A History Lesson

[Jonas]

A history lesson

In the beginning there was Tom, and his evil brother Wade.

Wade spoke, "Thouest needs to get off thine ass, and make a coolest as all hell web page".

The Tom knowing this already, as The Tom knows all spake, and said "shut up, I shall get around to it"

And so he did.

On the first day of Newgrounds, Tom said, "Let there be fun."

So fun became part of NG, and fun was enjoyed by all.

After fun, Tom created the Portal.

The portal contained all of the fun.

Soon the portal was filled with fun, but then came "B", and the portal had faced a new problem.

Philosophy.

How were the members to deal with this new emotion, thought?

They searched high and low for a place to voice their feelings, and The Tom spoke, "Emailest me."

And they did.

Soon The Tom's inbox was full, and he spoke, "Stopest emailing me."

They did, and a dark shadow formed over Newgrounds.

But in the depths of the shadow lurked a light. That light was the BBS.

The BBS was able to handle emotion, and debates raged for days as to who was responsible.

The Tom spoke, "It was a group effort".

The users posted to their heart's content, and were happy.

Then came Spam.

No one knew where spam came from, some say it was a n00b who hit the wrong keys, other's say it's a meat biproduct. All that is known is that spam was bad.

So The Tom spoke, and said "Let there be Mods."

And so there was, and the Mods were good.

Gone were the countless Tricky, and PBJ topics, and also the pr0n topics which riddled the land.

The only spam that remained were posts which had and will exist before and after the mods.

You will find these topics, known as "SPAM!" or a variety from time to time, but the mods sit and wait, and The Tom watches his creation, and wonders how it will evolve...

[biteme2514]

That's great stuff. Keep writing stuff like that and soon you'll have your own cult of devoted Newgrounds fans. Convince them that if they believe in you, then there will be a place in the Portal for their souls for all eternity. Unless of course, their server crashes horribly and all data is lost... But what are the chances of that happening?

[TheShrike]

lol great stuff

[AngryArab]

good shit dude, atleast we know.

[HeinousDude]

Nicely done, man.

[Mr-Chuckles]

At 4/23/03 07:03 PM, el_foka wrote: No one knew where spam came from, some say it was a n00b who hit the wrong keys, other's say it's a meat biproduct. All that is known is that spam was bad.

Ha funny.............good story overall. You forgot the part where Wade said, "Let thy be banned," and they were.

It's cool how you took the creation story from the bible and made it NG related.

[Jonas]

At 4/23/03 07:29 PM, HeinousDude wrote: Nicely done, man.

Yeah, yeah, back to the robot fights.

[FUNKbrs]

What about the part where after the mods came, a third of the posters fell, and became the PC Crew? Losing thier joy of flash, only to spend eternity locked in debate with the spammers of idiocy and redundancy, which not even the mods could defeat. And lo, a prophecy came, that the PC crew would have redemption. And she shall be called "Freakapotimus" the interpretation being "pot smoking freaky chick". And by her hand shall longwinded spammers fall, and by her foot shall a promised land come. And by her hand she led them, to the promised land only the PC crew may enter..... And it was called SNOOBLE

[Jonas]

Whoa there Funk, I'm waiting for the PC to bloom, so I can write about the dredges of it's heyday.

[skaggs]

hmmmmmmm...

[panik]

Its just so beautiful. Don't forget how the Political Crew numerous in number slayed the wicked and the n00b's, to claim their right to the promised land...the Politics BBS.

[Tristran]

Wow. There should be an NG bible, and we would worship the ALMIGHTY PORTAL!!!!! *heavenly choir*

[Ted-Easton]

Shockingly beautiful.
Literature material.
You should really write a bible for NG that can be quoted from for generations.
PC commendation.

[shazzam]

lols, that was very good. What next event will take part in history??

[TheShrike]

Make it good enough, and who knows, it may get int NG lit...

[Tristran]

"THE EXODUS OF THE CLOCKS!!"

[Hallowed-Sin]

That was pretty damn cool. Right up there with that freaky ass cheese bible thing a friend had me read.

[FUNKbrs]

At 4/23/03 07:49 PM, el_foka wrote: Whoa there Funk, I'm waiting for the PC to bloom, so I can write about the dredges of it's heyday.

Forsooth moses, prophecy always cometh before its interpretation is completed. Yea, no man knows when it cometh, save Freakapotimus, and her prophet Ted_Easton. All praise be unto THE CREATOR, and unto THE PORTAL.

[Bomb-Clock]

hahaha lolz0rs

[DaFreak]

Not bad, not bad.

[Dagodevas]

At 4/23/03 07:03 PM, el_foka wrote:

Can you say "The NG Book of Genesis"?

[Tacitacial]

Aahhhhh! At last! A holy text for the new religion! At last I can truly believe in newgrounds. *kneels before screen*
May The Tom bless us all.

[Jonas]

Some of you may be wondering where I'm going with this, well I'm working on a movie script, then my attention goes back to this, my baby.

[j3nnica]

thank you for that wonderful lesson

[Jonas]

At 6/2/03 03:29 PM, el_foka wrote: Some of you may be wondering where I'm going with this, well I'm working on a movie script, then my attention goes back to this, my baby.

As was promised, I am done with the movie script, so I now am doing the robot fight, and this, and calling people. Whee.