me: *screaming at the top of my voice* I PISSED MY PANTS!!!

The whole class stopped and looked at me. I ended up having to go to the reception and call my mum. Hehe..

That is pretty funny but will never beat The Lunch from Hell.

School serving Fried Chicken The meat was not how should I say tat fresh. about 50 minutes after lunch I am running laps in Gym and then it hits me. I just run up to the Gym Teacher and say "Coach I got to get to a bathroom, because Mt Spew is about to loose its lunch." He then tells me to hurry up and get to the bathroom. So I am running like hell, the principle stops me for running and right when I try to tell him why I am running. UP CHUCK! right onto his shoes.
My Mom gets called I get to go home for the rest of the day and the school served pizza for 3 weeks after that because of contaminated food.

At 4/13/07 08:30 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote:

At 4/13/07 08:28 PM, Dash-02 wrote:

At 4/13/07 08:27 PM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote:

Friend 1 - She reads... FOR LEISURE!!

I also read a lot in weekends

I like reading stuff as well.. mostly guitar mags, some bloody history, horror/fantasy/comedies.. but alas, I do not have these books.

also the BBS

When I was in 7th grade this one fat girl fell in a toilet and got stuck. She was sitting there for about half an hour until a teacher helped her get out.

Whoow...theres a bunch. I'll name some off the top of my head.

1: My 8th grade pidgeon-toed / cross-eyed teacher tripped over the overhead projector cord.
(I felt bad, but it was funny.)

2) I cried in 5th grade. (still haunts me)

3: I punched a mexican kid in the head a few times because he slapped me (gym in 7th grade.)

4: Me and my friends had a farting contest in gym in the 6th grade, and I shit my pants. (only my close friends know about it. And...now NG)

5: Pranks in the lunchroom this year and last year. (includes bursting bags of milk, making bloody tampons with ketchup, plain fucking with people, etc.

6: My friend carl got jumped by 8th graders when he was in 7th. (big bloody mess)

7: When I put pizza in my friend larry's binder and he found out 4 days later. (beginning of this year)

8: I slid into the SAP room on my stomach and got my friend David another day of SAP and he was pissed. (this year)

9: The school security guard got busted for molesting a middle schooler. (7th grade)

All I can think of right now. I know there's alot more.

Some of you people have had some fucked up childhoods.

1111th post. Off to the wi/ht lul

At 4/15/07 06:23 PM, CheezNapkin wrote: Once, A kid in my class with tourettes stormed out of the computer room screaming "FUCK! SHIT! DILDOS!"

7th grade. Good times.

Thats goddamn hilarious.

I wish I was there.

Once in the lunchroom, I was ranting about lazy mexican illegals. I then yelled that "all the janitors in our school are mexicans," when one of the janitors came up to me and asked if I had a problem with mexicans (being hispanic herself). Well of course this lady was at least 300 lbs, so I quickly said no. She continued on in response to my rant saying that many of the janitors were Puerto Rican, and that she only had this job because she needed one for the time being. She waddled away, and I thought to myself, "Christ, I have to hate them too?

At 4/13/07 11:39 PM, RCrap wrote: Once during a stupid douche pep rally, while everyone was cheering and stuff for some gay thing going on. I went in the middle of the gym and pooped on the floor. lmao

I got in trouble

AHAHA!! You are a fucking GOD!

I am not worthy!

Shit man...I would of payed to see that.

ISS for flipping desks before class.

lol, on thursday, i threw a tennis ball at my friend in math class, and the teacher looked at me and i said it came in from outside. So he OPENED the window, looked out side, then ran downstairs to catch the "fugative" loLOLOLOLOL!!
We were all laffing, what a dumbass teacher.

At 4/14/07 12:35 AM, Spikrodd wrote: okay, i got a bit...
. my dad died in december and i just now started feeling the pain of it all. im now on 6 medications for seperate diagnosises.

owch man, thats not funny, i feel sorry for u man.

In 8th grade the teacher went out to get more chalk for the board and a kid took a diarrhea dumb on her desk. The shit liquid ran down the desk and soaked all the papers. When she came back she didn't realize he shit on the desk until she actually sat down for 20 seconds and then got up screaming. The kid got expelled but fuck was it funny!

The funniest school moment that ever happened to me was on the bus ride home in year 7. These kids in the back of the bus were tearing up a school science book page by page and crumpling up every sheet of paper into one huge paper ball. The bus driver, unaware of what was happening, got stuck in traffic and there were numerous cars to the left and right of us. The kids with the HUGE paper ball (bigger than four basketballs) opened the window and tried throwing it out onto one of the cars, but it wouldn't fit, so they opened the emergency exit door and threw it out onto the windshield of a woman's car. The bus driver kicked those morons off the bus and the woman's expression was just priceless.

college kids from across the street stick fireworks into the fence and start firing them off

I have posted one of these next three stories here, but I haven't told all three, so lets put them all together now!
Now there was a student in my grade, named Dana Goyette, who was an infamous student at the high school, for he had both Aspergers and a physical disability, which made him seem really, really out there. Now, considering I also have Aspergers, I understood to a point, but that point always reached a quick ending, for he was really annoying, and an infamous computer user who pissed a lot of other people off, for he always wanted to make himself seem like a know-it-all. This led to a lot of people making fun of him, and a lot of students suspended for doing so. Now, with people knowing this, people instead began to get Dana to make a fool of himself without being able to be blamed for the humour made from him.

With all this now out of the way, there was two stories involving me and him that really burned into my mind: The first one occurred in the last week of school in freshman year of high school. I had to go to my PE teacher for a slip to not come in on the last day of class, for I had to go to a doctor in San Francisco (she was a total bitch, but that is not important here). My teacher, who was a "I am going to be honest, so you better be ready when I tell you what you need to know" kind of person, had to speak with some students about to final after class. I was last in line, with Dana being the person ahead of me. After a few minutes, Dana, the teacher and I were in the room alone, with the time being 3:10, or when school went out. Dana began to tear up, and asked the teacher (named Mr. Deeds, though this happened before the Adam Sandler movie came out) why no one seemed to like him. Deeds calmy responded: "Because your as annoying as hell; if you were just a lot quiter in class, and instead tried to become part of the group instead of an individual, you would blend in; instead, you talk random crap all the time in the middle of class, and you get noticed as some sort of weirdo instead of being part of everyone else; if you want to be called normal, you have to act normal". Dana began to cry like a baby, and went out of the room crying really, really loud. Deeds looked at me and said "Damn, that kid annoys the hell out of me!", which I immediately agreed.

It also be noted that I was in the locker room when this happened, and I overheard everything.

Story two: It was the eighth grade, my final year at middle school; I was in a metal class working on the 3rd of 4 required projects in the class. As I was bending metal outside, Dana came running out of class crying very, very loudly. I asked him "Hey Dana, what happened?" He looked at me and said: "I GOT A BAD GRADE ON MY PROJECT!!!!" and continued to cry. I immediately thought "Damn, that sucks, that isn't good" in my head, so I asked: "What did you get". Dana, still crying, looked at me and shouted............"I GOT A B-PLUS! WAHHHH.....". Thats right, he was crying because he got a B-Plus on a project, when he felt he deserved an A. Seriously, a B-Plus for a project being that critical? I know he was getting an A before that, so its not like he needed it to pass the class. I looked away, and quietly shook me head thinking "Goddamn, he needs to not live and die on his grades"

Now story three, which is the one I already posted on the BBS, albeit back in November: there was a friend of mine and some other guy who were talking in the locker room about penis size, because me friend often said his penis was big (I bet he was lying, but that's a different topic) So they asked Dana how big his penis was, and it happened to get really quiet right after he asked it. Dana's response is burned into my mind even more so then any other moment of my life: "Oh, two inches". Now people started to laugh loudly, but he then said something that made everyone in the locker room laughing into tears: "NO, NO! TWO INCHES HARD! TWO INCHES HARD!" He obviously meant two inches soft, but man, everyone in that locker room wouldn't stop laughing. Dana was only 14 or 15 when this happened, so it's not like some 25 year old said this, but it still cause a near-riot from the laughing at the guy.

Now, do really give you a look into who he is, here is a YTMND made about Dana that I just found, using an actual photo of Dana, and things he says on a regular basis, so watch out, for this is NSFW due to the title and the ability to annoy you to death...........