Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

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Ever played Twilight Princess, stupid? Ever heard Ocarina of Time has won more awards and has a higher rating than any game in existence, stupid?? DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR OPINION SUCKS AND NO ONE CARES, STUPID???

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Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news

He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"

Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June

For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line

Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine

Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically

And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

Would you look at all that stuff ...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractor, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, water proofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire guages, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

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Why the fuck would you need to jump any other time than if you were beside a ledge?

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I hope this is a joke thread. javascript:MakeSmileySelection(9);
Resigned

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I never liked the Legend of Zelda. The SNES version was the only decent one... the rest where pure garabage.

You get the same tools in every game. You do the same boring tasks in every game. You fight the same boring bosses in every level. If you're older then 6, you don't even have to think about the game as it's so obvious as to what you have to do you can't even consider the puzzles "Puzzles"

I bet, in the next Zelda game, you have to play a musical instrument of some sort in order to ride a horse/change shape/change time in order to get to diffrent palaces to get the 3 items that allow you to get the master sword that you use to get the 7 other items that let you kill gannon, save hyrul, and rescue the princess.

Along the way you'll meet an annoying friend that gives you hints if you paid a bunch of money for the latest GameBoy and a stupid fairy that never shuts up. You'll get a pair of boots, a hook shot, a boomberang, a couple of bomb and ruby sacks, a bow, and diffrent types of arrows. Each dugenon will have said items and you'll have to use said items to both make it to the boss and kill him.

How new and creative!

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You suck, and you think zelda is overrated, take a good look at halo

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At 10/2/07 02:27 PM, Shadow4102 wrote: You suck, and you think zelda is overrated, take a good look at halo

Agreed. Halo is good, but it's so overrated based off all the nerds who are like:
my game has 643 megagigbayte hardwwdrive graphic sentio processor grams. Its capable of 6 hegazerts plus nano byte ware system maximum hardware times the mega hardware processor enabled 2-3-D powered CD rom de-humid- me with enabled GC giga mp3 phone mega jpeg-dvd-enabled processor hardware ISP GCR enabled megahydrates processing functional gram-
OKAY THATS ENOUGH!

Geez, whatever happened to "I'm playing my Gameboy!"

Bill Gates has poisoned us all.
This is why I don't like Halo fanboys. they're nerdier than the people who play peasants quest.

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At 10/2/07 02:27 PM, Shadow4102 wrote: You suck, and you think zelda is overrated, take a good look at halo

halo is the master of overration, I've played the whole trilogy and I still can't figure out what the hype is all about it's a pretty good fps nothing more.
and zelda owns.

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At 10/2/07 02:27 PM, Shadow4102 wrote: You suck, and you think zelda is overrated, take a good look at halo

I would think the diffrence between Zelda and Halo is the fact that Zelda has the oportunity as a game to do new and inoventive things... they just don't.

Halo is a FPS. There isn't much you can do with that. Give people new levels, add a few new weapons, and toss in some new vehicles. If you change anything else it's no longer a FPS game.

Zelda, on the other hand, could have done alot with it's franchise to break new ground in the gaming world. They could have changed the format, given you new weapons, or explored diffrent aspects of RPG games to give each title a unique feel. Zelda 1, 2, and the SNES version are all completely diffrent from each other. But every Zelda title after that has been a rehash of the same old shit that we've all seen before.

How many times am I going to have to collect the master sword, the hook shot, and kill that stupid sand snake thing? How many water temples are they going to make me do? How many times am I going to use the light arrow to kill Gannon? Just because they replaced the ocarina with a wand and your horse with a boat doesn't make the game new and innovative... which is a real shame because a fantasy style game like Zelda has a lot of room to explore new aspects in game play. They just choose not to.

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At 11/5/06 01:49 AM, amaterasu wrote:

Name any game where people shit.

You got me there. Postal 2 maybe?

Metal Gear Solid; the guard goes to shit when you're locked up in the cell.

Or did he go to piss? I forget.

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At 10/2/07 02:38 PM, iEatFood wrote: which is a real shame because a fantasy style game like Zelda has a lot of room to explore new aspects in game play. They just choose not to.

Nintendo tries exploring new gameplay with MArio and wario with all the mario sports games, not to mention warioware. Zelda is for hardcore-classic players. They have kept the same grand theme song throughout all these years, and it's still amazing.

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Halo isn't a bad game, it's just the faggots that play it that make it bad...

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At 10/2/07 02:42 PM, Xragon wrote: Halo isn't a bad game, it's just the faggots that play it that make it bad...

I know , it's great, but overrated.

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Is having the character's take a crap really that important to the game?

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At 10/2/07 02:38 PM, iEatFood wrote:

At 10/2/07 02:27 PM, Shadow4102 wrote: You suck, and you think zelda is overrated, take a good look at halo

I would think the diffrence between Zelda and Halo is the fact that Zelda has the oportunity as a game to do new and inoventive things... they just don't.

meh.. i'm jsut a big zelda nerd, first game i played

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Well, theres voice overs.

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hey zelda good and you take craps in halo

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o boy

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At 10/2/07 02:39 PM, parzo wrote:

At 11/5/06 01:49 AM, amaterasu wrote:

Name any game where people shit.

You got me there. Postal 2 maybe?

Metal Gear Solid; the guard goes to shit when you're locked up in the cell.

Or did he go to piss? I forget.

'Twas Jonny Sasaki, and it was cause he had diarrhea, because you gave him rotten food.

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Shut up I luv zelda

ds post

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At 10/2/07 02:21 PM, dadekuman wrote: Ever played Twilight Princess, stupid? Ever heard Ocarina of Time has won more awards and has a higher rating than any game in existence, stupid?? DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR OPINION SUCKS AND NO ONE CARES, STUPID???

Do you know that that was the worst first post ever, stupid?

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i love this game.... well i dont rely love it

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congrats on just realizing

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At 11/5/06 12:25 AM, Samurai wrote: 5. Who the fuck plays an Ocarina?

My friend plays an ocarina, dumbass.

yea some company got a lisence to make zelda style ocarinas and in the Twilight princess issue of NP you can find a advert for it

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At 11/5/06 12:10 AM, Mr-Bungle wrote: 1. He can't fucking jump without being near a wall

You can only free jump in fighters and certain shooters.

2. The game involves too much walking

Thats what make it more real

3. Story is the weakest point

Stories are great your just illiterate

4. Dungeons are boring and unoriginal

They have money puzzles

5. Who the fuck plays an Ocarina?

It was a very popular instrument in midaevil times

6. When I don't talk to anyone, I don't end up saving the world

Thats cause no one wants the hero to be a dick

7. Nobody takes a shit - ever

No body does in the other games either

8. Most of the games could be an expansion pack

No one likes expansion packs!

9. Nothing is done to change the formula

Sure they're has

10. Time Paradoxes

What ever

11. Gorons like hugging

They're a very loving race

12. Redeads aren't scary at all

There not supposed to be

13. Most of the dungeons are old dungeons with a fresh coat of paint

So? No one cares

14. I can never decapitate a NPC with a hookshot

So? Who wants to!!

15. No voice acting

Dialogue boxes are better

16. Back in my day you didn't need to play a fucking song to open a door

Back in your day they only had Pong

17. Gannondorf could have been killed sooner

Thinks need to be done to prepare

18. Overrated

One of the biggest series ever

19. Tingle is a douche, I shouldn't have to pay him to decipher a map

Agreed...

20. Rupees are for India

Racist

And I'm spent...

So's your mom

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yet it still kicks ass...so much ass....

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The games are original.

The only thing that bugged me though was twilight princess. They didn't need to bring Ganon back, Zant was good enough for the story. Plus they didn't need to make Zant a nut at the end.

BTW, I really don't see why everyone likes Halo so much. I played it once because i heard it was good and i hated it. All you do is walk around a shoot. Halo 2, walk around and shoot. Halo 3, walk around and shoot. All they do is give you a new weapon and veichles. And your calling Zelda unoriginal?

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At 11/5/06 12:10 AM, Mr-Bungle wrote:

13. Most of the dungeons are old dungeons with a fresh coat of paint

true dat brother

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At 11/5/06 12:10 AM, Mr-Bungle wrote: 7. Nobody takes a shit - ever

and you want that in a game?

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Legend of zelda is awesome. You suck cock, asshole!
Don't go against the grain, it's not 'fresh' anymore.