should i confront him?

[JeremysFilms]

My friend's grandfather has just died; my parents told me this because they are in communication with his parents. When it was brought to my attention, I quickly replied that I wouldn't bring it up to him. To my surprise, my mother exclaimed that I must. I was confused at this and requested clarification. She attempted to explain that saying something like "I'm sorry your grandfather passed away" is the right thing to do. I replied that I felt this was wrong because it would 1) remind him further of what happened, 2) possibly make him more sad, 3) possibly make him feel upset that everyone's finding out, etc.

She gave the phone to my father and he tried to explain the same thing and added that it is etiquette.

I told them that I would ask others what they feel because I don't agree that it's the right thing to do, I think it depends on the person and the situation. Also, he's my friend, I know him better than they do.

What do you think? Is it the right thing to do, wrong thing to do, or something else?

[Cory-UVP]

I just went through the hard death of my girlfriends father. He died right in front of her last month of a heart attack. He was a great man, And it was very hard (and still is) for her to go through. If it's anything for your friend like it's been for my girlfriend, then maybe they need someone to break down too, and talk too. Depending on what type of person they are.

[Cema]

No. If you're first, he will hate you the most. Just let it be, it's a hard thing to go through, and even harder to go through rumors about it.

[Sentio]

My grandfather passed away last week, and if someone were to come to me about it I don't think I would mind. If it is something he doesn't want to talk about then he will quickly change the subject, but you might find that he wants to talk for a while, and reminisce about his memories etc. Talking about things is one of the best ways to get over them.

Of course it depends on the person, and as you say you know him better than any of us do. Just do what you feel is right.

[gotix]

so it's a good idea to post this on the internet? right.

[Gunthiaire]

Hard to say, considering i'm not you in the situation.
I would tell my friend that his grandfather died, and tell him i'm sorry for his loss.

[Cosmonautical]

It could give him someone to talk to about it if he doesn't want to talk to his family for some reason.

I'd say it, or ask how he's coping.

[sharpe1]

At 2/13/07 03:43 PM, gotix wrote: so it's a good idea to post this on the internet? right.

Its not like hes giving names.

Man just give the guy some space unless he comes to you in that case talk with him, but just kinda leave it be.

[AlphaCentauri]

Just say it the next time you see him, I wouldn't go out of my way to call him. Just if you see him sometime just be like:

"Hey, sorry about what happened" But don't do it to late or he might have forgotten about it and you bring it back up.

I would just do it as soon a possible, but as casually as possible.

[0peth]

Am I missing the reason why his own parents can't tell him?

[JeremysFilms]

At 2/13/07 03:58 PM, 0peth wrote: Am I missing the reason why his own parents can't tell him?

He knows obviously, but my parents want me to be like "I heard your grandpa died I'm so sorry..."

[DustinTheWind]

Just tell him that you heard about it and tell him you're sorry it happened.