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Thought this would be interesting. We all have these high opinions of our selfs as programmers, but I know were all able to poke fun at our selfs. So, here is where I want to see you post all those lines that you constantly hear that poke fun at/define programmers in humorous ways. Or for that matter, just any funny programing joke.

"Programming: A past time similar to banging ones head against a wall, but with fever chances for reward" - Some online dictionary I forget the name of.

"Your not a programmer if you don't use the word 'theoretically' on a day to day basis" - Craige

"Only programmers think we live in an object oriented world." - Jordan 2006

Funny jokes related to programming.

The dictionary.com one. In elbekkos sig. It was quite entertaining. =)

I don't know how many of you read Dijkstra, but here's my favorite quote of his:

"Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California." -- Edsger Dijkstra

At 10/23/06 09:08 PM, Jordan wrote: "Only programmers think we live in an object oriented world." - Jordan 2006

Haha, so true.

"Programmers, we are like the Matrix dudes, living in a binary world, only without the cool sunglasses." - Zendra

"Programmers don't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, they are the chief programmer."

how you do you get a programmer stuck in an infinite loop:
give him a note saying, open, read, close, repeat.

meh.

People call programmers geeks. We respond with <? echo "STFU"; ?>.

bah

"Learn to hack, Hack to learn, buffer-overflow my programs and in hell you'll burn!" - Jcrypt

At 10/24/06 09:27 AM, DannyIsOnFire wrote: People call programmers geeks. We respond with <? echo "STFU"; ?>.

But, But... We are geeks.

Hehe.

Read ze sig ^^

At 10/23/06 09:08 PM, Jordan wrote: "Only programmers think we live in an object oriented world." - Jordan 2006

So true.

At 10/24/06 02:56 AM, Zendra wrote: "Programmers, we are like the Matrix dudes, living in a binary world, only without the cool sunglasses." - Zendra

I can't say I disagree with that.

At 10/24/06 09:27 AM, DannyIsOnFire wrote: People call programmers geeks. We respond with <? echo "STFU"; ?>.

I think that could be allot funnier with more complex code.

At 10/24/06 11:05 AM, Jcrypt wrote: "Learn to hack, Hack to learn, buffer-overflow my programs and in hell you'll burn!" - Jcrypt

That's a good one. Did you come up with it yourself?

In The Matrix, machine programs YOU!

=D

At 10/24/06 12:35 PM, elbekko wrote: In The Matrix, machine programs YOU!

=D

lol

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

At 10/24/06 12:57 PM, dELtaluca wrote: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Not bad ^^

At 10/24/06 02:41 PM, elbekko wrote: Not bad ^^

I didn't quite understand it o.O

A decimal 25 is an octal 31

At 10/24/06 04:31 PM, elbekko wrote: A decimal 25 is an octal 31

Exactly. It was actually rather funny. Beats the old:

"There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

I didn't create these:

Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression.

MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Them

***ERROR 666 - HARD DRIVE POSESSED. LOAD EXOR.SYS (Y/N)***

This was from a post a while back on this board, but I don't remember who it was:

"Real programmers program with pen and paper."

I think that's how it went. Pretty true.

"If you ASCII as stupid question,
You'll get a stupid ANSI."

You're not a programmer unless you have a profound hate for semi-colons and refuse to use them in any essays.

At 10/24/06 10:39 PM, Cinjection wrote: You're not a programmer unless you have a profound hate for semi-colons and refuse to use them in any essays.

Wtf is a semi-colon and how do I use it in a sentence? Eh! Yeah, I rarely use one in an essay or paper anyway, so they don't really exist in my world unless I'm on this hunk of metal called a computer.

At 10/24/06 12:15 PM, Craige wrote: At 10/24/06 11:05 AM, Jcrypt wrote: "Learn to hack, Hack to learn, buffer-overflow my programs and in hell you'll burn!" - Jcrypt

That's a good one. Did you come up with it yourself?

Yep yep, sad though really that I sit and think about that kind of stuff *tears-up* :D

Dreamweaver? Meh. Frontpage? Bah. Notepad? Win.

=P

Lol, I looked up some jokes:
(sources)
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke20.htm
http://discuss.joelo...asp?joel.3.84152.39

Enjoy!

"How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he's washing the pepper spray out of his eyes."

"Two bytes meet. The first one asks, "Are you ill?" The second replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

" How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None - It's a hardare problem"

"A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilo of meat. An hour later he comes back pissed off, that they short changed him by 24 grams"

""Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"

very long pause...

"Java."

end of joke"

- "Have you heard about the object-oriennted way to become wealthy?"
- "No..."
- "Inheritance."

"How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he's washing the pepper spray out of his eyes."

Nice one ^^

"You know you're a programmer when you have a computer tan."

There's mine :D

At 10/24/06 07:30 PM, Craige wrote:

At 10/24/06 04:31 PM, elbekko wrote: A decimal 25 is an octal 31

Exactly. It was actually rather funny. Beats the old:

"There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

god dam you, i was gonig to say that one...

And as for the refrence to semi-conlons, i would say ''your not a programer if you refues to except that a sentence ends period''

i personally think it is rather samrt that.

Those ones were nice Cin'

At 10/25/06 06:39 PM, thecoshman wrote: god dam you, i was gonig to say that one...

And as for the refrence to semi-conlons, i would say ''your not a programer if you refues to except that a sentence ends period''

i personally think it is rather samrt that.

I think you mean:

"Your not a programmer if you are able to accept the fact that a sentence ends in a period"

"You know that you're a programer when you blame a capitilazation error on camelCase naming convention" - me :)