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Programmers defined.

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Jcrypt
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-25 19:45:54 Reply

"You know your a programmer when your suicide note ends with 'deltree' " - Me

IronX
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-25 20:14:54 Reply

"In the world of programmers, a geek is the one who doesn't know how to use a computer".-Me-

Sir-Davey
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 10:54:16 Reply

To strings walk up to a bar, the first one says "I'd like a pintaskdjaslkdjdslk34875*ç&%&sasf*ç"f%ç445 35". Confused, the barman asks "what's wrong with him?". To that. the second one replies "Don't worry, he's not null-terminated".


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thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 12:50:33 Reply

And as for the refrence to semi-conlons, i would say ''your not a programer if you refues to except that a sentence ends period''
I think you mean:

"Your not a programmer if you are able to accept the fact that a sentence ends in a period"

let me explain it to you nice and slow. when people say 'the end, period!' they tend to apply that there is no argument. But interms of grammer and waht not, a period is a full stop, somthing that all sentences are ment to end in. But when programming, to end your sentence, which is useally out put to the sreen, you nearly always have to end the line with a semi-colon, thus you refues to except that a sentence end with a period.

01001111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110010 01100100 01111001 00100001

i will leave to work that out

RageOfOrder
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 14:35:55 Reply

At 10/25/06 06:01 PM, Cinjection wrote: ""Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"

very long pause...

"Java."

I like that one.

When a student asked why C is better than Java, the reply was
"Because Java... is like your mom" - Michael Zapp

elbekko
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 15:24:04 Reply

Not about programmers, but about the languages:

How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot in Any Programming Language

The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem to have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it difficult to remember what language you’re currently using. This guide is offered as a public service to help programmers who find themselves in such dilemmas.

C
You shoot yourself in the foot.

C++
You accidentally create a dozen clones of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”

JAVA
After importing java.awt.right.foot.* and java.awt.gun.right.hand.*, and writing the classes and methods of those classes needed, you’ve forgotten what the hell you’re doing.

Ruby
Your foot is ready to be shot in roughly five minutes, but you just can’t find anywhere to shoot it.

PHP
You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.

ASP.NET
Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.

SQL
SELECT @ammo:=bullet FROM gun WHERE trigger = ‘PULLED’;
INSERT INTO leg (foot) VALUES (@ammo);

Perl
You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody can understand how you did it. Six months later, neither can you. (via Andy)

Javascript
YOu’ve perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.

CSS
You shoot your right foot with one hand, then switch hands to shoot your left foot but you realize that the gun has turned into a banana.

FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.

Modula2
After realizing that you can’t actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

COBOL
Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.

LISP
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ….

BASIC
Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.

FORTH
Foot in yourself shoot.

APL
You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.

Pascal
The compiler won’t let you shoot yourself in the foot.

SNOBOL
If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot.
If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.

Concurrent Euclid
You shoot yourself in somebody else’s foot.

HyperTalk
Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot of the left leg of you.
Answer the result.

Motif
You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

Unix
% ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
% ls
%

Paradox
Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can too.

Revelation
You’ll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as you figure out what all these bullets are for.

Visual Basic
You’ll shoot yourself in the foot, but you’ll have so much fun doing it that you won’t care.

Prolog
You tell your program you want to be shot in the foot. The program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn’t allow it to explain.

Ada
After correctly packaging your foot, you attempt to concurrently load the gun, pull the trigger, scream and shoot yourself in the foot. When you try, however, you discover that your foot is of the wrong type.

Assembly
You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot. After that’s done, you pull the trigger, the gun beeps several times, then crashes.

370 JCL
You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep-fried.

Python
You try to shoot yourself in the foot but you just keep hitting the whitespace between your toes.


"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. " - Unknown

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Jcrypt
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 18:33:00 Reply

At 10/26/06 12:50 PM, thecoshman wrote:
01001111 01101110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110010 01100100 01111001 00100001

i will leave to work that out

"One is not nerdy!" Nice binary exercise!

Craige
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 18:43:36 Reply

At 10/26/06 12:50 PM, thecoshman wrote: let me explain it to you nice and slow. when people say 'the end, period!' they tend to apply that there is no argument. But interms of grammer and waht not, a period is a full stop, somthing that all sentences are ment to end in. But when programming, to end your sentence, which is useally out put to the sreen, you nearly always have to end the line with a semi-colon, thus you refues to except that a sentence end with a period.

I think we are both thinking the same thing, just worded a little differently. We are both comparing the semi-colin to the period (full stop).

thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-26 18:52:43 Reply

At 10/26/06 03:24 PM, elbekko wrote: lots of funnies

you forgot binary

Once you have finaly built your gun, your foot has rotten a way thus can not be shot.

thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-27 16:53:15 Reply

not relay a quote as such, but I seem to have noticed, that most programmers seem to use simple black font whilst on the msn of 'wonder'

I realy do wonder why

elbekko
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-27 16:57:53 Reply

At 10/27/06 04:53 PM, thecoshman wrote: not relay a quote as such, but I seem to have noticed, that most programmers seem to use simple black font whilst on the msn of 'wonder'

I realy do wonder why

Because we like simplicity. And I want it to be readable, not fancy. If I want fancy, I look at stuff I make for school assignments (fancy = good grades)


"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. " - Unknown

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thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-27 17:07:17 Reply

in our school, fancy = confused teachesr => bad grade

RageOfOrder
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-27 19:46:35 Reply

At 10/27/06 05:07 PM, thecoshman wrote: in our school, fancy = confused teachesr => bad grade

In all my classes, fancy is ok, but efficient is a must. !efficient = 0

Jcrypt
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-27 23:28:40 Reply

At 10/27/06 07:46 PM, RageOfOrder wrote:
!efficient = 0

!efficient == 0
>=P

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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 01:02:53 Reply

At 10/26/06 03:24 PM, elbekko wrote: Not about programmers, but about the languages:

How to Shoot Yourself in the Foot in Any Programming Language

I remember this from way back...

Visual Basic
You’ll shoot yourself in the foot, but you’ll have so much fun doing it that you won’t care.

Definately my favorite.

elbekko
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 05:43:15 Reply

At 10/27/06 07:46 PM, RageOfOrder wrote:
At 10/27/06 05:07 PM, thecoshman wrote: in our school, fancy = confused teachesr => bad grade
In all my classes, fancy is ok, but efficient is a must. !efficient = 0

Well duhh :P


"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. " - Unknown

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thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 10:31:06 Reply

well that aint so obviues. I have seen many a teacher that does not realy know what they are talking about when they set you tasks. for example, we have been learn asembly, to a basic level, but when ever we ask the teacher a question, you can bet 90% of the time he will say he does not realy know.

im sorry, but if a teacher cant be asked simple questions suchs 'what way round are the operators the this command' and give a srtagiht answear right wawy, they should not be teaching it.

CronoMan
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 11:55:21 Reply

A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife's name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII (or EBCDIC) code table.

Real Programmers don't know how to cook. Grocery stores aren't open at three in the morning. Real Programmers survive on Twinkies and coffee.

(from "Real programmers don't use Pascal")


"no sound in ass"

thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 12:01:33 Reply

what is the equivilent of a twinki in the UK, what are twinkies, they sound tasty.

and yes, coffe is the life blood of programmers, and most people over 15 years old

elbekko
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 12:20:15 Reply

I for one hate coffee. I live on water, fanta, cola and a (huge) bit of food.
And I'm not fat either :D


"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. " - Unknown

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thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 12:26:05 Reply

well, you are stillgetting the mandaorty caffine fix from the coke, and im sure not jsut the drink...

and no one was saying you where fat... dont get why you decided to share that with us. And idf you think about it, most programmers wouldnt be fat, as they dont bother eating due to trying to to solve the current problem.

elbekko
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 12:41:14 Reply

I said it because I eat/drink so much junk. Just being happy with it ^^


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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 14:44:45 Reply

At 10/28/06 12:01 PM, thecoshman wrote: what is the equivilent of a twinki in the UK, what are twinkies, they sound tasty.

Twinkies are little snack cake things that are yucky (my opinion, I prefer Devil Dogs or Ring Dings). There are some that dip them in batter and fry them kind of like frying a Mars bar.

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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 14:51:58 Reply

At 10/28/06 02:44 PM, Jessii wrote: Twinkies are little snack cake things that are yucky

"yucky". This is a request for a definition.

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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 15:11:04 Reply

At 10/28/06 02:51 PM, Imbolic wrote:
At 10/28/06 02:44 PM, Jessii wrote: Twinkies are little snack cake things that are yucky
"yucky". This is a request for a definition.

yuck¡Ey /ÈyŒki/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[yuhk-ee]
¡Vadjective, yuck¡Ei¡Eer, yuck¡Ei¡Eest. Slang. thoroughly unappetizing, disgusting, or repugnant.

Jessii
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 15:51:51 Reply

At 10/28/06 02:51 PM, Imbolic wrote: "yucky". This is a request for a definition.

What was already defined above OR gross. Something you don't like at all.

DannyIsOnFire
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 16:20:44 Reply

At 10/28/06 02:51 PM, Imbolic wrote: "yucky". This is a request for a definition.

http://www.google.co..mp;rls=com.microsoft :en-US&ie=utf8&oe=utf8


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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 17:43:31 Reply

At 10/27/06 04:53 PM, thecoshman wrote: not relay a quote as such, but I seem to have noticed, that most programmers seem to use simple black font whilst on the msn of 'wonder'

I realy do wonder why

Lol you're fucking right. xD

I have Arial 16 black bold.

thecoshman
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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-28 18:30:50 Reply

At 10/28/06 05:43 PM, seel wrote:
Lol you're fucking right. xD

well ofcourse i am right, when am I ever wrong!

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Response to Programmers defined. 2006-10-30 00:13:01 Reply

At 10/28/06 11:55 AM, CronoMan wrote: A Real Programmer might or might not know his wife's name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII (or EBCDIC) code table.

Hehe, that ones defenatly a good one.

Real Programmers don't know how to cook. Grocery stores aren't open at three in the morning. Real Programmers survive on Twinkies and coffee.

Same

At 10/28/06 12:01 PM, thecoshman wrote: and yes, coffe is the life blood of programmers, and most people over 15 years old

My dentist says I can't have sugar any more, and I don't drink it black, so I'm onto energy drinks (0 sugar) now. Does the same thing.

A also drink diet cola from time to time, but it don't taste great.