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At 4/11/07 04:09 PM, The-Darkphoenix wrote: As well as all your chapters, it's a good piece of work. How much more do you plan on writing?
Lets say it shall never end.
Oh, btw: here's part 13 for those who like my story and RESPECT it.
Chapter 13 : Disturbing Discovery
"Howcome you knew all that, Daisy? And you don't seem pretty terrified of this place either, not to mention that we haven't been here before... or am i wrong?" I asked her "No, your not wrong! I haven't been here before, and neither have you. Howcome you act this way now, man?" "I don't know... It almost seems like you had a... well, how should i say it... behavioural metamorphose!" "Err... what?" "Christ... never mind ok? Let's just find a way to get out of this place". I walk over to the large grey door. The surroundings of it seem to be covered with fertile plants. I push in the button but it seems to be stuck a little. *rustle* "Erm... what was that?" I wondered "What was what? I didn't hear anything..." yeah right... "Comon, help me... push!" I said. The veigns in my head started increasing in size because the button that i tried hard to push seemed to be rusted tightly on the wall it was stuck onto (even though it was a rock). *rustle... crackle!* "Hey, what was that?! This time i'm sure that i heard something!" I look behind Daisy and see that there are small rocks tumbling down to the floor from the pillar behind her.
I look up the pillar but the higher my sight goes, the more my eyes get blinded by some shiny light. I hold my hand above my eyes, while strongly pushing and leaning with my whole body thrusting on my other arm on the large marble button. "What is it?" Asks Daisy. "I... can't see it... really..." But when i lean on the button with my back, putting my other hand in front of my face, and looking between my fingers... I see the shadow if a creature! "Oh, no! Don't let it be that werewolf again!" I think a bit too loud. "What?!" Replies Daisy. "Don't worry" I say. I look back at the top of the pillar but the creature is gone! Suddenly, an odd smell appears. I look instantly to Daisy (since she's the only other person in the room, and i know that i don't smell... I just know it!) "D...Daisy! Right behind you! Look out!" She turns around swiftly and stares directly in the face of the creature, It's approximately '1.5 humans big' It looks remarcably much like a 'Minotaur' from the greek legends. It has some legendairy fur, legendairy armour and clothings, and... phew! A legendairy stench! It took merely an eyewink for you to be missing the large but amazingly swift creature to pull a large steel-forged double-bit axe from behind his back, and holds it right above his head, looking with a mean, though challanging look right into Daisy's eyes.
'It's time for action!' I think. Daisy seems to terrified to move. shaking on her legs, with her handpalm in front of her face, covering her lips. Her eyes being likely the most terrified little eyeballs i've ever seen, they give me a glimp of a thought: 'Move! Now!'. I rapidly take a sprint, with an adrenaline boost raising my the speed of wich my legs are capable of for taking me somewhere... But i'm too late! - The creature growls loudly and swings his large axe down into Daisy's direction. Because of a quick reflex, i run towards the creature to jump in front of her so that the axe would hit me, in case of Daisy. But by the time i was about to take the jump that would kill me, i can already turn my head to see that the axe had cut the bodily flesh of poor Daisy in two pieces. As rude as my circulating mind goes, it asks itself why there is no blood coming out of Daisy's stunned, dead body; however it's still standing! I look at Daisy's terrifyingly standing body, with the tears getting in my eyes. "Oh i cannot believe it!... Daisy! My only love!" I whisper in a whining way. "Hahahah... it seems that my task is completed." The huge half-bull half-human monster pulls it's axe out of Daisy's body and puts it back on his back, after wich it jumps away. Back, on it's pillar.
Awesome! do more!
"I think it passing odd that I am loved by one for a kindness I never did, and reviled by so many for my finest act." ~ Jaime Lannister
cool man, good story :)
and can i be on it meaby :P you can use eny of my nicks : nightrunner, edison, or nerin clewerbow
and its a great story
This is a great story and is long. Must have taken you a long time to make. Good job :)
Thanx for all the positive replies guys! <3
I know you have been waiting for chapter 14 long, my fellow NG'ers, but due to unfortunate happenings, i have been absent for a while.
However, here i am back! With the newly written and completely unexpected situations-containing chapter 14! Have fun people.
Also, please comment either on this thread, or my usar paig, Both is not nessecairy but highly recommended of course :D .
Chapter 14 - Inhumane Continuety
It's amazing that through the transparant pearly tears in my eyes wich i look through with strenght, as they slightly pinch the muscles in my eyes to blink every bit of the time; i can't see daisy's body moving at all. I think by now she should have fallen down on the ground, but surprisingly she is still standing there... Not moving the least. Thought waves about windstrenght and gravitational properties flash swiftly before my eyes... Until courage takes over the actions that i control, and take a first step up to Daisy. Her body took a slight, but noticable twinch... I shuffle closer up to her as quietly as i can, keeping the ideas of unproven theories, the barely moving body of Daisy, and the fact that i could get jumped in the neck by a fierce creature that appears to be some kind of a "Minotaur" fight in my head for a priority place. But the idea that i simply shouldn't be caring takes over a big part of my attention as i lay me right hand on the shoulder of my dear beloveth. I could merely take a short look in the terrified glimp of her eyes when i see that the flesh of her body starts to shake in instability and collapses...
For a second there i thought her bones would be broken, but as she was cut in half and still standing up surprisingly long after such a fierce, instantly killing attack that must have delivered unbearable pain and suffering in agony for as long as it lasted to poor fragile Daisy, she would have to have fallen on the ground in 2 pieces by now but she didn't. The instable patches of skin on her body severed themselves nearly instantly into tiny pieces of... sand?! It's undescribable how she sacked down on the ground and turned in a dusty pile of sand with a pair of jeans and a sweater and bra on top of it, as if it was one big human formed "sand creature" in the form of Daisy that was wearing the clothes... But wait... The button on her side of the wall that she was pushing is completely pressed in! How did she pull that off? I didn't even notice it. I couldn't handle it anymore, it was almost too much for me to bare... But i stood up, took it like a man, wiped off my tears and thrusted my elbow head on to the button on my side. It felt like a small crack inside my arm... Or was that the stone button getting pushed in finally? I don't know, but i don't think i should really care since the door was crackling.
I senced a glare from above me, i could feel that the "Minotaur" was watching me. So i hasted to turn my head, preparing my muscles and my entire body for what would ly ahead; through the door. As i turned my body, attempting to step onward, nearly throwing my attention away from the giant hideous creature, to the plot before me. It took the full turn of my head to notice the light overwhelming me, my sight being crowded... my once "eagle eyed vision" was harshly decreased... 300 feet, 200, 100, 50, 25, 10, 5, 2, 1, ... It almost felt like i was blinded permanently... A weird feeling in my leg made me shiver and shake all over. ... "You senile old fool! Why didn't you let me..." "Ahh, he was stronger then we thought..." "Weakling, we'll just have to use so..." sounds... fading again... Aaargh! The light! Voices in my head!... The... The LIGHT! It's a mere muscle stretch-taking for me to open my eyes, as i appear in the same room, the same bed, next to the same tiny salon table, with the same psp on it, the same house... I look out the window, everything is exactly what it was like... I hate continuety!... This experience made me yell inside of myself, this will never cure itself... but will it ever end?
Alright, i suppose you all deserved this.
Chapter 15 - A dream in doubt
It took merely a few seconds before i started hearing a pair of shoes shuffling over the floor quietly, so i run towards the brown oak closet that's right next to the door and step right next to it. The large doors open and Jenna comes out (Jihad's mother) She looks around her to see where i am because i'm not in the bed where i used to be. With her arm half raised, a silver plateau in it with a bowl of hot noodles or soup... I move my eyes around violently, looking for something i can defend myself with, keeping in mind the doubt wether i should even use it because... This is just an innocent woman! Still kind of a bit strange though... As soon as my right hand gets in touch with something, it makes a fist nearly automatically. It's an umbrella... Oh, great! Well at least it has a sharp point, and could give a minor hit because the middle bar is made out of iron. I dare to take a step, a drop of sweat crawling and slipping down from my forehead, up to my right cheak tickles my sences. My eye twinches... The little drop of sweat falls down and eventually hits the ground. My roll up; directly towards Jenna's face as she turns around swiftly. I'm kind of startled as the sharp look on her eyes nearly nails me into the ground, making my eyes almost tear.
I grab all the bits of courage that i have inside me to murder an innocent woman, i make my fist push harder and veins start to become visible on my hand as i throw the umbrella in the direction of Jenna's face. Unexpectedly the umbrella "changes course" and hits the bowl of soup, spiking it on the side and pushing it forward as it would nail itself on the wall on the other side of the room... shattering it to sharp pieces. "Look out! You almost hit me with that thing! Are you crazy or..." "..." i couldn't bring up any word on my lips and my face is starting to get a little red for what i have done. "Oh, i'm sorry" She sais. "You must still be upset! Well why don't you lay back on the bed and i will give you your medcine." she impies. " But... i don't need a -" "Tut tut tut! You will drink your medicine, it's good for you!" She pushes me down on the bed violently and i barely have the time to pull the cover over me as she aready puts the bowl onto my lips. The steaming hot, thick, green and slimey liquid off wich i've never know it ever even existed, nearly burns my uvula as it slides down my throat. Jenna's hands hold the bowl and my head forcefully tight... "Had..." "Ha..." - "Had a bad dream there did ya?" AAH! I raised up in the bed, leaning on my elbows. That was... Jihad's voice. It's night, and a pretty dark one too. The curtains of the large window are waving as if it was open, but it isn't.
There, another odd thing. "I'll take care of it!" i think, but a bit too loud. I put my hands on the side of the bed and get up. I jump and throw a quick look over my body. "What's happening to me?... What is this place?" I step towards the window to pull the curtains over eachother so they don't catch much "wind" anymore. As i layed my right hand on the left curtain to pull it over, lightning struck in the garden. Footsteps again!... I quickly released the curtain and as what could be concidered as being a spasm, i quickly ran and crawled under the bed, in the fear that whoever was approaching couldn't find me. The door opened slowly, the creeping sound of the door's articulations hunted fear under my skin. I heard a female sounding voice... "Where are you?... There's no point in hiding!" Thunder was crackling and crawling down the sky; probebly to tear another tree or house apart. "SHOW YOURSELF!" yelled the voice. The dull waves of her voice frightened me as the thunder struck loudly on the roof, or so it seemed. "COME TO ME!!" This was certainly not a friendly woman. ...The sharply pointed umbrella! It was right next to me. I grabbed it, for i didn't realise that part of it came out from under the bed. "A- HA!" She screeched. That last bit kind of hurt my ears though, so i pulled my body back a bit. Opening my eyes after being alarmed by the screeching sound of her voice made me see a sharp knife stabbing through the bed! My eyes opened immediately, it felt like it was even an inch! But my shoulders were really shivering in fear when i noticed just those few hairs of mine, tumbling from my head down on the floor.
Dude, you're a fucking dirtbag, you cheated on your girl.
I hope you die. Oh wait, you already did.
At 8/23/07 05:23 PM, Erikio wrote: Dude, you're a fucking dirtbag, you cheated on your girl.
Dude, you fucking fruitcake!
This story is made up! Complete and total fiction! Nothing in this is real?
FFS where have you been?!
Post normally or GTFO.