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Sorry for the lack of installments. ;) I know where I want the story to go, but I've written myself into a corner, and I can't figure out how to transition it to where I want to go. Call it a bit of writer's block, lol. Anyway, I'm also trying to finish up a flash bit for a collab, and I'm supposed to have it done by March 1st, so I've got that to deal with too. :p 'Course, most of the writing I do for this is at work, but meh. What can you do?

So in short, once the pain medicine kicks in, I'll get back to work on this. :) Cheers.

Okay. New Chapter's in. Hope you guys like it. There's another rape scene, lol.

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7

No one seems to understand the genious behind this.

Great new chapter. This story is really getting good. Yay for rape scenes!

I wrote a better story look.
http://www.moid.org/ed/horse880.txt

Im amazed at your never ending imagination. Great story.

At 2/9/07 03:03 PM, JackTheRaccoon wrote: I wrote a better story look.
http://www.moid.org/ed/horse880.txt

Geez, and I thought MY story was disturbing. xD

I guess animal sex doesn't do it for me. :p No offense. Fictional creatures are one thing, but I can't really stomach reading about a man making love to a stallion, lol.

At 2/9/07 03:03 PM, JackTheRaccoon wrote: I wrote a better story look.
http://www.moid.org/ed/horse880.txt

i never thought animals could be gay.

Shuko, there are a couple of problems with your story that I took a mental note of. This is a passage from Chapter 7.

He's no longer anywhere nearby," he commented. "I think he may have moved. They do that sometimes, but it's rare. Perhaps he didn't want to risk being found. They often choose to move on if they think their hiding spot will become too commonly known. It makes it harder for prey to happen along often enough."

That's not really a contradiction, but I can understand why someone would be confused. Just throwing that out there ;o

Also, in one of the earlier chapters, Ozcar said he can't hold the image of a human on planet Earth, only in the mystical land where the forest Goddess was found. In chapters six and seven, though, Ozcar apparently holds the shape of a human on Earth, despite his earlier claim that he could not.

Besides that, I really like this story :D

i got a story...i guess

THE HOLY DEMON:RISE OF THE IMP

so...i was asked by an angel to become holy...a holy demon?
is that possible?i was skeptical....but i was adventurous. she said it was the only way to make the balance of good and evil not be lost....

dispite being a demon....ive always been curios of angels...when i went to earth,i met an angel
his name was koreth. he became a good freind...but one day demons found him...and killed him. they said angels should not play with demons and vice versa,and i got 100 lashings that day.

so now i am preparing to leave hell....on a long journy to become holy. apparently both angels and demons wish to stop my quest...but i wish to brcome famous. as i prepare to leave through the gates of hell, i see my old freinds mock me, thinking that my quest is hopeless.
but i will show them....i want to avenge koreth..he was a good freind, and they killed him....

as i walk through the gates,i hear my own people mock me and curse me. i walk through and make my way to the earths surface....

well thats it for now....i like it ^_^

Yea, yea, Japnese school girl, whatever... To the topic creater, you certainly have found a way of getting those horny teenagers' attention, haven't you? I am Chinese myself and well knowing the East Asia culture, you would not post a thread in public saying that you are a Japanese school girl. So stop making up stories.

At 2/9/07 03:36 PM, Grammer wrote: Shuko, there are a couple of problems with your story that I took a mental note of. This is a passage from Chapter 7.

He's no longer anywhere nearby," he commented. "I think he may have moved. They do that sometimes, but it's rare. Perhaps he didn't want to risk being found. They often choose to move on if they think their hiding spot will become too commonly known. It makes it harder for prey to happen along often enough."

That's not really a contradiction, but I can understand why someone would be confused. Just throwing that out there ;o

Also, in one of the earlier chapters, Ozcar said he can't hold the image of a human on planet Earth, only in the mystical land where the forest Goddess was found. In chapters six and seven, though, Ozcar apparently holds the shape of a human on Earth, despite his earlier claim that he could not.

Besides that, I really like this story :D

Lol. As I write, I often leave plot holes along the way. :P This is especially true in stories where I don't really try. :) This is one such story. I fully expect to start forgetting character names and stuff, and make new things up as I go along, lol. Thanks for the positive criticism though. :P I'm honored that you paid such close attention. ;) I'll try to take it more seriously, lol.

At 2/9/07 03:51 PM, Dream-of-Duke wrote: Yea, yea, Japnese school girl, whatever... To the topic creater, you certainly have found a way of getting those horny teenagers' attention, haven't you? I am Chinese myself and well knowing the East Asia culture, you would not post a thread in public saying that you are a Japanese school girl. So stop making up stories.

I'm not a Japanese Schoolgirl. -_- This is what's called fanfiction, Mr. Dippy. You don't like it you can choose not to read it. Oh, wait - You already chose that, since you didn't catch on. Carry on then.

By the way, in what way does your being Chinese have ANYTHING to do with my "Japanese" fanfiction? Last I heard the two were distinctly different countries. I have as much a claim to write about it as you do, given that like you, I too am not Japanese. ;)

heres my second part of my story...oh and tell what you think

PART 2

as i came up to earth i noticed i was in a forest. i just realized something, i dont now HOW to become holy.she didnt tell me. i didnt now what i had gotten myself into. as i let out a sigh of dispair i heard a scream...a female human scream. as i drawn close i saw she was being mauled by a bear. i had to hide the fact that i was a demon. so i morphed into a human form.
i quickly ran in and hit the bear as hard as i could making blood fly... i forgot how febble these animals were. "you ok?" i asked. before i could respond she lept up and huged me."you saved me. god bless you". as she said that i felt difrent...lighter....stronger.....thats it!!
all i had to do was help human kind."is there a town around here?" i inquired. "yes,its not far"
she responded.

as we arrived i saw a small town with men carrying lumber around...in hell time means nothing...but on earth it is diffrent.....i guess it hadent been that long since when i was here last. "this way!" yelled the girl. i followed her into an inn . she lead me to a strong looking man who , dispite being human, intimidated me."hi daddy.this man saved me"she said to the man.
"oh realy? what is your name?" i paniced to think of a name...."kain" i blurted out. "kain mrgain"."well kain" the man started "im jack and the lady you just saved was my daughter lily". i turned to the girl to see she was blushing and eying me."dad,shouldent he get a reward?" she asked. "well...since you look like a strong man i will give u my old sword".
he handed me a well kept short sword. sure , my claws would do more damage, but i couldent let people know about it."thanks sir" i said nervously."lossen up" he said.

at that i turned back and sat down at a table. i felt a bit more comfertable with some freinds here

well thats it for now....

At 2/9/07 04:39 PM, mr0imp wrote: well thats it for now....

Well, although it's interesting and all, I don't think you need to be posting it here. :( Not to sound selfish, but this is a thread for MY story, lol. You should make one of your own. ;)

By the way, it's a good rule of thumb to make a new paragraph whenever someone new speaks. It's really hard to read the way you wrote it, lol.

At 2/9/07 04:46 PM, Shuko wrote:

At 2/9/07 04:39 PM, mr0imp wrote: well thats it for now....

Well, although it's interesting and all, I don't think you need to be posting it here. :( Not to sound selfish, but this is a thread for MY story, lol. You should make one of your own. ;)

thnx...and the reson i posted it here was so u could see it and comment on it....

cause your a good writer

Another new brilliant chapter shuko! Keep it up as always :)

At 2/9/07 03:47 PM, mr0imp wrote: i got a story...i guess

THE HOLY DEMON:RISE OF THE IMP

What the hell does this have to do with a horde of horny monsters raping a girl who is trying to kill them. There was not even one mention of porn sex or maus. At least the hot horse story got me hard. This is a porn thread so to start a thread called The Holy Demon. and put yer story in there.

moar bump for truth

Really great new chapter!

Yea, Japnese school girl, whatever... To the topic creater, you certainly have found a way of getting those horny teenagers' attention, haven't you? I am Chinese myself and well knowing the East Asia culture, you would not post a thread in public saying that you are a Japanese school girl. So stop making up stories.

I'm not a Japanese Schoolgirl. -_- This is what's called fanfiction, Mr. Dippy. You don't like it you can choose not to read it. Oh, wait - You already chose that, since you didn't catch on.

By the way, in what way does your being Chinese have ANYTHING to do with my "Japanese" fanfiction? Last I heard the two were distinctly different countries. I have as much a claim to write about it as you do, given that like you, I too am not Japanese. ;)

Hey biatch you want some aloe for that BURN!!!

To the topic creater, you certainly have found a way of getting those horny teenagers' attention, haven't you? I am Chinese myself and well knowing the East Asia culture, you would not post a thread in public saying that you are a Japanese school girl. So stop making up stories.

I'm not a Japanese Schoolgirl. -_- This is what's called fanfiction, Mr. Dippy. You don't like it you can choose not to read it. Oh, wait - You already chose that, since you didn't catch on.
By the way, in what way does your being Chinese have ANYTHING to do with my "Japanese" fanfiction? Last I heard the two were distinctly different countries. I have as much a claim to write about it as you do, given that like you, I too am not Japanese. ;)

Hey biatch you want some aloe for that BURN!!! Shuko just torched yer ass man. She torched yer ass. Thatsa third degree BURN!!!!OOOH. Somebody call the fire department this bitch is gettin burned alive.

.

You want some alo for dat BURN!!! You got OWNT by Shuko.

Shuko, man your story's great! Its kinda like Spirited away!
Think some small company would be interested in turning it into a short anime film?
I know it sounds like a BIG step but its gotta be worth a try, you don't wanna let talent like this dry out!

At 2/9/07 08:59 PM, AshtonNextGen wrote: Shuko, man your story's great! Its kinda like Spirited away!
Think some small company would be interested in turning it into a short anime film?
I know it sounds like a BIG step but its gotta be worth a try, you don't wanna let talent like this dry out!

Although I am greatly honored by your high opinion of my story, I have to advise you not to be daft. :p This is nothing but a fun ficcie created solely for my own amusement, as well as whoring out my meager writing skills to the hormonal members of the forums, lol. I have no aspirations or goals for this other than to keep going with it while it still interests me. ;) Simplistic though that may be, it's pretty much my exact feelings on it.

Still, I appreciate the compliment. =3 Awfully nice of you to say. I seriously laughed when I heard you comparing it to Miyazaki's movie though, lol. As a writer and an animator, I'm not even fit to lick one of his toes, lol.

At 2/9/07 09:09 PM, Shuko wrote:

At 2/9/07 08:59 PM, AshtonNextGen wrote: Shuko, man your story's great! Its kinda like Spirited away!
Think some small company would be interested in turning it into a short anime film?
I know it sounds like a BIG step but its gotta be worth a try, you don't wanna let talent like this dry out!

Although I am greatly honored by your high opinion of my story, I have to advise you not to be daft. :p This is nothing but a fun ficcie created solely for my own amusement, as well as whoring out my meager writing skills to the hormonal members of the forums, lol. I have no aspirations or goals for this other than to keep going with it while it still interests me. ;) Simplistic though that may be, it's pretty much my exact feelings on it.

Still, I appreciate the compliment. =3 Awfully nice of you to say. I seriously laughed when I heard you comparing it to Miyazaki's movie though, lol. As a writer and an animator, I'm not even fit to lick one of his toes, lol.

It could work though, think about it!
If you sell your idea off to some small animation studio ya never know where it could end up, probably some 40 minute 1am budget anime but still, I dunno it kinda left like spirited away to me when you talked about the talking fox in the alleyway and the sex beasts roaming around among the civilains.
Its up to you anyway! @x_X@

Wow. This story is great, I doubted it would keep such a high level of interest and depth in the later chapters, though it seems I was wrong. Brilliant story.

D

I LUVV YOU SHUKO. HAVE MY BABIES!!! MARRY ME!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!
p.s. Hope you got my PM

At 2/9/07 03:51 PM, Dream-of-Duke wrote: Yea, yea, Japnese school girl, whatever... To the topic creater, you certainly have found a way of getting those horny teenagers' attention, haven't you? I am Chinese myself and well knowing the East Asia culture, you would not post a thread in public saying that you are a Japanese school girl. So stop making up stories.

you say your chinese and yet you have an american duke university sig lol

You are a writing genious when is the next chapter coming out cant
wait for it. If you made this into a movie you would probly get more
oscars than Peter Jackson did for lord of the rings. Plz send a
message when next chapter comes out. Dont stop writing XD

At 2/9/07 03:03 PM, JackTheRaccoon wrote: I wrote a better story look.
http://www.moid.org/ed/horse880.txt

YAY FOR GAY BEASTIALITY!!!