Why Most Electronica Sucks.

[SolusLunes]

Solus is PISSED.

Really. Allow me to list the reasons why.

1. Bass.
I am SICK AND TIRED of the classic, overused bassline of "buzz bass, kick, hat, buzz bass, kick, hat, rinse, repeat, FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING SONG." That's Electronica's missionary position. Try some musical Kama Sutra.

Change it. DO SOMETHING NEW. BASS IS NOT A SECONDARY CONCERN FOR YOUR SONG.
PAY MORE ATTENTION TO IT. BE BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE FUCKING TALENTLESS PRICKS.

They say caps are the internet equivalent of yelling. That's exactly what I want to convey.

2. Fading.
Seriously. You go to all this trouble of mixing a kickass melody with THAT DAMN OVERUSED BASS to get a great effect, and then you GO AND FUCKING RUIN IT BY NOT FUCKING TRYING. The beginning and end of songs are the hardest part to make, and most times, the best part. STOP TRYING TO GET OUT OF MAKING THEM, AND FUCKING TAKE THE TIME, MAKE THE EFFORT, AND DON'T SAY YOUR SONG'S DONE UNTIL IT HAS BOTH A BEGINNING AND A FUCKING ENDING. (Unless it's a mixtape, where the songs fade into each other. Then it's TOLERABLE.)

Stop trying to cheat, put in the DAMN EFFORT.

3. Repetition.
Okay. You have faded in the melody and the DAMN OVERUSED BASS to the middle of the song, and you're only thirty seconds in. You could say "Hey, I'm gonna run this melody through till I FUCKING FADE IT OUT IN THE END, maybe change the key a few times, make NO DAMN CHANGES TO THE CORE MELODY TO CHANGE THINGS UP, maybe drop in a few breakdowns (will address later in the post) and bam, I have three minutes of what all sorts of SYCOPHANTIC FUCKS will call awesome. Then I fade it out.

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR MELODY. The reason it's called a melody is because it's NOT CALLED A FUCKING CHORUS. Sure, you need a chorus. BUT THERE SHOULD BE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO.

4. Meaningless lyrics.
If your lyrics don't mean anything (now, before you pounce on me, I'm not saying that it should have a deeper meaning. I'm saying that through the whole song, there should be MORE THAN TEN DIFFERENT FUCKING WORDS UTTERED if you're going to have lyrics at all.) then don't have them. Simple as that. If you're using them like that, you're using a musical crutch, and I swear TO GOD I will kick it out from under you while you're on the FUCKING STAIRS.

DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LYRICS. USE NO CRUTCHES. ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES.

5. Breakdowns, dropping all the instruments in a song out and then re-building up, etc.
Like the "buzz, kick, hat" pattern, a FUCKING AWESOME IDEA. So fucking awesome, IT FUCKING SUCKED. Because people latched on, and therefore, we have THE ENTIRE MUSIC COMMUNITY'S COLLECTIVE DICK trying to get in this one asshole. Granted, it's probably wider than the Goatse guy's ass now, but THERE ARE LIMITS BEFORE THE WHOLE FUCKING THING SPLITS IN TWO AND WE'RE ALL FUCKED.

FIND ANOTHER FUCKING AWESOME THING TO DO WITH YOUR SONGS. SERIOUSLY. It can't be THAT FUCKING HARD. A little creativity has never killed anyone.

6. Panning, Filtering, all sorts of FX.
Oh, great, ANOTHER FUCKING SONG that will AURALLY RAPE ME through panning sprees. When a song fades in, for the most part, it will also pan in. STOP THAT. EVERYONE IS DOING IT. And maybe, while it fades in, panning from left to right, you'll toss in a few crap ass automated filters that will RELENTLESSLY ASSFUCK YOUR MELODY THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH THE BREAKDOWNS AND TO THE FINAL FADEOUT. Sure, it's a fucking awesome idea. Sounds more awesome, lots less effort. Panning and Filtering are the same kind of special that rides the short bus.

7. Random Sounds.
One word: Why? Most songs tend to have none (which is nice, but it could be a nice addition, placed well) or so fucking many, it sounds like you TOOK A GIANT LIQUID SHIT ON YOUR MOTHERBOARD then recorded it and said "Durr... hay, I maek muzzik!" I'm fucking looking at you, Glitch. Go fuck yourself, learn how to make music, instead of being PRETENTIOUS FUCKS that stick their noses up in the air and say "You simply do not understand how this is music."

I once shat explosively into a toilet, and I swear to God, it sounded like I was making glitchcore music.

8. Titles (The Cock-Sucking Left Testicle Hasn't Dropped Yet Mix)
Titles. Something that can make or break your song. A lot of them are weird titles that don't mean anything. To be honest, that's perfectly fine. Unless your songs have lyrics, you're normally hard-pressed for a title and you'll write what the song makes you think of. That's not the problem here. The problem is the bit that comes after the title, you know, the PRETENTIOUS (Hey, this is some kind of mix that I decided to make up a name for that'll be never used again! Maybe I'll have some kind of TRENDY FUCKING MISSPELLING like XTREME or even worse, SUPER MEGA HAPPY DREAM MIX.)

It doesn't mean ANYTHING, get over yourself, TWAT.

9. DJ Worship.
Did they make the song? Did they spend the hours painfully fading in and out the same melody, filtered, panned and mastered with the lay-over of explosive shit sounds, pretentiously titled and with some random guy speaking in some drug-induced trance?

NO.

SO FUCK THEM. GIVE CREDIT WHERE IT IS DUE- THE ARTIST, NOT THEM.

10. Artists that decide to call themselves "DJ whatever."
See 9.
Do you want to be thought of as one of those FUCKING MOOCHING TWATS?
End of argument.

11. Bass (Not to be confused with 1. Bass. This is the kind that can kill small children at a range of 300 meters.)
If your song makes people's eardrums EXPLODE, then it is not pleasureable (unless you're some DUMBASS MASOCHISTIC TWIT, in which case, I shall not mourn your death, nor shall Darwin.) And at least, if you're going to do that, MASTER IT WELL.

I have heard TOO MANY SONGS that have the bass so badly mastered, it sounds like a CHEAP HONDA CIVIC WITH STOCK SPEAKERS ROLLING DOWN THE STREET BLASTING ITS BASS. All you hear is the rattling of plastic.

THAT'S BAD.

ALL IT TAKES IS SOME SIMPLE COMPRESSOR WORK, PEOPLE!

12. Drumloops.
Drums. Great stuff. So many things you can do with them.

SO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU USE THE SAME SAMPLED DRUMLOOPS OVER AND OVER AGAIN!?!?

You're wasting all you can do with them. Drum and bass is amazing for showing you what you can do with them, as long as you find the right examples.

LEARN. YOU. DUMB. FUCKS.

Alright. I'm not saying I'm sinless. I'm just saying that things need to change.

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Electronica is dead to me.

[Sex0r]

I still love it. :D

[winKoneR]

At 1/21/07 06:50 AM, Sex0r wrote: I still love it. :D

same here ;)

[GoreBastard]

At 1/21/07 06:32 AM, SolusLunes wrote:
7. Random Sounds.
One word: Why? Most songs tend to have none (which is nice, but it could be a nice addition, placed well) or so fucking many, it sounds like you TOOK A GIANT LIQUID SHIT ON YOUR MOTHERBOARD then recorded it and said "Durr... hay, I maek muzzik!" I'm fucking looking at you, Glitch. Go fuck yourself, learn how to make music, instead of being PRETENTIOUS FUCKS that stick their noses up in the air and say "You simply do not understand how this is music."

I once shat explosively into a toilet, and I swear to God, it sounded like I was making glitchcore music.

This was my favourite part of the story! Very well told indeed. Very much like a beautiful poem by erm... that dead poet guy... John or Jim something.

[Jiao-Zhang]

At 1/21/07 06:32 AM, SolusLunes wrote:

Is this because of the loop you just heard from me?

[electronica]

You're obviously listening to the wrong sort of Electronic music.
Also how you can condem a subject, that at the age of 18 you probably don't know that much about is beyond me.
Perhaps try being less tempestuous and concentrate your efforts and energy wasted ranting into finding good electronic music that speaks your language, it's out there, no doubt about it.
It's fair enough that you think electronic music is dead to you, but do you really need to start a thread about it. All you have done in my eyes is show your ignorance.

[B0UNC3]

Fill me in on which sub genre ur dissing.

[SineRider]

Funniest topic ever

[B0UNC3]

At 1/21/07 07:48 AM, SineRider wrote: Funniest topic ever

Correction

Most useless rant with a bit of humour ever

[SolusLunes]

At 1/21/07 07:46 AM, B0UNC3 wrote: Fill me in on which sub genre ur dissing.

Now that I think about it, it shouldn't be titled "Why Electronica Sucks."

It SHOULD be titled, "11 things you can do to screw up a song."

[winKoneR]

every topic where somebody is pissing on the other genre sucks...

[B0UNC3]

Mastering bass?LOOOOOOOL

Should I be so mean to counter your whole statement Solus?Hmmmm....

[SolusLunes]

At 1/21/07 07:36 AM, electronica wrote: You're obviously listening to the wrong sort of Electronic music.

Meh, it's more likely the result of an overdose.

Also how you can condem a subject, that at the age of 18 you probably don't know that much about is beyond me.

Condemned? Nah, that last "It's dead to me" was more shits and giggles.
And don't pull the age card on me, kay? It doesn't work. Look at Zenon and Sadspoon.

Perhaps try being less tempestuous and concentrate your efforts and energy wasted ranting into finding good electronic music that speaks your language, it's out there, no doubt about it.

I prefer to think I never waste energy ranting. I thouroughly enjoyed every minute of this.
Yes, of course there's music out there for me, why do you think I'm still here? A lot of people here do make good music.

It's fair enough that you think electronic music is dead to you,

Shits and giggles, my friend.

but do you really need to start a thread about it. All you have done in my eyes is show your ignorance.

Do I need to? Not really, I could just keep this to myself. But it's much better to have it submitted and have it picked apart. I like seeing the holes in my arguments, makes me a better person.
Could I have? Let me just say "OMGZPARAGONTOPICZ." :D

[SolusLunes]

At 1/21/07 08:21 AM, B0UNC3 wrote: Mastering bass?LOOOOOOOL

Should I be so mean to counter your whole statement Solus?Hmmmm....

Please do. Tell me what I'm missing. I like knowing if I'm being a fucking retard. :D

[B0UNC3]

At 1/21/07 08:26 AM, SolusLunes wrote:

At 1/21/07 08:21 AM, B0UNC3 wrote: Mastering bass?LOOOOOOOL

Should I be so mean to counter your whole statement Solus?Hmmmm....

Please do. Tell me what I'm missing. I like knowing if I'm being a fucking retard. :D

Ok I will, I'll just infuryiate my cousing (I'm at a birthday party) So ill do it ones i get home.

N33bs n Gr33tz

[WinTang]

This should be great fun. Just when this Forum was needing some spice! Thanks Solus.

I'm sure you'll love my music, btw. :)

[Draze]

At 1/21/07 06:32 AM, SolusLunes wrote: Solus is PISSED.

Ohhh makes sence now, only a drunk nut would diss electronica ;)

[WoutoR]

he's right.

[VegetarianMeat]

Ever heard of Lady Tron?

[Chronamut]

hahahahaa...

solus? Pissed? He sounds like I did when I listed all my like 50 pet peeves on vgmix.com before they banned me..

neways.. I agree with a lot of hwat you say.. and I'm 23.. so Ive been aroudn the block a bit more.. as for the 10 words in a song,.. alice deejay? Not pointing fingers but some old songs were great with little words.. others obviously.. crap.

also.. a chorus for electronica.. good idea.. it seperates it from like.. rave music.

[DJ-Ravecore]

This thread fails!

[Erectronik]

Lol, should I feel bad right now, a song I[m working on has the lyrics "eat your vegetables, listen to me, I am your mother".

Btw, there is a HUGE damn difference between American and European electronic dance music, and I think he is mostly talking about the American electronic dance music made by nubs possibly?

[Realmguys]

Solus,
That is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read on this site. Thank you for the words of wisdom and a f-ing great laugh!!!

[PERVOK]

At 1/21/07 08:24 AM, SolusLunes wrote: And don't pull the age card on me, kay? It doesn't work. Look at Zenon and Sadspoon.

There we go, I was mentioned.

And thats my que to exit.

[Distortzion]

At 1/21/07 06:50 AM, Sex0r wrote: I still love it. :D

²

[curriemaster]

Solus,

Very amusing post, its clear that you took some time to think about your topic. I would say, though, that you are generalizing quite a lot...perhaps your rules fit to much of the electronic music on NG but certainly not to many popular electronic musicians outside of NG. Im not much of a fan of "dance" music so I cant comment on pure Dance musicians; but I know that artists like The Prodigy, Orbital, Amon Tobin, Aphex Twin, Boards of Canada, The Chemical Brothers, Daft Punk, Death in Vegas, DJ Shadow, etc etc etc are not guilty of the travesties you have laid out. They are, however, electronica! So I would suggest that your 11 rules apply to Dance music generally rather than the whole genre of Electronica.

At 1/21/07 12:32 PM, Erectronik wrote: Btw, there is a HUGE damn difference between American and European electronic dance music, and I think he is mostly talking about the American electronic dance music made by nubs possibly?

But Americans are so cute and amusing with their guns, racism, aura of perpetual fear, etc.! If I held a racist gun to your head, wouldnt you admit out of (temporarily heightened but ever present) fear that American electronic dance music is the best there is?

I rest my bewildering case.

[PERVOK]

At 1/21/07 01:37 PM, SadSpoon wrote: Amen, brother!

*does Amen Break with his mouth*

[Erkie]

Don't even try to defend yourself if any of your songs fit the category, you know who you are and we do too.

This isn't generalized because it's "Why MOST Electronica Sucks", and it's in reference to all the amateurs and noobs who make music just to appease music. If you make music to appease anyone BUT yourself, get out, you'll hate yourself for it later, and for a reason dumbasses.

[curriemaster]

At 1/21/07 01:41 PM, Erkie wrote:

:If you make music to appease anyone BUT yourself, get out, you'll hate yourself for it later, and for a reason dumbasses.

Unless you're laughing maniacally whilst rolling in $100 bills. Then you probably wont hate yourself. But Ill hate you.

[WinTang]

Art and money rarely mix.