A Story

[MajinntheBlack]

The following is a true story.....ok a bit over exagerrated, actually REALY exagerrated story of me:
Dark biography: story of Majinn the Black (tell me if u like tha title or not) (and no this doesnt have anything 2 do w/ DBZ DB or DB that other seiries were Goku turns back into kid and travles across the universe)
*Ahem*, Hello readers, i will now tellu the story of the big, half-dragon black worlock named Majinn the Black, lets begin shall we?

Majinn the Black wasn't always a half-dragon with unlimited destructive powers, in fact he was once a human like you and me. (yea BIG suprise there eh?). he was once a boy neering his teens who's alias was Scimitar mainly because they were his favorite swords.
Note: this is the intro, the next part will be posted when i feel like it.

well, it al began during the summer of 2006 when our hero was training with his plastic swords. He was rather giddy (happy) at the fact he'd finally beaten The Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask. Then all of a sudden a big scroll popped out of the ground, He then said "What the heck is that?" then a gopher popped out of the ground and said "Well don't ask me, i cant even understand what the darn thing says, my orders were just to bring this and a Black Dragon scale here". Majinn then said "wait a second, did u just..talk? and what do you mean dragon scale?" "yes i did, and by dragon scale i mean this." the gopher replied as he lifted a scale about the size of crocodile tooth out of the hole. "well i have to go, oh and you owe me 10 pence wich is 25 cents in this country" luckaly Majinn had a single quarter in his poket and handed it to the gopher. Afterwards the gopher disappeard into the hole and was gone.

Thats all for the intro. so, what do you think so far?

[Drift-And-Die]

wtf

[TurtleJuice]

That story doesn't have a set plot line does it? Because its random , but not in a funny way

[MajinntheBlack]

exuse me if i try to imagin somthing in my mind, type it out and it dosnt turn out to be thet good, i did only start being a memberon newgrounds last year you know.

[Shuko]

At 2/13/07 01:54 PM, MajinntheBlack wrote: exuse me if i try to imagin somthing in my mind, type it out and it dosnt turn out to be thet good, i did only start being a memberon newgrounds last year you know.

Since when do you have to be a member for a long time to write an understandable, cohesive story? :( Here's a tip. Type out your stories in Word or something first, proofread them, and then put them on the BBS. Don't just come up with it on the fly in the message box and post them without any editing. That's just BEGGING to be torn to pieces.

[Fim]

dude, that's fucking bollocks.

no offence

[MajinntheBlack]

whtvr u say mac
but im just sayin im only 12 and im not good in english class
heck there are alota people in my class thatve made good books take my friendrome for exaple, hes starting on his 3rd book and the last 2 were hits umong the students, im just not that good.

[Demean]

At 2/13/07 02:03 PM, MajinntheBlack wrote: but im just sayin im only 12 and im not good in english class

Minimum age is 13, bub.

UR OUTA HERR!

[Puzzled]

At 2/13/07 02:16 PM, Demean wrote:

At 2/13/07 02:03 PM, MajinntheBlack wrote: but im just sayin im only 12 and im not good in english class

Minimum age is 13, bub.

UR OUTA HERR!

OH MY GOD!

SOMEONE CALL THE MODERATORS!!!!!!!!

[RadioactiveJack]

At 2/13/07 02:03 PM, MajinntheBlack wrote:

but im just sayin im only 12

Big Mistake.

[Tri-Nitro-Toluene]

At 2/13/07 01:47 PM, MajinntheBlack wrote: Thats all for the intro. so, what do you think so far?

It sucks.

Your narrative voice is clumsy and immature, your starting sentence is juvenile and uninteresting, you give almost no information at all as to the setting which is bloody important for a fantasy novel.

Sorry to be harsh, but the best way to improve is to hear the truth.

Start writing easy stuff first, writing stuff with dragons in it and making it original and interesting is hard. Write stuff set in reality first, then branch out. It really is the best approach to take.

Also:

Plan stuff out before you write. It really does help if you know where a story is going before you write it.

[Scarab]

At 2/13/07 01:57 PM, Shuko wrote: Type out your stories in Word or something first, proofread them, and then put them on the BBS.

Yeah, I only write my non-serious stories straight off. I don't post them on the BBS, but you get the idea.

[Antarct]

Yes, it was quite horrible. Mostly cause you spelling is really bad.

[MajinntheBlack]

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See? living proof that im bad at english!